Dunno wat happened..
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Recently, I just broke up with my boyfriend. We didn't go out for long but it was the best time of my life. He was different, and I really thought we could be together forever.
But, things started to happen, I had to study for my promos, so I told him I had to study, could spend as much with him as before but I'll 'bu chang' after my exams. Knowing how much the promos meant, he said ok, and he didn't mind but somehow we began to distance, he seldom msg me unless I msg him, no more 'i miss you' 'sweetie' and so on. I started suspecting something was wrong so I asked him about it. He said he was feeling weird, 'emptiness' in the sense so I tried my best to assure him, but he didn't even say anything. So after the promos I told him that I finished my exams, no need to be afraid of any decision that will affect me, so he said: he feels weird, how he can be so happy with me, and then lost when I'm gone, and after a while I become non existant. He said he don't want to be on such a roller coaster ride, he wanted something stable. So we broke up. Tell me, truely, what do u think he meant by that? Because I'm really confused by wat he said. He once wrote a letter to me telling me I was the girl he wanted to be with the rest of his life, he's working hard in poly, so he could support our family in the future.
What do you think went wrong?
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From the best of what i understand, he is saying that he does'nt want a 'roller coaster' ride. I guess he does'nt want a topsy turvy relationship. He wants ur company most of the time. U just finished ur promos...and further on in life..u'll be busier with things more significant than promos..so i guess he foresees a disruptive relationship. But then again, dont be sad, promos are essential, so get on with life.
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seriously, guys need attention. especially when they give in alot only to hav nth in return.
if the problem is becoz : u hav ignore him during ur promo. then, most probably is ur bf think u began to ignore him and thus his feeling for u faded.
honestly, i also hav this experience b4,i had a gf hu was taking her promo previously but den she promise she will still msg mi and call mi. after weeks, no sms nor calls... after tt we didn't communicate further.. was i in the fault? i dun think so.. wad i trying to say is tt yes promo is important, but try to spend like at least 5 mins on a sms, does tt hurts?
if the problem is becoz : he ignore u since ur promo. then, i'm sorry,
i think his heart is gone.
in a guy's point of view.. we need attention loh..so sad but it's true.. if during tt stage,ur bf met someone more caring and concern den u..tendency of he changing his feeling is high.
let's face it..will u chose bread or stone? -
He is just confused like most men.
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eh.. hu u mean?Originally posted by Wo_Xiang_Xin:He is just confused like most men. -
I meant the boyfriend and generally men.
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I didn ignore him durin the promos.. just told him that i had to spend less time with him cos usually i meet him on friday nights and saturdays. i still msg him when i have my study break. the first week was ok.. but the second and third week was a disaster
i dunno bout other guys, but was he maybe afraid of disturbing when i was studyin since i told that i need too?
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btw, i'm puppylove, log in using fren's nick
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I agree with Douglas1985.
Guess he wants the more caring type of gf so that in future when he started a family, he could concentrate in his career while his wife will be taking care of him & the house.
You have spent lesser time with him during the exams, to him, maybe he might feel that you've ignored his needs (he wants a gf to keep him company most time), he felt neglected & lonely (when you are not around), he dun feel important (exams are more impt than him) etc...
All these could be possible reasons for the breakup but then I am just guessing cos I am not him, dunno what he really is thinking. -
Actually I think that his feelings for you have faded. Hes just putting it in a nice way.
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Perhaps u should go talk to him again, tell him that all people, regardless whether studying or not, are bound to busy with things, e.g. work, studies. He wants a gf which can be there for him most of the time. That is really humanly impossible
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Are guys always confused? Aniwae, i wrote a letter to him to ask for a second chance.. just see how it goes not pinning high hopes though.. haha i guess i should have at least meet him as usual on fridays, things might hav turn out better
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Confused is an attribute for most guy. That's how they get double standards and cannot decide who he wants to spend his time with - girlfriend or counterstrike, sigh.
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Hi! I'm a newcomer here and like to share my thoughts on this topic. You see I also have a gf. She has just found a job and then suddenly she seems very busy with her job. She used to text me a lot but now only once, twice or thrice a day. And I keep thinking why can't she give me 10 minutes of her time daily to text me or call me. Actually I am now considering in ending our relationship. It's hard for me because it is our only line of communication and yet she is not making the most of it. I can't get angry to her for that reason. It seems that everytime she does this, I fall out of love.
