help me win her back.
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LOL when did it became a game of DOTAOriginally posted by DjMatrix:just on godstrength+mask of madness+bkb and jus chiong!
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djmatrix is too obsessed with DotA,, wanna fight me in DotA ??
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Dear all,
Although it has only been a few days, my eyes/ears near her tell me that she has nothing nice to say about me (and quite rightfully, afterall it was my fault and I caused her much hurt over time), and that she has already moved on, and is very happy. Putting this together with the guy incident (I stress again, I completely have faith in that he was just consoling her) ... I am slowly beginning to find myself feeling, and accepting that she has changed - that she has changed from being the girl I knew, and loved, to someone completely different.
As a result, I find myself moving on.
I started this thread because of my stress from the sudden and unexpected breakup, which was also the reason behind me being so hung up for her .. because i was still in love with the old her - I mean we came close to mutual breakup before, and had we gone through with it, I probably wouldn't have reacted in the way I did ...
But now that she's changed so much ... I find myself moving on surprisingly easily ... I mean it sure hurts still because I know she's never going to come back, but ironically, for the same reason that I know she's never going to come back no matter what I do ... the pain is going away at an exponential rate.
In 6 months ... no, maybe earlier, ... we might talk ... and who knows what's going to happen? For all I know maybe she has not changed, .. but for now, I feel like I might end up apologising, and wishing her the best, and hoping that one day she finds happiness with a guy who truly deserves and appreciates her.
I would most likely walk away crying, but I'd walk away free of chains. -
Dun cry, a man must not cry. You have honoured yr mistake and in gentlemenship, you apologised to her sincerely wishing her all the best. Whatever lies ahead is a total different scenarios, you may find your true love one again and by then when you look back at this present love breakup, you would just smile at it and said, that is my life.Originally posted by sgx088:Dear all,
Although it has only been a few days, my eyes/ears near her tell me that she has nothing nice to say about me (and quite rightfully, afterall it was my fault and I caused her much hurt over time), and that she has already moved on, and is very happy. Putting this together with the guy incident (I stress again, I completely have faith in that he was just consoling her) ... I am slowly beginning to find myself feeling, and accepting that she has changed - that she has changed from being the girl I knew, and loved, to someone completely different.
As a result, I find myself moving on.
I started this thread because of my stress from the sudden and unexpected breakup, which was also the reason behind me being so hung up for her .. because i was still in love with the old her - I mean we came close to mutual breakup before, and had we gone through with it, I probably wouldn't have reacted in the way I did ...
But now that she's changed so much ... I find myself moving on surprisingly easily ... I mean it sure hurts still because I know she's never going to come back, but ironically, for the same reason that I know she's never going to come back no matter what I do ... the pain is going away at an exponential rate.
In 6 months ... no, maybe earlier, ... we might talk ... and who knows what's going to happen? For all I know maybe she has not changed, .. but for now, I feel like I might end up apologising, and wishing her the best, and hoping that one day she finds happiness with a guy who truly deserves and appreciates her.
I would most likely walk away crying, but I'd walk away free of chains.
Yo dude, See u around the Stock exchange ya -
Listen to me threadstarter, please do not waste your time on her again.
In time to come, you will realise all these suffering amounts to nothing and please: do not wallow in self-pity.
Do you think she really cares so much about how you feel ? I bet she's having a good time making out with that guy.
Please concentrate on finding your strength again.
doko -
True.. ppl can change in a very short period.. like meOriginally posted by angel7030:Dun cry, a man must not cry. You have honoured yr mistake and in gentlemenship, you apologised to her sincerely wishing her all the best. Whatever lies ahead is a total different scenarios, you may find your true love one again and by then when you look back at this present love breakup, you would just smile at it and said, that is my life.
Yo dude, See u around the Stock exchange ya
I've become some1 so serious but previously im like a cute guy considering on how ppl might get hurt if i do this and that.. how foolish..
