help me win her back.
-
Never. Not once. But I did something worst ... the worst thing that a bf can do ... I made threats to break up, although I didn't mean them, I never did back off - so much pride you know, and when we settled because it always went back to being all happy and loveydovey again, I nver stopped to think eh hang on, she's giving in to me ...Originally posted by jojobeach:Did you hit her ?
That's why yiha093 you're right when you said she gave me alot of chances. I merely thought I had "won", I use the word "won" because she always made sense, and I didn't - she was always right; i knew she was right but didn't admit it, so when I finally had my way ... I "won".
But when everything just jumps back from being bad to good, you don't stop to see that it's a chance you are given ... it's like ... when a healthy man is dying, and he doesn't know that he is dying, his sudden revitalisation would in his head only be "normal, because that's how it was, and how it used to be". But now that this has happened, I finally see ... back then, I really had no idea ... how do you correct a problem that you don't know exists? But now I do, I really want to fix that, and mend everything, not just mend it back to the way it used to be, but to change it so everything is finally right.
The thing is, she keeps saying I've given you alot of chances, I give up. But I can't get her to see that I really didn't know ... I really really didn't know ... that's why i said, I'm a guy, emotionally retarded, you don't shove it in my face, i don't see ... but now I see ... and I want one chance, just one chance ..
It's not as if this relationship deteriorated over time ... this was a sudden bad argument ... but so bad it caused her to snap ... It hurts so much you know ... being in this house we chose together, surrounded by everything that's hers and mine ... i go into the bathroom every morning and see the 2 toothbrushes there in the cute little cupy things that she bought (1 for me and 1 for her) ... i just break down ... everynight i cry myself to sleep just lying in that bed ... that when she was around was too small, but now that she's gone too big
I'm not a crying kinda guy, have always been strong in mostly every aspect - ... but it hurts so much ... the tears just flow ... just typing this msg it just comes down
my biggest fear is that she's forgetting ... that 4 years ... we quarreled 10%, but what about the 90% of the purely happy and great days ... i just want a chance, one chance to show her i can make that 100%. -
i don't know if it's alot to ask but can anyone add me on msn ... [email protected] ... ??
Just so I can feel like someone is here ... I'm alone in this house we chose, surrounded by our things and it's so painful ... I don't have much of a social life, do have alot of colleagues, but I cannot possibly let them know ... I mean that would totally destroy my rep and eventually my career which I put so much effort into building ... and I don't want to turn to my family ... because I don't want them to worry, which I know they will to no end, and the last thing I want them to see, is me breaking down - my family is really proud of me, I don't want to let them see me go to waste -
Wad are u doing... don put the guy down...
don put him down... listen... let it swirl in around ur head...
don jus tell him to let go if he does he wont even wanna type this in the first place.
I say, this is a good chance for u to reflect urself on the relationship... dun just give up like that and dun even ask him to give up.
wad u gotta lose? just give it ur best shot. u been with her 4 yrs.. so u urself know wad to do... 4 yrs is not a short time. go get her back. use everything u can do from the 4 yrs of ur girl's education with u to get her back.
if u dun, keep trying but do not overdo it. let her know u really wan her.
be patient and good luck!
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erm , my fren.. i guess u think too much... how this and that..
want her back.. be patience and just do it.. u dun have to make ur heart hurt again to think tha past
DO whats best for you, just follow your heart.. and tehres no need to turn the prob to anyone u know cuz their response will be similir to us.. and they couldnt help u much except pitying you -
thsts as good as not sayinh anythingOriginally posted by browniebaobao:when a girl is determined to leave, there's nothing u can stop her
bcos she must have thought over it again and again, and it takes a lot of courage to break with someone u love.
maybe u made her feel hopeless. i have no idea.
but i would suggest, for the time being, leave her alone.
If u two were meant to be, I believe u two will be together again.
