Why?
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It's ok...
Really...
You will find the right one one day... -
Be patient & you will find the right guy soonOriginally posted by Starfish07:Even though I am not ugly nor pretty but no matter wad guys still cant stand lust leh
I have gone through about 5/6 relationships be4 settling down with a guy who dun cheat & get into serious marriage plan
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TS,
What is 4 r/s if you are still young with time on your side? I don't think and hope that past failures means that you want to rush things to get it right.
Perhaps it would also be good to reflect on your past failures and really be true to what is actually bothering and failing you. You seem to have a strong view about men handling lust, what is it really? In the 1st place, we live in a time where porn and vices are readily available and accessible, it will really be good if you could put some effort in understanding your partner in this area.
All of us including aka myself is imperfect and we all have our habits. If he is not in a habit of calling perhaps you can initiate calling yourself. Hang up and be comfortable after knowing that your man is fine and alright, period. What is wrong if he places his friends before you at this stage? Afterall, he has known them before you and surely you should not be sulking. I think it is just too early to deduce your bf just like that. I'd rather show you my true colors rather than let you have false expectations. This is what you are gonna get even when you are gonna get married, honey.
Understand now?
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u are smart to break off with him, dun waste ur time!
u will find another person that will treat u well.
=D
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Quoted : "Do u deserved to be treated like this ?"Originally posted by Starfish07:Recently I just broken up with my bf whom I been together for 3 months. The reason we broke up is he is not the guy tat I really wan to spend life with & I dun feel happy when I am together with him.
For my past 4 r/s, I think this is the worst relationship tat I ever had. His friends are more important than me & he is not the one there for me to share my happiness & sadness & he hated to call me & reporting to me everything.
I am a very simple person. I just want my partner to be home safe, care to share his everything with me & if he is busy I am fine with it. But he think I am controlling him too much which he had his own time to do his things rather than accompany me.
Why I am deserved to be treated like this?Why I cant meet a good guy & fall in love & get married?I am just wondering is there any good guys out there who really wan to get into serious relationship?
I had a good job, an own part time business to handle, a good family, a group of friends but my relationship really sucks.Friends often ask me how is my relationship but i always tell them dun ask there is nothing to tell. I dun smoke, I seldom club & I dun drink but why cant I meet a guy who can really treated me well?
Even though I am very understanding & concerned about my partner but they often take me for granted.
I dare not to fall in love anymore as I scared of being hurted again & again & my heart might not able to take the pain.
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From what i read, i don't think his character is compatible with you.It is actually a good thing that both of you break off now than later. It isn't really his fault that he treat you like this.
Reflect on the failure of the relationship...
Since u want your bf to report "everything to you", then find a bf who do not mind reporting everything to you.
However, "even everything" also need to be done in moderation.
When a couple is in a relationship, they are in reality still two separated entities. To maintain the relationship, it is just as important to give both space to do their own things while sharing their life together.
Relationship is never meant to constraint and control every movement. Love is supposed to be mutual where both parties are willing to give and take, compromise and sacrifice their own needs for their other half when it is necessary. -
i'm always perplexed when i hear girls say they want to find a "good" guy. but then how come a lot of good guys are still single? not that they are ugly or have bad character either.
my conclusion is that girls dun really want a good guy, they want to date a bad guy whom can give them excitement and then when they want to settle down they hope they can change him into a good guy. sometimes i really feel sad for all the nice guys out there who are underappreciated -
first of all i don't know many guys who go into a relationship looking for marriage... my advice usually sucks but i'll offer it anyway: stop expecting and measuring things against a rule and start looking at the good things in your relationships. if you get on with someone well enough and things fit you'll last and maybe marriage and everything else you want will come but you shouldn't expect it from every relationship, you only want to get married once right? take the time to make sure it's the right guy. let time do its job don't try to force things and maybe they'll come.Originally posted by Starfish07:Recently I just broken up with my bf whom I been together for 3 months. The reason we broke up is he is not the guy tat I really wan to spend life with & I dun feel happy when I am together with him.
For my past 4 r/s, I think this is the worst relationship tat I ever had. His friends are more important than me & he is not the one there for me to share my happiness & sadness & he hated to call me & reporting to me everything.
I am a very simple person. I just want my partner to be home safe, care to share his everything with me & if he is busy I am fine with it. But he think I am controlling him too much which he had his own time to do his things rather than accompany me.
Why I am deserved to be treated like this?Why I cant meet a good guy & fall in love & get married?I am just wondering is there any good guys out there who really wan to get into serious relationship?
