issues in life
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I have some serious issues.
To cut them short...
My girlfriend has a good liberal family who supports her, I have a conservative family who inhibits what I do. I feel she has so many talents yet I have none. I am feeling that I am inferior to her and that I am not good enough for her, yet we understand each other and are going well. I just do not want her to be suffering. She is very nice and caring to me, that's what keeps our relationship going. However, sometimes, she sees her work as priority. In the end, I feel I am not good enough for her because she is in a league high above me.
I have health problems too. High blood pressure, knee problem, sexual disorders. I am not ashamed because I feel I have such problems but I want to solve them, yet my family does not want to acknowledge some problems. The sexual problem makes me feel inferior as my male ego is damaged. Other ailments leave me thinking when will I die. I feel that so many problems at the age of 19, it is very disheartening.
My family does not bother about issues they would not put as priority. They want me to study hard without caring about my social life and my parents do not want me to work, yet limit me to meagre allowance( no allowance on weekends). I see everyone around me having things worth a lot, yet I feel, even something simple like something worth 50 dollars, I can't even have it. Mind you my family is well to do, yet they can have everything, and me, nothing I want. I feel so pressurized when my parents tell me not to do this and that but most things are what people my age usually do (e.g spending some time outside). My parents urge me to stay at home, when I don't see any meaning in doing the mundane things I do.
I am only troubled by these 3 aspects of life. I am very troubled and have spent countless nights pondering. I hope I can get help here because I am helpless and these thoughts constantly haunt me. I do not believe I am having a very low self confidence because I am rational and I will evaluate how things are going. Life is never fair, I am a living example. -
U know Jay Chou?
Apart from the mishaps that u have, i don't think he is in anyway different from u in his early phase in life.
So the point that i am driving at is u should take up some music and develop ur own personality from there. I know it is not easy but since ur parents are so restrictive, y not give it a shot?
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i cannot do music. i have a bad voice. i don't play instruments.
and i don't want to follow his footsteps because i have my own life, my own identity. if i follow him, i would be any singer on the street.
but i think running away from issues will not solve them but cause me to think more. i will have to face my fears and obstacles in life... just one day. -
Yo dude,
You should not look down on yourself, brighten up, you got yourself a good gf, some of the boys here are still single and will be admiring you ya, stick to your gf, dun ever have class differentiation in Love, as a gal, we would much preferred a caring bf rather than a bf who know how to have sex only, your thinking is mature and logical, you feels that you should not hurt others, you likes to compare, you conceived in your mind too much self punishment and low self esteem, but let me tell you, your gf will be please to have you, talk to her, she is the only one that knows you well and care for you, perhap for the rest of her life. So instead of self condenming yourself, you should learn to cherish the moment, the wonder of life ya.
As for your parents, the so call not allowing you to work or go out may be misintrepreted as not giving you space, but actually they love you so much that they do not wish you see you get hurt outside that may damage your health further. However, theirs expression of love to you take a conservative stand, by 21 yo, you should start to talk to them, get aunties and uncles involve, siblings too, tell them about your plans and what you wish to be, communicate constantly, do not feel sad when things dun work out, use another way of approach, all parents will alway have a soft spot for their son, and you are no different. Do not look inward, look outward with happiness in approach them, thanks them for their caring and love for you, express yourself clearly to them. I believe they will be so happy for you, as a son, who are willing to strive and work despite all the difficulties in health.
Guess what dude, you are much better than me, I lost my mom since young, Dad alway go work or with his gfs, left with me, my grandma and her silly cats and also a maid, so boring, but then I have learn to understand life better to stay happy than being sad, so i planned my destiny. If grandma do not let me out, i go out with her lor, if she do not let me work, i bring her along to my workplace lor, if she dun allow me to stay late, i bring the maid along to keep her inform lor. With all her discipline restriction, i know deep inside is because she so love me that she is not prepare to let me go.
We are youngs, should enjoy our young life, go ask your parents what they did during their young age, and they may realise that in restricting you, they are restricting a youth freedom. Oldies are people that need respect, with respect, they are more willing to listen and agree on your request. -
yeah very true indeed. thank you. i appreciate it. but i think health problems still linger as they are with me for long. my gf has already placed rules for me not smoking/drinking or eating fast food already
but i guess for my health, i will take the advice from her! -
U have a caring and nice gf. WHat's so sad abt u? Look on the bright side of life. If she is caring and understanding,She will understand yr situation. Don't use others as guide life for all those materialise things. Be unique, Be yrself!Originally posted by sEphIrOth:I have some serious issues.
