How do i noe if a ger likes mi or not?
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You can't, that takes the fun out of everything.
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Just keep trying. Gals need time to fall in love. Your sincerity will touch her someday.
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imo u shld just go for it. if she says no, then no point waste ur time/her time right
try and u wont live with regrets -
Originally posted by curiousOrange:
This is obviously a skewed example and far from being applicable exhaustively to all cases.
LetÂ’s imagine a scenario then.
You have been eyeing this girl in your office for about 2 months.
You play James Blunt’s “You’re beautiful” every night and stalk her every night in your dreams.
You are interested to know anything about her, her hobbies, her habits, her love life etc.
Then one day, she gives you a call and asks you for a date.
Are you going to say no?
Yes, you have some birthday party you need to attend.
Think again! The girl of your dream just called!
Are you really going to say no because itÂ’s impolite to reject a friend of 10 years?
CanÂ’t you arrange something else after the party? Or maybe ask her to join the party?
The above scenario would hopefully make my point clear to you.
If you want a girl to say yes to dating and possibly smooching you after a matter of 2 months, you have to play your cards right and she has to be HIGHLY INTERESTED.
When I say highly interested, it means you are right up there in her wanted list.
She views you as equal importance to her best friends.
In this case, I probably have to flip several pages before I can see your name on that list.
Obviously, you can simply ask her whether sheÂ’s ready to be your girlfriend.
Her most likely reply is she needs time.
I've seen enough people - both men and women - with enough principles to make good their promises and honour their word. In such instances, it wouldn't be reasonable to expect the woman (who has first given her word to the other party whom she had committed to prior to being asked out by the guy in question) to go back on her word, would it? -
If she prefers to spend time with you than other stuff -
What about me?
- went out already 1st time
- she asked me to bring her out again after i'm back from overseas
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Body Language lah Dude!
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well, what i can say is that.. all gals can treat u very good as a good fren.Originally posted by daniu82:I had known a ger for abt 2 mths and she is from my workplace but she is not in the company anymore. I tried to get close to her by helping her with her work and it is very obvious until almost everyone in the company already noe tat i like her. I have not feel so strongly for a ger b4, therefore i tink she is the one for mi after interacting and finding out more abt her. I even sent her home for a couple of times and even she is not in the company anymore, i msg her everyday and with positive reply each time. The problem i have is tat i dunno if she likes mi or not and i dun have previous experience to rely on..... Can anybody tell mi wat should i do next or should i ask her if she likes mi or not this early, cos i scare this might scare her away..... Any signs that i can see if she is interested in mi also?
Most gal will also give positive reply like picking up your phone or replying your sms..
Most gal concern you as good as your best fren concern you too...
But one thing that make every gal different is that if shes willing to go out spend precious time with you alone..
SO...
U asked her out, she rejected for some reasons.. fine. And she never make date with u nex week..
Even if she do say to go out nex week or so, perhaps you're just in the bottom list.. only will go with you if no one ask her out..
Try this... Try ask her out for 10 times... of course.. dun ask her everyweek.. But try 10 times.. if your attempt is 10 times and no result.. then.. sorry man..
YOu just need more time to be friend with her 1st...
First u need to check out if she has anyone in her mind yet? Dont ask too straight-forward = = Think yourself ok? But be prepared cuz:
If no, dont assume she's 100% telling the truth. Mayb its no, cuz it might be some1 connected in the company and dun wanna let u know bout it or they both not yet official. Sometimes, this kind of thing we just let even our best fren to know bout it unless its official.. So be prepared..
Anyway, her best friend saying u got chance.. doesnt meant she likes you to be as bf yet.. it was just that your gal jus thinks you're cute or nice.. so rite now just go slow and steady.
Conclusion, The only way to know a gal likes you or not is by dating out..if you can date her out many times alone, then its good.. its a good sign that she has chemically interested to you too.. but takes thing slow even this happens.. and dont suddenly turn into a Wussy.. just be yourself..but dont be too timid.. A gal respect their bf to be tough and strong with their own thinking..Be that -
bringing out doesnt mean anything yet = = i personally went out many times with gal alone but it was just fren.. so does she.. = = but if shes looking forward to it, then its good.. u can get to know her more be4 u can commit yourselfOriginally posted by Perception:What about me?