I had a good job, an own part time business to handle, a good family, a group of friends but my relationship really sucks.Friends often ask me how is my relationship but i always tell them dun ask there is nothing to tell. I dun smoke, I seldom club & I dun drink but why cant I meet a guy who can really treated me well?
Even though I am very understanding & concerned about my partner but they often take me for granted.
I dare not to fall in love anymore as I scared of being hurted again & again & my heart might not able to take the pain.
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i wont say that.Originally posted by Starfish07:Singapore guys I can say they cant stand lust.
Dun u all think so?
Why cant they stay faithful to their partner & also in this relationship too?
This is what make me lost trust in them
guys will get lusty.
but if they cant withstand the lustiness and seduction by other girls, they it is not a gd idea afterall to be together for your whole life. be happy dat u saw the true colours of dem!
if they love you, even if another girl stand naked infront of them, they wont give a damn. -
not true.. got naked girl i sure see.. see song liao then carry on my stuff.. but i love my gf..Originally posted by hiphop2009:i wont say that.
guys will get lusty.
but if they cant withstand the lustiness and seduction by other girls, they it is not a gd idea afterall to be together for your whole life. be happy dat u saw the true colours of dem!
if they love you, even if another girl stand naked infront of them, they wont give a damn.
afterall, many husbands and wives do watch porn tgt.. -
Agreed. Not all guys neglect their girls. Some guys are flirty and hot, yet they only return to their one and only... (Which i have no chance to prove.. LOL)Originally posted by purpledragon84:not true.. got naked girl i sure see.. see song liao then carry on my stuff.. but i love my gf..
afterall, many husbands and wives do watch porn tgt.. -
Originally posted by Starfish07:
Which fantasy world you live in? Even as husband and wife not everything must be reported between each other, moreover you both are just into a 3 months relationship as gf/bf. Truthfully it was a blessing in disguise for HIM.
Recently I just broken up with my bf whom I been together for 3 months. The reason we broke up is he is not the guy tat I really wan to spend life with & I dun feel happy when I am together with him.
For my past 4 r/s, I think this is the worst relationship tat I ever had. His friends are more important than me & he is not the one there for me to share my happiness & sadness & [b]he hated to call me & reporting to me everything.I am a very simple person. I just want my partner to be home safe, care to share his everything with me & if he is busy I am fine with it. But he think I am controlling him too much which he had his own time to do his things rather than accompany me.
Why I am deserved to be treated like this?Why I cant meet a good guy & fall in love & get married?I am just wondering is there any good guys out there who really wan to get into serious relationship?
I had a good job, an own part time business to handle, a good family, a group of friends but my relationship really sucks.Friends often ask me how is my relationship but i always tell them dun ask there is nothing to tell. I dun smoke, I seldom club & I dun drink but why cant I meet a guy who can really treated me well?
Even though I am very understanding & concerned about my partner but they often take me for granted.
I dare not to fall in love anymore as I scared of being hurted again & again & my heart might not able to take the pain.
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Only 3 months into the relationship and you want him to tell you everything. You sounded like a control freak. Do you know what is 'giving breathing space' means? You are smothering his lifestyle. You didn't even allow the relationship to have a chance to bloom. You didn't let your ex bf have a chance to trust you enough to tell you everything. You were rushing him. Walau, can you imagine if he marries you. He sure do die of suffocation.
Please hor, learn to give people space. You highlighted everything about you so good and still can't understand why you can't find the right man? Well, isn't it obvious there is certainly something very wrong with you? Reflect on your behaviour and change and learn to accomodate other people's feeling and respect other people's personal breathing space hor. Not everything is just YOU, YOU, YOU.
And don't lump all Singaporean guys together hor. Lots of Singaporean guys are just as decent. Lust? Which man don't have lust? It's how they control their feelings. I'm glad my bf lusted after me or else he might as well be a monk!
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Er animals, women or men have lust.
Women can betray men and men can betray women. -
If you were given a chance to choose, would you want your spouse to betray you?Originally posted by Isis:Er animals, women or men have lust.
