Being close with your ex-crush
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Hi
Recently, my crush, got attached. Of course at first I was sad all that la.. considering I have jio her for quite a long period of time all that.
She's one of my closer classmates around and because she got attached recently, I tend to move away from her a little bit.
But after yesterday conversation with her on msn, I realised that after the "seperation", both of us do really miss each other company. She still treats me as a good friend.
My qn is..
Is it ok for us to be as close as last time? Just as good friends? What I worry is that the gal bf will mind. Considering that he knows I use to like her.
Btw, me and the guy only meet once or twice. Doubt we recognize each other if we meet on the streets. So, cat say much about the guy character. -
Give them your blessings my friend. Let the thought of being together with her be erased; Knowing thyself should not Po Tong Ja Lan.
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I'm not talking about wanting to potong jalan them. Thats why I ask here whether it's ok for me to be close to her and will her bf mind?Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:Give them your blessings my friend. Let the thought of being together with her be erased; Knowing thyself should not Po Tong Ja Lan.
I just want to know whether it's ok for me to be close friend with her again or not?
In fact, she still ask me whether I want to join her go study with her after sch.. but cause I'm unsure, I rejected those invitation.. -
If academically you can help her, then you should join her study after school.
If you just want to join her for the sake of getting close to her, then better not. -
Would you rather the two of you be at war?
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I dont think I'll be helping her academically.. I think it's more of accompany each other in sch.Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:If academically you can help her, then you should join her study after school.
If you just want to join her for the sake of getting close to her, then better not.
You know la.. sometimes at night the school library can be very deserted one.. and can be very sian alone there..
I have moved on from those episodes..
I'm just glad that she's happier and got what she wanted.
but if I going cause any misunderstanding or cause a break up or anything, I rather step back and continue wad I'm doing which is stray away from her though how sucky and lonely it gets knowing that a friend is nearby but cant join her cause of various reason.. -
No war la.. just become hi bye friends in school.Originally posted by :Would you rather the two of you be at war? -
Originally posted by ifish:I dont think I'll be helping her academically.. I think it's more of accompany each other in sch.
You know la.. sometimes at night the school library can be very deserted one.. and can be very sian alone there..
I have moved on from those episodes..
I'm just glad that she's happier and got what she wanted.
but if I going cause any misunderstanding or cause a break up or anything, I rather step back and continue wad I'm doing which is stray away from her though how sucky and lonely it gets knowing that a friend is nearby but cant join her cause of various reason..
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finish your school first
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I face this type of situation before.
Look at it this way, the girl needs companion from you, not love. You might get yourself fall in love again thus being hurt again by this same girl.
Close friends is fine as long as you can take the risk in the future, this girl will treat you this way when you are her bf again, she might be close with another guy(s)
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u dont know meh? All gals got this stupid habit which is when they are lonely or need company , they will find you.. then when they dont, they never know u existed la... this is very normal.. some shyt gals also like to takes things for granted and lie this and that just to make you help her.
My advice, is that you better dun stay too close with her.. nothing bout her bf would mind or not, but seems u had this crush for her and being close to the one you like once will somehow hurt u and im afraid you cant let go thinking of her if its goin deeper and deeper..
just stay as normal fren.. dun have to be that close like b4.. whos the one in agony ? its u , not her.. so, its ur life... choose the best for you dude.. -
hi ifis,
such a weird thing's to talk, but it's something that often happening in life.
first thing is first, i dont thing is wrong if you guys just want to be FRIENDS? but do you think you guys can really mean to be friends? or you still have a feeling for her? beside that i dont think her BF can accept that. Let's say if he do, you still have to think for your self, Dont you think you should be the one to suport her, and bless her. I'm just affraid that the HUMANITY things will happen OVER again.
Let's talk if you in her BF position lor..
what do you think and what would you do? -
what darkie is saying is if u can control ur emotions well, why stop being good friends.....just don't be the 3rd party eventually, that's all.Originally posted by ifish:I'm not talking about wanting to potong jalan them. Thats why I ask here whether it's ok for me to be close to her and will her bf mind?
I just want to know whether it's ok for me to be close friend with her again or not?
In fact, she still ask me whether I want to join her go study with her after sch.. but cause I'm unsure, I rejected those invitation..
