Should I get involved ??
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Here's the deal, I've got 3 friends from childhood, lets name A, B & C.
A borrow some money from B and C its not a huge sum but then again its not a small sum else well.
Its been years and A has not return a single cent to both B and C, they're pissed but on the other hand they do not want to be so direct towards A as his family is not doing so well, the 4 of us still goes out only if I'm the one that asked everyone out otherwise it will usually be B, C and myself.
Recently B and C found out that A has been going on holidays and that pissed them off even more as I can understand their thinking, If A has the $$ to go on holidays why can't he pay them back, They've tried asking afew times but will never get a direct answer from him, best part is A will still call them asking if they wana go for coffee .......
I'm thinking if I should meet A and talk to him about this $$$ issue but don't really know how to put it to him without hurting his feelings as I don't wish to loose a friend over this kind of stuffs. I did lend $$ to "A" before and he always return it to me like he said, thats why I can't understand why he is not returning the $$ he borrowed from both B and C ???
What do you guys think ?? -
go hint to him. u go out with him 1 on 1. then u hint to him, like say maybe u should return or what. dont say infront of b and c.
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Treat it as bad debts.
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Actually B and C did told me that if A were to tell them that he can't pay, they won't even ask for what reason and they are willing to call the debt off but then they found out that "A" has gone to both Phuket and Genting this year that is why they are so pissed off.Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:Treat it as bad debts. -
introduce A to loanshark.
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I think it's not wise to break the friendship just because of a few $$$. Must learnt the lesson, next time don't lent $$$ to them unless it's life threatening situation.
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Agree, thats why its so difficult for me, on 1 hand "B" and "C" are complaining to me about this issue, I agree that its not right but on the other hand I'm also afraid that if I get involved "C" will feel that we're ganging up and I might loose a childhood friend.Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:I think it's not wise to break the friendship just because of a few $$$. Must learnt the lesson, next time don't lent $$$ to them unless it's life threatening situation.
I feel that the worst way to loose a friend is throung $$$ and girl issues. -
I might as well kill him myself.Originally posted by spidey3:introduce A to loanshark. -
I think it's best to talk to 'A' about it. In the long run, you'll be caught in between and that strain will eventually break.
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$$$ is the root to all evil
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I'm trying to figure out how to break it to "A" with the least amount of damage to his feelings.Originally posted by sillyme:I think it's best to talk to 'A' about it. In the long run, you'll be caught in between and that strain will eventually break. -
yes ..... but we can't live without it .....Originally posted by de_middle:$$$ is the root to all evil 
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This matter is already putting a strain on the friendship btn A and B & C, what will happen if it continues this way?
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Thats what I'm afraid of, but I have no idea how to handle this matter as I am at most times a straight forward person so I fear that I might be too harsh while speaking to "A" and it might make things worst .......Originally posted by Wanda:This matter is already putting a strain on the friendship btn A and B & C, what will happen if it continues this way? -
Lesson 1 about frenship.Originally posted by MiX Metal:Here's the deal, I've got 3 friends from childhood, lets name A, B & C.
A borrow some money from B and C its not a huge sum but then again its not a small sum else well.
Its been years and A has not return a single cent to both B and C, they're pissed but on the other hand they do not want to be so direct towards A as his family is not doing so well, the 4 of us still goes out only if I'm the one that asked everyone out otherwise it will usually be B, C and myself.
Recently B and C found out that A has been going on holidays and that pissed them off even more as I can understand their thinking, If A has the $$ to go on holidays why can't he pay them back, They've tried asking afew times but will never get a direct answer from him, best part is A will still call them asking if they wana go for coffee .......
I'm thinking if I should meet A and talk to him about this $$$ issue but don't really know how to put it to him without hurting his feelings as I don't wish to loose a friend over this kind of stuffs. I did lend $$ to "A" before and he always return it to me like he said, thats why I can't understand why he is not returning the $$ he borrowed from both B and C ???
