Damn frustrated and confused.
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My ex and I have been together for more than 2 years. We broke up yesterday and I was the one who initiated it. We have broken up a few times before but patched soon after and were back to being loveydovey.
I believe he still loves me because before the day we broke up, he told me he really loves me and when I asked where he expected this relationship to go, he said he wanted me to be his wife. I dont think feelings fade that easily? So I guess there's still chances for us to be together again, I still love him but I am really confused.
The break up was mainly resulted due to an incident last Sunday. Last Friday or something, he asked me to go to this party with him. And I knew that his friends will be there. I told him that my tuition ends at 3pm and I can meet him after that. On Saturday night, I msged and asked if he wanted me to go to the party, he said that he's scared that he wont accompany me. Still, he didnt answer my question. I msged again, asking him the same question but this time, there was no reply. As his handphone was prone to running out of battery easily and he was usually out till late at night, I didnt really bother.
Deep inside, I wanted to go. I couldnt sleep the whole night. Maybe because of the stress I received due to school work that made me want to go to a party that much. I was looking forward to it so much.
I msged him at about 11am the next morning, asking the same question again. No reply. Thought he might be sleeping. So yeah. I went for my tuition and even after it ended, there was no reply from him. Usually after my tuition, my Dad will fetch me home..But this time, because I thought I was meeting him, I told my Dad that he need not fetch me. After tuition, I slacked at Orchard alone. Called up a lot of friends but mostly were not free or had plans already. That added onto my frustration.
3.30pm. I called and he finally picked up the phone. He explained that he overslept and will go bath and leave the house now. I asked how long he would take, and he said, 'half an hour to bath and get ready. 45 minutes to get to Orchard'. I got really fed up, this wasnt the first time he overslept. And knowing him, it wouldnt take only half an hour for him to get ready. I told him to cab down because I didnt want to wait that long. I was alone at Orchard, damn it! Moreover, many questions ran past my mind at that time. Questions like, whether he knew that my tuition ended at 3pm but didnt bother. Apparently, I let my emotions got the better of me as I hurled vulgarities at him via sms. At first he was quite apologetic and I told him to stfu and go and bath. He told me that I can go and meet myself. In other words, we wont meet. It was 4pm by then.
I kind of regretted so I decided I should just wait for him. I msged giving him my reasons why I was really angry. His reply was cold, and nonchalent. He said that we could meet, but he will be taking train. Moreover, he wont be sending me home even if I went. I asked why. And his reply was, "If other people's gf can go home themselves, I dont see why you cant."
That fucking broke my heart.
The next few moments was spent on trying to make him say that he will send me home. In fact, I had asked my Dad to fetch me home. All I needed was for my him to say that he will send me home and when its time for me to go back, I will tell him that there's not a need to do so. But he didnt. I asked which was more important, the party or me. And he said the party.
(Btw, the party has something to do with his hobby.)
Damn depressing.
I continued waiting until about 5.45pm. I got really frustrated and asked where was he. He said he was at the party already. Instantaneously, I went, WTF? I had been waiting so long for him over there and yet he reached and didnt bother finding me? Then he told me to meet him at the party. I told him to come and find me. I gave him directions and also casually asked him to buy me a donut from the donut shop down the road, near to where I was.
He found me after searching for 10 minutes or so. I ate the donut he bought, and he offered me his drink. He asked if I wanted another one and I said no. I walked away and he followed behind me and slowly, we were walking together again. No words were exchanged. Then I dont know for what reason, he just walked off and went to the party himself.
Just then, my Dad called and asked if I was ready to go to my Uncle's place and I left the vicinity.
It seems like God planned everything.
For all he has done and said, I am really hurt. His insensitivity has disgusted me because he wasnt like this in the past. He knows that I cant accept his hobby and hopes that he would reduce doing it to spend more time with me but he just refuses to do so. Its not like I am totally stopping him from doing it what. He's a really nice guy when we are 'Okay' and I enjoy times spent with him. It has been a long time since we knew each other. We knew each other for months before getting together.
I was, and in fact still hurt that I so much want to hit him, punch him, kick him, slap him and cry in front of him.
But I know I will miss him. He says that I am too sensitive. Am I?
I dont mind getting flamed here. And I am kinda sure he will read this. So yeah. I just need help. -
You're acting really spoilt. His response are natural towards your behaviour.
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Dun initiate breakup unless you really mean it.
If it is only a mean of getting back to him, or making him feel bad about the whole thing, it may just backfired.
Judging from the whole scenario, my opinion is that, he thinks that it is no big deal, and after a short while, you guys will patch back again.
