Just feel the need to let this out..
-
Maurity doesn't comes with age, not like insurance. It comes with life experiences. Age gap is not a very good excuse..Originally posted by tinuviel07:thanks
i think it has to do with the age gap too.. haha i'm 21.. he's 31.. altho he doesn't behave like his age..
-
no wonder....Originally posted by tinuviel07:thanks i think it has to do with the age gap too.. haha i'm 21.. he's 31.. altho he doesn't behave like his age..
dont take this thing too deep la.. just realised that theres plenty of good stuffs out there for you to enjoy.. why be sad for this kind of person...
the one who really love you wont make you cry. just remember that la -
no la.. i meant that at that age.. certain things may seemed more pressing to you, hence it was easier for him to choose..Originally posted by sLeEpWaLkErInG:Maurity doesn't comes with age, not like insurance. It comes with life experiences. Age gap is not a very good excuse.. -
Huh! Why no young men meh, why u choose an Uncle??Originally posted by tinuviel07:thanks i think it has to do with the age gap too.. haha i'm 21.. he's 31.. altho he doesn't behave like his age..
Nevermind, after this incident you should be more mature ya. You should have learned the followings.
1. Make sure boys give you 100 times of call before going out.
2. Must be absolute sure he is good and strong before committing
3. Do not move in before marriage, because you tends to move out.
4. Dun joint venture in business with loveone, because emotion will fail you.
5. Get a younger guy for more inspiration and creativity, energy and also love.
6. Respect your parents. -
well, love is blind...
-
Do ignore Zarks, hes juz a despo
i know he help you and all that, but he got motive de
saying is his principle,
uhhh, for the first month?
naturally will forgo ur little 'principle', wait and see
To: Ts
hmm....you are just 21, still have a long road ahead!
-
Ya, but blind also can feel mah, I came across this phrase alot of times, LOVE IS BLIND, i guess it is more of a console phrase trying to evade the reality of love.Originally posted by caleb_chiang:well, love is blind...
A blind man can take the hardship to feels and walk with a stick, so dun give excuses as love is blind when love fall out. Love is not blind, it is you that is blind.
Dun blame it on Love, it a wonderful word -
Dun you dare to insult my bf. My dear Zarkie ya.Originally posted by yiha093:Do ignore Zarks, hes juz a despo
i know he help you and all that, but he got motive de
saying is his principle,
uhhh, for the first month?
naturally will forgo ur little 'principle', wait and see
To: Ts
hmm....you are just 21, still have a long road ahead! -
Things I learned today. Never work together with spouse. But my parents started their own business together leh. They got quarrel occasionally over work but they are still going strong wor..
Got any explainations? I also want do business cause they influence me. -
I will testify as to the integrity of Zarks character as well
Anyway, I found myself in a similar position as you did very recently. However, I have already let go - what you're holding on to are memories; just like I did. Because it was so sudden and unexpected, you're just holding on to the last immediate impression of your partner - memories.
I am still sad you know, when I think about all the memories - but I have let go completely; I don't harbour any more feelings for her because I have come to terms with the fact she has changed, and she is no longer the person I knew or loved, and most importantly, she will never go back to being that way. Of course I came to these conclusions not blindly, but after finding out alot of hidden things from her friends. Even if she does want to come back to me, I doubt I could get over my insecurity of her just abandoning me like that - I'm human too you know.
Also, I definitely do not blame myself anymore; after talking with alot of mutual friends (that is friends of my ex), I realise I was not at fault although I initially thought it was (and especially the way she played it out - that it was my fault). Just like starting a relationship, the demise of one takes two hands to clap - regardless what your ex said or did, it's not JUST your fault. In any case, no point playing the blame game when the past cannot be brought back. What is important is that you move on too.
To be honest, the best way to move on is to let yourself know how in demand you are. I've been hitting on girl after girl - I mean, not leading anywhere but the favourable responses makes me feel much better in that I realise that my ex is not the only good girl out there, and I can definitely find better.
Again, no doubt the memories will come back to haunt you as it still does me - that's only because the break up was so fast, sudden and unexpected - it's only natural you cling on to your last impression of your ex; or at least the lasting one.
The best that I can do, as many of the other forumers have done for me, as a stranger hiding behind a moniker, is to offer you comfort whenever you feel down or when the memories come back. You will feel alot better just typing and seeking reassurance from others. I know what it's like not being able to turn to anyone else; so don't be ashamed to turn to us - there's nothing to be embarassed about because we're all strangers hiding behind a nickname.