Heart's bleeding is often hard to heal.. just take time till the tissue around it heal slowly..
apologised once enough liou.. dun have to repeart 100 times.. cuz it wil be the same sory and guilt -
instead of keep to think bout her.. try to read some books on how to improve yourself.. then u will feel better on how to improve yourself on something and during that reading and understanding, you will not remember her that much ..
We are only humans, but we are given brain to make things right.. we all support you here but its up to you to move on,,, cuz we are only "voices" here and your the "body" -
Read what book?? the bible or sutras?Originally posted by Zarks:instead of keep to think bout her.. try to read some books on how to improve yourself.. then u will feel better on how to improve yourself on something and during that reading and understanding, you will not remember her that much ..
We are only humans, but we are given brain to make things right.. we all support you here but its up to you to move on,,, cuz we are only "voices" here and your the "body" -
Um, i read a book titled " Thick Face,Black Heart"Originally posted by angel7030:Read what book?? the bible or sutras?
Instantly changed to different person after reading half way, kinda make me realised something lo -
Once we learn to accept things, we start to move on easily.Originally posted by sgx088:Dear all,
Although it has only been a few days, my eyes/ears near her tell me that she has nothing nice to say about me (and quite rightfully, afterall it was my fault and I caused her much hurt over time), and that she has already moved on, and is very happy. Putting this together with the guy incident (I stress again, I completely have faith in that he was just consoling her) ... I am slowly beginning to find myself feeling, and accepting that she has changed - that she has changed from being the girl I knew, and loved, to someone completely different.
As a result, I find myself moving on.
I started this thread because of my stress from the sudden and unexpected breakup, which was also the reason behind me being so hung up for her .. because i was still in love with the old her - I mean we came close to mutual breakup before, and had we gone through with it, I probably wouldn't have reacted in the way I did ...
But now that she's changed so much ... I find myself moving on surprisingly easily ... I mean it sure hurts still because I know she's never going to come back, but ironically, for the same reason that I know she's never going to come back no matter what I do ... the pain is going away at an exponential rate.
In 6 months ... no, maybe earlier, ... we might talk ... and who knows what's going to happen? For all I know maybe she has not changed, .. but for now, I feel like I might end up apologising, and wishing her the best, and hoping that one day she finds happiness with a guy who truly deserves and appreciates her.
I would most likely walk away crying, but I'd walk away free of chains.
Things will turn out better for both of you eventually.
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Originally posted by sgx088:
TS,
Dear all,
Although it has only been a few days, my eyes/ears near her tell me that she has nothing nice to say about me (and quite rightfully, afterall it was my fault and I caused her much hurt over time), and that she has already moved on, and is very happy. Putting this together with the guy incident (I stress again, I completely have faith in that he was just consoling her) ... I am slowly beginning to find myself feeling, and accepting that she has changed - that she has changed from being the girl I knew, and loved, to someone completely different.
As a result, I find myself moving on.
I started this thread because of my stress from the sudden and unexpected breakup, which was also the reason behind me being so hung up for her .. because i was still in love with the old her - I mean we came close to mutual breakup before, and had we gone through with it, I probably wouldn't have reacted in the way I did ...
But now that she's changed so much ... I find myself moving on surprisingly easily ... I mean it sure hurts still because I know she's never going to come back, but ironically, for the same reason that I know she's never going to come back no matter what I do ... the pain is going away at an exponential rate.
In 6 months ... no, maybe earlier, ... we might talk ... and who knows what's going to happen? For all I know maybe she has not changed, .. but for now, I feel like I might end up apologising, and wishing her the best, and hoping that one day she finds happiness with a guy who truly deserves and appreciates her.
I would most likely walk away crying, but I'd walk away free of chains.
I am somewhat surprised to hear you say the things in bold.
Sure, I agree with you that the feelings of people do change. If somebody treats us well, we like them. If they kick us in the ass, we don't.
It's good that you can find the inner peace to move on, and I'm glad your pain is subsiding at an exponential rate,
but it sounds rather MCP to not love the girl just because she is no longer in love with you, without fully acknowledging the reasons behind it.
