Help regarding inheritance...
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When somebody treats us really bad, it can be difficult not to hate them.Originally posted by Fatum:that is your solely your inference alone ....
whatever the case, I stand by my statements regardless, because I have considered the extremes of this situation ....
all I can say to the TS is, do not hate your parent regardless .... for no matter what, he will be the only father you'll ever have (okie, I'm inferring about the father here, but please re-read the TS's posts again )
and again, inheritance is a gift, and not a right ... whatever the law says ... fight for it if you like ... but be careful of what it'll do to your life and your soul ...
That somebody could be anybody, including co-workers, siblings and even parents.
Forgiving people who treat you like dirt is an act of a saint, but we human beings are not perfect, and hence we should give understanding to those who tend not to act like saints, simply because we aren't saints ourselves.
Fatum, you are lucky to be in a family where you obviously do not have parents like this. It is perhaps inconceivable for you to think that parents can mistreat children.
Unfortunately, there are, especially if some parents have more than 1 child, and hence some parents rank their children with all sorts of factors, and shower them with proportionate love. Sigh...
But of course, we hope that every child in the world can have your fortune.
Inheritance is a gift, when you consider that you are lucky to ever have a claim on any inheritance, but in the eyes of the law, it is a right because who else, apart from surviving spouse and children, can claim on a parent's inheritance.
And as for TS's problem, I'm quite sure I've read somewhere it is half-half, one half to surviving spouse, the other to TS, be it a gift or a right. -
Originally posted by Fatum:
Fatum, what makes you so sure that all parents can love their children dearly?
that's why I say I pity your parents ... for they do not have your unconditional love ....
for you seem to tie your love for your parents according to how your parents loves you (or not) ......
are you a father now ? ...... what if your child hates you ? ... would you still love your child then ? ....
I am sure your parents love you dearly, and may you find it within yourself to love them unconditionally too, come what may .....
Confucianism and the major religions teach us to practise unconditional piety, yes, i would agree with you.
According to you, parents should love their children dearly, and children should practise unconditional filial piety. And I would agree that is the beauty of theory.
Can I ask you one question:
If a parent asks a son to commit murder or a daughter to work in a brothel, should the child yield, in the name of filial piety?
Okay, I can sense your indignation. What sort of parent is this, there's no such thing.
You have to agree there is such a parent. Otherwise you need not answer the question. -
very wrong.Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:Yar. Half to the survive spouse, another half to alive children.
all to surviving spouse unless otherwise stated in a will.
so too bad to ts.
tell urself u dun need that money or built up ur relationship with the living 1 so that s/he will write a will to give u when s/he dies.
and normally even if got will, takes around 3-10 years to process.
no will no family, money = gahmen take. -
yes, I understand where you are coming from ....Originally posted by ordinaryguy32:When somebody treats us really bad, it can be difficult not to hate them.
That somebody could be anybody, including co-workers, siblings and even parents.
Forgiving people who treat you like dirt is an act of a saint, but we human beings are not perfect, and hence we should give understanding to those who tend not to act like saints, simply because we aren't saints ourselves.
Fatum, you are lucky to be in a family where you obviously do not have parents like this. It is perhaps inconceivable for you to think that parents can mistreat children.
Unfortunately, there are, especially if some parents have more than 1 child, and hence some parents rank their children with all sorts of factors, and shower them with proportionate love. Sigh...
But of course, we hope that every child in the world can have your fortune.
Inheritance is a gift, when you consider that you are lucky to ever have a claim on any inheritance, but in the eyes of the law, it is a right because who else, apart from surviving spouse and children, can claim on a parent's inheritance.
And as for TS's problem, I'm quite sure I've read somewhere it is half-half, one half to surviving spouse, the other to TS, be it a gift or a right.
it's so easy to hate, not so easy to love, in the face of hate or bad treatment ....
and yes, you're right, I have a set of parents who loves me unconditionally, despite all my faults, and for that I am grateful ...
perhaps because of this I cannot comprehend what the TS is going through right now ....
but I'll stick to my stand ... simply cos while it's easy to hate, and not easy to love .... this kind of hate infects your soul too .... and I know personally, that regret years down the road is more painful than the hate one can feel now ....
of course, if the motive is material ... there is nothing more to be said .... -
Originally posted by Fatum:
Well said, it's definitely much easier to hate than to love.
yes, I understand where you are coming from ....
it's so easy to hate, not so easy to love, in the face of hate or bad treatment ....
and yes, you're right, I have a set of parents who loves me unconditionally, despite all my faults, and for that I am grateful ...
perhaps because of this I cannot comprehend what the TS is going through right now ....
but I'll stick to my stand ... simply cos while it's easy to hate, and not easy to love .... this kind of hate infects your soul too .... and I know personally, that regret years down the road is more painful than the hate one can feel now ....
of course, if the motive is material ... there is nothing more to be said ....
And I agree spreading hate does no good to anyone, least of all oneself.
It is a common fact that children who grew up in unconditional loving environments are more confident, and can give more love to people around them.
The sad thing is that children who grew up neglected and abused by parents who are either irresponsible or show favoritism, begin on what I would say, much lower rungs, in the ladder of love.
Forgiving parents is a very noble act. -
This thread is about helping threadstarter with her situation no matter how bleak it may be. I don't think Fatum should make it about himself with his stand on unconditional love. Nearly 3 pages and you are like a broken record.
Personally, I am also interested what the law has to say on this matter. Any forumnites are able to help out or share their views? Thanks in advance. -
I suppose everything has to be in writing?Originally posted by spadeTwo:very wrong.
all to surviving spouse unless otherwise stated in a will.
so too bad to ts.
tell urself u dun need that money or built up ur relationship with the living 1 so that s/he will write a will to give u when s/he dies.
and normally even if got will, takes around 3-10 years to process.
no will no family, money = gahmen take.
