Being close with your ex-crush
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The best person to answer your question would be her current boyfriend.Originally posted by ifish:I'm not talking about wanting to potong jalan them. Thats why I ask here whether it's ok for me to be close to her and will her bf mind?
I just want to know whether it's ok for me to be close friend with her again or not?
In fact, she still ask me whether I want to join her go study with her after sch.. but cause I'm unsure, I rejected those invitation..
If he minds you being too close to her gf, you'd know when to go poof. -
Like that = no liao ma. As if the guy will nod his head and allow TS to go near to his gal.Originally posted by jojobeach:The best person to answer your question would be her current boyfriend.
If he minds you being too close to her gf, you'd know when to go poof. -
ifish, I would encourage you to take the huge first difficult step and move on first. You see, at of this moment you are still in this endless circle of love like a dogfight including her and her bf. You can only see yourself and realised how silly things will really turn out in the future ONLY if you are out of that circle.
Unlike primatives, we humans have the unique ability to move on and out of our projected destiny....especially when it becomes endless or when it's heading towards a certain death....we can make a choice to step out or step back.
I would like to recommend you to listen to a song by Jay Chou. It's called Tui Hou (Step Back) and it's in his Still Fantasy album...track no.5.
The longer time you spent staying on, the deeper regret you would be feeling later.
To make it easier for you, don't you used to stay as close/closer friend towards her because you're worried about her and you somehow don't feel comfortable/safe seeing her alone? But right now she already got a bf, so your task is completed and you don't really have any reasons left to stay on anymore. Instead, you are still hanging around and searching for another reason to stay on cos you're kinda attached to this routine mission of yours. I would encourage you to move on before the feeling of being left behind consumes you. Trust me, girls move on faster and cleaner than guys.
And it doesn't means you're leaving or ending the friendship with her, the friendship between you and her still stays. However, you know that this is probably a very bad time for you or her to pick up both your friendships towards each other....it does feels a little bit wrong, uncomfortable and awkwardness isn't it? You will know when you are ready to pick up the friendship again with her...after you've moved on and found someone else to supercede her in you heart.
Be strong and move on, you'll be stronger everyday unless you chose to feel weaker everyday.
Good luck.Originally posted by ifish:She have always treated me as a close friend.. Thats what I think. I'm the one who wanted to bring the r/s to the next level..
and about the hearing part, it's not anything new coming from her.. her current bf was actually from her pass r/s. They broke up for 1 year and now patch again. Of course I was hurt time and again hearing about their happy times but on another hand, I'm just glad she's happy.
I know the closeness will never be the same.. seeing that last time we use to msg everyday about everything and now, nothing at all. Not even a simple hi message.
and i agree with you about being used. I feel that way but dont know why i never stop doing them. -
Cross the bridge when you come to it... I don't think it will lead to vast consequences if you continue to be friendly with her... stop when it becomes unbearable, but cross that bridge when you come to it..... otherwise.. life is for living, not worrying...Originally posted by ifish:Hi
Recently, my crush, got attached. Of course at first I was sad all that la.. considering I have jio her for quite a long period of time all that.
She's one of my closer classmates around and because she got attached recently, I tend to move away from her a little bit.
But after yesterday conversation with her on msn, I realised that after the "seperation", both of us do really miss each other company. She still treats me as a good friend.
My qn is..
Is it ok for us to be as close as last time? Just as good friends? What I worry is that the gal bf will mind. Considering that he knows I use to like her.
Btw, me and the guy only meet once or twice. Doubt we recognize each other if we meet on the streets. So, cat say much about the guy character. -
Yes, it is that obvious isn't it ?Originally posted by LatecomerX:Like that = no liao ma. As if the guy will nod his head and allow TS to go near to his gal. -
Maybe you're rite.. I'm just too use to her being around. Thats why..Originally posted by parn:ifish, I would encourage you to take the huge first difficult step and move on first. You see, at of this moment you are still in this endless circle of love like a dogfight including her and her bf. You can only see yourself and realised how silly things will really turn out in the future ONLY if you are out of that circle.
Unlike primatives, we humans have the unique ability to move on and out of our projected destiny....especially when it becomes endless or when it's heading towards a certain death....we can make a choice to step out or step back.
I would like to recommend you to listen to a song by Jay Chou. It's called Tui Hou (Step Back) and it's in his Still Fantasy album...track no.5.
The longer time you spent staying on, the deeper regret you would be feeling later.
To make it easier for you, don't you used to stay as close/closer friend towards her because you're worried about her and you somehow don't feel comfortable/safe seeing her alone? But right now she already got a bf, so your task is completed and you don't really have any reasons left to stay on anymore. Instead, you are still hanging around and searching for another reason to stay on cos you're kinda attached to this routine mission of yours. I would encourage you to move on before the feeling of being left behind consumes you. Trust me, girls move on faster and cleaner than guys.
And it doesn't means you're leaving or ending the friendship with her, the friendship between you and her still stays. However, you know that this is probably a very bad time for you or her to pick up both your friendships towards each other....it does feels a little bit wrong, uncomfortable and awkwardness isn't it? You will know when you are ready to pick up the friendship again with her...after you've moved on and found someone else to supercede her in you heart.
Be strong and move on, you'll be stronger everyday unless you chose to feel weaker everyday.
Good luck.
Of course, I think I still be nice guy. Decided not to go looking for her but instead, if she really need some company, let her look for me instead.
If the bf got anything to say, he cannot blame me cause the gal was the one who look for me. and if it ever happen, it just show how much their r/s works. -
When the girl comes to you, you can say "No".Originally posted by ifish:Maybe you're rite.. I'm just too use to her being around. Thats why..
Of course, I think I still be nice guy. Decided not to go looking for her but instead, if she really need some company, let her look for me instead.
If the bf got anything to say, he cannot blame me cause the gal was the one who look for me. and if it ever happen, it just show how much their r/s works.
Pushing the responsibility back to her doesn't make you the non culprit.
Unless you hope to be a part of their breakup. -
just have fun with the gal...if the gals dont care,, why u care so much? dont worry,, just be as close as u can.. but just dun ask her out for a movie or anything ... dinner would still be ok even though its only both of you and if only the gal doesnt mind...
my best friend , she invited me for a dinner.. and she called it a dating lol... but she seems ok with it dating with me alone, so im ok with it, plus we are best friend anyway,,, but i just cant ask her our for a movie la.. its against frens law especially to a fren that already has bf... so u can stay close with her but.. certain thingw like asking her out for a movie.. well.. no way , ok ?