About a girl
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I never thought I would be posting here again. Anyway, I just needed an outlet to talk about my current quandary.
I knew X for about a year or so since she came to Uni, but we haven't really talked until about 6 months ago. She just broke up then and went through a load of crap as her ex cheated her and subjected her to some kind psychological abuse that resulted in her depression. She got it treated already and so she's better now.
So yea, we began talking and apparently yeah, for some reason unknown to me, we can click. Btw, she's apparently the belle of her faculty. Thus so, she has plenty of admirers who went after her after learning of her newly single status.
Anyway, fast forward abit. We continued talking and hanging out occasionally. Just about 2 months back before the exams, I became her study buddy and we studied together till the wee hours of the morning. And during the study breaks, we began talking about ourselves and you know the usual clinche crap about guys and girls. So things went like that for a while and we conduct our 3 hour phone conversation when she's not in hall.
Right now, I realised that all this while, I love her, I truly do. And when she said that night I deserve a better girl. I just told her that it's not for her to decide who's better. I miss her, she's in Korea now.
I asked if she likes me and she said she has good feelings for me. Could someone tell me what exactly this means? -
u clarify ur doubts wif her wan anot?
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she is shy about matters like this so go slowly and don't rush no matter how eager you want her to be in your arms
take it slowly and do the right thing -
this is something best to be explained by her.Originally posted by Misogynist:I asked if she likes me and she said she has good feelings for me. Could someone tell me what exactly this means?
all that you hear from this thread will be just wild guesses. -
Thanks guys!
I've asked her to be my gf before, and she told me that let's take things slow.
2 days back, while talking she told me that I deserved better. And strangely, just 5 months ago, when I confessed my feelings for her, I told her she deserved better.
Full circle.. -
The right question to ask her is this " Do you have some one else in mind whom you like ?"
It is either she is not ready for another relationship, or she is waiting for that some one else, so go figure. -
AIya the girl dun like you la. WHy u act bulr. So obvious she do not like you. Either u doesnt have the $$ or you are not handsome enough. This is the cruel world.
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Currently, she has no one in mind.
She's just annoyed by the other guys around her who try to impress her. she told me I'm the only guy she calls and talk to. She cried in my arms when one of the guy bullied her.
I just wanna hold her in my arms and tell her how much she means to me.
But yea guys, I'm gonna hit the sack now. Go ahead and post your comments. I'll check it out when I'm awake. -
lol don't say until so extreme lah
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Currently, she has no one in mind. <<< WHAT IS THIS!! SHE DUN LIKE YOU LO
U can keep on waiting la hor haah.
She treat you only best buddy no other feeling. Girl is like that . U go best buddy route way u always remain best buddy status lo. Teach u one effective way to forget her and change your status. Ignore her for now and if she miss you then you got a good start but that doesnt mean she like you. You must grab this opportuinity to create a lover status . This create lover status thing is very tricky de. I wont teach you as i got nothing good out of you. It is up to you. If she dun miss you, then forget it. -
be patient dude
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be patient dude<<< haha stupid advice
oh go ahead and do that. Wait for her. I will laugh at you if u fail. I wanted you to test where you stand in her heart. If you are at the " no chance" area then too bad. She say she got good feeling for you may meant to FU YAn ni ma. Only ask you to test where u stand in her heart also dun want to try. Then u go ahead and invest all ur time in her lo. If u fail then dun cry. -
Whatcha watiting for ?Originally posted by Misogynist:I just wanna hold her in my arms and tell her how much she means to me. -
dont...try to get closer to her first...u straight away do that she sure very scared..then she will avoid you..u must relax...be there for her..tell her u care..thn hold her hands whn she is not noticing..thn like tht chances of her pulling her hand away is very very very low..thn slowly tell her u really like her etc etcOriginally posted by Misogynist:I just wanna hold her in my arms and tell her how much she means to me. -
If a girl that u have just known, suddenly "pounded" onto u like superglue and say she likes u, will u be scared?
What i meant is timing is the key for u to success here, go slowly and not wait. Be there for her when she needs u, care for her, dun always filled ur brain with BGR BGR, but rather treat her like ur pet. I didn't meant that ur girl is an animal but rather do dote her like as if u are taking care of ur pet.
She is not ready, don't force. LOVE IS MUTUAL. Respect her decision and be nice to her. Perhaps one day she will nod her head to ur confession. If u cannot wait, then u are not loving her, just leave her. -
You have something good going on for now, be patient for now. Do not rush her to give a decision, it may backfire.
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take it slow, she's already aware....got potential
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TS, here's hoping it all works out eventually. Your post has given me some sort of optimism in my own experiences.
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SHe is just out of depression, in her fragile state, she is afraid of another relationship, tho she had admitted she likes you kind of feeling but she still bears the fear factor from her first relationship.
You be cool dude, bring her out of the fear factor slowly ya, dun rush into thing. And yes, you may be very much in love or love her very very very much, but no use saying so much, prove it, act on it, show her your sincerity whenever possible. Love need lots of sacrification dude, and especially with her as a belle of U, who dare win.