What if one parent takes you around town and verbally mentioned to you that this is building is part of the asset for you, or around 30% shares in this company should go to you and your siblings, etc?
Would this hold up in court? -
if that's what we are playing here ... then yeah, it's pointless ... cos I think your interpretation of what love and piety constitutes is flawed ...Originally posted by ordinaryguy32:Fatum, what makes you so sure that all parents can love their children dearly?
Confucianism and the major religions teach us to practise unconditional piety, yes, i would agree with you.
According to you, parents should love their children dearly, and children should practise unconditional filial piety. And I would agree that is the beauty of theory.
Can I ask you one question:
If a parent asks a son to commit murder or a daughter to work in a brothel, should the child yield, in the name of filial piety?
Okay, I can sense your indignation. What sort of parent is this, there's no such thing.
You have to agree there is such a parent. Otherwise you need not answer the question.
since we are playing questions here ... I'd like to ask those who are not in the TS's situation here ....
Do you love your parents ? ... how do you love your parents ? ...
I think perhaps that can be very illuminating to our own souls ... -
*Thinks back to Tony SopranoOriginally posted by ordinaryguy32:Forgiving parents is a very noble act. -
What happens if the asset is a joint name?Originally posted by euc:I suppose everything has to be in writing?
What if one parent takes you around town and verbally mentioned to you that this is building is part of the asset for you, or around 30% shares in this company should go to you and your siblings, etc?
Would this hold up in court?
Like if a house has joint names of both the surviving and deceased parents, or the bank account of 1million is a joint account?
Can TS claim anything of those? -
Fatum you have said your piece. But imposing and forcing your ideals down other people throats is a different matter entirely.
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okie ... enough from me now ... people are starting to complain already ...
and since this thread is really about material things ... so what's the legal stand then ? ...
I know at least two bloodsuc... sorry, lawyers that lurks here ... perhaps they can finally put in a word ... -
Fatum, my idea is not to play questions to win arguments. Instead my idea is to just provide alternative views.Originally posted by Fatum:if that's what we are playing here ... then yeah, it's pointless ... cos I think your interpretation of what love and piety constitutes is flawed ...
since we are playing questions here ... I'd like to ask those who are not in the TS's situation here ....
Do you love your parents ? ... how do you love your parents ? ...
I think perhaps that can be very illuminating to our own souls ...
I like your idea of filial piety, and I am sure you are a filial child.
I know you disdain people who are supposedly mercenary and quick to be unfilial to perhaps deserving parents.
I would just like to point out with my post that sometimes people out there have problems along the lines of those, and personally I know cases of parents putting children in impossible dilemnas, and causing mental stress to their children.
It would be good to have your empathy of people with such problems.
Let's end here, if you can, and focus on TS's issues. -
This one everything goes to the surviving one.Originally posted by ordinaryguy32:What happens if the asset is a joint name?
Like if a house has joint names of both the surviving and deceased parents, or the bank account of 1million is a joint account?
Can TS claim anything of those?
Some banks, even after the account holder is deceased, still ask the relatives to pay fees to close the account.
Money talks, that's all there is to it. -
I see, I suppose TS will need to check out on assets with only his/her name on it, and try to stake a claim on those.Originally posted by euc:This one everything goes to the surviving one.
Some banks, even after the account holder is deceased, still ask the relatives to pay fees to close the account.
Money talks, that's all there is to it.
For CPF, I think it depends on whether a nomination is made. -
find lawyer
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I certainly hope that Fatum and Jojobeach are just disagreeing with each other and not flaming
Cheers -
Lets be more senstive and keep the judgements to ourselves. TS' here for opinions pertaining to her case; lets not impose on her more than she desires to recieve.
TS, I'd suggest that you should seek professional opinions. You may even want to get secondary opinions from another lawyer to be certain. All in all, it's best to let the lawyer to do the job, because even if you're entitled to the money - you'd still need a lawyer to handle the procedures.
So save yourself the headache
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Cheer simi?Originally posted by popikachu:I certainly hope that Fatum and Jojobeach are just disagreeing with each other and not flaming
Cheers
Go study
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Originally posted by Fatum:it is never right to covet something which is not yours ....
to me, inheritance is something rightfully yours only in law ... that is to say ... no one owes you anything ! ...
I do not think parents have to answer to their children about inheritance, nor do I think it right for children to question their inheritance, no matter what the circumstances .... yes, parents have an obligation to cherish and love their children, but children do not have the right to question that love, even when that is lacking ....
sides, if you hate your surviving parent so much (how can anyone hate one's parents is beyond me, sorry) ... then be independent, live your own life, neh ? ....
death without a will, all properties automatically goes to the surviving spouse, not the children ... don't expect anything ...
in anycase, lots of the circumstances about your situation remains unclear ... so pardon my natural first reaction ....
13 years ago, a school mate told me off " I hate people who are not close to their families".Originally posted by Wanda:Now you sound like you have really led a very sheltered, lucky life. You have no idea the kind of lives some kids lead out there.
And the 2nd part about all properties automatically goes to the surviving spouse is wrong... according to the Intestate Succession Act.
13 years later, I remember the exact sentence word for word, where it was said and how she looked like when she said it...
I'm in my late twenties and till today, I cannot discuss my family without breaking down in tears. It costed me a highly coveted MT program with a Fortune 500 MNC because they drilled about family.
Open your eyes and heart to the suffering outside your usual social circles...