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Hello ifish, actually it is still possible to be friends with her. But it depends if she still want you to be her close friend like before. Naturally a girl will miss her close friend like yourself when she's attached...but that's is if both of you are really close friends before she's attached.
Another thing is, are you mentally prepared to accept and listen to all her happy stories with her bf? I'm sure you won't mind their troubles and would even be more keen to give her your attention if you know that their relationship are on the rocks!
She probably will not be able to spend time with you as a close friend like before and eventually you will realised that all she wanted was for you to be always there and around for her. IT doesn't matter to her a bit if she's not spending enough friendship time with you cos she's not going to spend a single bit of her time and emotion calculating the time you think she should at least spent with you.
If you can and is willing to accept all this, then go ahead reclaimed back your friendship with her. I feel that it's better to let you know about it before you realised the truth in the future and things can turn sour when you finally accept the fact that you're not that important to her and you have always been used by her. Being used is probably one of the worst things that can happened to a guy and I know that most girls can claim guilty on that.
Good Luck.Originally posted by ifish:Hi
Recently, my crush, got attached. Of course at first I was sad all that la.. considering I have jio her for quite a long period of time all that.
She's one of my closer classmates around and because she got attached recently, I tend to move away from her a little bit.
But after yesterday conversation with her on msn, I realised that after the "seperation", both of us do really miss each other company. She still treats me as a good friend.
My qn is..
Is it ok for us to be as close as last time? Just as good friends? What I worry is that the gal bf will mind. Considering that he knows I use to like her.
Btw, me and the guy only meet once or twice. Doubt we recognize each other if we meet on the streets. So, cat say much about the guy character. -
hmm.. if i'm the bf..Originally posted by Phoebe Ng:hi ifis,
such a weird thing's to talk, but it's something that often happening in life.
first thing is first, i dont thing is wrong if you guys just want to be FRIENDS? but do you think you guys can really mean to be friends? or you still have a feeling for her? beside that i dont think her BF can accept that. Let's say if he do, you still have to think for your self, Dont you think you should be the one to suport her, and bless her. I'm just affraid that the HUMANITY things will happen OVER again.
Let's talk if you in her BF position lor..
what do you think and what would you do?
I believe I can trust her as long as she's truthful to me.
eg. never hide hide say study alone but actually studyin with other guys la..
and wads the HUMANITY thing? dont get it -
your call lor.
you are not going to date the girl. why worry? -
how u lost? she reject u or u didnt make move? since she got bf better stay away lo... unless she is the one who come find u...Originally posted by ifish:Hi
Recently, my crush, got attached. Of course at first I was sad all that la.. considering I have jio her for quite a long period of time all that.
She's one of my closer classmates around and because she got attached recently, I tend to move away from her a little bit.
But after yesterday conversation with her on msn, I realised that after the "seperation", both of us do really miss each other company. She still treats me as a good friend.
My qn is..
Is it ok for us to be as close as last time? Just as good friends? What I worry is that the gal bf will mind. Considering that he knows I use to like her.
Btw, me and the guy only meet once or twice. Doubt we recognize each other if we meet on the streets. So, cat say much about the guy character. -
She have always treated me as a close friend.. Thats what I think. I'm the one who wanted to bring the r/s to the next level..Originally posted by parn:Hello ifish, actually it is still possible to be friends with her. But it depends if she still want you to be her close friend like before. Naturally a girl will miss her close friend like yourself when she's attached...but that's is if both of you are really close friends before she's attached.
Another thing is, are you mentally prepared to accept and listen to all her happy stories with her bf? I'm sure you won't mind their troubles and would even be more keen to give her your attention if you know that their relationship are on the rocks!
She probably will not be able to spend time with you as a close friend like before and eventually you will realised that all she wanted was for you to be always there and around for her. IT doesn't matter to her a bit if she's not spending enough friendship time with you cos she's not going to spend a single bit of her time and emotion calculating the time you think she should at least spent with you.
If you can and is willing to accept all this, then go ahead reclaimed back your friendship with her. I feel that it's better to let you know about it before you realised the truth in the future and things can turn sour when you finally accept the fact that you're not that important to her and you have always been used by her. Being used is probably one of the worst things that can happened to a guy and I know that most girls can claim guilty on that.
Good Luck.
and about the hearing part, it's not anything new coming from her.. her current bf was actually from her pass r/s. They broke up for 1 year and now patch again. Of course I was hurt time and again hearing about their happy times but on another hand, I'm just glad she's happy.