Just dun cry over spoilt milk if this breakup means forever. -
yea..im sorry but i agree with tat too...i have a ex whos like tat too...try apologizing to him sincerely n see wat he plans to do lo,afterall u have to give in order to take...or maybe it wasnt meant to be... good luck!Originally posted by LyonK:You're acting really spoilt. His response are natural towards your behaviour. -
well i guess u hurling abuse at him,guess it kinda hurt him alot..,well,wads done is done..u should have control on ur anger,there's no use hurling abuse,cos it will jus cos hurt to both u and him.u should have jus asked y he didn't reply tats all.but do u still love him??
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Yea. I thought I mentioned it already. Its just common for us to use vulgarities when we are angry. He uses it when he's angry too.Originally posted by myung:well i guess u hurling abuse at him,guess it kinda hurt him alot..,well,wads done is done..u should have control on ur anger,there's no use hurling abuse,cos it will jus cos hurt to both u and him.u should have jus asked y he didn't reply tats all.but do u still love him?? -
so demanding leh.
so da xiao jie.
even me, as a girl, also kan bu guo qu lor. -
Your ex-boyfriend is really not sensitive enough to catch the girl's hint. And he's attitude is really unacceptable! No bf will left his gf wait for Soooooooooo loong!
But but but... He bought donuts for you! That means there's hope for two of you!
Why not have a heart-to-heart talk with him. Tell him how you feel about this issue.
I believe it's definitely fate that bring two unique individual together. In a relationship, it's about understanding, communication and more caring towards each other.
2 cents worth w/o GST. -
The problem is we broke up already? I dont know when this heart-to-heart talk will come by. His stuff is still with me, I still have to meet him one day to return him. I told him how I feel before and he told me not to think of it. But I am damn hurt and he's not doing anything to save me.Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:Your ex-boyfriend is really not sensitive enough to catch the girl's hint. And he's attitude is really unacceptable! No bf will left his gf wait for Soooooooooo loong!
But but but... He bought donuts for you! That means there's hope for two of you! Why not have a heart-to-heart talk with him. Tell him how you feel about this issue.
I believe it's definitely fate that bring two unique individual together. In a relationship, it's about understanding, communication and more caring towards each other.
2 cents worth w/o GST. -
Its because I am damn hurt that I initiated the break up. He's really insensitive towards my feelings which hurt me even more. After breaking up, for yesterday and today, I felt so relieved. So burden-less. Although I still think of him while I was sleeping...I dont know. Maybe I will not have the crying days soon. But I will be missing out on the fun times as well.Originally posted by ILPSY:Dun initiate breakup unless you really mean it.
If it is only a mean of getting back to him, or making him feel bad about the whole thing, it may just backfired.
Judging from the whole scenario, my opinion is that, he thinks that it is no big deal, and after a short while, you guys will patch back again.
Just dun cry over spoilt milk if this breakup means forever. -
May I know how old you two are?
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why post relationship problems sure got people ask how old de ._.Originally posted by binarynwitz:May I know how old you two are? -
Cos they want to comfirm their prediction of yr's age!Originally posted by fgfm:why post relationship problems sure got people ask how old de ._.
Thru the incident and talk abt schooling.. More or less know what age group u belongs! -
aiyah u initiate it dhn now u regret.
hao ma bu chi hui tou cao.
i not hao ma. -
Frankly, different problems surface at different ages.Originally posted by fgfm:why post relationship problems sure got people ask how old de ._.
My guess is that both you and your bf/ex-bf are in between 17-20. -
Fgfm,
Girl, you will initiate the breakup.
But you don't take initiative in this relationship.
1. You could go to his house so both of you can go together to the party.
You don't need him to rush down to you just because you are lonely.
Instead of him taking a cab to orchard, you could have taken a cab to his home.
Since you so crave his companionship at that moment, it wouldn't matter even if he lives in Jurong and the party is in Orchard.
2. If you want to go to the party, you don't need his permission. Since you are his g/f, his friends are also your friends.
3. He has made it clear that his life is more important than you. Get it ?
4. After he has offered you food and drinks, you should have let the whole thing go, and take initiative to start a friendly conversation. Do you expect a man with some pride to tag behind you like a love lorn puppy dog ?
5. Please don't expect your bf to make you happy. You need to be happy yourself to make anyone happy.
6. Men are not telepatic. Don't expect them to read your mind.
7. After you hurled vulgarities at him, do you seriously expect him to be all nice and lovey with his replies to you? Geesh girl, if your boyfriend slap you, will you kiss him back ?
The sad part about your thoughts is, you may have enjoyed his company.
But have you ever asked yourself, does he enjoy your company ?
Are you the kind of person that is easy to get along with ?
You are not insensitive, you are just being self-centered.