Knowing you're at fault doesn't necessarily mean you want to take full responsibility for that. And the fact that you're healing exponentially fast may mean you have not fully learnt the lessons behind it.
Actually, we guys usually have lots of pride, and if I lost a girl I really love, I may lack the courage and the humility to truly recover the lost trust and love. Moving on is perhaps better.
Alright, all in all, I'm happy you're recovering, but your love for her may be somewhat shallower than what I had imagined (since you missed the old love she has for you, rather than her, the person), and it might be the best solution for everyone because like you said, she's happier without you.
Take care, pal.. -
That book teaches you to be selfish and uncaring, in the shallow justification that others are going to do the same to you.Originally posted by Zarks:Um, i read a book titled " Thick Face,Black Heart"
Instantly changed to different person after reading half way, kinda make me realised something lo
It's a book I recommend people NOT read.
I've read it 10 years ago, and I can't believe it's still on the shelves today.
Do you really want to look as stressed and "bin chao chao" as the lady author on the back cover?
Drop tat book, pal. -
U clearly dont understand what is really Thick Face,Black Heart..Originally posted by ordinaryguy32:That book teaches you to be selfish and uncaring, in the shallow justification that others are going to do the same to you.
It's a book I recommend people NOT read.
I've read it 10 years ago, and I can't believe it's still on the shelves today.
Do you really want to look as stressed and "bin chao chao" as the lady author on the back cover?
Drop tat book, pal.
You can either choose to be evil or a good one with that concept..
This book teaches ppl on how to focus on your dream ignoring ppl's critism and to get the goal of your dream at all cost.,, i personally think this is a good book... some ppl bcuz of the sake of some1 or something , they wont go for their goal which i thk ppl shud really strive for their goal.
Practicing this concept doesnt mean u have to bin chao chao..
GOsh i suggest u re-read this book, u clearly dun understand what its really about... and not to say teaches u to be selfish, it actually teaches you to just focus on your work or watever u want to do instead of helping ppl or do other stuff cuz of your so-called kind attitude that your mom always teach u...
THere are times when you can help ,but priority is the things that you want to do and you ahve to ignore something or you wont be able to do it in time...
Well, just different opinion, ppl can try and read it.. read it first time u might misunderstand the concept... -
I think you dont even know what is the meaning of Thick Face and Black Heart.. can explain ?
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Yes, I agree I may have forgotten many details, and perhaps I should read it again.Originally posted by Zarks:U clearly dont understand what is really Thick Face,Black Heart..
You can either choose to be evil or a good one with that concept..
This book teaches ppl on how to focus on your dream ignoring ppl's critism and to get the goal of your dream at all cost.,, i personally think this is a good book... some ppl bcuz of the sake of some1 or something , they wont go for their goal which i thk ppl shud really strive for their goal.
Practicing this concept doesnt mean u have to bin chao chao..
GOsh i suggest u re-read this book, u clearly dun understand what its really about... and not to say teaches u to be selfish, it actually teaches you to just focus on your work or watever u want to do instead of helping ppl or do other stuff cuz of your so-called kind attitude that your mom always teach u...
THere are times when you can help ,but priority is the things that you want to do and you ahve to ignore something or you wont be able to do it in time...
Well, just different opinion, ppl can try and read it.. read it first time u might misunderstand the concept...
Okay, correct me if I'm wrong:
But Thick Face essentially means you should be thick-face enough to not care about what others think, and pursue your dreams.
Black Heart means that if people choose to tread on you in the path towards your dreams, tread them back. Otherwise, you lose. It doesn't mean doing evil, but it means doing what is necessary to achieve your goals. If it means causing a few lives of innocent souls, I'm truly sorry, but I can't really help it, can I?
My opinion in the above interpretation is that while I strongly agree on the need to pursue your own goals, the way the book teaches it causes one to be apathetic towards others in your pursuit for your material goals. Compassion and consideration are useless characteristics to have. Sometimes "unfortunate" sins can even good! Personally, I find that apalling, but it's a matter of opinion.
