what u said may be true..Originally posted by necrolyt3:It is very pointless to point fingers at the guy since by psychological effect, we will always side with the one giving the story. It is sinful to give nasty comments on that guy when we are not inside the story. We dun have the power to judge people.
sggirls07, after so many posts by you, isn't it obvious that u still like him? Even if now hundreds of ppl say u should leave the guy, You will still not be able to convince urself.
If you think a bad guy is gd, he is gd. if u think a gd guy is bad, he is bad. All i can say is live with no regrets. The purpose of you writing this thread is simple. You like him, but you are resisting it forcefully. Why? If you are depending on sgforums ppl to give u a push, then sad to say you will only get biased results.
unfortunately, most times, people don't know whether Right or Wrong until already lovedOriginally posted by spycampers:what u said may be true..
but what the plus point when she make the choice by going to this guy..
and get dumped later??
why make the mistake just by telling her self dun regret later????
loving a person.
is not a mistake if u are loving a RIGHT person..
Loving a person
is a mistake if it the WRONG person.
Originally posted by sggirl07:seriously, you just dump this guy.
Thank you girl for assuring me that.
Yes, you are right. he confused me with all those rubbish. That he is innocent, he didnt mean to lie to me that he is married, he didnt mean to lie to me that he has no kids (cos i asked very straightforwarly "are you married" he said no, and i went on asking "do you have kids" he said no again). And he said those things (he insisted they are not lies) cos he was a victim of circumstances, cos he spoke too fast! But hey, has he considered i am his victim? that he really [b]HAD LIED to me?
He is perpetually evasive. And when cornered, he lied. i remember how i cornered him when we were in a relationship. when i begin to suspect some thing was wrong, i asked him again "are you married, he tried to evade, but no, i wont take that for an answer, he said, no, he is not married.
He perpetually treating me in such ways i deem unreasonable, forever evasive, and yes, i went through the paradigm shift. i began to think that i was wrong, maybe. i begin to question myself. This morning, i woke up, and after reading your reply, i begin to understand, perhaps that is why so many gfs or wives help their bfs or husbands do ridiculous things, even like killing or raping.
Yes, he is forever depending on others for his own emotional stability and ego. he told me that pretty girl is so innoncent that she innoncently stroke his face and thigh, doesnt know that such acts are not platonic. she is always trying to hold his hands, doesnt know that such acts are not platonic. OH com'on, she works in entertainment line. she, only 21 years ol, had a 48 years old japanese bf before. does he think that she is so innocent? has no knowledge of seduction? or is he so innocent? he is not borned yesterday. he is in his 30s! or is he quietly stroking his own ego? yes, he depends on her, me and other girls for his own emotional stability and ego. And if that makes someone a loser, he then will be one.
Is he selffish? this is a qn i keep asking myself.
you made several very valid points. Thank you for your assurance, for telling me this is too much, for assuring me that he is disrespecting me and treating me as more inferior than him, for i am no longer able to tell black from white anymore.[/b]
It is because you still have some feelings left for him. Maybe both of you have had some good times together? So you refuse to let the hope in you die, and you continue to hope (you might do this subconsciously) that he will change in the future...Originally posted by sggirl07:true...
honestly, i find myself delusional. after so much had happened, why do i still refuse to believe that he had never been sincere to even begin with?
You will know if you stop being delusional and try to view the whole relationship as if you are an audience rather than an active participant. So many outsiders have told you that this guy ain't worth it, but because you can't detach yourself from your emotions and your attachment to this guy, you decided to continue to cling to whatever hope that is left like a single riftraft that would help to save you from drowning...Originally posted by sggirl07:yeah, how would we know we have loved the right person or wrong person? there is no acid test.
And people change.
Oh, you are back agonising about the same guy again.Originally posted by sggirl07:My bf and i have broke up for half a year. This was my story.
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=236155&page=0
For those who are lazy to read, to summarise, he was married and seperated, and asked me to wait for him for completion of his separation, which would be due by end march.
During this period of time, we barely met. manytimes, he agreed to meet, but last min had to cancel. and manytimes i asked to meet, he turned down saying he was busy
i waited for him, but when the deadline was approaching, he continued to be evasive. still so reluctant to answer my qns on things, and when i asked when can we meet, he said maybe april. i was so mad and i felt that he was stringing me along. Confronted him , but he was still evasive.
so we broke up in end march.
Recently he called me, claimed that he has divorced, asked me to patch up. So i asked for time to think. we communicate via email, msn and phone. he asked to meet. i turned him down. as i think it is not a gd idea to let emotion overtake gd judgement, and you really wont know how things will turn out after meeting up. he agreed. i think it is fair to only set a deadline, so i told him i will let him know the answer by october. he agreed too.
all this while, i have been considering. And all this while, he has asked to meet occasionally, i turned him down.
this morning, he insist that he wants to meet me this weekend, and want things to 'move', cos he is lonely and he is refraining himself from getting involved in other relationship while waiting for me.
i feel that this is absurd. this is too much. so if he wants, he can ignore me totally and dont meet me at all even though we were together (ie a couple). and now he is lonely, i must meet him despite i need the time to have a clear mind to think?
Is he disregarding my feelings? Does he really think i am a inferior being to him? Does he even respect me at all?
wow economics. i think he is using the 'pretty girl' as leverage to boost his image. that he could have other girls but want YOU. just think through what you want and dont rush things.Originally posted by sggirl07:He is probably thinking that by waiting for me this time, he has to abstain from involving from other girls, which include a very pretty girl (in accordance with him) who is chasing him.
