really nid help...
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it's my first post in here..well...here to start out wif my problems..
i know it is common n normal for couples to fight..however i see somethings in my relationship doesnt seems to work..i jus wonder waad sld i do?
we have been together for quite sometime..but one thing i cant stand abt him is he keep breaking minor promises...or u can consider me as 'xiao qi gui'...wadever the case..i shall continue...
we do talk during the night time cos it is the only free time i have in a day's time and everytime half way he says he will calls back during the night time...den as time pass by it is already mid night..i cant wait any longer as i have school in the morning next day...so seriously..i forget abt it and went to slp..onli the next day i ask him...he said..'sorry i forget...'...tat's all..i have to take his apologies right??if not wad else can i do?fight and make a mole out of something minor..
however recently he have been doing ths quite a lot of times...saying 'sorry i forget...'...and it is really getting me piss..to a certain extent dissappointment.and i duno wad sld i do...when i ask him n discuss abt it..he jus told me...'jus take n give in la ...some small problem why make it so big...'
his reply got me so stuck up..tat i think sometimes minor problems can rise up to become major problems..just because he is wif his frens and forgets his time n his words to me...
i find it a little upset and realise that he is taking for granted...can i know wad can i do?at least for now... -
find a better boyfriend, next time, don't find a boy to babysit and find a man to take care of you, ftw?
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later help u
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if you want a boyfriend who is sensitive about your needs, there are plenty of them, and all we can do, is offer a listening ear, and what others will reply to you, is either, they said what you want to hear, and if those people wanted to ask you to PM them and offer you advice, don't listen to them at all, because they probably want to get to know you, and get your h/p no. and i am sure you are a smart lady, so please don't give out your h/p no. to them at all, and you are looking for a place to vent your disappointment out,
you have to draw a line somewhere, either you tell your boyfriend, that he has to buck up or you will leave him for good, because you have had enough of his nonsense, if he treasure you, he will improve,
and those people who think that i am wrong
then my post to you people, will be this ------>
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hmmm..but i do not know what i sld do for now..i m kinda feeling mix the way he treated me in the past and present..
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both of you are 16 year old, ah? why is it, i have a feeling that your boyfriend behave like a kidOriginally posted by TimBERgURL:hmmm..but i do not know what i sld do for now..i m kinda feeling mix the way he treated me in the past and present.. -
Try to play him back the same way he treated you and let see how it goes, we must also show our gals power ya. Never because of love that we must follow their way of life. Booo..to them.Originally posted by TimBERgURL:hmmm..but i do not know what i sld do for now..i m kinda feeling mix the way he treated me in the past and present.. -
guys always talk less 1
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no..he is much older than u guess..21...i m 18...
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is he reliable in other areas?
not calling back is kinda minor la.
i think it can be classified under habit.
like since young, my parents will always complain that i like to take things and not put it back wherever it was from.
its just a habit.
maybe he saving on phonebill? or maybe he really forget, or maybe he nothing to talk to you about, so never call? maybe he's just bad at talking over the phone.
personally i'm the type who's bad at talking over phones. so i don't like to talk on phone unless like urgent, or information transfer.
if i want to let my gf know that i'm thinking abt her, i'll just drop her a msg instead.
i mean, why u want him to call you back? you got alot of things to catch up with him meh? -
ohOriginally posted by TimBERgURL:no..he is much older than u guess..21...i m 18... -
he is the one who says he will call back..so tat's y i waited for him..it is not like we talk every night...Originally posted by dumbdumb!:is he reliable in other areas?
i mean, why u want him to call you back? you got alot of things to catch up with him meh?
reliable in other areas..i nv did a test to test him out before eh..hahaz.. -
Originally posted by allentyb:if you want a boyfriend who is sensitive about your needs, there are plenty of them, and all we can do, is offer a listening ear, and what others will reply to you, is either, they said what you want to hear, and if those people wanted to ask you to PM them and offer you advice, don't listen to them at all, because they probably want to get to know you, and get your h/p no. and i am sure you are a smart lady, so please don't give out your h/p no. to them at all, and you are looking for a place to vent your disappointment out,
you have to draw a line somewhere, either you tell your boyfriend, that he has to buck up or you will leave him for good, because you have had enough of his nonsense, if he treasure you, he will improve,
and those people who think that i am wrong
then my post to you people, will be this ------>
Somehow I don't think I have any sgF member's phone numbers, even though I have blatantly stated that they are free to PM me if they wish and some really did. Don't generalise.
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Communicate with your boyfriend. I know you said that he blatantly refuses to talk, but try a few times more.
If his insensitivity is annoying you, and he refuses to change, sooner or later bigger problems would appear.
There can only be so much tolerance in a relationship. Beyond that boiling point, you will find yourself slowly filled up with steam. And after a certain point of time, it would explode.
Then again, looking from another perspective, are you two talking every single day?
Is there a need to talk every single day? Topics will run dry eventually. Are you being too clingy? -
nope..i dun talk every single night..i still have to work to pay some bills n faimly stuff..tat's for sure..only times tat i m free..we would talk..other than tat..it is onli when we meet up we talk...
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my mentality is set in this way, that i think therefore i am, so if you want to offer advice to people, you can do it in this thread, and i am not targeting you and binarynwitz, if you don't like the way, i type my message, i will not edit my post, and i will not apologise if i offend you, because this is a public forum, you never know what sort of person, she will meet.
so can you comprehend anything, i have said, or are you trying to stir up something? -
anyway..thanks for all the concern..really appreciate a lot..let's not stir up things and let it be its way..okie?
