Sianz...I contemplating divorce
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TS oreddy calmed down now is your turn>Originally posted by cloud210:I'm with TS, whether it is empty threats or threats shows the girl has no consideration for you. She think its fun, she get a kick out of it when she see you giving in to her threats. The threats will never end. She thinks she is superior than you while telling you she is feeling very stress about your mom coming.
As much as you do not like/want your mother to come in, she is forcing you(although you're willing) to chase your mother away. Now the topic is your mother, and you happen to agree with her, next time when she want something, and you don't agree how? And what if by then, you both have kids, it will be more complicated by then. She is someone who can share your happiness, and leave you in the lurch when things turn for the worse. You will continue to be her slave if you continue not to do anything.
Tell her what you feel and solve the problems together, also talk about the underlying problems such as her attitude, or just divorce when she mentions it again.
Anyhow trigger happy say divorce shows she has no respect/commitment to you and the relationship. It also shows she will never sacrifice herself for you although you as a man should not let her be, but somethings it's beyond your control.
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but TS.. if this happened to me, i will just divorce..
what the hell for me to have an unsupportive immature lady as my wife? Man, i cant live with that seriously. She still never learn her mistake ,doesnt she ? DIvorce ba.. i believe u shud be with some1 who really support you and dont complain this and that then divorce divorce divorce... -
Sit down with ur wife and talk it all through...Originally posted by Frustrated_guy:There is no three of us trashing it out. I am on my wife's side with regards to moving into the new house. I will prevent my folks from interrupting us. Now the problem is my wife wants out here and there. So be it loh.
maybe there's little actions (that you are not aware of) here and there that makes her think that you are not totally on her side?
Maybe it's a totally different issue that's bothering her?
Talk to her calmly and clearly... make sure she knows where you stand, and how her bringing up divorce every now and then is making u feel...
give this marriage a chance, see a counsellor if need be, -
What a dumb thing to get a divorce for
1 issue like this and both of you cannot even sit down to talk like adults and try to straighten it out with solutions
How old are you guys and why did you even get married in the first place? -
not agitated larOriginally posted by Short Ninja:TS oreddy calmed down now is your turn>
I trying to tell him, solve their problem by talking or just divorce. Next time choose girl choose properly. Even when ROM liao den she start mentioning want break-up/divorce, just take it.
Happy then "i love u", stress then "i wan to divorce you", sad then "i missed you, will you come back to me?". Treat men as what? soccer ball ar
Relax, just pointing out certain things I've noticed.
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Previoulsy TS posted this problem thread, settled already... but u dun know how unsupportive her wife is... if i were him, i cant live in peace too..TS already did find the solution, and they got better already previously but now his wife making problem like a kid againOriginally posted by elindra:What a dumb thing to get a divorce for
1 issue like this and both of you cannot even sit down to talk like adults and try to straighten it out with solutions
How old are you guys and why did you even get married in the first place? -
i think we better dun talk bout how they get to know each other and get married? to me, its very stupid and pointless cuz u cant change the past... how do u even know u would ended up breaking with your lover one day ?
PLus , before and after marriage, things will be different... -
TS, just follow your heart.. i dun think you've been really happy bout this over and over again.. perhaps she thought you wont really divorce her and use this thing to threaten you? Maybe she thinks its a joke to have fun with that.. well show it to her if you really not happy bout this
Time to let go what you cant stand bout her already.. time to be a real man. hiding your feeling only make you pretentious -
Frustrated_Guy,
Idiot.
How did your wife find out about your mom wanting to sell her flat to move in with you ?
You big mouth go and complain to your wife , right ?
Rule #11
Don't complain about your wife to your mom.
Don't complain about your mom to your wife.
Rule # 25
Don't tell your wife what your mom says about your wife.
Don't tell your mom what your wife says about your mom.
You cannot quietly deal with your mother without letting your wife know meh ?
Next time, keep the affairs with your two woman separate.
Your mom wants to move in with you guys.
Issit because she lives in a small 3 room flat, while you and your wife bought a executive condo ?
If yes, then surely your mom wants to move in with you lah.
She scrimped and save to raise you , now you adult liao your fortune is not shared with her, but with another WOMAN.
Women are all prone to resentments and jealousy.