Women can betray men and men can betray women. -
I would not want my spouse to betray me but i also accept that people can betray one another and most of time it is not within our control.Originally posted by doppleganger:If you were given a chance to choose, would you want your spouse to betray you? -
Control is a word, actions and effects are the things that can be molded to your advantage.Originally posted by Isis:I would not want my spouse to betray me but i also accept that people can betray one another and most of time it is not within our control. -
ahh yes, it depends on how you use "control" but sometime, life is unpredictable.Originally posted by doppleganger:Control is a word, actions and effects are the things that can be molded to your advantage. -
have to do abit reflection.Originally posted by Starfish07:Recently I just broken up with my bf whom I been together for 3 months. The reason we broke up is he is not the guy tat I really wan to spend life with & I dun feel happy when I am together with him.
For my past 4 r/s, I think this is the worst relationship tat I ever had. His friends are more important than me & he is not the one there for me to share my happiness & sadness & he hated to call me & reporting to me everything.
I am a very simple person. I just want my partner to be home safe, care to share his everything with me & if he is busy I am fine with it. But he think I am controlling him too much which he had his own time to do his things rather than accompany me.
Why I am deserved to be treated like this?Why I cant meet a good guy & fall in love & get married?I am just wondering is there any good guys out there who really wan to get into serious relationship?
I had a good job, an own part time business to handle, a good family, a group of friends but my relationship really sucks.Friends often ask me how is my relationship but i always tell them dun ask there is nothing to tell. I dun smoke, I seldom club & I dun drink but why cant I meet a guy who can really treated me well?
Even though I am very understanding & concerned about my partner but they often take me for granted.
I dare not to fall in love anymore as I scared of being hurted again & again & my heart might not able to take the pain.
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Mayb it's wat u do thats y your relationships sux.
or u haven met the right guy.
Don worry i believe your fate will come. -
Originally posted by Starfish07:Recently I just broken up with my bf whom I been together for 3 months. The reason we broke up is he is not the guy tat I really wan to spend life with & I dun feel happy when I am together with him.
For my past 4 r/s, I think this is the worst relationship tat I ever had. His friends are more important than me & he is not the one there for me to share my happiness & sadness & he hated to call me & reporting to me everything.
I am a very simple person. I just want my partner to be home safe, care to share his everything with me & if he is busy I am fine with it. But he think I am controlling him too much which he had his own time to do his things rather than accompany me.
Why I am deserved to be treated like this?Why I cant meet a good guy & fall in love & get married?I am just wondering is there any good guys out there who really wan to get into serious relationship?
I had a good job, an own part time business to handle, a good family, a group of friends but my relationship really sucks.Friends often ask me how is my relationship but i always tell them dun ask there is nothing to tell. I dun smoke, I seldom club & I dun drink but why cant I meet a guy who can really treated me well?
Even though I am very understanding & concerned about my partner but they often take me for granted.
I dare not to fall in love anymore as I scared of being hurted again & again & my heart might not able to take the pain.
[/color]
You hold firmly onto your own definition of what love and relationship means to you; it seemed to have rooted into your personal core value.
Every relationship is as serious as how you want to look upon it as. You broke up with your guy, citing serious incompatibility, but I believe it's more likely that he is just unyielding towards your decree of how you perceive and desire the structure of your relationship to be like and that emphasis itself may not lie with incompatibility as a whole.
You seemed immalleable towards your attitude towards love, secretly hoping for a product which fits perfectly into how you want your relationship to shape into. Surely, that might happen to some, (especially people who managed to build excellent benefic relationship accrued from previous existence/s or having evolved personality from present life) but more often than not, if your cosmic lessons in life lies largely with your relationship, your growth will automatically spring forth from your challenges within and that you have to learn it with humility.
Your demand out of love will not materialise at face-value; in fact, it often develops an inverse relationship with your thoughts. What will only happen is that you will meet people that will allow you the potential to grow that personality and wisdom to eventually fulfill this demand or understand why you should drop such thoughts.
Ironically, the people who always claim they don't want to fall in love because of the pain, are precisely the very people who always fall in love and always come out battered.
The rationale is very simple; if you allow fear to govern your attitude towards love, then fear will manifest into reality for you. The quantum of fear you have in love is closely linked to one's inability to accept reality and growth in relationship. If you reject growth due to fear, then fear will circumvent you like a pall of miasmatic cloud.
A simple relationship per se is never simple - in fact, what simple to you could be a 180 degree change in behavioural pattern for another.
A perfect relationship is never by birthright; it always forged through understanding, compromising and maturity by imperfect partners ourselves. Only by breaking down the emotional barriers we have put in place for love and love with wisdom, would our higher consciousness attract the best possible mate in the same wavelength and make that into reality for us.
P.S: We learn to walk so as to prevent falling - we don't learn to avoid walking just because we don't want to fall.
Cheers