Good luck to your next b/f. -
1.) As I mentioned before....There were times when we were supposed to meet but he overslept. I cabbed to his house before. I waited at his void deck for like 2 hours? My presense wasnt really much appreciated.Originally posted by jojobeach:Fgfm,
Girl, you will initiate the breakup.
But you don't take initiative in this relationship.
1. You could go to his house so both of you can go together to the party.
You don't need him to rush down to you just because you are lonely.
Instead of him taking a cab to orchard, you could have taken a cab to his home.
2. If you want to go to the party, you don't need his permission. Since you are his g/f, his friends are also your friends.
3. He has made it clear that his life is more important than you. Get it ?
4. After he has offered you food and drinks, you should have let the whole thing go, and take initiative to start a friendly conversation. Do you expect a man with some pride to tag behind you like a love lorn puppy dog ?
5. Please don't expect your bf to make you happy. You need to be happy yourself to make anyone happy.
6. Men are not telepatic. Don't expect them to read your mind.
7. After you hurled vulgarities at you, do you expect him to be all nice and lovey with his replies to you? Geesh girl, if your boyfriend slap you, will you kiss him back ?
The sad part about your thoughts is, you may have enjoyed his company.
But have you ever asked yourself, does he enjoy your company ?
Are you the kind of person that is easy to get along with ?
Good luck to your next b/f.
2.) I dont know how to put this. But his friends aint really mine.
3.) Maybe.
4.) He was using vulgarities throughout the previous smses while trying to find me.
5.) Thanks.
6.) If only they could.
7.) Well..When he's angry he does the same to me.
Last but not least. Yeah, maybe he doesnt enjoy my company. And he painstakingly stuck with me for more than 2 years. Maybe. -
Ok, sounds like this relationship ain't worth holding on.Originally posted by fgfm:1.) As I mentioned before....There were times when we were supposed to meet but he overslept. I cabbed to his house before. I waited at his void deck for like 2 hours? My presense wasnt really much appreciated.
2.) I dont know how to put this. But his friends aint really mine.
3.) Maybe.
4.) He was using vulgarities throughout the previous smses while trying to find me.
5.) Thanks.
6.) If only they could.
7.) Well..When he's angry he does the same to me.
Last but not least. Yeah, maybe he doesnt enjoy my company. And he painstakingly stuck with me for more than 2 years. Maybe.
Using vulgarities is verbal abuse. Good thing he isn't your husband.
Most abused wives usually tolerated their husbands past verbal abuse.
After marriage, verbal abuse turns into physical abuses.
My suggestion to you, is if a man starts using vulgarities on you, RUN.
And two wrongs does not make one right. OK?
2 years is nothing. So don't get too hung up on this number.
Look at it this way.
A relationship is a probationary period between two people.
Since both of you are incompatible, doesn't make sense to hang on to it just because you spend some time on it already.
Gotta cut your losses. -
hmm..
complicated.. i dunno, my opinion is that if i don't think i will be accompanying my gf at the party, i wouldn't invite her along, especially if she doesn't know anyone there.
but she might get angry about it also.
i see it as a lose lose situation la.. if the girlfriend easily lose temper type, then its pretty much good game.
but my opinion is not to invite her in the first place, saves so much trouble.
what do you think about my suggestion? -
Why do you want to control him?
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hmm, but really la. i think the boyfriend's first mistake was asking if the girlfriend wants to come along. if he knew that he won't be able to spend time with her.
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Sure seems like a fool proof plan.Originally posted by dumbdumb!:hmm..
complicated.. i dunno, my opinion is that if i don't think i will be accompanying my gf at the party, i wouldn't invite her along, especially if she doesn't know anyone there.
but she might get angry about it also.
i see it as a lose lose situation la.. if the girlfriend easily lose temper type, then its pretty much good game.
but my opinion is not to invite her in the first place, saves so much trouble.
what do you think about my suggestion?
But hor, why issit that you couldn't introduce your friends to her ?
So that she may know SOMEone there to have a good time at the party with you ?
It's not really a lose lose situation, more like a loser boyfriend situation. -
yeah, it would work if the girlfriend's the friendly and sociable type.Originally posted by jojobeach:Sure seems like a fool proof plan.
But hor, why issit that you couldn't introduce your friends to her ?
So that she may know SOMEone there to have a good time at the party with you ?
It's not really a lose lose situation, more like a loser boyfriend situation.
but the question is.... is she? -
nvm , u can always come n find me .
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I have to admit you are one of the most insensitive types.Originally posted by fgfm:My ex and I have been together for more than 2 years. We broke up yesterday and I was the one who initiated it. We have broken up a few times before but patched soon after and were back to being loveydovey.