No doubt, the book is useful to you (I won't argue against that), as it is useful to my own younger brother. He swore by it.
But I don't like what he has become 10 years down the road since he has read that book, maybe it has to do with that book, maybe not. -
Hm? that red sentences is not what i read..dont know bout tread them back on how they tread u.. never read that . Ok, i'll re-check again to confrim but what i know Thick Face is like a Shield and Black Heart is like a SpearOriginally posted by ordinaryguy32:Yes, I agree I may have forgotten many details, and perhaps I should read it again.
Okay, correct me if I'm wrong:
But Thick Face essentially means you should be thick-face enough to not care about what others think, and pursue your dreams.
Black Heart means that if people choose to tread on you in the path towards your dreams, tread them back. Otherwise, you lose. It doesn't mean doing evil, but it means doing what is necessary to achieve your goals. If it means causing a few lives of innocent souls, I'm truly sorry, but I can't really help it, can I?
My opinion in the above interpretation is that while I strongly agree on the need to pursue your own goals, the way the book teaches it causes one to be apathetic towards others in your pursuit for your material goals. Compassion and consideration are useless characteristics to have. Sometimes "unfortunate" sins can even good! Personally, I find that apalling, but it's a matter of opinion.
No doubt, the book is useful to you (I won't argue against that), as it is useful to my own younger brother. He swore by it.
But I don't like what he has become 10 years down the road since he has read that book, maybe it has to do with that book, maybe not.
anyway, its just a book to guide and we can always choose to follow or dont..
Even though im following the concept, i will still think to considerate other ppls feeling but if nothing can be done and damage will stil be there.. i have to do it bcuz its part of my job and also my goal. Everyone has their own life. Some ppl tend to be so selfish for their own good , some dont..
What i mean is that lets say i wanted something, me too wont use a dirty way to get it.. of course there will be a better way. So its up to you to use dirty or the clean way to achiece your goal.. i just believe if theres a goal that you want, u can always try to achieve it.
Yea the book teaches you to win at all cost.. either in good way or bad way. it is us to choose. But we tend to forget that this is the real world.. EVen in "The Apprentice" Donald Trump even like some ways that the participants used to achieve their target.. This is the real world man.. IF we really care too much of how ppl think.. its kinda hard to achieve wat we can get..
Just my opinion la.. no offence to anyone. Sometimes we treat ppl good not bcuz we want to but bcuz of the learnings for friend or family that we shud treat ppl good.. ever wonder you're pretending to smile when you dont wan to smile at all ? The same goes to your goal. whether u wan to pretend to "smile" or just be yourself...and yea.. sometimes yourself is evil,, but thats what you are.
Sometimes we just treat ppl good so that ppl's impression to us is good.. Have u ever felt that ? I do. And i dont really like it cuz it somehow pretentious. -
*edited* i entered wrong forum hehehe paiseh
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Well, since you haven't come across it, perhaps I need to go and check it again.Originally posted by Zarks:
Hm? that red sentences is not what i read..dont know bout tread them back on how they tread u.. never read that . Ok, i'll re-check again to confrim but what i know Thick Face is like a Shield and Black Heart is like a Spear
anyway, its just a book to guide and we can always choose to follow or dont..
Even though im following the concept, i will still think to considerate other ppls feeling but if nothing can be done and damage will stil be there.. i have to do it bcuz its part of my job and also my goal. Everyone has their own life. Some ppl tend to be so selfish for their own good , some dont..
What i mean is that lets say i wanted something, me too wont use a dirty way to get it.. of course there will be a better way. So its up to you to use dirty or the clean way to achiece your goal.. i just believe if theres a goal that you want, u can always try to achieve it.
Yea the book teaches you to win at all cost.. either in good way or bad way. it is us to choose. But we tend to forget that this is the real world.. EVen in "The Apprentice" Donald Trump even like some ways that the participants used to achieve their target.. This is the real world man.. IF we really care too much of how ppl think.. its kinda hard to achieve wat we can get..