All the best -
depend what kinda business lorOriginally posted by cloud210:
Things I learned today. Never work together with spouse. But my parents started their own business together leh. They got quarrel occasionally over work but they are still going strong wor..
Got any explainations? I also want do business cause they influence me. -
im so touchedOriginally posted by angel7030:Dun you dare to insult my bf. My dear Zarkie ya.
-
Dun anyhow touch ya, i very sensitive one, and also still a VOriginally posted by Zarks:im so touched 
Anyway you are welcome. -
Way you go, man,,, Life isnt actually that bad huhOriginally posted by sgx088:I will testify as to the integrity of Zarks character as well
Anyway, I found myself in a similar position as you did very recently. However, I have already let go - what you're holding on to are memories; just like I did. Because it was so sudden and unexpected, you're just holding on to the last immediate impression of your partner - memories.
I am still sad you know, when I think about all the memories - but I have let go completely; I don't harbour any more feelings for her because I have come to terms with the fact she has changed, and she is no longer the person I knew or loved, and most importantly, she will never go back to being that way. Of course I came to these conclusions not blindly, but after finding out alot of hidden things from her friends. Even if she does want to come back to me, I doubt I could get over my insecurity of her just abandoning me like that - I'm human too you know.
Also, I definitely do not blame myself anymore; after talking with alot of mutual friends (that is friends of my ex), I realise I was not at fault although I initially thought it was (and especially the way she played it out - that it was my fault). Just like starting a relationship, the demise of one takes two hands to clap - regardless what your ex said or did, it's not JUST your fault. In any case, no point playing the blame game when the past cannot be brought back. What is important is that you move on too.
To be honest, the best way to move on is to let yourself know how in demand you are. I've been hitting on girl after girl - I mean, not leading anywhere but the favourable responses makes me feel much better in that I realise that my ex is not the only good girl out there, and I can definitely find better.
Again, no doubt the memories will come back to haunt you as it still does me - that's only because the break up was so fast, sudden and unexpected - it's only natural you cling on to your last impression of your ex; or at least the lasting one.
The best that I can do, as many of the other forumers have done for me, as a stranger hiding behind a moniker, is to offer you comfort whenever you feel down or when the memories come back. You will feel alot better just typing and seeking reassurance from others. I know what it's like not being able to turn to anyone else; so don't be ashamed to turn to us - there's nothing to be embarassed about because we're all strangers hiding behind a nickname.
All the best All the best... You'll find peace in your heart soon and you sure will get better -
Originally posted by angel7030:Dun anyhow touch ya, i very sensitive one, and also still a V
Anyway you are welcome. Dono why you're so unique -
HR consultant @ UOB, not married and a V..
muz be like forties liao rite? -
lol, angelic..Originally posted by sLeEpWaLkErInG:HR consultant @ UOB, not married and a V..
muz be like forties liao rite? -
memories will always be memories but nothing eliminates them better than time......but it is u urself who need to make an attempt to occupy urself with other thoughts or activities...it'll definately speed up the elimination process.
at 21, the world is ur oyster.....many many things to do & have fun with so why bog urself down with such things.
anyway welcome to SGF & do enjoy ur stay here....at least we wont dump u that's for sure -
o ya...
just my opinion, i also feel the need to point out my opinion!
i am a young 14 yr old boy tho, and this is just my opinion, pls point out anything that i am wrong to say at.
yeah this was wat i was thinking, it is a sad thing to break up, but a good thing u didnt married to the wrong one, and i see no need to keep thinking of the sweet memory and avoid the bitter ones,
i find this lesson very valuable to u and me and everyone else, keep this lesson in mind, but dont let it be a barrier to ur relationship with ur future half, maybe now u keep having the bitter memories that remind u of bad things, but these bad memories can let u grow up and ensure next u will have sweet experience, by that time u wan to remember the bad things also quite hard ^^
same thing, time heals everything, time can give anything u wan... it is true.
Note: Once again, I gonna emphasize that all of the above is just a 14 yr old inexperienced boy opinion, pls pls point out where i am wrong so that i could learn from it too.....
good luck ^^
Thanks
IA -
Originally posted by tinuviel07:My first post. Have always been reading around the forums..
Well just feel the need to let this out..
Been with this guy for 1 year 5 months.. He liked me before I like him.. After asking four times, I finally accepted him.. He was everything I could want at that time.. We had the same interests, we can talk about anything.. Basically we were on the same frequency..