- went out already 1st time
- she asked me to bring her out again after i'm back from overseas -
Just dun fall into her list of "nice guys"
When gys fall in this group,they forever remain in the "friends" list. -
let me tell u, ur clear for take off so go for it.....u'll succeedOriginally posted by daniu82:I had known a ger for abt 2 mths and she is from my workplace but she is not in the company anymore. I tried to get close to her by helping her with her work and it is very obvious until almost everyone in the company already noe tat i like her. I have not feel so strongly for a ger b4, therefore i tink she is the one for mi after interacting and finding out more abt her. I even sent her home for a couple of times and even she is not in the company anymore, i msg her everyday and with positive reply each time. The problem i have is tat i dunno if she likes mi or not and i dun have previous experience to rely on..... Can anybody tell mi wat should i do next or should i ask her if she likes mi or not this early, cos i scare this might scare her away..... Any signs that i can see if she is interested in mi also? -
It's difficult to tell if she treats you as a good friend or someone special.
But eventually time will tell.
Even if she's not interested in you now, she might be in the future.
I once didn't thought that i will like this guy who likes me,but slowly,i've fallen for him. Yea,so all the best to ya!
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Please lah, what era already, still flower here and there. Today gal dun fancy flower one lah. Show money better ya, dun waste money on flower okOriginally posted by ifish:good idea..
but later the gal say crysantinum how? -
u obviously have no idea who u give ur crysantimun tooOriginally posted by angel7030:Please lah, what era already, still flower here and there. Today gal dun fancy flower one lah. Show money better ya, dun waste money on flower ok -
double post. paiseh
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Totally agreed. This is indeed a skewed example.Originally posted by walesa:This is obviously a skewed example and far from being applicable exhaustively to all cases.
But this is the sure way to protect your heart.
I'm not trying to behave like an expert in this but :
Only invest your time in a woman whom you are SURE is highly interested.
That is the best way to protect your heart.
IF she is willing to arrange a later time to meet up on that day - Yes, she is interested. Go.
If she counter offers another day - Yes, she is interested. Go.
If she asks you whether you are interested to join the party - Yes.
If she decides to go to the party (or decides to play hard to get) - Simply take it as no and put her on the backburner until you see some positive response.
Leave out the exceptions, her dog is sick, she needs to visit dentist, her friend is having a party...blah blah blah.
But at the end of the day, your analysis could be wrong.
It is possible that she is highly interested, but fails to make any kind of offer to you. So you missed out on one who potentially could be a good partner.
But the bottomline is this; you have not invested too much of your time and effort in her, move on to the next one.
I am not equipped to read her mind, I will pick definite signs that she is interested and go with that.
Exceptions complicate matters.
You will be left dwelling, not knowing whether to pull back or go for it.
Then again, the thread starter can choose to ignore this skewed example and simply ask her whether she's ready to date him.
My guess is she will say she's not ready.
And I believe the threadstarter will not give up just like that...
He has already invested pretty much in her (that's the problem when you fail to leave out exceptions and protect your heart).
He is probably reluctant to let go just like that. -
if both of u can sms interactively everyday, then probably she likes you too.
who would be so free to sms someone she sees 5 days a week every night? -
after she rej ur date cos got nest fren wedding? she go take the initiative to ask u out ma? if no, i feel 95% no chance
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Although my stance would pretty much mirror yours (in terms of dealing with the playing hard-to-get birds), the rationale behind my actions would actually be pretty much different from yours.Originally posted by curiousOrange:
Totally agreed. This is indeed a skewed example.But this is the sure way to protect your heart.
I'm not trying to behave like an expert in this but :
Only invest your time in a woman whom you are SURE is highly interested.
That is the best way to protect your heart. [/quote]
Now that you've further clarified your point, I somehow find it both much more perplexing and enlightening...
If you need to protect your heart, you'd be better off giving it a miss (at least in this particular instance, that'd apply). The imminent flaw in such logic (and women are every bit as guilty, if not more so, as men) stems from the fact both parties, even if they were mutually interested in each other, expect the other party to initiate something. That wouldn't exactly be love if you asked me.Originally posted by curiousOrange:
Now, I perfectly understand your point about the signs that constitute substantial interest. That said, it is equally important and imperative to note that most Asian women - as a matter of fact, it's an issue with the Asian culture more than anything specifically related to the dating game - would not actually take the initiative to suggest alternative arrangements even if she were interested in the bloke (there's no doubt this, to me, should very much be taken for granted as you suggested simply because it's basic courtesy to do so). In that sense, it's pretty hard to conclude the woman is not into the guy just because she doesn't take the initiative to propose an alternative arrangement, is it? Obviously, it's ultimately still down to the bloke to decide if this investment is worth his time.
IF she is willing to arrange a later time to meet up on that day - Yes, she is interested. Go.
If she counter offers another day - Yes, she is interested. Go.
If she asks you whether you are interested to join the party - Yes.
If she decides to go to the party (or decides to play hard to get) - Simply take it as no and put her on the backburner until you see some positive response.
Leave out the exceptions, her dog is sick, she needs to visit dentist, her friend is having a party...blah blah blah.
But at the end of the day, your analysis could be wrong.