-
I'm sorry - time is just passing so slowly, and it's very painful. With only her on my mind, I really cannot focus .. not one bit .. go out drive, hit my car .. can't do work .. everything is naught.Originally posted by Zarks:erm , my fren.. i guess u think too much... how this and that..
want her back.. be patience and just do it.. u dun have to make ur heart hurt again to think tha past
DO whats best for you, just follow your heart.. and tehres no need to turn the prob to anyone u know cuz their response will be similir to us.. and they couldnt help u much except pitying you -
In a couple's argument.Originally posted by sgx088:Never. Not once. But I did something worst ... the worst thing that a bf can do ... I made threats to break up, although I didn't mean them, I never did back off - so much pride you know, and when we settled because it always went back to being all happy and loveydovey again, I nver stopped to think eh hang on, she's giving in to me ...
That's why yiha093 you're right when you said she gave me alot of chances. I merely thought I had "won", I use the word "won" because she always made sense, and I didn't - she was always right; i knew she was right but didn't admit it, so when I finally had my way ... I "won".
But when everything just jumps back from being bad to good, you don't stop to see that it's a chance you are given ... it's like ... when a healthy man is dying, and he doesn't know that he is dying, his sudden revitalisation would in his head only be "normal, because that's how it was, and how it used to be". But now that this has happened, I finally see ... back then, I really had no idea ... how do you correct a problem that you don't know exists? But now I do, I really want to fix that, and mend everything, not just mend it back to the way it used to be, but to change it so everything is finally right.
The thing is, she keeps saying I've given you alot of chances, I give up. But I can't get her to see that I really didn't know ... I really really didn't know ... that's why i said, I'm a guy, emotionally retarded, you don't shove it in my face, i don't see ... but now I see ... and I want one chance, just one chance ..
It's not as if this relationship deteriorated over time ... this was a sudden bad argument ... but so bad it caused her to snap ... It hurts so much you know ... being in this house we chose together, surrounded by everything that's hers and mine ... i go into the bathroom every morning and see the 2 toothbrushes there in the cute little cupy things that she bought (1 for me and 1 for her) ... i just break down ... everynight i cry myself to sleep just lying in that bed ... that when she was around was too small, but now that she's gone too big
I'm not a crying kinda guy, have always been strong in mostly every aspect - ... but it hurts so much ... the tears just flow ... just typing this msg it just comes down
my biggest fear is that she's forgetting ... that 4 years ... we quarreled 10%, but what about the 90% of the purely happy and great days ... i just want a chance, one chance to show her i can make that 100%.
The biggest loser is the one who insist on winning.
You may have got your way, but every time, you lose a little bit of her.
I believe it is not too late for you to realized you have taken her kindness for granted.
You need to let her know what you have posted in your first post.
Write her a letter, she needs to know you have repented.
Send her yellow rose AND tell her you are sorry for the next 2 weeks.
Tell her you realized how important she is in your life.
Women wants to be validated, we want to know we are not dispensable ( shallow as it may sound, but it is true). Give in to her fantasy this time.
Just because you have done many good, does not justify the one bad you did to her.
Women and men uses different credit scoring system.
1 good and 1 bad credit per event is how men does it.
1 good and 5 bad credit per even is how women scores their men.
Ask her to come back again.
Promise her you will respect her personal space. Tell her, you just want her presence again.
You may not be the crying kind of guy, but as a last resort, shedding a tear or two may bring you a miracle. Your woman is soft hearted, else she wouldn't have tolerated your nonsense for 4 years.
If she agrees to come back, don't expect things to go back to lovey dovey immediately, give her time. She may give you the cold shoulder, don't worry, she is healing, so must you.
Don't try to get intimate with her, when she is ready, she will drop hints.
You can do this. -
that is why ppl always say... zhen xi yan qian ren...
-
As usual,most people here are giving u adivce to your doom.
And again u are another clingy guy.
Tell her ur sorry and u want her to give another though and that u will change.