I know the closeness will never be the same.. seeing that last time we use to msg everyday about everything and now, nothing at all. Not even a simple hi message.
and i agree with you about being used. I feel that way but dont know why i never stop doing them. -
Gotten rejected but still remain close friend so cling to that tiny small hope. but now no hope liao..Originally posted by BrUtUs:how u lost? she reject u or u didnt make move? since she got bf better stay away lo... unless she is the one who come find u...
anyway.. it's she find me to find her if I'm free or when I'm lonely and feeling bored. Cause last time both of us only hang out together alone.. but now ever since she got attach we "seperated". So now both of us dont really belongs to any group and hang out mostly alone. -
you never know when the spark re-ignites...
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if u ok being jz frens then continue on lo.. but dun hope much... go jio other gals out... there r many trees in forest...Originally posted by ifish:Gotten rejected but still remain close friend so cling to that tiny small hope. but now no hope liao..
anyway.. it's she find me to find her if I'm free or when I'm lonely and feeling bored. Cause last time both of us only hang out together alone.. but now ever since she got attach we "seperated". So now both of us dont really belongs to any group and hang out mostly alone. -
You worry the girl's bf will mind? That's not an issue. Please, you actually worry more of whether she will like you. If she likes you, who cares about the boyfriend?Originally posted by ifish:Hi
Recently, my crush, got attached. Of course at first I was sad all that la.. considering I have jio her for quite a long period of time all that.
She's one of my closer classmates around and because she got attached recently, I tend to move away from her a little bit.
But after yesterday conversation with her on msn, I realised that after the "seperation", both of us do really miss each other company. She still treats me as a good friend.
My qn is..
Is it ok for us to be as close as last time? Just as good friends? What I worry is that the gal bf will mind. Considering that he knows I use to like her.
Btw, me and the guy only meet once or twice. Doubt we recognize each other if we meet on the streets. So, cat say much about the guy character.
I think you just forget her k? Don't waste your time and life on her.
The only thing she can help is intro more female friends to you. That's it.
For all the talk about missing each other, deep down you have a crush for her but what about her? Does she feel the same way for you? If no, I suggest you don't waste your time.
If she truly likes you, why can't she dump her boyfriend and be with you?
There are tons of girls that are worth looking instead of wasting your time on others who don't dig you except only for companionship.
If friendship is only what you are looking for, then go ahead.
doko -
As long she is not married u still stand a chance...
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Hi I have an advice for you. It may sound stupid BUT if you really were to think about it, you will get what I mean.Originally posted by ifish:Hi
Recently, my crush, got attached. Of course at first I was sad all that la.. considering I have jio her for quite a long period of time all that.
She's one of my closer classmates around and because she got attached recently, I tend to move away from her a little bit.
But after yesterday conversation with her on msn, I realised that after the "seperation", both of us do really miss each other company. She still treats me as a good friend.
My qn is..
Is it ok for us to be as close as last time? Just as good friends? What I worry is that the gal bf will mind. Considering that he knows I use to like her.
Btw, me and the guy only meet once or twice. Doubt we recognize each other if we meet on the streets. So, cat say much about the guy character.
When facing problems regarding relationships, friendships or whatever you can name it, NEVER EVER consult people in SGF. Most of them are keyboard warriors who have never really been into a really solid relationship. Just take the guy below your thread as example. You think he's fit to give advices? I've never met him, but i'm sure he's a LOL person in reality. Shy, small built etc.
k I wont LOLOLOL @ YOU this time round because this has got to my most constructive post LOLOLOL -
Keyboard warrior or not, they still willing to help. So dont laugh at them.Originally posted by LOL @ SGF KIA:Hi I have an advice for you. It may sound stupid BUT if you really were to think about it, you will get what I mean.
When facing problems regarding relationships, friendships or whatever you can name it, NEVER EVER consult people in SGF. Most of them are keyboard warriors who have never really been into a really solid relationship. Just take the guy below your thread as example. You think he's fit to give advices? I've never met him, but i'm sure he's a LOL person in reality. Shy, small built etc.
k I wont LOLOLOL @ YOU this time round because this has got to my most constructive post LOLOLOL
Shy, small built cannot get chio gal meh? I know some who is within this category but with some of the nicest gal around