really nid help...
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Without communication, it is very hard to sustain a relationship. You have to learn to resolve conflicts if both of you want to continue this relationship in the long run. u can try smudgey way or the angel way to get him understand your shoes.Originally posted by TimBERgURL:somehow i was refering the let it be the way it is..was because of the post that 2 ppl are arguing..
hah..unpleasant or aggressive tone..but im jus too straight forwards wif words..die die..really dnoo how to sweet talk..n suggest a solution..i got none..
I don't think it is not about sweet talk, it is about making unbiased and tactful comments ... can try to hint him that you are unhappy over his lack of keeping his promise. sometime, it is alright to show him ur unhappiness but don't over do it lah but then hinting might not work cos guys are generally thick-headed.
In the end, if this thing snowballs to angry outbreak point, and him being clueless, things might be hard to be kept. -
will try hard to solve it..hmmmm..
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guys tend nt to call girls??haha..i dun talk much at all...it is the opposite..ur theory seems wrong..hOriginally posted by yiha093:girls tend to keep talking ....
maybe thats why guys tend not to call girls at night cause they wan to
SLEEP
oh ya... TS...
be careful of zarks
ya y zarks? -
i did tat..at the very end..he is busy playing his games n forget calling..his reason..Originally posted by WiNtEr'SkiLL:hmmm.. for the part that he didnt call u as promised.. maybe u can call him instead to find out whats wrong ? -
Originally posted by TimBERgURL:i did tat..at the very end..he is busy playing his games n forget calling..his reason..
my bf plays game as well but he will call me at night or i will call him...if not will miss each other too much
but sometimes cant talk for long la, maybe just 10 to 15 minutes nia but we try to keep in touch via other ways ie thru msn, SMS, etc...
One thing is try to talk to him calmly, and if he is busy with the game, ask him to at least SMS or give you a short call to inform you that he is busy, so that you are not kept waiting...don't accuse him of taking you for granted or point fingers, try to hint in a nice way that you dun like to be kept waiting, at least if dun wan to call back must inform u first?
Good luck
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timbergurl,
Your problem is very common.
Most men however, needs a little nudge to get him moving.
If you have to give him a hard time, or ignore him for one month.
Go ahead and do it.
What is most important is to let him know certain things are important to you.
If you keep allowing him to get away with it, the problem will not stop.
Your boyfriend may be around your age, but he has demonstrated a lower maturity level than you.
You need to treat him like a little boy.
And how would you teach a little boy what is acceptable or not acceptable?
There must be consequences to his undesirable behavior, else he will think nothing of it.
That is why teachers in kindergarten gives children "time out" when they misbehave or exhibit undesirable behaviour.
Small little things that bug you now, will escalate into a volcanic explosion later.
It's better you nip it at its bud, by the time you explode, the romantic feelings for him will turn into disgust. By then, it may be too late.
Women are like pressure cookers.
We can take lots of crap from men, but if we don't vent it, we will eventually explode.
In the end, as you can see in many male forumers postings, they don't even know what hit them when their girlfriends finally call it quits.
So yes, small things will add up. Don't let it happen. -
Big problem for you... Big problem....
But to him, it's just another small matter...
What i feel is that you 2 do not understand each other much...
He don't understand that you treat it as a big problem, you don't understand why he treat it as just a small problem...
His act of "he jus told me...'jus take n give in la ...some small problem why make it so big...' " tell that he wasn't really bother about it and treat it as a small problem only...
Whereas you are feeling sad just because of that and treat that as a big problem...
Being in a relationship there is sure numbers problems... It is how both party understand each other...
I think you should try to make him to understand the situation more...
Cheers -
Phone bill theory: House telephone calls are quite cheap mah, unless you're talk about mobile phone. The mobile phone call are so EXPENSIVE!Originally posted by dumbdumb!:is he reliable in other areas?
not calling back is kinda minor la.
i think it can be classified under habit.
like since young, my parents will always complain that i like to take things and not put it back wherever it was from.
its just a habit.
maybe he saving on phonebill? or maybe he really forget, or maybe he nothing to talk to you about, so never call? maybe he's just bad at talking over the phone.
personally i'm the type who's bad at talking over phones. so i don't like to talk on phone unless like urgent, or information transfer.
if i want to let my gf know that i'm thinking abt her, i'll just drop her a msg instead.
i mean, why u want him to call you back? you got alot of things to catch up with him meh? -
get a life? you will be so busy, he will need to make an appointment just to talk to you and all the time you can give him is max 5 mins per appointment and max 3 times a day.Originally posted by TimBERgURL:it's my first post in here..well...here to start out wif my problems..