About three months into the relationship, I moved in with him. Because, while staying with my parents, they didn't really let me go out late.. But since he finished work pretty late at about 11pm most times, I'm forced to make a choice.. So I guess that pushed me to move in with him.. Previously I stayed in hall in uni..
Most of my time were spend with him since we live together.. He used to manage a tuition centre near the place where we live, so I'll always be in the office with him while he taught.. as time goes by, because he needed tutors and the financial situation wasn't very good.. I took up tuition classes for him.. The money I earned will go into paying for the car loan, for our room rental, office rental and so on.. Of course he's paying too..
Things were supposedly well.. We spent all our times together, working hard, going out sometimes. But as the financial situation got worse, he became busier and although we were together most of the time, it was me studying or teaching and him doing his teaching as well.. It wasn't what I would call 'quality time' I guess. But at that time, I thought that if I love him, all these were just nothing much..
In around july/august this year, we were pretty close with this other couple.. And the four of us decided to go into a new line of business.. Things got started.. In September however, I was pissed with him for an incident and I kinda showed my 'black face' to the other guy (one of the partners). He was telling my ex how angry he was that I showed him my bad mood even if he wasn't the one that I was angry with..
It was a huge incident that my ex and I argued a lot about.. I felt that although it was my fault for not being sensitive enough, my only argument was that I thought that guy was like a close friend so I don't really have to hide my feelings that much.. I was just keeping quiet that day and not like I was throwing my temper on the other guy.. The other guy's argument was that if I could do this to him, I could do this to clients next time and it would be bad..
My ex wanted me to apologise to that guy, but I thought it was a small matter and I didn't see my mistake at that time so I refused.. My ex didn't explained why I was wrong as well..
So I was cut out of the new business.. And mostly because of this incident, my ex suddenly told me he wanted to break up.. I guess because he felt that I could no longer help him in the new business, and money was important to him at this point in time.. Before he broke up with me, he already moved to another girl which was a friend introduced by that guy..
I guess I can't let it go.. because he was so perfect before this incident.. Because I've put in so much emotions, effort into this relationship.. We were planning to get married next year.. So much plans, goals.. The future.. It's just gone like that.. It's hard to accept that a guy who could love you so much could just suddenly do this cruel thing to you..
Because all my times have been spent with him, so the empty voids now are quite unbearable and lots of memories in lots of places..
Time change... people change... money talk.
If love was a sturdy constant, everything else, being variables, will not cause the relationship to waver. Shake perhaps, but certainly not topple. If this constant is altered, even if the variables were to remain the same, nothing will stay the same.
Your cohabitation complicates your void because you have not only lost a relationship, but probably also your usual place of residence in which you have probably already grown accustomed to it. There are many emotional re-adjustment to make, leaving you terribly disoriented. Surely...as you had once left your 'safety shore' for this relationship, hoping to sail beyond the unchartered water to find glory in your hazardous, yet exciting journey in love.
Perhaps it might seem so, until the wretched storm brought your ship down with one cruel squall. You might think that one incident is the reason for your destruction, but I can tell you it's merely the catalysis.
In the first place, chances are, if your ship isn't well constructed to handle such crisis, it would probably sink... given the circumstances.
From a girlfriend, you have simultaneously played the role of a business partner and a colleague. This is admirable, but if your man doesn't see from that point of view, eventually the relationship would have dwindle into some sort of bland soup because the intense focus on monetary aspects of life would have cast a blinding veil upon the relationship - robbing the relationship off couple affection and love unconsciously. Devotion is pegged towards the lifeline of the business and quality time is mixed with business, work and the what's not.
And when you commercialise relationship - it becomes inane and vacuous.
P.S: Your ex is indeed self absorbed - he has completely forgotten about the struggle you had with him and I truly reckon that it's indeed his great lost to leave a woman, who has, ironically, no qualms about sticking around and struggling in unison with a man through such bad financial state.
You have liberated yourself from his struggle. You should accept the new freedom coursing through your vein and not let this unfortunate failure bring you down, leaving you lost as if you are drifting on a log after your shipwreck.
Keep determined resolution to restore yourself. You truly deserve someone better.
Cheers -
All the best of everything to you....
-
yunyun jiu shi yunyun
-
move on ...
meet new guys...
jia you !!!
dun be sad!!!
-
although it is sad to break up...
do both of u try to make it works?
it takes 2 hands to claps..
if the relationship cannot works..
move on and get on with things!!!
be happy! -
ur ex probably lost interest in u liao cos he met the gal... n the guy probably hated u so he set ur ex up with the gal... no point spend ur time on him too as he too $$$ minded..