One thing I could advise you though is to never forget him all the time even during the worst and hardest moments because relationship will not grow if it is not nourished. But still remember that in any case he doesn't want to give you a second chance, it is his loss.
Hope you'll be able to get lucky. Never lose hope. -
he's a jerk~!~!~!!! juz out to cheat yr feelings only~!!
tsk tsk... nv trust guys, they are all jerks...
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i don't think so. this has happened to a lot of relationship. it is called negligence. try to ignore your bf/gf for a certain period and you'll see what i mean.
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Sometimes i don't believe it's something as simple as that .... it normally takes 2 to clap as the saying goes. Perhaps you were a bit negligent towards him, but one could argue that he was not mindful of your needs.Originally posted by andy_1973:i don't think so. this has happened to a lot of relationship. it is called negligence. try to ignore your bf/gf for a certain period and you'll see what i mean.
Either way what's done is done ... if he's not interested in you anymore there's no point pining over him. It'll just cause undue stress and anxiety.
It's a wide world out there and you'll never know who you'er gonna meet!
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in fairness to puppylove, i think the guy should have understood and considering that she have not neglected him all the while so it is his problem. and honeydew, i am really having that problem now, whether to bail out or stay. Would I like my life to be like this forever? can i live this kind of life? i would like to ask you a question, if you have a job and working so hard, would you give 10 minutes of your time to your boyfriend or you rather take a good rest? for me, she can't give that 10 minutes or sometimes even a minute of her 1440 minutes per day or roughly 0.7% or 0.07% respectively ( i think it will take you around 1-2 minute for a 160 charater text). i hope you understand.
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Perhaps you should talk to your galfriend Andy_1973. If she does not know you feel this way, it might not even cross her mind that it's vexing you so much.
On the other hand ... if she knows yet refuses to do anything about it .... I suggest you dump her frumpy ass. 10 mins of her time is definitely not too much to ask!
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My bf is in Uni and is having exams.. so its kind of like the opposite. No time to go out or send me home. Trying to be understanding but kinda feels unappreciated.
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Perhaps it is self-confidence and insecurity. We seek a 'balance' of control and let go but everyone's standard is different and evolving. We always want to be reminded that our better half love us, think of us constantly, but if done too often, we say they are controlling and dominating. Sigh, irony.Originally posted by andy_1973:i don't think so. this has happened to a lot of relationship. it is called negligence. try to ignore your bf/gf for a certain period and you'll see what i mean. -
I did make an effort to still spend time with him though, hmm.. guess sometimes things just dun go the way they should.. ironically, why i became so hardworking was becos of him, cos i also wanna work towards our family in the future but then again, we drifted becos of that..
Aniwae, if your girlfriend is neglecting you, maybe you should talk to her before wanting to end the relationship
cos i think my ex didn do that, that's why the breakup was like hangin in the air... sometimes also mus see whether her job allows her to have time to msg you, if her job has some irritating boss watching over her all the time to make sure she does her job well, she can't msg you rite? so it isn't really her fault also... it's best to talk it out first, get some mutual agreement, plan something, don just let go of a relationship like that, one has to try first before giving up wat -
Maybe he came into the relationship because of the sweet chemistry between the two of you?
Now that the sweetness seem to have faded, he feels weird? -
Stop calling man Jerks! Not all are jerks, if u met a jerk or are with a jerk, then u can only blame yourself for being such a jerk to fall for a jerk. Damn this is so jerky
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yah, he said that to me, say it will hurt more if we continue.. that it might end up the same way during my A's.. university and so on. i wished i could get on with life but it's easier said than done, although now i'm quite busy with all my work i still think about him all the time.. so i dunno wat to do also since i have tried to distract myself by keepin myself busy and occupied.Originally posted by Douglas1985:From the best of what i understand, he is saying that he does'nt want a 'roller coaster' ride. I guess he does'nt want a topsy turvy relationship. He wants ur company most of the time. U just finished ur promos...and further on in life..u'll be busier with things more significant than promos..so i guess he foresees a disruptive relationship. But then again, dont be sad, promos are essential, so get on with life.
as for Soon Keong, wat did you do when u and ur gf drifted during promos?