i know it is common n normal for couples to fight..however i see somethings in my relationship doesnt seems to work..i jus wonder waad sld i do?
we have been together for quite sometime..but one thing i cant stand abt him is he keep breaking minor promises...or u can consider me as 'xiao qi gui'...wadever the case..i shall continue...
we do talk during the night time cos it is the only free time i have in a day's time and everytime half way he says he will calls back during the night time...den as time pass by it is already mid night..i cant wait any longer as i have school in the morning next day...so seriously..i forget abt it and went to slp..onli the next day i ask him...he said..'sorry i forget...'...tat's all..i have to take his apologies right??if not wad else can i do?fight and make a mole out of something minor..
however recently he have been doing ths quite a lot of times...saying 'sorry i forget...'...and it is really getting me piss..to a certain extent dissappointment.and i duno wad sld i do...when i ask him n discuss abt it..he jus told me...'jus take n give in la ...some small problem why make it so big...'
his reply got me so stuck up..tat i think sometimes minor problems can rise up to become major problems..just because he is wif his frens and forgets his time n his words to me...
i find it a little upset and realise that he is taking for granted...can i know wad can i do?at least for now... -
x2!Originally posted by sEphIrOth:a man who cant keep to his words, will not keep to his word.
you dont only wan assurance that he keeps his promise, you also wan him to be someone responsible. talk to him about it? see how he feels. if all he says is just sorry without trying to change the situation, then things could just take the plunge -
Shy guy....Originally posted by TimBERgURL:[/color=blue]guys tend nt to call girls??[/color]haha..i dun talk much at all...it is the opposite..ur theory seems wrong..h
ya y zarks? -
Originally posted by TimBERgURL:i did tat..at the very end..he is busy playing his games n forget calling..his reason..
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When guys concentrate on gaming, time for them can fly very fast.... and not even aware of the time, sometime, one can't pause or quit half-way in the game to make a call to.. like what happen to my bro who used to take dinner later than us....
Probably to him, he think calling u is a minor thing for him, that why he does not seem to take it seriously. But does not mean he take u lightly.
Being a man should be keeping his words..
Does not give an quan kan to a woman.. esp when come to making wedding vow. -
find a betta bf , someone like me
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Hey TS, this is true, so trueOriginally posted by allentyb:if you want a boyfriend who is sensitive about your needs, there are plenty of them, and all we can do, is offer a listening ear, and what others will reply to you, is either, they said what you want to hear, and if those people wanted to ask you to PM them and offer you advice, don't listen to them at all, because they probably want to get to know you, and get your h/p no. and i am sure you are a smart lady, so please don't give out your h/p no. to them at all, and you are looking for a place to vent your disappointment out,
you have to draw a line somewhere, either you tell your boyfriend, that he has to buck up or you will leave him for good, because you have had enough of his nonsense, if he treasure you, he will improve,
and those people who think that i am wrong
then my post to you people, will be this ------> -
no one is perfect~
same goes to you and everybody else~ -
Hey , bastard yiha093 kid,Originally posted by yiha093:girls tend to keep talking ....
maybe thats why guys tend not to call girls at night cause they wan to
SLEEP
oh ya... TS...
be careful of zarks
You got a problem with me ? -
actually yes, but nah, cause i not good at flamingOriginally posted by Zarks:Hey , bastard yiha093 kid,
You got a problem with me ? -
heh, i said TENDOriginally posted by TimBERgURL:guys tend nt to call girls??haha..i dun talk much at all...it is the opposite..ur theory seems wrong..h
ya y zarks?
means not everyone la..
zarks ah... look at allen post lor.... -
Just think through what you wanna say to him...Originally posted by TimBERgURL:somehow i was refering the let it be the way it is..was because of the post that 2 ppl are arguing..
hah..unpleasant or aggressive tone..but im jus too straight forwards wif words..die die..really dnoo how to sweet talk..n suggest a solution..i got none..
like make it known that you are blaming him.... use a tone that you would use when u two talk about..... a movie or something pleasant...
and as for suggestions, may be ask him to try to wrap up the conversation before hanging up, so that he does need to call again... just 1 phonecall. -
meh.. small thing...
just call him back. how hard is that.
you're just playing games with him. stop that, its freaking childish. -
u are 18 only
still young still can find other betta bf
dump him !
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If u want to dump him, please pass it to me, I got lots of my gfs still wait to have a bf.Originally posted by gunner77:u are 18 only
still young still can find other betta bf
dump him !
Angel
The dumped bf collector.