I feel like a hypocrite
-
Thank you bbmars. I think I feel the same as you then. But I am not trying to rush into a Next r/s. I just met this someone whom I took a liking and would like to know better and hang out with. Definately a R/S is not possible , this i Know.Originally posted by bbmars:Can understand how you feel. Afterall, I was once away for 2yrs studying while my wife is back in SG working. That feeling ...is no fun.. and same case, there was some problem after I left.... we hardly talk and just kept to ourself.. that made it even worse.
Suddenly, there is no one for you and you have to fend for yourself in a strange land. In fact, I was free to do anything I wanted except time to go home. only got to chat with each other online anf that was in open forum where everybody was reading your post.. mostly about house, family, but nothing about ourself.. merely 30 min the most, most time 10min... long story after that.... but long distance really a test of each other's faith and real LOVE?
You really have to ask yourself. If without this posting, will you still have the same feeling with yr b/f? would the same thing happen when another guy comes by? Probably only you can answer that. If you are really not for each other, it will still happen and this working in foriegn country merely hasten the pace of the happening. Talk to your b/f, may chat online and find out how each other's doing.... there is this thing as video chat. If I can chat my my vendor in India, why not you?
I am not sure if he likes me coz I nver try to find out or what. But I realised that I tried to be evasive with regards to questions about my bf, like resorting to lie. And suddenly, I seem to forget to think about my bf . -
Originally posted by silly&dumb:I am posted overseas for work for 2 years. Before i left, both me and my bf agreed that this is a good test for our r/s.
All has been fine, until recently, I found myself developing a crush for one of my colleagues. 1st time .
From the time I acknowledged this "infatuation", I know it will head no where. Because also,we're from different parts of the world . i know this but I somehow got very attracted to him. Each time he gives me that charming wide smile, I find myself secretly going "gaga" inside.
to cut the long story short, I am in serious dilemma with myself. I find myself lost in a situation where i will always fnding reasons to place myself near him, or checking out where he is, what he is doing.
And these carried on for 2 weeks. But our contact is always a wide smile or short conversation with regards to the work he is doing.
everything was in stagnant phase until yesterday, I gathered up enough courage to sit beside him in the meeting room and then i said to him " i think you are very cute" in his language. I guessed he was quite surprised but he was all smiles.
Then today, we happened to be together for lunch, and on the walk back to the office, he suddenly asked me if i have a boyfriend.
that moment struck me. I had not expected him to ask me this and I seriously duno wad to say. No idea why he asked me that question which i regard as very "personal" and I pretended that i have not heard him. then he asked me again.
Then I told him that Im not sure, and maybe yes, maybe no. he asked why?
i just stammered and I just cannot lie completely.
I am such a hypocrite. But I don't know how to deal with myself.
Sia la... I thought I had posted my reply on Sunday. Din know it didn't survive through the lag.
*** LDR is not just any other test - it's a high risk gamble with regards to blind faith without physical presence; like believing in God without seeing God's avatar in person.
One truth is that not many can handle the implication of absolute freedom because when we are so dazzled by this fresh breath of freedom, we realised that we have so much powers on hand that we can do anything we want without being caught (or at least the accountability can be concealed).
Right now, it's so possible for you to cheat on your bf without his knowledge, fool around for a good two years and after you had your fun, you could go back to your boyfriend in Singapore and treat everything that took place as surreal (unless your conscience hinders you in any ways). Of course, by then, if you reckon that you loves his man better, you are also free to dump the guy in Singapore and continue this relationship.
A best of both worlds isn't it?
You are facing a factor most commonly attributed to the failures of LDRs - when you realised that you have new considerations. Imho, the lack of your bf's presence might have contributed to your initiatives, but nevertheless, when you talk about test, this is after all your 'examination question', therefore your dilemma is anticipated and isn't random.
You are not a hypocrite; you are just emotionally confused because this man wanted to check your on current 'status' and you felt that if you were to be truthful, it might eliminate whatever possibilities it could have been - whatever the possibilities your subconscious mind quietly desired.
Take it easy first. Yes, you might have felt something different in this man; but it's too early to decide on anything. It could be a product of your emotional needs not tendered while slogging overseas - seriously, you will never know. My suggestion is to be truthful with yourself, your circumstances and take it one at the time; making dubious replies will make you appear evasive.
Please allow time to give you some directions.
Cheers -
aah, didn't you here this: absence makes the heart goes wandering ... wandering to a new love!Originally posted by silly&dumb:thank you for your harsh feedback and I do appreciate it. Suddenly you make me realised that this seems like a VERY Big mistake and 100% betrayal.
It is indeed difficult to maintain a LD relationship and not seeing each other for a year (since we last met) and I admit that the love is not as strong as before. But I cannot decide if it it just right to end it Now? Like.. Right Now? when I myself duno wad is happening. -
I appreciate your analysis and you have really spoken thru my mind.I know the sticky situation I was in and I have no idea what is the most ethical answer . I know I have acted evasive and dumb- struck and perhaps he did not mean anything more than that.Originally posted by Yunhaier:***
A best of both worlds isn't it?
You are facing a factor most commonly attributed to the failures of LDRs - when you realised that you have new considerations. Imho, the lack of your bf's presence might have contributed to your initiatives, but nevertheless, when you talk about test, this is after all your 'examination question', therefore your dilemma is anticipated and isn't random.
You are not a hypocrite; you are just emotionally confused because this man wanted to check your on current 'status' and you felt that if you were to be truthful, it might eliminate whatever possibilities it could have been - whatever the possibilities your subconscious mind quietly desired.
Take it easy first. Yes, you might have felt something different in this man; but it's too early to decide on anything. It could be a product of your emotional needs not tendered while slogging overseas - seriously, you will never know. My suggestion is to be truthful with yourself, your circumstances and take it one at the time; making dubious replies will make you appear evasive.
Please allow time to give you some directions.
Cheers
Okie I know what to do now. I shld stop this feeliing from further development.
Thank you...