After that,whatever the outcome is,get up and get over what has happened. -
To TS: I don't recommend this. Doing the above will make her hate you more. seriously. I think what you can do is leave her alone for a few weeks and see how. But the chance is not high as how you describe it, she seem like already really give up on you.Originally posted by mancha:Persistence will win the day.
Just keep on wooing her.
Do all the silly things you can think of.
Don't let up.
Camp at her place.
Send flowers.
Sing to her.
Chocolates, presents etc
Tell her you learnt your lesson.
Melt her heart.
Use her friends, relations etc
But exercise moderation, and not be a nuisance.
Just be persistent, thats all.
She'll come around. -
"don't have much of a social life, do have alot of colleagues, but I cannot possibly let them know ... I mean that would totally destroy my rep and eventually my career which I put so much effort into building "Originally posted by sgx088:i don't know if it's alot to ask but can anyone add me on msn ... [email protected] ... ??
Just so I can feel like someone is here ... I'm alone in this house we chose, surrounded by our things and it's so painful ... I don't have much of a social life, do have alot of colleagues, but I cannot possibly let them know ... I mean that would totally destroy my rep and eventually my career which I put so much effort into building ... and I don't want to turn to my family ... because I don't want them to worry, which I know they will to no end, and the last thing I want them to see, is me breaking down - my family is really proud of me, I don't want to let them see me go to waste
looking at the above statement only shows me one thing.
You are too proud of yourself.
Leave your MCP behind. -
I fully agree with Bao Bao.Originally posted by browniebaobao:when a girl is determined to leave, there's nothing u can stop her
bcos she must have thought over it again and again, and it takes a lot of courage to break with someone u love.
maybe u made her feel hopeless. i have no idea.
but i would suggest, for the time being, leave her alone.
If u two were meant to be, I believe u two will be together again.
Why ?
I was in the TS ex position before.
Mine was worst I got 9 years of give in to my gf before i gave up. -
you are still too young to understand what baobao have posted.Originally posted by yiha093:thsts as good as not sayinh anything
Go through a few more rounds of relationships and you will see the light.
No point saying so much cos you will need to feel it in order to understand. -
it's something ginna like u will not understand.Originally posted by yiha093:thsts as good as not sayinh anything -
DudeOriginally posted by sgx088:been together for 4 years; the best times of our lives were had together. i never knew she was under so much stress .. each time we quarreled, i thought we made up, and that was it .. reflecting back, i should have been aware it was her giving in to me.
had our biggest fight just a couple days back but it was over the most silly of issues (really it's not worth mentioning) .. we've always been faithful to each other; no flaws - no money issues or distractions either .. but the problem came from my attitude and temper .. i now realise what a mcp i must have been, never knowing when to back down .. pride .. she says that's it, she snapped, and she doesn't want to continue anymore. she said it's a break up. and asked me not to contact her ever again ... just days before we were still so intimate, now when i touch her she goes berserk ... 360degrees change in character ... i've never seen such eyes
being a guy, and emotionally retarded, i hounded her for days, making her hate me more ... to her friends, i must be public enemy no. 1 because none of them are speaking to me either. and she says her friends supported her in her decision - but i spoke to her best friend (who i now realise may well be her former best friend ... now that's she got a whole bunch of new friends), and her sister - none of them were told anything
i don't want this to end. i want to win her back. how? i'm just worried, after these weeks, she's only going to be firmer in her decision. i just want her to see all the good times we had, so many ... that outweighed all the bad times ... the laughter that filled our house, before we slept, when we woke up next to each other, hugging each other and smiling to sleep, even when fighting over bed space. through our worse times, we were there holding each other, thinking about the kids we would have, the kind of life we'd like ...