What do you guys think ??
When money is involved, there shall be no true frenship. Get it. -
Just tell him they need money urgently, hope can return back the money soon.
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I think there will be some damage but try to be accusatory.Originally posted by MiX Metal:I'm trying to figure out how to break it to "A" with the least amount of damage to his feelings.
Remember not to stop there. When the money problem is resolved, repair the damage. -
Friends do not take advantage of other people kindness !!! He lend money from B & C and when got money he goes on hoilday instead of returning - that is totally wrong !!! There is no good reason for him of not returning !!!
Even thought he return you money when he borrow from you. But he is still a asshole and unreliable guy !!! He can do that to B & C today ..... who knows ... he can do that to you another day.
Anyway my advice is if B & C want their money they better ask it themselves. For you, stay out of it but you better review your relationship with sure a person as A !!! and never loan him money again. -
I don't think he is really bad, even B & C also told me that they do not want to loose a friend like that. They jus want to know why is he behaving the way he is, apart from this incident, A has been a really good friend to all of us, always being there for us.Originally posted by storywolf:Friends do not take advantage of other people kindness !!! He lend money from B & C and when got money he goes on hoilday instead of returning - that is totally wrong !!! There is no good reason for him of not returning !!!
Even thought he return you money when he borrow from you. But he is still a asshole and unreliable guy !!! He can do that to B & C today ..... who knows ... he can do that to you another day.
Anyway my advice is if B & C want their money they better ask it themselves. For you, stay out of it but you better review your relationship with sure a person as A !!! and never loan him money again. -
I'll try but this kind of damage control is not easy ......Originally posted by sillyme:I think there will be some damage but try to be accusatory.
Remember not to stop there. When the money problem is resolved, repair the damage.
Now I'm starting to understand why one of my secondary school teacher always say whenever money is involved, it always breaks up a relationship. -
Not Your Problem, don't make it yours
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It will be good if A can at least return part of the borrowed sum back to B & C. I have seen relationship between brothers that soured all bec of a similar situation. The brother who borrowed money never return the money, and yet continue to drive a car, spend money, didn't work on a stable job, and yet want to borrow still more money from his not-rich brother.Originally posted by MiX Metal:Thats what I'm afraid of, but I have no idea how to handle this matter as I am at most times a straight forward person so I fear that I might be too harsh while speaking to "A" and it might make things worst .......
As to whether TS should speak to A, it depends on your r/ship and how close, and how open / comfortable you guys are in discussing personal matters such as this. Would it help if you say something like "I appreciate it that you return me the money, but I think B & C are also hoping / will appreciate it if you can return some to them...." ? But then A may answer: "Ya, I will return the money to B & C." Then end of story....and back to square one?
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I understand what u mean, but I can't just sit on the side watching this friendship destroy itself.Originally posted by mistyblue:Not Your Problem, don't make it yours
The 4 of us have been best friends for the past 14 years, we grew up together and have been through thick and thin.
I told myself that I'll not get involved unless I can come up with a solution that will benefit everyone and that at the end of it B & C will get their $$$ back and the 4 of us will still be friends but till now I still can't figure out how ..... -
Yes, but not totally true. It depends how much one values friendship over money.Originally posted by MiX Metal:I'll try but this kind of damage control is not easy ......
Now I'm starting to understand why one of my secondary school teacher always say whenever money is involved, it always breaks up a relationship.
I think B and C don't mind the money, but they were made to feel like a fool. -
That is 1 of my worry as wellOriginally posted by Wanda:As to whether TS should speak to A, it depends on your r/ship and how close, and how open / comfortable you guys are in discussing personal matters such as this. Would it help if you say something like "I appreciate it that you return me the money, but I think B & C are also hoping / will appreciate it if you can return some to them...." ? But then A may answer: "Ya, I will return the money to B & C." Then end of story....and back to square one?