If you still haven't get this in your head yet. Your road ahead is perilous. -
hmm. in christian term, a married couple is of one flesh. means the husband and wife are as one body, and one mind.
thats why the bible said, the man will leave his family to be joint as one with the wife.
the husband loyalty should be with the wife, he should support her views, over grey area issues. -
lubbish. dun anyhw teech.
dat means "honour thy parents" is fake one loh. -
Yeah loh. Trigger happy divorce. If you have any lawyer office, pls recommend and pm me. I wanna ready my bullets liao.Originally posted by cloud210:I'm with TS, whether it is empty threats or threats shows the girl has no consideration for you. She think its fun, she get a kick out of it when she see you giving in to her threats. The threats will never end. She thinks she is superior than you while telling you she is feeling very stress about your mom coming.
As much as you do not like/want your mother to come in, she is forcing you(although you're willing) to chase your mother away. Now the topic is your mother, and you happen to agree with her, next time when she want something, and you don't agree how? And what if by then, you both have kids, it will be more complicated by then. She is someone who can share your happiness, and leave you in the lurch when things turn for the worse. You will continue to be her slave if you continue not to do anything.
Tell her what you feel and solve the problems together, also talk about the underlying problems such as her attitude, or just divorce when she mentions it again.
Anyhow trigger happy say divorce shows she has no respect/commitment to you and the relationship. It also shows she will never sacrifice herself for you although you as a man should not let her be, but somethings it's beyond your control. -
You are still in your frustration mode, manage your emotions b4 u managed the problem.Originally posted by Frustrated_guy:Yeah loh. Trigger happy divorce. If you have any lawyer office, pls recommend and pm me. I wanna ready my bullets liao.
Have a peace talk with her, communication is very much important in a relationship, be it kinship or marriage.
Talk it thru. -
Mothers are sacred.
If she wants to stay with you....let her stay.
Wife takes second ranking to mother...always! -
Are you a mother ?Originally posted by Clandestine:Mothers are sacred.
If she wants to stay with you....let her stay.
Wife takes second ranking to mother...always! -
You are a person with a high likelihood to clash with your daughter in-law.Originally posted by Clandestine:Mothers are sacred.
If she wants to stay with you....let her stay.
Wife takes second ranking to mother...always! -
I think your wife is being manipultive.
There are people who threaten suicide, to get their way.
Your wife uses divorce.
Suicide you have to be careful.
Divorce, you can try to call her bluff.
Find out
IF she is serious.
IF she is manipulative.
IF she is just frustrated.
You have a 2 out of 3 chance for divorce.
Anyway, a seasoned divorce lawyer will suggest councelling first, before proceeding. That will be one last chance for both of you.
You should be going through married life as a TOGETHER, and not have divorce hanging over your head all the time, you owe yourself that duty at the very least. -
erm, me is genuinely concerned loh. u may hv dis misinterpretation of the bible; pls allow me to take the liberty to share wif u on my take.
exodus 20:12
honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
n dis means fer as long as u exist, regardless of whether u married oladi anot. -
U talk so easy, wait till u r staying with yr mother-in-law then u know it's hellOriginally posted by Clandestine:Mothers are sacred.
If she wants to stay with you....let her stay.
Wife takes second ranking to mother...always!
She will try to interrupt in whatever u r doing
U will be treated like a slave *believe me I have gone through it*
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Ya, got wife forget mommy liao...very typical of Sg men.
Then later got mistress, forget wife liao... -
u canot say clandestine liddat de leh.
i wud wan my husband to listen to me. bt i oso dunwan him to b unfilial.
i may b bad to my mother, bt dat doesnt meant her dotter-in-law can b the same. -
hm i prefer to live with my wife without parents.. i dont wan them to help this and that. THey should already relax and us husband wife settle and worry bout own thing. PLus living together very hard as wat ppl said, Simple misunderstanding between in-law can cause serious problem.
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this is misguided...the spouse is first after marriage, unless that half is unreasonable......but continue to honour and be filial to the parents.....husband and wife must always stand together against adversity...but given the modern disregard for family values, i see many selfish parties....Originally posted by Clandestine:Mothers are sacred.
If she wants to stay with you....let her stay.
Wife takes second ranking to mother...always! -
u den misguided ah. who says the spouse is 1st one.
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hear ye hear ye,
Those debating about which woman in TS life is more important.
They are both important.
In TS's case, the mother got her own home ok ?
It is not like TS abandon her.
Wife don't want to live with mother in-law, got good reason sometimes.
Some mother in-laws can be very bossy and unreasonable.
Especially those that don't have daughters.
In modern Singapore's context, the houses are "compact".
Not like ages ago when the houses are sprawling with more personal space.
I mean, come on lah. Your sex drive will take a nose dive when the parents are around . OK ?
You can make love to your wife/husband when your mother is in the same house meh ?
Cannot make noise, cannot have spontaneous sex in the kitchen.
Too much restriction is no good for marriage life mah.