Broken up but..
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Hi,
I've posted earlier.. The thing is now, although he is with the other girl, I told him I will wait for him.
Right now he says he doesn't know why we broke up, he knows he still loves me but he cannot and will not choose between me and the girl until his financial problems have been solved.
Our relationship right now is, like we see each other and sms occasionally. Will still hug and stuffs if we see each other.
The reason why he 'diverted' his love to the girl was that she was able to provide him comfort during his troubled time while i couldn't, hence he started to like her yada yada..
So we have officially broken up but it's not totally over between us. I know it is quite stupid to still be hanging on to this guy but I just wanna look for suggestion as to how can i cope with this emotional duress every single day as well as what i could do to show that i am more 'understanding' towards him, ignoring the stupidity part.
Emotional duress in that, everyday I just wonder how all these happened and how the focus of his life has been switched to that girl and everytime I passed by places that we have been to, I will subconsciously wonder if he brought her there and if they were as happy as we were.
It's just hard to concentrate on other things.. I cannot 'complain' or bring any of these to his attention because he will get pissed off/irritated by me and he will 'threaten' to end it between us once and for all.
Welcome any helpful suggestions but please don't say how stupid this is and all. This is my decision for the time being.. -
That is what happens when you do not make a clean break. You feel bad all the time. Just enjoy it then, all the bad feelings. It is not going to go away until you make a clean break. Since you are not willing to make a clean break, then, enjoy the bad feelings that comes with not making a clean break.
This is why people make clean breaks, but you do not want to. You do not want to, you will feel bad all the time until you make a clean break.
OK I will say it one last time.
Expect to feel bad and know that you will continue to feel bad until you decide to make a clean break and until you make a clean break. -
I know I will feel this way if I do not make a clean break and I expect to feel this way. Just thinking if there is any way to divert my attention to more positive things. Thanks for your reply.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:That is what happens when you do not make a clean break. You feel bad all the time. Just enjoy it then, all the bad feelings. It is not going to go away until you make a clean break. Since you are not willing to make a clean break, then, enjoy the bad feelings that comes with not making a clean break.
This is why people make clean breaks, but you do not want to. You do not want to, you will feel bad all the time until you make a clean break.
OK I will say it one last time.
Expect to feel bad and know that you will continue to feel bad until you decide to make a clean break and until you make a clean break. -
u should've jz clean split... theres plenty guys out there so no need to wait for him... u hv jz signed urself up as a spare tyre...Originally posted by tinuviel07:Hi,
I've posted earlier.. The thing is now, although he is with the other girl, I told him I will wait for him.
Right now he says he doesn't know why we broke up, he knows he still loves me but he cannot and will not choose between me and the girl until his financial problems have been solved.
Our relationship right now is, like we see each other and sms occasionally. Will still hug and stuffs if we see each other.
The reason why he 'diverted' his love to the girl was that she was able to provide him comfort during his troubled time while i couldn't, hence he started to like her yada yada..
So we have officially broken up but it's not totally over between us. I know it is quite stupid to still be hanging on to this guy but I just wanna look for suggestion as to how can i cope with this emotional duress every single day as well as what i could do to show that i am more 'understanding' towards him, ignoring the stupidity part.
Emotional duress in that, everyday I just wonder how all these happened and how the focus of his life has been switched to that girl and everytime I passed by places that we have been to, I will subconsciously wonder if he brought her there and if they were as happy as we were.
It's just hard to concentrate on other things.. I cannot 'complain' or bring any of these to his attention because he will get pissed off/irritated by me and he will 'threaten' to end it between us once and for all.
Welcome any helpful suggestions but please don't say how stupid this is and all. This is my decision for the time being.. -
I love you but I love another girl also.
like that also can?? -
tinuviel,
So you have officially become his other woman.
While he goes home to sleep with that girl.
Does his current girlfriend knows about the contact between you and him ?
Or is yours now a secret affair ?
Irony isn't it ?
Previously, he cheats on you with her.
Now he cheats with you behind her back.
Previously he uses you to bring in the dough.
Now that he depends on her to settle his financial woes.
I'm sorry girl, but this kind of man...... is not a man.
You know the meaning " eat soft rice" ?
Do you really think this kind of person is what you truly deserve ?
Frankly, if you lelong lelong him for cheap... many wouldn't even bother.
So he says it was your fault he left you for another girl ?
So he says you are not good enough for him that is why he runs to her arms ?
Please girl, is it really ALL your fault ? No girl, he's just a user, and he's not taking responsibilities for nuts.
Next time when life dealt him another blow, he's gonna run off to another woman's arm again, and it's going to be also your fault ?
Go ahead, stick with him, let him have his cake and eat it too.
How do you think the other girl will think if she knows she is only his comfort food ?
So it is ok for him to make use of her right now ?
If I were you , I'd call her up and tell her all about it.
No girl, you are not stupid.
You are just LONELY.
You just need a rebound guy. Go ahead find yourself one. -
this is real stupid.
how can love be shared? are u fine with him hugging and kissing some other girl other than you? are you fine with he saying the same things to the other girl 30mins after he left the comfort of your arms?
why subject yourself to such torture? why put urself through such pain?
move on and grow up. -
he wants the best of two.
he is selfish.
he just want a spare in case tat r/s dun work out well.
been ter done tat.
wake up ba..
its all lies.. -
i will foresee he will desert the current one when a better one than the current one comes by.
Just because u cannot satisfy him financially, he have to temporary leave you. Your boyfriend is merely looking for a sugar-mommy, i pity the one who is currently with him now, you should be happy that he is no longer with you and i will higher recommend that you can detached yrself off him.
Do not be in someone's shadows unless you choose to be the victim by decision.
You have a choice, move on and do not regret this decision.