To cut them short...
My girlfriend has a good liberal family who supports her, I have a conservative family who inhibits what I do. I feel she has so many talents yet I have none. I am feeling that I am inferior to her and that I am not good enough for her, yet we understand each other and are going well. I just do not want her to be suffering. She is very nice and caring to me, that's what keeps our relationship going. However, sometimes, she sees her work as priority. In the end, I feel I am not good enough for her because she is in a league high above me.
I have health problems too. High blood pressure, knee problem, sexual disorders. I am not ashamed because I feel I have such problems but I want to solve them, yet my family does not want to acknowledge some problems. The sexual problem makes me feel inferior as my male ego is damaged. Other ailments leave me thinking when will I die. I feel that so many problems at the age of 19, it is very disheartening.
My family does not bother about issues they would not put as priority. They want me to study hard without caring about my social life and my parents do not want me to work, yet limit me to meagre allowance( no allowance on weekends). I see everyone around me having things worth a lot, yet I feel, even something simple like something worth 50 dollars, I can't even have it. Mind you my family is well to do, yet they can have everything, and me, nothing I want. I feel so pressurized when my parents tell me not to do this and that but most things are what people my age usually do (e.g spending some time outside). My parents urge me to stay at home, when I don't see any meaning in doing the mundane things I do.
I am only troubled by these 3 aspects of life. I am very troubled and have spent countless nights pondering. I hope I can get help here because I am helpless and these thoughts constantly haunt me. I do not believe I am having a very low self confidence because I am rational and I will evaluate how things are going. Life is never fair, I am a living example.
Know what u want,plot yr future ahead! -
I take it that u have not gonr for NS yet. Maybe by the time u go for NS, your parents will come to realise that it is time to let u walk your own path.
As a parent, I also dread the thought of the day when I have to `let go`.
Don`t look down on yourself when you any challenges in life. The worse thing to do is to give up, go into depression and do something silly. If you keep on going and learn to over come problems, it will build moral strength in you in later years. Take it from me, I too have gone thru hard knocks in life. But I have learnt this lesson, when you fall down, don`t stay down for long. You must pick yourself up and carry on.
www.loyalfreedom.blogspot.com
www.freeyourselfpackage.com -
Why are you still living with your parents if you're already 19? Move out and you'll no longer have any problems. They need to realise that you're old enough to think for yourself.
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how many ppl, at the age of 19, live by themselves?
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he is the biggest thing right now in the mando-pop world. what's wrong with following his footsteps? when he was young, he had nothing but music and now look where he is?Originally posted by sEphIrOth:i cannot do music. i have a bad voice. i don't play instruments.
and i don't want to follow his footsteps because i have my own life, my own identity. if i follow him, i would be any singer on the street.
but i think running away from issues will not solve them but cause me to think more. i will have to face my fears and obstacles in life... just one day.
if he thought like you when he was young, we wouldn't have someone like him in the music world now
look at eminem as well -
because i am practical and i know my forte doesnt lie in music
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so? if you train your voice well and can control it.. you can probably still survive as a vocal coachOriginally posted by sEphIrOth:because i am practical and i know my forte doesnt lie in music -
Quoted: Life is never fair, I am a living example.
I think you are blessed to have a good girlfriend and parents who care for you. The problems that you have mentioned here are.. if you take a look closely are what you have lacked of. Isn't that part of life? We have and don't have certain things in life.
Talk to your parents about giving you some deserving space. Engage help from your siblings to cajole your parents or whoever that your parents listen to. I believe your parents love you very much and could give in to you if you can communicate with them properly. There could be always some limitation in the amount of freedom that they could give to you but when you show them that you can handle the freedom they give, they could give-in more later.
I think your girlfriend love you for reasons that you have failed to see in yourself. The last thing you should do is to wreck the relationship because you fail to see what she had seen in you. Obviously You have something within you that attracts her and is shining brightly.
