This is too much!
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I am ok, just that my middle finger a bit pain from yesterday netball game.Originally posted by de_middle:dun, ur reply doesn't seem to correspond with what i mentioned, u ok anot
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Originally posted by sggirl07:
he smsed me that he is going to hong kong this weekend and may not come back forever.
Thank you girl for assuring me that.
Yes, you are right. he confused me with all those rubbish. That he is innocent, he didnt mean to lie to me that he is married, he didnt mean to lie to me that he has no kids (cos i asked very straightforwarly "are you married" he said no, and i went on asking "do you have kids" he said no again). And he said those things (he insisted they are not lies) cos he was a victim of circumstances, cos he spoke too fast! But hey, has he considered i am his victim? that he really [b]HAD LIED to me?
He is perpetually evasive. And when cornered, he lied. i remember how i cornered him when we were in a relationship. when i begin to suspect some thing was wrong, i asked him again "are you married, he tried to evade, but no, i wont take that for an answer, he said, no, he is not married.
He perpetually treating me in such ways i deem unreasonable, forever evasive, and yes, i went through the paradigm shift. i began to think that i was wrong, maybe. i begin to question myself. This morning, i woke up, and after reading your reply, i begin to understand, perhaps that is why so many gfs or wives help their bfs or husbands do ridiculous things, even like killing or raping.
Yes, he is forever depending on others for his own emotional stability and ego. he told me that pretty girl is so innoncent that she innoncently stroke his face and thigh, doesnt know that such acts are not platonic. she is always trying to hold his hands, doesnt know that such acts are not platonic. OH com'on, she works in entertainment line. she, only 21 years ol, had a 48 years old japanese bf before. does he think that she is so innocent? has no knowledge of seduction? or is he so innocent? he is not borned yesterday. he is in his 30s! or is he quietly stroking his own ego? yes, he depends on her, me and other girls for his own emotional stability and ego. And if that makes someone a loser, he then will be one.
Is he selffish? this is a qn i keep asking myself.
you made several very valid points. Thank you for your assurance, for telling me this is too much, for assuring me that he is disrespecting me and treating me as more inferior than him, for i am no longer able to tell black from white anymore.[/b] -
pui, playing on your sympathy againOriginally posted by sggirl07:he smsed me that he is going to hong kong this weekend and may not come back forever.
don't reply him
he will usually send in another sms saying something like "i really going ah!"
and then, "i really really going ah!" and so on...
he'll keep on pestering, you'll see -
He doesn't think any of that. He is lonely and he wants your company. Previously he was not l;onely and he did not need your company. Simple as that. Don't complicate life with imaginings and wild conclusions.Originally posted by sggirl07:My bf and i have broke up for half a year. This was my story.
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=236155&page=0
For those who are lazy to read, to summarise, he was married and seperated, and asked me to wait for him for completion of his separation, which would be due by end march.
During this period of time, we barely met. manytimes, he agreed to meet, but last min had to cancel. and manytimes i asked to meet, he turned down saying he was busy
i waited for him, but when the deadline was approaching, he continued to be evasive. still so reluctant to answer my qns on things, and when i asked when can we meet, he said maybe april. i was so mad and i felt that he was stringing me along. Confronted him , but he was still evasive.
so we broke up in end march.
Recently he called me, claimed that he has divorced, asked me to patch up. So i asked for time to think. we communicate via email, msn and phone. he asked to meet. i turned him down. as i think it is not a gd idea to let emotion overtake gd judgement, and you really wont know how things will turn out after meeting up. he agreed. i think it is fair to only set a deadline, so i told him i will let him know the answer by october. he agreed too.
all this while, i have been considering. And all this while, he has asked to meet occasionally, i turned him down.
this morning, he insist that he wants to meet me this weekend, and want things to 'move', cos he is lonely and he is refraining himself from getting involved in other relationship while waiting for me.
i feel that this is absurd. this is too much. so if he wants, he can ignore me totally and dont meet me at all even though we were together (ie a couple). and now he is lonely, i must meet him despite i need the time to have a clear mind to think?
Is he disregarding my feelings? Does he really think i am a inferior being to him? Does he even respect me at all?
If you are serious about making "gd judgement" it is not only "let emotion overtake gd judgement" but getting rid of wild imaginings as well. -
So what's your gripe now? That things are past your acceptable threshold?Originally posted by sggirl07:continue to give selflessly (which i did!) and continued to be deceived?
you think you can accept a married woman (who lied to you that she is single outrightly) as gf, and kept lying to you and kept stringing you along? But when you call it quits, she asked to come back, but when you said you need time to think, she threatens you with another man how he seducing her and chasing her? tell you she want to see you tomorrow cos she is so lonely, but if you dont see her, she may give in to her loneliness and be with that man.