The last time my bf took leaves from army and spend all his saving to visit me in England, that is sacrification, that is truly love, and for that I can feel it and admired his sincerity. So, if can, u know what to do ya. -
xcloud23x you have no skill that's why talk like that..I went from best buddy to bfOriginally posted by xcloud23x:Currently, she has no one in mind. <<< WHAT IS THIS!! SHE DUN LIKE YOU LO
U can keep on waiting la hor haah.
She treat you only best buddy no other feeling. Girl is like that . U go best buddy route way u always remain best buddy status lo. Teach u one effective way to forget her and change your status. Ignore her for now and if she miss you then you got a good start but that doesnt mean she like you. You must grab this opportuinity to create a lover status . This create lover status thing is very tricky de. I wont teach you as i got nothing good out of you. It is up to you. If she dun miss you, then forget it...you ignore the woman you're just shooting yourself in the foot..be the shoulder she needs to cry on..what do u mean 'lover status'?u think she's going to jump in the sack with u because u act all cool and ignore her? -
well done, u have revealed your feelings to her. now be patient and give her time to decide.
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Hi Miso,Originally posted by Misogynist:I never thought I would be posting here again. Anyway, I just needed an outlet to talk about my current quandary.
I knew X for about a year or so since she came to Uni, but we haven't really talked until about 6 months ago. She just broke up then and went through a load of crap as her ex cheated her and subjected her to some kind psychological abuse that resulted in her depression. She got it treated already and so she's better now.
So yea, we began talking and apparently yeah, for some reason unknown to me, we can click. Btw, she's apparently the belle of her faculty. Thus so, she has plenty of admirers who went after her after learning of her newly single status.
Anyway, fast forward abit. We continued talking and hanging out occasionally. Just about 2 months back before the exams, I became her study buddy and we studied together till the wee hours of the morning. And during the study breaks, we began talking about ourselves and you know the usual clinche crap about guys and girls. So things went like that for a while and we conduct our 3 hour phone conversation when she's not in hall.
Right now, I realised that all this while, I love her, I truly do. And when she said that night I deserve a better girl. I just told her that it's not for her to decide who's better. I miss her, she's in Korea now.
I asked if she likes me and she said she has good feelings for me. Could someone tell me what exactly this means?
Just dun act rash....take things slowly. To me, a good gf is someone who's also a buddy/chummy, and someone both of you can confide in, enjoy the course of life together.
Do not say stupid things that do not have the chance to clear up or cause misunderstanding, like "you deserve better" type of bullcrap. 'Better' or not, it's up to you to make it happen, ok.
Ask yourself these qns:
1. If she's still with her bf, will you still be her friend? If the answer is 'Yes', then be her friend and support her all the way. No other motives. From there, see how you can develop the relationship further. Since you claim that you two can click, you know she's receptive of you as her FRIEND. Do not try to tarnish this short 6 mth relationship until both of you are ready. Guys always ready one la, but is she?
2. Are you gallant enough to give her the freedom to meet other people if you two were together? Both of you are at the peak of the social circle game and i s she ready to commit into a relationship. Will it be an open relationship or exclusive? Are you possessive? Do you feel jealous if you see her talking with another guy/s?
I dunno you but as a generic statement, be mature and show that you are mature to be a good friend, to her and her friends.
3. Will you be another a**hole like her ex? reference to point 2, both of you are young and she just got out of a crappy relationship, what makes you so special that would allow her to jump straight into another relationship with you?
Since you said she's the belle of the class, I think her ex probably felt threaten the same way. What about you? Do you feel threaten as a friend/ bf when she has so many admirers?
Gals are not guys and even some guys take forever to mentally remove the ex from their radar...
I think at this time, it's better to be non-committal until you are sure of yourself and her of herself. Meanwhile, just enjoy the company and offer her your support generously without other agenda. Meet more people too. Enlarge your social circles and bring her along.
Possession is bitter...allegiance is sweet. -
Means you have chances lor.
It's time you should advance~
Sent some choco and flowers.. -
TS,
Put yourself in her shoes. If you were her, there's a chance you might be thinking like this:
I have just gotten out of a relationship, which I have invested love and energy in, and have gained nothing but lots of hurt.
There's this guy (you of course!) who is nice, caring and is a great friend, and I feel very comfortable with him. In comparison, all the other guys seem pretentious, snobbish, and know-it-all.
I like him, but I am currently afraid to get into a relationship again, with all the bad memories, with lots to to lose. Status quo is great, we're great friends, and I don't want to lose him as a friend, it would be one of my regrets if I did.
He likes me too, and I am grateful for it, but I am really not ready. In fact, I am afraid he's going to push me, and our great friendship would be ruined. I need more time, to let my feelings stabilise.
Perhaps I am being selfish, because he seem to want a girlfriend, with all that intimate stuff, and he's waiting for me, but since I am not ready, maybe I shouldn't keep him waiting, however much I like him.
Therefore I told him weeks ago he deserved a better girl...
But I hope he can give me more time, but is it selfish to ask him to wait, at my convenience and at his expense?
Time will tell.
Hey, pal, hope that helps in clarifying your thinking. -
The truth hurts dosen't it. HahaOriginally posted by xcloud23x:AIya the girl dun like you la. WHy u act bulr. So obvious she do not like you. Either u doesnt have the $$ or you are not handsome enough. This is the cruel world.