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a man who cant keep to his words, will not keep to his word.
you dont only wan assurance that he keeps his promise, you also wan him to be someone responsible. talk to him about it? see how he feels. if all he says is just sorry without trying to change the situation, then things could just take the plunge -
wad u said is really true..he cant keep his promise all the time..but he tell me he is trying..Originally posted by sEphIrOth:a man who cant keep to his words, will not keep to his word.
you dont only wan assurance that he keeps his promise, you also wan him to be someone responsible. talk to him about it? see how he feels. if all he says is just sorry without trying to change the situation, then things could just take the plunge -
Timbergurl, is this the only problem you have with your bf?Originally posted by TimBERgURL:it's my first post in here..well...here to start out wif my problems..
i know it is common n normal for couples to fight..however i see somethings in my relationship doesnt seems to work..i jus wonder waad sld i do?
we have been together for quite sometime..but one thing i cant stand abt him is he keep breaking minor promises...or u can consider me as 'xiao qi gui'...wadever the case..i shall continue...
we do talk during the night time cos it is the only free time i have in a day's time and everytime half way he says he will calls back during the night time...den as time pass by it is already mid night..i cant wait any longer as i have school in the morning next day...so seriously..i forget abt it and went to slp..onli the next day i ask him...he said..'sorry i forget...'...tat's all..i have to take his apologies right??if not wad else can i do?fight and make a mole out of something minor..
however recently he have been doing ths quite a lot of times...saying 'sorry i forget...'...and it is really getting me piss..to a certain extent dissappointment.and i duno wad sld i do...when i ask him n discuss abt it..he jus told me...'jus take n give in la ...some small problem why make it so big...'
his reply got me so stuck up..tat i think sometimes minor problems can rise up to become major problems..just because he is wif his frens and forgets his time n his words to me...
i find it a little upset and realise that he is taking for granted...can i know wad can i do?at least for now...
maybe when you talk to him on the phone and he says he'll call you back, just tell him not to cos u gotta sleep.
if it really bothers you, talk to him in a calm manner, like let's say you two are on your way to the movies and dinner, just casually mention : "xxx(his name or pet name u call him), you know, whenever you tell me you'll call back at night, i tend to wait for your call till after midnight.... and i feel sad and disappointed if you forget.... I just want you to know that *smile*"
your this post makes me think that you are afraid of confronting your bf, afraid perhaps that confrontation will lead to breakup?Originally posted by TimBERgURL:anyway..thanks for all the concern..really appreciate a lot..let's not stir up things and let it be its way..okie?
not all confrontation has to aggressive or unpleasant,
-talk to him using your girly tones,
-choose your words so that you do not seem like your are attacking him,
-do not point the finger,
-suggest a solution (eg. finish conversation, instead of putting it on hold to call back.) -
"You never know what sort of person, she will meet."Originally posted by allentyb:
my mentality is set in this way, that i think therefore i am, so if you want to offer advice to people, you can do it in this thread, and i am not targeting you and binarynwitz, if you don't like the way, i type my message, i will not edit my post, and i will not apologise if i offend you, because this is a public forum, you never know what sort of person, she will meet.
so can you comprehend anything, i have said, or are you trying to stir up something?
Ditto to you. Your generalising comment fall under this category too.
And yes, I think I'm stirring up something. I'm being a trouble-maker, trying to stir up anti-you emotions among sgF and then we'd lead a protest outside your house.
That, or I'm just pointing out the fact that you're generalising.
Pick one that fits into your reality. 
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now you are making a big deal out of my comment.Originally posted by binarynwitz:"You never know what sort of person, she will meet."
Ditto to you. Your generalising comment fall under this category.
And yes, I think I'm stirring up something. I'm being a trouble-maker, trying to stir up anti-you emotions among sgF and then we'd lead a protest outside your house.
That, or I'm just pointing out the fact that you're generalising.
Make one that fits into your reality.
my over generalising comment has irked you, i guess, haiz, oh well -
somehow i was refering the let it be the way it is..was because of the post that 2 ppl are arguing..Originally posted by smudgey:your this post makes me think that you are afraid of confronting your bf, afraid perhaps that confrontation will lead to breakup?
not all confrontation has to aggressive or unpleasant,
-talk to him using your girly tones,
-choose your words so that you do not seem like your are attacking him,
-do not point the finger,
-suggest a solution (eg. finish conversation, instead of putting it on hold to call back.)
hah..unpleasant or aggressive tone..but im jus too straight forwards wif words..die die..really dnoo how to sweet talk..n suggest a solution..i got none.. -
You made time for him. This is something you need to inform him. Because he's wasting your time making you wait. No one likes to wait. And also that his actions makes you feel he takes you for granted. All this you need to inform him.
Now if he can give a very good reason for missing the calls. Then its ok.
Next is to work out a good time slot where he can call you. Of when you free, SMS him and see if he is also free to talk. Maybe he's the sort who does not follow time table well.
Anyways, its not a small issue, its not a big issue. But leave it alone this will eat you from inside out if you do not talk with him. Then when you explode, he will wonder where all that came from. -
girls tend to keep talking ....
maybe thats why guys tend not to call girls at night cause they wan to
SLEEP
oh ya... TS...
be careful of zarks -
hmmm.. for the part that he didnt call u as promised.. maybe u can call him instead to find out whats wrong ?