Just my opinion la.. no offence to anyone. Sometimes we treat ppl good not bcuz we want to but bcuz of the learnings for friend or family that we shud treat ppl good.. ever wonder you're pretending to smile when you dont wan to smile at all ? The same goes to your goal. whether u wan to pretend to "smile" or just be yourself...and yea.. sometimes yourself is evil,, but thats what you are.Sometimes we just treat ppl good so that ppl's impression to us is good.. Have u ever felt that ? I do. And i dont really like it cuz it somehow pretentious.
I would agree that the book teaches you to focus on your goals, and not be a "nice loser" anymore. To a certain extent, that is very good to some people.
And I'm glad you benefit from it, and have the maturity to think about how best to achieve any goals you set for yourself.
For the first bold part, I would say that the difference between evil and good is an ultra-thin line. In the past, I have hated someone to the extent of hurting him before, now that's evil. When I clear those thoughts and focus on thoughts of compassion, now that's good. My point is nobody who walks on the surface of this earth is inherently good or evil. It's what you think, say, and do that makes you evil/good at a particular point of time. There are examples of murderers who are filial sons or good fathers.
For the second bold part, I strongly agree that being pretentious is useless and meaningless, but if you don't like someone, you don't have to be rude to him, nor do you have to pretend to like him. A curt acknowledgement will do.
That's just my opinion. Thanks. -
Stick to TS thread liou
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well, i starting to forget her..
not to think abt her..
its a waste of time..
but... but...... i say say only..
where got so eay to forget a person u love so so so much... -
ask them to kiss_ur (_i_)Originally posted by kiss_my (_i_):well, i starting to forget her..
not to think abt her..
its a waste of time..
but... but...... i say say only..
where got so eay to forget a person u love so so so much... -
let the past be the past. let memories be memories
. let em stay that way forever. -
The past shaped us as what we are today, and what we do today shall shape our future.Originally posted by oOprinceOo:let the past be the past. let memories be memories . let em stay that way forever. -
It's been more than a week since I last updated. Thanks to everyone who sent me PMs.
I do intend to remain her guardian angel no matter what happens in the future; that's the least I can do for her, after all that she's done for me and the way in which I treated her.
However, I have let go. Completely. I spoke to her some time ago, and she has changed, or at her attitude to me has at least - she doesn't harbour any feelings for me anymore. Further, I've been hearing so much about how happy she is from everyone, and how much she has moved on.
With each time I receive news about her, the more it hurts; but at the same time, because of the nature of what I'm hearing, I'm letting go more and more and I find my feelings fading day by day because the girl I knew and loved is gone. Not to mention I am still deeply hurt by the fact that just days after our break up I caught her in the arms of another guy. If we were in a relationship I would have no doubt he might have been just consoling her, but the fact we weren't only points to me that she has moved on. I don't care what her sister says or what any other girl does - I spoke with my female colleagues and friends and they have all denounced that act; which only proves to me that she has changed and moved on.
I have let go. The further I let go, the more I wonder where my true feelings lie. On some nights, when I'm not careful enough to focus, I just end up driving around and thinking about her ... so far I've burned almost $150 like this.
Yet at the same time, I think about all that has happened, and what I saw/heard, I question myself, that even if she one day wants to come back, would I really want her back? Am I someone she can just abandon on a whim, have her fun and expect to be there when she returns?
I've been talking to the opposite sex beyond a work/friend relationship; because of my conflict in feelings, I don't exactly know why I am doing that. I myself believe it's because seeing how she's moved on ... I don't want to be left behind. Does this make me a bad person?
Does the fact I question like this make me a bad person? -
sgx008,
It is ok to give yourself some time to grieve.
It is after all, the death of a relationship with someone you love.
And no, what you did to move on... is no bad... you are just weak.
..... vulnerable. And it is ok to be vulnerable, sometimes.
Just don't stay this way... too long.
And you questioning your motives .... it's just guilty conscience talking.
Good thing you have one.