... i just cannot focus ... not on work ... got into a car accident, minor ... panel damage ... gone back to smoking ...
how can i win her back? to just ask her for a chance, to let me change ... i tried explaining to her i really didn't know, because i really didn't - if i did, i would have changed becuase i cannot stand hurting her ... but she keeps saying that i should have realised earlier on but i'm a guy, the species famous for being insensitive and dense
if i really leave her alone for weeks ... will that only strengthen her resolve to go?
she was just giving u BS excuses to break up with you, get it?
If she wants to go let her go. This shows she was never meant to be with.
Forget her, period.
doko -
Give her time out and then KNEEL in front of her with a dozen of roses....Originally posted by sgx088:been together for 4 years; the best times of our lives were had together. i never knew she was under so much stress .. each time we quarreled, i thought we made up, and that was it .. reflecting back, i should have been aware it was her giving in to me.
had our biggest fight just a couple days back but it was over the most silly of issues (really it's not worth mentioning) .. we've always been faithful to each other; no flaws - no money issues or distractions either .. but the problem came from my attitude and temper .. i now realise what a mcp i must have been, never knowing when to back down .. pride .. she says that's it, she snapped, and she doesn't want to continue anymore. she said it's a break up. and asked me not to contact her ever again ... just days before we were still so intimate, now when i touch her she goes berserk ... 360degrees change in character ... i've never seen such eyes
being a guy, and emotionally retarded, i hounded her for days, making her hate me more ... to her friends, i must be public enemy no. 1 because none of them are speaking to me either. and she says her friends supported her in her decision - but i spoke to her best friend (who i now realise may well be her former best friend ... now that's she got a whole bunch of new friends), and her sister - none of them were told anything
i don't want this to end. i want to win her back. how? i'm just worried, after these weeks, she's only going to be firmer in her decision. i just want her to see all the good times we had, so many ... that outweighed all the bad times ... the laughter that filled our house, before we slept, when we woke up next to each other, hugging each other and smiling to sleep, even when fighting over bed space. through our worse times, we were there holding each other, thinking about the kids we would have, the kind of life we'd like ...
... i just cannot focus ... not on work ... got into a car accident, minor ... panel damage ... gone back to smoking ...
how can i win her back? to just ask her for a chance, to let me change ... i tried explaining to her i really didn't know, because i really didn't - if i did, i would have changed becuase i cannot stand hurting her ... but she keeps saying that i should have realised earlier on but i'm a guy, the species famous for being insensitive and dense
if i really leave her alone for weeks ... will that only strengthen her resolve to go?
KNEEL to seek her forgiveness
KNEEL to prove yr determination to quash yr atttitude and temper
KNEEL to prove yr means to change of yr MCP character and lower yr pride for her
KNEEL to punish yrself for giving her so much stress and piss her off so much
with yr male ego during the 4 yrs.
Basically u are too much of MCP ,pride and ego. Kneeing for a guy like u might be too much but is good to check yr overloaded ego. Nex time talk with her with senses and not ego,ok? -
I'm laughing.
This guy,like me is a Mcp.
But unlike me,your a wussy.
Whats the point of having so much ego but going beresk when your partner forsake u?
U are cont ridicting yourself. -
I have read your post and I find that she must have just snapped during the 4 years. She just can't stand you anymore before she dropped this bombshell. In her head, it's like enough is enough.
She must leave.
I don't know what you did or said that made her feel that way or how you managed to chase her. Fact is, there is something you did or said or it's part of your character that made her feel this way. Maybe she compared with other guys and felt there's better choice..but the most important thing that matters is that she has left you. Maybe she realised that there is something in your character that she realised isn't working for her...
This means that you are single and free to do things you like and want. And you get to chase another girl again.
The problem with girls is that they give ambiguous answers that leave you feeling more confused as evident in female posters in forums. Not all, I would like to say. So when you still don't know why you are suddenly alone, Im really not surprised. Some female posters will give you answers that leaves you feeling more frustrated. This is their language.