Your this so called boyfriend will soon be brought to decent justice if some other party's brother is someone not to be trifled with. There are dramas happening so often..
Enjoy Singlehood.
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TS. Be decisive! If not,the person suffer in the end will be u.
Don't be fool by the ' I still love u and I don't know why we break?'
U still let him hug??? -
Yep I understand what you all mean exactly.. Well let him have his own fun and I shall have mine..
Singlehood is great but gets a little lonely at times..
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Yes you can temporarily divert your attention to more positive things but all in all, you will still feel bad... so just accept it or make a clean break.Originally posted by tinuviel07:I know I will feel this way if I do not make a clean break and I expect to feel this way. Just thinking if there is any way to divert my attention to more positive things. Thanks for your reply. -
alright..Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:Yes you can temporarily divert your attention to more positive things but all in all, you will still feel bad... so just accept it or make a clean break.
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to TS... which girl are u ??
http://www.friendster.com/photos/ -
centre?Originally posted by spycampers:
to TS... which girl are u ??
http://www.friendster.com/photos/ -
This is totally stupid, a total downgrade and disgrace of our gals pride and status.
You are nothing but a second hand slut, if what i say here can wake you up, i dun mind get scolded by you. -
haha.. what's there to scold.. i know and i understand.. bit by bit maybe i'll let go..Originally posted by angel7030:This is totally stupid, a total downgrade and disgrace of our gals pride and status.
You are nothing but a second hand slut, if what i say here can wake you up, i dun mind get scolded by you. -
centre is kute...Originally posted by tinuviel07:centre?
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If that is your decision, we respect it - you suffer the consequences, we can't live your life for you.
Andrew was right to suggest a clean break; dump or keep his stuff till you're okay, no contacts and all. As cruel as it seems, it would help a lot in your recovery phase.
However, you decide against it. And choose to step on an emotional trap, as much as the online community could offer you the most rationale advice, we can't dictate you life.
As for how wise your decision is, you already know.
I can only wish you all the best. Remember you can choose to be a victim, or be a heroine and a role model to all whom's trapped in your plight. You seem intelligent, I hope you will use more head than heart this time. All the best. -
Well.. Right now my decision is to see him as little as possible.. I'm ok with being friends.. Most of the time I'm feeling alright.. I hope I'll use my head a little more too..Originally posted by Detached:If that is your decision, we respect it - you suffer the consequences, we can't live your life for you.
Andrew was right to suggest a clean break; dump or keep his stuff till you're okay, no contacts and all. As cruel as it seems, it would help a lot in your recovery phase.
However, you decide against it. And choose to step on an emotional trap, as much as the online community could offer you the most rationale advice, we can't dictate you life.
As for how wise your decision is, you already know.
I can only wish you all the best. Remember you can choose to be a victim, or be a heroine and a role model to all whom's trapped in your plight. You seem intelligent, I hope you will use more head than heart this time. All the best. -
Now it's not a good time for you to be friends, I'm sure everyone would agree with me.Originally posted by tinuviel07:Well.. Right now my decision is to see him as little as possible.. I'm ok with being friends.. Most of the time I'm feeling alright.. I hope I'll use my head a little more too..
But that much been said, you're not that young anymore. You make your own decisions and all. One bad choice might lead to another, so I implore you to take caution.
It's a difficult period, I totally understand. May it be over soon and you turn out to be a wiser person. -
For the first time, i agree with what you said and find what you said rather amusing.Originally posted by AndrewPKYap:That is what happens when you do not make a clean break. You feel bad all the time. Just enjoy it then, all the bad feelings. It is not going to go away until you make a clean break. Since you are not willing to make a clean break, then, enjoy the bad feelings that comes with not making a clean break.
This is why people make clean breaks, but you do not want to. You do not want to, you will feel bad all the time until you make a clean break.
OK I will say it one last time.
Expect to feel bad and know that you will continue to feel bad until you decide to make a clean break and until you make a clean break.
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tongue twisterOriginally posted by blu_sky:For the first time, i agree with what you said and find what you said rather amusing. -
try to be away frm each other.
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Agree with what jo jo said totally.Originally posted by jojobeach:tinuviel,
So you have officially become his other woman.
While he goes home to sleep with that girl.
Does his current girlfriend knows about the contact between you and him ?
Or is yours now a secret affair ?
Irony isn't it ?
Previously, he cheats on you with her.
Now he cheats with you behind her back.
Previously he uses you to bring in the dough.
Now that he depends on her to settle his financial woes.
I'm sorry girl, but this kind of man...... is not a man.
You know the meaning " eat soft rice" ?
Do you really think this kind of person is what you truly deserve ?
Frankly, if you lelong lelong him for cheap... many wouldn't even bother.
So he says it was your fault he left you for another girl ?
So he says you are not good enough for him that is why he runs to her arms ?
Please girl, is it really ALL your fault ? No girl, he's just a user, and he's not taking responsibilities for nuts.
Next time when life dealt him another blow, he's gonna run off to another woman's arm again, and it's going to be also your fault ?
Go ahead, stick with him, let him have his cake and eat it too.
How do you think the other girl will think if she knows she is only his comfort food ?
So it is ok for him to make use of her right now ?
If I were you , I'd call her up and tell her all about it.
No girl, you are not stupid.
You are just LONELY.
You just need a rebound guy. Go ahead find yourself one.
this guy is a user, relying and using women, jumping from one ship from another, and you still want him? Seriously, lelong lelong cheap cheap or free i think you also shouldnt want. (i find jo jo's way of putting it very funny and cute too )
perhaps you are thinking of 'using' him, hopefully after some time, you will get better and then leave him totally.
Despite i know you will carry on with your plan, i hope to remind you that by taking this route, you will just get more jaded.
*pats