If there are things that can be solved, find constructive ways to handle it. If there aren't a viable solution now, leave there problem alone first and come back to it later. Stop giving yourself excessive burden to carry. -
Many. Shouldn't you be in some college dormitory or living in an apartment with your roommate?Originally posted by sEphIrOth:how many ppl, at the age of 19, live by themselves? -
eh singapore da! singapore!
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Can't really help you with the health and family issues, but with regard to your girlfriend, there is no need to feel inferior because she certainly does not mind your so-called shortcomings. She sounds like a sweet girl who is genuinely concerned for you, willing to look beyond the fact that you are worse off than her -- that's a good sign that she really loves you. You don't have to feel bad -- you are probably better than her in areas that you're not aware of -- because ultimately, she has no problem with your "inferior" status. Cherish her and may your relationship bloom and flourish!
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thank you very much!
i will cherish her. but i hope my health gets better. enough of junk food and unhealthy obsessions! -
dun mind me asking...
wat do u mean by sexual disorder?
knee problem and high blood pressure can slowly adjust by taking some health food/supplement. -
The purpose of learning music is not to excel in it but rather enjoy it. That's what the project superstar judges always said:"ENJOY".Originally posted by sEphIrOth:because i am practical and i know my forte doesnt lie in music
Music has a calming effect if it is played well. Cannot sing, play it. Cannot play it, write it. Cannot write, just listen and enjoy it.
U never what u can achieve until u do it. U think bill gate imagine himself as the whole richest man when he created the first window OS? Apparently, it is a NO. What makes him succesfully today is because he has the passion for programming... likewise, u should start to pursue ur passion. Don't have one, just find one.
I believe ur gf will be super touched when u sing a song that u have composed specially for her. Let's this be a starting point ya! -
Just feel like slapping you.Originally posted by sEphIrOth:I have some serious issues.
To cut them short...
My girlfriend has a good liberal family who supports her, I have a conservative family who inhibits what I do. I feel she has so many talents yet I have none. I am feeling that I am inferior to her and that I am not good enough for her, yet we understand each other and are going well. I just do not want her to be suffering. She is very nice and caring to me, that's what keeps our relationship going. However, sometimes, she sees her work as priority. In the end, I feel I am not good enough for her because she is in a league high above me.
I have health problems too. High blood pressure, knee problem, sexual disorders. I am not ashamed because I feel I have such problems but I want to solve them, yet my family does not want to acknowledge some problems. The sexual problem makes me feel inferior as my male ego is damaged. Other ailments leave me thinking when will I die. I feel that so many problems at the age of 19, it is very disheartening.
My family does not bother about issues they would not put as priority. They want me to study hard without caring about my social life and my parents do not want me to work, yet limit me to meagre allowance( no allowance on weekends). I see everyone around me having things worth a lot, yet I feel, even something simple like something worth 50 dollars, I can't even have it. Mind you my family is well to do, yet they can have everything, and me, nothing I want. I feel so pressurized when my parents tell me not to do this and that but most things are what people my age usually do (e.g spending some time outside). My parents urge me to stay at home, when I don't see any meaning in doing the mundane things I do.
I am only troubled by these 3 aspects of life. I am very troubled and have spent countless nights pondering. I hope I can get help here because I am helpless and these thoughts constantly haunt me. I do not believe I am having a very low self confidence because I am rational and I will evaluate how things are going. Life is never fair, I am a living example.
Wake up lar you have such a good life and still complaining so much.
How many people can be like you?
you only complain this and that but have you done anything to change? other than craping ?
So many people do not have a gf at all and they are worst of than you. -
which way do i seem like i am complaining?
im just thinking about alternatives to improve myself. even if i m well off, who doesnt wanna improve every aspect of their life? -
Really, it's not his fault that you're worse off than him so stop acting like it is.Originally posted by Guardx:Just feel like slapping you.
Wake up lar you have such a good life and still complaining so much.
How many people can be like you?
you only complain this and that but have you done anything to change? other than craping ?
So many people do not have a gf at all and they are worst of than you.
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concentrate on the haves
not the not-haves -
dun complain too much !
be content with what u have!
treasure your gf.
As for the problems , if u can solve it , try to solve it urself and dun worry too much !
How come u have so much problems in your life ? -
i would say something of comfort if you didn't sound so much like my ex.