But isnt this supposed to be the way? You give up our relaltionship when you were that irresponsible. now, if you want it back, show some sincerity instead of thinking about opportunity costs!
The mountain is high, andOriginally posted by ILPSY:I think TS sorta move on from this relationship but she still feels indignant about the whole thing, thats all.![]()
Then in that case, this thread has a better home in Whinehouse than in AA.Originally posted by ILPSY:I think TS sorta move on from this relationship but she still feels indignant about the whole thing, thats all.![]()
Isn't that the source of your own predicament in the first place?Originally posted by sggirl07:Good morning!
no, there you go, you are wrong again. he should be showing his sincerity because he wants a relationship.
Sincerity is a essential ingredient in any relationship! I should show my too. no?
Originally posted by walesa:continue to give selflessly (which i did!) and continued to be deceived?
Isn't that the source of your own predicament in the first place?
You have a set of values you expect others to abide by and anything that falls short is rendered a failure on the part of others. Would you step back for a moment and try looking at things from [b]his perspective?
That said, if you're so keen to ensure you get a fair deal and that he should be showing his sincerity because you're showing yours, instead of being prepared to give selflessly, why bother being in a relationship in the first place? That way, you won't need to worry about giving more than you receive!
Of course, if you think he's taking you for granted, that's quite another matter and you ought to know when to call time on your relationship, but how anyone in a relationship can have a mindset like yours is beyond me.
Over the course of a lifetime (assuming your marriage would even last that long with your mindset), it's quite obvious both parties aren't going to receive more than what they give - if you can't live with that, why not enjoy your singlehood?[/b]
You better get out fast before it is too late.Originally posted by norm:Avoid and ignore this man. Otherwise you will end up as another victim of this man. What has happened to his wife, will happen to you too. This man is a two timer.
Which goes back to what everyone has been asking you: Why are you bothered so much about this?Originally posted by sggirl07:If you think you can accept such a woman, good luck to you.
If you can walk your talk, then talk your talk.
Originally posted by sggirl07:My bf and i have broke up for half a year. This was my story.
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=236155&page=0
For those who are lazy to read, to summarise, he was married and seperated, and asked me to wait for him for completion of his separation, which would be due by end march.
During this period of time, we barely met. manytimes, he agreed to meet, but last min had to cancel. and manytimes i asked to meet, he turned down saying he was busy
i waited for him, but when the deadline was approaching, he continued to be evasive. still so reluctant to answer my qns on things, and when i asked when can we meet, he said maybe april. i was so mad and i felt that he was stringing me along. Confronted him , but he was still evasive.
so we broke up in end march.
Recently he called me, claimed that he has divorced, asked me to patch up. So i asked for time to think. we communicate via email, msn and phone. he asked to meet. i turned him down. as i think it is not a gd idea to let emotion overtake gd judgement, and you really wont know how things will turn out after meeting up. he agreed. i think it is fair to only set a deadline, so i told him i will let him know the answer by october. he agreed too.
all this while, i have been considering. And all this while, he has asked to meet occasionally, i turned him down.
this morning, he insist that he wants to meet me this weekend, and want things to 'move', cos he is lonely and he is refraining himself from getting involved in other relationship while waiting for me.
i feel that this is absurd. this is too much. so if he wants, he can ignore me totally and dont meet me at all even though we were together (ie a couple). and now he is lonely, i must meet him despite i need the time to have a clear mind to think?
Is he disregarding my feelings? Does he really think i am a inferior being to him? Does he even respect me at all?
No we dont think that he divorced his wife is an asshole.Originally posted by GermKiller:Wah u all say until this guy like raped the girl like that!
All i can say to u guys is get off your moral high horse.
Do u guys know this fella?
Dunno right!
You guys are only hearing 1 side of the story then condem people until like he damn jialat . Best part u guys dun even know this fella.
Does it mean that he divorce his wife for another girl he is an asshole?
dun, ur reply doesn't seem to correspond with what i mentioned, u ok anotOriginally posted by angel7030:U dun have to visit pro just because you got no GF rite? Go out of the cave, stop playing games, wasted so much time playing games and porn till gf also forget. You should have classmate, college, relatives, frens to chill out, learn to socialise, dun be a thrifty, spend a bit, be jovious, and dun be afraid of failure in losing a gf you want very much, just let go and find again, very soon, you will have one that love you so much. And of course, you have to look at yourself and dun expect the high end beauti and sexy like movie star type ok. Be simple, jovious, fun to be with and civilise, and dun use the middle finger.
from what u wrote again, there is really nothing much to say.....u already fomulated ur perception so stick to ur decision & dun even entertain him, forget about the October deadline.Originally posted by sggirl07:continue to give selflessly (which i did!) and continued to be deceived?
you think you can accept a married woman (who lied to you that she is single outrightly) as gf, and kept lying to you and kept stringing you along? But when you call it quits, she asked to come back, but when you said you need time to think, she threatens you with another man how he seducing her and chasing her? tell you she want to see you tomorrow cos she is so lonely, but if you dont see her, she may give in to her loneliness and be with that man.
If you think you can accept such a woman, good luck to you.
If you can walk your talk, then talk your talk.
yap say like this problem solvedOriginally posted by de_middle:just tell him that it is not possible anymore......problem solved![]()