issues in life
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Originally posted by jondizzle foshizzle:M`
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Originally posted by Uncertain:U know Jay Chou?
Apart from the mishaps that u have, i don't think he is in anyway different from u in his early phase in life.
So the point that i am driving at is u should take up some music and develop ur own personality from there. I know it is not easy but since ur parents are so restrictive, y not give it a shot?
eh.. why sound like asking him to focus on music industry..? anyway.. TS i think you can talk to your parents about your problems..? be it pocket money or freedom, I think they are kinda tight on you.. are they "talkable" people? or are they like this forummer's parents..?Originally posted by Agenda:he is the biggest thing right now in the mando-pop world. what's wrong with following his footsteps? when he was young, he had nothing but music and now look where he is?
if he thought like you when he was young, we wouldn't have someone like him in the music world now
look at eminem as well
for you guy I think getting your parents to let you have a bit of freedom shouldn't be that hard la unless they scared you kena poke backside lo..
you should sit them down for a chat about what you need.. gd luck.. -
Hi,
I believe that we each have different purposes in our lives, perhaps you just have not found yours yet. Dont need to worry you will find it someday. We each have our talents and shortcomings, perhaps you have not discovered them yet. Since you have already acknowledged your shortcomings why dont you now work on them and become a better person yourself?
As for your family, perhaps you should have a good talk with them and tell them what YOU want and not what THEY want. Its your life, at the end of the day it is you who will bring your memories to your grave. Its up to you to decide whether you want them to be pleasant ones or not.
Good Luck! -
well, let me give you some unfair stories
a secodnary school boy is knocked down by car in hougang few months ago.
a famous professor in US top university has late stages cancer.
a business trader died in the september 11 terrorism.
a guy was taken as prisoner during the war and he lived through to tell his harrowing experience
ya, that is life. feeling lousy about your situation is normal. Now, just accept your situation and make the bets out of it. Go on, dun fret too much.. we humans are just tiny dots in the universe. Just stay happy whatever happens. -
Yup.. thats what i wanna know too. What do u mean by that ?Originally posted by browniebaobao:dun mind me asking...
wat do u mean by sexual disorder?
knee problem and high blood pressure can slowly adjust by taking some health food/supplement.
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How come ar people spend a lot of their time giving advice to others in AA then suddenly one fine day their problem is bigger than all the other problems put together ?
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Nothing wrong with it. Take a piece of paper out and sort out your problems. Identify the problems: the one that you can do something about it and the one that you can't change. Write out the steps to solve the problems that you can solve. For those u can't do it, make the best out of the situation. Keep there paper and don't keep thinking about them.Originally posted by sEphIrOth:which way do i seem like i am complaining?
im just thinking about alternatives to improve myself. even if i m well off, who doesnt wanna improve every aspect of their life?
Worrying does not solve the problem and worst, it becomes a habit of the mind. -
TSOriginally posted by sEphIrOth:I have some serious issues.
To cut them short...
........................................, I have a conservative family who inhibits what I do. I feel she has so many talents yet I have none.
I have health problems too. High blood pressure, knee problem, sexual disorders. I am not ashamed because I feel I have such problems but I want to solve them, yet my family does not want to acknowledge some problems. The sexual problem makes me feel inferior as my male ego is damaged. Other ailments leave me thinking when will I die. I feel that so many problems at the age of 19, it is very disheartening.
My family does not bother about issues they would not put as priority. They want me to study hard without caring about my social life and my parents do not want me to work, yet limit me to meagre allowance( no allowance on weekends). I see everyone around me having things worth a lot, yet I feel, even something simple like something worth 50 dollars, I can't even have it. Mind you my family is well to do, yet they can have everything, and me, nothing I want. I feel so pressurized when my parents tell me not to do this and that but most things are what people my age usually do (e.g spending some time outside). My parents urge me to stay at home, when I don't see any meaning in doing the mundane things I do.
What you had mentioned about your ailments is quite an issue here, and I am quite surprised that your family is treating it lightly. Where did you had these conditions diagnosed? I suggest that you get your family to attend a consultation with your physician. I think health here is the most important factor and you really need to get those conditions especially your high blood pressure and potential fatal conditions under control and treated.
I cannot even have a right frame of mind to embark on anything including studies if I have these conditions. It is like you are an erratic walking time bomb.
Also, since you mentioned that you are studying...I feel that you may approach your teacher(s) or counselors for help too. You really need to open up more communication channels with your parents here. If you have support groups try them as well. Your sexual disorders is an area which will need specialist attention - you may want to get a referral through your family doctor. I do not need to emphasize the importance of this as well and leaving it untreated will also jeopardize chances of recovery and management issues. Yes, I can see that your family is conservative and discussing sexual issues can be quite a task but with tact management and letting them accompany you through your consultations can really soften the ground for you.
As for your current studies I can understand your distractions but do make an effort as the world today is really placing a lot of emphasis on paper qualifications. So don't waste your chance here.