If you think you can accept such a woman, good luck to you.
If you can walk your talk, then talk your talk.
If so, why not just call time on this relationship? Or are you here to seek validation of your self-denial expecting others to sympathise with you and nudge you back towards the guy who has, in your view, gone overboard? -
Couldn't agree more.Originally posted by fudgester:Which goes back to what everyone has been asking you: Why are you bothered so much about this?
Like I said, if your purpose of creating this thread is to rant about his behaviour, then this thread doesn't belong in AA but in Whinehouse. -
The fact that she posted here shows something right ?Originally posted by walesa:Couldn't agree more.
She's still thinking about him and he knows it.
Why would a girl who says she has moves on (ie forgot about him) yet still complains about him?
doko -
Why wouldnt you answer my question? would you accept such a person? Cause you know you cannot walk your talk?Originally posted by walesa:So what's your gripe now? That things are past your acceptable threshold?
If so, why not just call time on this relationship? Or are you here to seek validation of your self-denial expecting others to sympathise with you and nudge you back towards the guy who has, in your view, gone overboard?
Why am i writing here? There are many reasons why certain people do certain things. Seeking validation is just one of the simple reasons that simple minds like yours can think, i suppose. Try read more in depth and think harder if you really want to know. -
It's you who can't come to terms with the status quo, so what are you moaning about? Obviously, you're hardly in agony.Originally posted by sggirl07:Why wouldnt you answer my question? would you accept such a person? Cause you know you cannot walk your talk?
Why am i writing here? There are many reasons why certain people do certain things. Seeking validation is just one of the simple reasons that simple minds like yours can think, i suppose. Try read more in depth and think harder if you really want to know.
Do you notice a skewed train of response throughout this thread? While you're going all and sundry about what a jerk that chap is, your head is still inkling you towards giving him another chance. You know you want to (regardless of what he has done), much as you try to justify you shouldn't. So why not just give this another go? After all, as someone else puts it, if you were really tired of his nonsense, why would his actions even bother you anymore?
There's hardly any depth to this whole debacle to begin with - as born out by others who have posted, mine is clearly not just an isolated opinion. If anything, it bears all semblance of an insecure soul wanting an endorsement and validation of your self-denial to give you the encouragement you need to "give him another chance" and realise the self-fulfilling prophecy which you've been harbouring. -
You sure that is what i want? You sure you know what i want better than myself?Originally posted by walesa:It's you who can't come to terms with the status quo, so what are you moaning about? Obviously, you're hardly in agony.
Do you notice a skewed train of response throughout this thread? While you're going all and sundry about what a jerk that chap is, your head is still inkling you towards giving him another chance. You know you want to (regardless of what he has done), much as you try to justify you shouldn't. So why not just give this another go? After all, as someone else puts it, if you were really tired of his nonsense, why would his actions even bother you anymore?
There's hardly any depth to this whole debacle to begin with - as born out by others who have posted, mine is clearly not just an isolated opinion. If anything, it bears all semblance of an insecure soul wanting an endorsement and validation of your self-denial to give you the encouragement you need to "give him another chance" and realise the self-fulfilling prophecy which you've been harbouring.
HAHA! Dont act smart, Smart Alec.
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Am I sure that's what you want? No, because the delusional and those living in self-denial don't even know what they want and are pretty much hallucinating.Originally posted by sggirl07:You sure that is what i want? You sure you know what i want better than myself?
HAHA! Dont act smart, Smart Alec. -
i guess enough flaming anyone here.. the reason TS post this is her own reason, if you cant help , just dun flame her or act smart like you're in her situation before. If you experienced something like hers, advise instead of flaming
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Thanks Zars, and all others who are concerned.Originally posted by Zarks:i guess enough flaming anyone here.. the reason TS post this is her own reason, if you cant help , just dun flame her or act smart like you're in her situation before. If you experienced something like hers, advise instead of flaming
I've already agreed with walesa that i should ignore all his advices on this thread.
Thanks again
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well, i think he is being selfish as he only thinks of you when he got divorced and left with no companions or love.
maybe you should let him wait a year or two if you love him. Of course, if he waits while getting his life back then i think you should give him a second chance. if he gets nasty or angry over your decision, you should stay firm with your choice course this is the only way to start a new life with him.
on the contary, love is blind and you or he may not be able to withstand this test........ for that, you must think carefully and decide yourself ultimately.
Hope you are able to go through this part of your life without any regrets or remorse.