Im sorry but girls behave this way. Once they say goodbye, it often means forever. Worse is, you actually begged her to come back to you. You just nailed yourself further into the coffin of relationships. Don't worry, your case is not isolated. Many guys share the same problems with you. If they can get through this, I don't see why you cannot.
doko -
Originally posted by CannyOng:
it's 'kneel', not 'knee'
Give her time out and then [b]KNEE in front of her with a dozen of roses....
KNEE to seek her forgiveness
KNEE to prove yr determination to quash yr atttitude and temper
KNEE to prove yr means to change of yr MCP character and lower yr pride for her
KNEE to punish yrself for giving her so much stress and piss her off so much
with yr male ego during the 4 yrs.
Basically u are too much of MCP ,pride and ego. Kneeing for a guy like u might be too much but is good to check yr overloaded ego. Nex time talk with her with senses and not ego,ok?[/b]
nan er xi xia you huang jin..
i wun encourage kneeling. -
exactly...this means his inner self is weak although he tries to project a stronger exterior.Originally posted by boka:I'm laughing.
This guy,like me is a Mcp.
But unlike me,your a wussy.
Whats the point of having so much ego but going beresk when your partner forsake u?
U are cont ridicting yourself.
It's like a snail whose shell snaps easily leaving its soft core exposed.
doko -
Thought i'm MCP,i made it to the extreme instead of being delee dally.Originally posted by dokono:exactly...this means his inner self is weak although he tries to project a stronger exterior.
It's like a snail whose shell snaps easily leaving its soft core exposed.
doko
I make sure that i will not forskae my pride for anything.
Doesn;t it bring u back to sqaure 1 if your going to regret your actions? -
Haha.. Sorry for wrong english.Originally posted by browniebaobao:it's 'kneel', not 'knee'
nan er xi xia you huang jin..
i wun encourage kneeling. -
You just need to be as tough as what you look outside. If a breakup can expose your weakness inside, then you are still weak ba.Originally posted by boka:Thought i'm MCP,i made it to the extreme instead of being delee dally.
I make sure that i will not forskae my pride for anything.
Doesn;t it bring u back to sqaure 1 if your going to regret your actions?
doko -
I don't know how serious his MCP attitude is except from his posting. Since he admit it is a problem and even a core of their r/s problem..Originally posted by boka:Thought i'm MCP,i made it to the extreme instead of being delee dally.
I make sure that i will not forskae my pride for anything.
Doesn;t it bring u back to sqaure 1 if your going to regret your actions?
A guy pride and being MCP is totally different thing.
It's good for guys to hold on yr pride but not over done it ,becoming a neagtive way and hurt yr partner.
What is kneeling compare the MCP attitude he displays to her partner over the years and causes so much pain? His gf is so determined to leave him demonstrate the hurt lvl he has causes.. I bet she gives up on him and one detemine way to prove the real changes of TS bringning down his overloaded pride for his gf is to kneel. SOmething dramatic and may melt down her detetmination of leaving him. At the same time,I hope TS really determine to changes yr MCP and hopefully treat yr gf well. No more last chance after that... -
How do u define negative?Originally posted by CannyOng:I don't know how serious his MCP attitude is except from his posting. Since he admit it is a problem and even a core of their r/s problem..
A guy pride and being MCP is totally different thing.
It's good for guys to hold on yr pride but not over done it ,becoming a neagtive way and hurt yr partner.
What is kneeling compare the MCP attitude he displays to her partner over the years and causes so much pain? His gf is so determined to leave him demonstrate the hurt lvl he has causes.. I bet she gives up on him and one detemine way to prove the real changes of TS bringning down his overloaded pride for his gf is to kneel. SOmething dramatic and may melt down her detetmination of leaving him. At the same time,I hope TS really determine to changes yr MCP and hopefully treat yr gf well. No more last chance after that...
If i'm in the wrong in any occasion,i'll apologise but if the other party is in the wrong,then my pride says i'm in control and i let the wrong no room to manuever.