Broken up but..
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Naggy, but surprisingly, funnyOriginally posted by tinuviel07:tongue twister
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Originally posted by blu_sky:
yup maybe you got that right..
Agree with what jo jo said totally.
this guy is a user, relying and using women, jumping from one ship from another, and you still want him? Seriously, lelong lelong cheap cheap or free i think you also shouldnt want. (i find jo jo's way of putting it very funny and cute too )
[b]perhaps you are thinking of 'using' him, hopefully after some time, you will get better and then leave him totally.
Despite i know you will carry on with your plan, i hope to remind you that by taking this route, you will just get more jaded.
*pats[/b] -
Looks to me like you have a clear grasp of "the right thing to do" at this point.
What you should do is obvious...
Why and How to do it seems to be the issue.
If you don't end it with this "ex" for yourself...ending it to preserve the respect you have for yourself....you end up hurting yourself...and that cut is usually the deepest..
You sound like you're gonna be fine though.
You just have to realise that you shouldn't look to other people to look after your best interests. Only you can do that for yourself.
Live Well Ts~ Hope you find the strength you need.
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He doesn't know why u 2 break up? He "divert" his love to the other girl because she can provide him with comfort, and u can't?Originally posted by tinuviel07:Hi,
I've posted earlier.. The thing is now, although he is with the other girl, I told him I will wait for him.
Right now he says he doesn't know why we broke up, he knows he still loves me but he cannot and will not choose between me and the girl until his financial problems have been solved.
Our relationship right now is, like we see each other and sms occasionally. Will still hug and stuffs if we see each other.
The reason why he 'diverted' his love to the girl was that she was able to provide him comfort during his troubled time while i couldn't, hence he started to like her yada yada..
So we have officially broken up but it's not totally over between us. I know it is quite stupid to still be hanging on to this guy but I just wanna look for suggestion as to how can i cope with this emotional duress every single day as well as what i could do to show that i am more 'understanding' towards him, ignoring the stupidity part.
Emotional duress in that, everyday I just wonder how all these happened and how the focus of his life has been switched to that girl and everytime I passed by places that we have been to, I will subconsciously wonder if he brought her there and if they were as happy as we were.
It's just hard to concentrate on other things.. I cannot 'complain' or bring any of these to his attention because he will get pissed off/irritated by me and he will 'threaten' to end it between us once and for all.
Welcome any helpful suggestions but please don't say how stupid this is and all. This is my decision for the time being..
These 2 problems alone is more than summarise ur relationship with him. For a guy who can fall in love easily for that type of excuse, u sure have lots of patience in wanting to wait for him. You can wait all u want, but so what even if u 2 got back together? You 2 don't solve the problem now, and instead rather wanna wait until he solve his financial problem then face the problem together. Sorry if I sound cynical, but i highly doubt u 2 will last long should u 2 get back together again.
You may have told him u will wait, but there is no indication as to how long u would have 2 wait. A person's youth is limited. You cannot wait forever. Get on with life, indulge urself in ur fave activities and get to know more people. -
Agree with Detached.Originally posted by Detached:Now it's not a good time for you to be friends, I'm sure everyone would agree with me.
But that much been said, you're not that young anymore. You make your own decisions and all. One bad choice might lead to another, so I implore you to take caution.
It's a difficult period, I totally understand. May it be over soon and you turn out to be a wiser person.
THe only real time that after a breakup which both side can remain as friends are when both side understand the reasons(admit it and repent) of break up(accept each other 's fault)and at the same time know both are no way going back as couple again...
How can u accept back yr ex as friend when he is still scheming against u and again and again trying to toy with yr mind and feeling to suit his own purpose?
Is that the way a real friends treat u? Be away from such person who has full of evil plans and thought. It is not abt being petty and u can't accept the breakup to the extend of not remaining basic ocntact with each others. In the first place,It is abt whether he accept the break up and admit his own mistake!