You really have a nice gf here. I feel that you need to trust yourself and not let the inferior complex thing eat into you. With your present health condition, it may also help that she fully understand your condition and inside thoughts. You need to do something to obtain that inner peace which is lacking here.Originally posted by sEphIrOth:My girlfriend has a good liberal family who supports her, ....... I feel she has so many talents yet I have none. I am feeling that I am inferior to her and that I am not good enough for her, yet we understand each other and are going well. I just do not want her to be suffering. She is very nice and caring to me, that's what keeps our relationship going. However, sometimes, she sees her work as priority. In the end, I feel I am not good enough for her because she is in a league high above me.
Hope that this will help you....all the best.
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Just have fun la... don see things negatively.. i bet ur gf really love u, not for what u have but who u are la , my fren...
go spend some time hugging her and kissing her all day.. she will love it
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Does ur gf know about ur sexual disorder ?
Have you see a doctor about it ?
U take psychology right ?
I think you can actually major in sexual psychology.
My friend is taking there and planning to help people with sexual disorder.
Alot of people also have knee problems.
There are ways to handle high-blood pressure too. -
instead of cooping at home, why not go for some exercise? good for your health too. check with your doctor see what kind of exercises you can do with your current health conditions.
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aiya some stuff cannot be said here la. knee op fixed. high blood pressure juz eat better food, dont think so much.
but i think my family really restrict me alot. cannot even work. nowadays i see people having stuff i dont. it seems like a lower quality of life will lead to low self esteem, yet my family does not realise. -
and anyway, my gf is giving me all the support she can. just that its my restrictive family
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Originally posted by sEphIrOth:a`
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psychological. thats all i wish to say. but im straight n stuff.
no i dont have fetishes. its just psychological becoming physical. -
this is what i am hearing, do correct me if i'm wrong. you have parents who's favourite animal is probably a dog. the reason they want to control your life so much is because of the deficiencies they suffered/enjoyed through their childhood. they are just doing what they think is right.Originally posted by sEphIrOth:aiya some stuff cannot be said here la. knee op fixed. high blood pressure juz eat better food, dont think so much.
but i think my family really restrict me alot. cannot even work. nowadays i see people having stuff i dont. it seems like a lower quality of life will lead to low self esteem, yet my family does not realise.
you on the other hand, constantly demands material gratifications. if you are willing to listen to your parents and not work, then jolly well listen to them all the way and quit thinking about having the luxuries and freedom you so desire. it's all or nothing, you cant have half the package and complain about the other half you find lacking. it's a package. so if you do dream of owning items to show-off, then work for it. from what i can read, you dont probably will have a lot of room for development and improvement even if u take up a job. furthermore, even if your parents your wishes now, you will have more to be fulfilled. it's endless. you have to start improving yourself. read.
books can help you. if you cant afford books, borrow from the library. its free. applied knowledge is power. its useless for you even if we plan out every single step for you to follow but you dont want to move yourself.
you are blessed to have such a girlfriend. dont let her down. -
i believe i m well equipped with knowledge and the art of persuasion. i read up often n i do well in school. teachers know i am capable too.
however, i m willing to equip myself with better skills, once i recuperate from my serious injury, in about 2-3months time. what u say about my parents are somewhat true, about what deficiencies or things they have. i have told them,what happened was in the 1970s, this is 2007, things change, cannot put the 1970s mindset into 2007.
i reminded them that we can be traditional but we have to keep up with times. but they keep saying things their way. i do want to improve and upgrade myself, however, the inhibition being my parents. they constantly do things to restrict me. lesser pocket money and no work for me. it is like taking away my free will. they keep saying study comes first, nxt time work earn more. i think that: if u do not give me sufficient money to spend on myself, i will have to find means and ways to earn it, regardless of what u want because it is my life and if u wan to control me u can jolly well get a pet. i have made it clear but my mother keeps restricting me.
i have barely enough to eat that i hardly have savings. i do away with not eating at all in school to save up. i need to have a better quality of life. my parents r well to do, but they restrict my money. yes they may think that i should be thrifty, but not to the extent of squeezing me.
anyway i think the main point is this: if they wan to restrict me too much, it wont do both parties good. i will have a lack of proper growth and i will grow fustrated while they may be unhappy i m like this, all because they started this mind controlling game! -
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i cant bear with such stuff anymore. it seems that we cannot handle too much pressure. even a rubber band will snap, i dont know when i will snap.
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Originally posted by sEphIrOth:I have some serious issues.
To cut them short...
My girlfriend has a good liberal family who supports her, I have a conservative family who inhibits what I do. I feel she has so many talents yet I have none. I am feeling that I am inferior to her and that I am not good enough for her, yet we understand each other and are going well. I just do not want her to be suffering. She is very nice and caring to me, that's what keeps our relationship going. However, sometimes, she sees her work as priority. In the end, I feel I am not good enough for her because she is in a league high above me.