I believe he still loves me because before the day we broke up, he told me he really loves me and when I asked where he expected this relationship to go, he said he wanted me to be his wife. I dont think feelings fade that easily? So I guess there's still chances for us to be together again, I still love him but I am really confused.
The break up was mainly resulted due to an incident last Sunday. Last Friday or something, he asked me to go to this party with him. And I knew that his friends will be there. I told him that my tuition ends at 3pm and I can meet him after that. On Saturday night, I msged and asked if he wanted me to go to the party, he said that he's scared that he wont accompany me. Still, he didnt answer my question. I msged again, asking him the same question but this time, there was no reply. As his handphone was prone to running out of battery easily and he was usually out till late at night, I didnt really bother.
Deep inside, I wanted to go. I couldnt sleep the whole night. Maybe because of the stress I received due to school work that made me want to go to a party that much. I was looking forward to it so much.
I msged him at about 11am the next morning, asking the same question again. No reply. Thought he might be sleeping. So yeah. I went for my tuition and even after it ended, there was no reply from him. Usually after my tuition, my Dad will fetch me home..But this time, because I thought I was meeting him, I told my Dad that he need not fetch me. After tuition, I slacked at Orchard alone. Called up a lot of friends but mostly were not free or had plans already. That added onto my frustration.
3.30pm. I called and he finally picked up the phone. He explained that he overslept and will go bath and leave the house now. I asked how long he would take, and he said, 'half an hour to bath and get ready. 45 minutes to get to Orchard'. I got really fed up, this wasnt the first time he overslept. And knowing him, it wouldnt take only half an hour for him to get ready. I told him to cab down because I didnt want to wait that long. I was alone at Orchard, damn it! Moreover, many questions ran past my mind at that time. Questions like, whether he knew that my tuition ended at 3pm but didnt bother. Apparently, I let my emotions got the better of me as I hurled vulgarities at him via sms. At first he was quite apologetic and I told him to stfu and go and bath. He told me that I can go and meet myself. In other words, we wont meet. It was 4pm by then.
I kind of regretted so I decided I should just wait for him. I msged giving him my reasons why I was really angry. His reply was cold, and nonchalent. He said that we could meet, but he will be taking train. Moreover, he wont be sending me home even if I went. I asked why. And his reply was, "If other people's gf can go home themselves, I dont see why you cant."
That fucking broke my heart.
The next few moments was spent on trying to make him say that he will send me home. In fact, I had asked my Dad to fetch me home. All I needed was for my him to say that he will send me home and when its time for me to go back, I will tell him that there's not a need to do so. But he didnt. I asked which was more important, the party or me. And he said the party.
(Btw, the party has something to do with his hobby.)
Damn depressing.
I continued waiting until about 5.45pm. I got really frustrated and asked where was he. He said he was at the party already. Instantaneously, I went, WTF? I had been waiting so long for him over there and yet he reached and didnt bother finding me? Then he told me to meet him at the party. I told him to come and find me. I gave him directions and also casually asked him to buy me a donut from the donut shop down the road, near to where I was.
He found me after searching for 10 minutes or so. I ate the donut he bought, and he offered me his drink. He asked if I wanted another one and I said no. I walked away and he followed behind me and slowly, we were walking together again. No words were exchanged. Then I dont know for what reason, he just walked off and went to the party himself.
Just then, my Dad called and asked if I was ready to go to my Uncle's place and I left the vicinity.
It seems like God planned everything.
For all he has done and said, I am really hurt. His insensitivity has disgusted me because he wasnt like this in the past. He knows that I cant accept his hobby and hopes that he would reduce doing it to spend more time with me but he just refuses to do so. Its not like I am totally stopping him from doing it what. He's a really nice guy when we are 'Okay' and I enjoy times spent with him. It has been a long time since we knew each other. We knew each other for months before getting together.
I was, and in fact still hurt that I so much want to hit him, punch him, kick him, slap him and cry in front of him.
But I know I will miss him. He says that I am too insensitive. Am I?
I dont mind getting flamed here. And I am kinda sure he will read this. So yeah. I just need help.
You are the types who expect guys to treat you like a princess and you treat them like a dog.
seen so many of your types around and I always advice guys to stay away from girls like you.
Sadly your bf do not seems like a real man at all, kena f by gf still treat you so well.
One word of advice for you, better change your ways. people give face to gals who are young and pretty, once you are old or turn ugly, people will hack care about you. Tell you to f off.
To the bf of this girl who maybe reading this :
Dump this gal asap. No point going out with her cos she treats you like trash. Keep saying she loves you but her actions only shows that she treats a dog better than you. They are many other gals who are better looking and treats you with much more respect.