Repent is abt admiting own mistake and making an effort not to do it again,ridding of its evil thought.
Just like people telling u to be gracious and hire and ex convict but if he no way corrected his past and intend to commit crimes again. Such person is no way to be sympathy and give a chance again. Leave away from this kind of person as far as possible. -
The guy broke up with you to be with another girl, and yet still hugs you when you two meet?
And you are fine with this status duo?
I'm sorry I have to say this. In fact, I think I've never said this before, but:
Where is your self-dignity?
You allow yourself to be reduced to nothing much more than a toy and puppet.
Wake up.
The guy only wants to have the both of two worlds.
Start loving yourself. -
Nice work ppl!!
TS... i see that the cards are already laid
pick one, and proceed, dont look back k -
thanks guys.. anyway i know even if we got back together, we don't have a future because he's obviously going to do it again..
just takes time to let go i guess.. given that you spent practically 24/7 with that guy..
and about self-respect, pride and all that.. yeah i used to have a lot of that.. he claimed that i was too.. full of principles.. so i thought maybe i'll try to tone down a little.. haha.. -
Hi,Originally posted by tinuviel07:thanks guys.. anyway i know even if we got back together, we don't have a future because he's obviously going to do it again..
just takes time to let go i guess.. given that you spent practically 24/7 with that guy..
and about self-respect, pride and all that.. yeah i used to have a lot of that.. he claimed that i was too.. full of principles.. so i thought maybe i'll try to tone down a little.. haha..
Let the healing begins ~~~~
Good Luck!
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Yes, it is true that you may or should soften a little and bring out the femine side of yourself rather than being so opinionted, but it should be done for the right person and right reasons.Originally posted by tinuviel07:thanks guys.. anyway i know even if we got back together, we don't have a future because he's obviously going to do it again..
just takes time to let go i guess.. given that you spent practically 24/7 with that guy..
and about self-respect, pride and all that.. yeah i used to have a lot of that.. he claimed that i was too.. full of principles.. so i thought maybe i'll try to tone down a little.. haha.. -
TS should try asking that guy to wait for her instead, then go find other guys in the meantime, so that you can have a spare tyre if the new rs doesn't work out.Originally posted by Cool-gal:he wants the best of two.
he is selfish.
he just want a spare in case tat r/s dun work out well.
been ter done tat.
wake up ba..
its all lies..
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i was thinking of that too lol.. but don't want la.. yu xin bu ren..Originally posted by LatecomerX:TS should try asking that guy to wait for her instead, then go find other guys in the meantime, so that you can have a spare tyre if the new rs doesn't work out. -
ur just losing out if u continue this way....
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continue what way? i don't contact him le ma..Originally posted by tinuviel07:i was thinking of that too lol.. but don't want la.. yu xin bu ren.. -
TS, no one can help u already... your heart is in prison...the only way to get out is to think of the way to unlock the door and beat all the guards ... if you never use ur brain, then u will stay in prison forever...
Since you're in prison , u dont know whats goin on outside or watever ppl do outside... and u might got cheated easily when ppl tell u something
Im sorry to say, this is a battle of your own.. whther u wanna regret in the future. or be successful in future.. u got good heart but seems u use ur heart more than your brains... it is your own battle and no one can help you this time.
Hope you choose the right path.. and dont regret
and stop bullshyting bout u know u and him cant be together.. we all know you bullshyting by talking bout that and yet u n him still talk and HUGS.. wow
For now, your heart is stronger than your brain and its dangerous..
Best of luck -
Actually there is no prison in the first place, there prison of the heart is imaginary. The mirage is conjured by our memories and the feeling that make it seems so real in our mind, yet in the end it will just fade away.
Maybe it didn't last but at least u were loved once.
It definitely takes time to " fang xia lai". -
I believe in not contacting your ex for at least a year or more after you have broken up with him...that's why all my ex-es are no longer my frens
It works easier this way, you won't need to worry about being swayed as well