I have health problems too. High blood pressure, knee problem, sexual disorders. I am not ashamed because I feel I have such problems but I want to solve them, yet my family does not want to acknowledge some problems. The sexual problem makes me feel inferior as my male ego is damaged. Other ailments leave me thinking when will I die. I feel that so many problems at the age of 19, it is very disheartening.
My family does not bother about issues they would not put as priority. They want me to study hard without caring about my social life and my parents do not want me to work, yet limit me to meagre allowance( no allowance on weekends). I see everyone around me having things worth a lot, yet I feel, even something simple like something worth 50 dollars, I can't even have it. Mind you my family is well to do, yet they can have everything, and me, nothing I want. I feel so pressurized when my parents tell me not to do this and that but most things are what people my age usually do (e.g spending some time outside). My parents urge me to stay at home, when I don't see any meaning in doing the mundane things I do.
I am only troubled by these 3 aspects of life. I am very troubled and have spent countless nights pondering. I hope I can get help here because I am helpless and these thoughts constantly haunt me. I do not believe I am having a very low self confidence because I am rational and I will evaluate how things are going. Life is never fair, I am a living example.
Like a bird with clipped wings, you desire the freedom to fly, yet due to years of suppression, you can't seemed to find the courage to seek this very freedom.
You blame your parents for being conservative, on the other hand, it's also partially because you obey and kept status quo.
I will not encourage you to rebel, but rather, I say demonstrate actual proof - that you are capable of independence, if this is what you really wanted, without running astray. Chances are, your parents will never hand over your freedom unless you can prove that you have seriously grown up.
Your parents are probably the paranoid parents, who are probably overly affected by the news on how youth become delinquents because they had too much freedom.
This is exactly what you must prove; you have to address whatever subconscious fear they have and mollify them.
Once when you have worked that out, your relationship will readjust accordingly.
And as for your health condition, you got to consciously take good care of yourself, if you have yet to understand the importance of it. You keep yourself healthy, not because of yourself, but because of the people around you for if you truly love your woman, I think the least you could do is to avoid putting yourself in a worrying situation where she has to struggle emotionally to keep you (and herself) afloat, should anything happens to you.
Cheers -
TS,Originally posted by sEphIrOth:aiya some stuff cannot be said here la. knee op fixed. high blood pressure juz eat better food, dont think so much.
but i think my family really restrict me alot. cannot even work. nowadays i see people having stuff i dont. it seems like a lower quality of life will lead to low self esteem, yet my family does not realise.
Do not undermine your medical condition here!! In all cases, if you do not manage them well you will face serious consequences. I don't think I need to tell you how strokes come about right? Just think what a minor stroke can cause to you!!
I fully disagree the fact that your family is that restrictive and besides who is paying for your medical bills at the moment?? At the rate of how the medical cost is like in Singapore ...I wonder how much have you cost to your parents' coffers. Has this thought ever occur to you?
And talking about work, you are already a "walking time bomb" do you think you can ever be hired? Also, since you are still pursuing your academics I felt that your parents are mindful of your physical incapacity and distraction which you might faced in you studies. Remember a servant can never serve 2 masters well. How about opportunity cost here in real life sound like now? And may I remind you again....of who is paying your school fees for you here.
Lower quality of life will lead to low self esteem, hmm...I wonder how Michael Schammacher's children will have to say of their father's pocket money to them. TS, has it ever occurred to you that - what business is yours about your parent's hard earned money? [Sorry if I am CRUDE here.] But I think you need to realise this fact and have it sit into you for a while. Have they neglected you to the extent that you cannot go out of the door and face people? And before you have that damnable feeling again, ask yourself how much have you cost your parents till now. Especially with your recent medical binge. And how about that money for a rainy day aka "coffin" money? [Knock wood]
TS, I felt that if you could read up on the subject of wealth management you will certainly be helping yourself a great deal here. Material gratification are merely peer pressures if you look closely besides it does not seem to me that you will never be able to enter the working world so have a little patience and try to prepare yourself as much as you can whilst you still have a "cocoon" covering and protecting you.
Remember realities are harsh and it will be harsher for those that enter it ILL PREPARED!!! Sorry to spoil your Black Monday.
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(sephiroth)
i cannot do music. i have a bad voice. i don't play instruments.
u stupid moron....of course u have your own life, your own identity:
and i don't want to follow his footsteps because i have my own life, my own identity. if i follow him, i would be any singer on the street.
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now what i m lacking is juz the freedom to work. things have been better since i made a speech with them. juz some freedom to work. they arent giving me enough money yet so if they arent prepared, i'll work.therefore, i will do it regardless of what they say.
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Once you accept the fact that the old patterns are no longer appropriate, and you are willing to either make changes or accept the ones that have occurred, you will begin to feel liberated. You are freed from chains you have forged for yourself. You will approach life with a greater sense of freedom and a heightened ability to experience it as it is now, not as it was when you were a child.
Quoted from somewhere...