It is possible that she is highly interested, but fails to make any kind of offer to you. So you missed out on one who potentially could be a good partner.
But the bottomline is this; you have not invested too much of your time and effort in her, move on to the next one.
I am not equipped to read her mind, I will pick definite signs that she is interested and go with that.
Exceptions complicate matters.
You will be left dwelling, not knowing whether to pull back or go for it.
[quote]Originally posted by curiousOrange:
Then again, the thread starter can choose to ignore this skewed example and simply ask her whether she's ready to date him.
My guess is she will say she's not ready.
And I believe the threadstarter will not give up just like that...
He has already invested pretty much in her (that's the problem when you fail to leave out exceptions and protect your heart).
He is probably reluctant to let go just like that.
If anything, it's the fact that such insecure women not being worth the hassle and time (ultimately, such behaviour does actually reveal glimpses of insecurity and passiveness which, IMO, would hinder the relationship at some point later on) that dictates someone in such a predicament should call a halt on proceedings, rather than actually doing so to protect one's heart. After all, I've yet to see any confident lass engaging in such mindless endeavours. -
I feel that she is the one for me already, cos i am usually a person who likes to observe a ger tat i like for some time and from a distance and usually i would not make the 1st move..... But this time i also dunno why i will make a move so fast and without much consideration... maybe the feeling is right..... I dun have past experience to rely on cos this is the 1st time i am doing this and i ask my friends around mi for advices.... Maybe you all might laugh at mi but i am already 25 and this is the 1st time i dare to do pursue a ger that i really like...... I would really wan to ask her if she likes mi or not but on the other hand, i am scare that she might reject mi.... I will not give up easily....
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go for it.....best of luckOriginally posted by daniu82:I feel that she is the one for me already, cos i am usually a person who likes to observe a ger tat i like for some time and from a distance and usually i would not make the 1st move..... But this time i also dunno why i will make a move so fast and without much consideration... maybe the feeling is right..... I dun have past experience to rely on cos this is the 1st time i am doing this and i ask my friends around mi for advices.... Maybe you all might laugh at mi but i am already 25 and this is the 1st time i dare to do pursue a ger that i really like...... I would really wan to ask her if she likes mi or not but on the other hand, i am scare that she might reject mi.... I will not give up easily....
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observe her actions.see her face,,,
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I admire your train of thoughts.Originally posted by walesa:Now that you've further clarified your point, I somehow find it both much more perplexing and enlightening...
If you need to protect your heart, you'd be better off giving it a miss (at least in this particular instance, that'd apply). The imminent flaw in such logic (and women are every bit as guilty, if not more so, as men) stems from the fact both parties, even if they were mutually interested in each other, expect the other party to initiate something. That wouldn't exactly be love if you asked me.
First of all, I will clarify that what IÂ’ve written so far has nothing to do with whether a guy should initiate or not.
A guy must do the initiation.
Not because of some romantic idea that if two people are mutually interested, things should flow naturally.
I guess IÂ’m not like you in that sense.
A guy does the initiation simply because he has the balls to do so.
When I write about leaving out exceptions and protecting your heart. It applies to the initial stage.
Your take is this; one should not be too afraid to jump in.
One should not be too afraid to love.
Love and trust should flow naturally when both parties are mutually attracted.
I would like you to pause for a moment and ponder about this:
On what basis do you love this woman?
On what basis do you trust this person?
The gradual establishment of trust and loyalty over time is vital in any relationship.
By sticking to rather stringent criterions in the initial stage, you have almost guaranteed yourself a woman with good potential to be accommodating in a relationship.
This will make your life much easier when you have to maintain the relationship if you are thinking of something long term.
Gradually, you will get to understand this person more.
ThatÂ’s when you allow exceptions to come in, when you find that you really have faith and trust her enough to do so.
Protecting yourself in the initial stage does not undermine the more mature form of love that will develop in the later stage.
I see where you are coming from as well.
It sounds calculated. It sounds mechanical.
It doesnÂ’t feel like love at the initial stage.
Love ought to be reckless, preferably with a nice tinge of pain involved.
But on the other hand, if you donÂ’t put yourself in the first place, no one will. -
Don't bother about people who thinks it's funny.Originally posted by daniu82:Maybe you all might laugh at mi but i am already 25 and this is the 1st time i dare to do pursue a ger that i really like...... I would really wan to ask her if she likes mi or not but on the other hand, i am scare that she might reject mi.... I will not give up easily....
I think you must ask her.
I'm only concerned about what you will do if she doesn't give you the reply you want.
Good luck. -
everytime she saw you she gave u a special smile
when you keep looking at her she became very shy and clumsie
when she tink u nt looking she smile secretly to herself and play wif her hair
when you touch her hand she can't resist