girlfriend going out with other guys
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We are all not perfect. Neither is TS's gf.Originally posted by spinsugar:That's why I asked TS to think abt it. Can he handle what he'd have to go through/risk to do that? Does he want to? And even if she comes back, will she treasure the chance? Or just use it to further convince herself of TS's weaknesses, enjoy the ride, and then repay TS's love by running off the next chance she gets?
I think only TS can answer that and decide for himself. Sometimes it's easier to cling onto something, than admit defeat and let it go.
But Love always deserves a second chance.
Sadly, most people are too impatient or too selfish to give it a second chance.
Now TS is getting one, so is her gf. If she don't value it, at least TS has given himself a second chance. That is all to it.
What his gf will do or can do, is really everyone's best bet.
If he has to assume the worst, then there will never be a second chance. -
moletan, does yr gf feel insecure with u?
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this kind of girl... not worth taking too seriously k?
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but this way also have its setbacks?Originally posted by RETARDED_MORON:Now you're learning! Don't sound too desperate because she will know that she has you by the balls. Show her that she's merely an option, not a priority (regardless what the truth is). You will look like a guy who has a life, friends of his own and pursues other activities, and her existence merely enhances your life. Show her that you don't need her, and if she decides to leave, she'll be losing out more than you will be.
Moral of the story: never act like your life depended on or centred around a girl. Girls don't see that as commitment or dedication; they see it as desperation.
Good luck!
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wow... if like that u still with him? why?Originally posted by Miss_Cheng:hey u're such a nice guys, cheer up dont be too upset. It's her lost if she wants to end the r/s, from what u said, u've done everything for her already. Maybe its time for u to tk a break & let her show u hw much u mean to her.
My bf doesnt even rem our anni, he doesn't do anything romantic for me, he screams when i talk to my male classmates..haiz, ur gf is just so lucky to have u!!
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hmmm meaning the ball lies in her hand now?Originally posted by jojobeach:We are all not perfect. Neither is TS's gf.
But Love always deserves a second chance.
Sadly, most people are too impatient or too selfish to give it a second chance.
Now TS is getting one, so is her gf. If she don't value it, at least TS has given himself a second chance. That is all to it.
What his gf will do or can do, is really everyone's best bet.
If he has to assume the worst, then there will never be a second chance. -
What setbacks are we talking about? It's a win-win for both her and yourself. Girls are very intuitive creatures (like animals) and they act on instinct. If you're an easy catch, they will drop you like a bag of garbage; if you show her that "Hey, you know what? If you leave me, that's okay, I'll go on with my life and other girls will take your place instead," then she will want to hold on to you. They want to know that they are attached to some high-flyer accomplished guy, not some loser who sticks around her all the time.Originally posted by subaru67:but this way also have its setbacks? -
ya i understand... but i mean that it could lead to her thinking if u wanto leave me than leave me lor... u know the other version from a girl sideOriginally posted by RETARDED_MORON:What setbacks are we talking about? It's a win-win for both her and yourself. Girls are very intuitive creatures (like animals) and they act on instinct. If you're an easy catch, they will drop you like a bag of garbage; if you show her that "Hey, you know what? If you leave me, that's okay, I'll go on with my life and other girls will take your place instead," then she will want to hold on to you. They want to know that they are attached to some high-flyer accomplished guy, not some loser who sticks around her all the time. -
You never had control over her in the beginning.Originally posted by subaru67:hmmm meaning the ball lies in her hand now?
Nobody has control over the other person.
You can only play your part as best as you can.
Hopefully your actions will influence her response. -
Please lah. That retarded moron has that nick for obvious reason.. duh~Originally posted by subaru67:ya i understand... but i mean that it could lead to her thinking if u wanto leave me than leave me lor... u know the other version from a girl side
You think high flyer accomplished men are not clingy ah ?
You think they are rich and super secure ah ?
Sorry hor... even the most accomplished guy has his own insecurities ok ? -
yes only can hopeOriginally posted by jojobeach:You never had control over her in the beginning.
Nobody has control over the other person.
You can only play your part as best as you can.
Hopefully your actions will influence her response.
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Then whatOriginally posted by de_middle:yes only can hope
Hold a screwdriver to her head and yell " YOU MUST LOVE ME!"
Like that also kam wan ah ? -
[quote]Originally posted by moletan2003:
Today, I told her in person that we should stop seeing each other for a month and really decide on whether we should continue with this relationship. She agreed.
its quite obvious, the answer.. -
agree as sometimes we ourselves also dun have controlOriginally posted by jojobeach:You never had control over her in the beginning.
Nobody has control over the other person.
You can only play your part as best as you can.
Hopefully your actions will influence her response. -
Originally posted by jacqn:
so?
[quote]Originally posted by moletan2003:
[b]Today, I told her in person that we should stop seeing each other for a month and really decide on whether we should continue with this relationship. She agreed.
its quite obvious, the answer..[/b]
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ya lorOriginally posted by de_middle:yes only can hope -
that is too muchOriginally posted by jojobeach:Then what
Hold a screwdriver to her head and yell " YOU MUST LOVE ME!"
Like that also kam wan ah ? -
From what i see, TS is a devoted bf to her..
Sory man, seems your gal doesnt think that way, and i think that you asked her to stop seeing the guy is a rite move.. I dont see any reason for a gal to go out many times with the same guy just as a friend ??
I understand your feeling but hey, if she doesnt think the same way, i think you should break up with her and move on. Its her fault to not appreciate you. One day you will find a better gal. Good luck and forget her already. I bet she wont stay long with the bastard 3rd party guy. -
Hi guys, I was away for work past few days and now finally have time to post. Ok yes i know it is hurting that she is keeping her options open, I know that i am the one who is not in control. It is painful that this is happening to me the second time and I am still thinking of it til now. However, the last time it happened to me, I was overseas and I couldnt prevent it. Painful but I got over after 1 year. Now my second relationship of 2 years also faces the same problem.
I think it is inevitable that gals will always have suitors no matter which country we go. As long as there are human beings, social interaction is bound to happen. After which feelings developed and one thing leads to another. etc etc. We humans are complexed animals because of our feelings. If we are devoid of it than hey we can become a beast.
I am giving this relationship a chance because I have put in lots of effort to maintain it and I see it a waste just to let it go. I still have feelings for my girl even though she is keeping her options open. But there is a reason to it, my career is not establish and I am going to concentrate on my studies next year, any girl will feel insecure even if she loves you very much, this is Singapore and our society has brought us up as such. I dont blame her but myself cause we are at a different path in our life and I was the one who initated this relationship.
I dont know what the future has install for us, nobody knows maybe she will just leave me for another better guy or maybe she will still be there for me til death do us part. Either way, I have prepared mentally. If she leaves for another guy than I know that she is not the one for me. If she stays than I can understand her love for me better but it doesnt end there effort have to be consistent from both party to maintain a relationship.
I will never be like last time when things go against my way and I do harm to myself. I realized that it is pointless but rather I will let nature take its cause and dont be too hard on myself if things turn against me. I have gone through a low point in my life the past week and now the only way is up. just like the stock market, there will always be either a bull or a bear run and sometimes the occasional horizontal. But hey this is life, I will embrace it with happiness need to release my sadness. God bless all of you. -
Very well said, I cannot agree more mate. Chin up mate and walk on.Originally posted by moletan2003:As long as there are human beings, social interaction is bound to happen. After which feelings developed and one thing leads to another. etc etc. We humans are complexed animals because of our feelings. If we are devoid of it than hey we can become a beast.
But hey this is life, I will embrace it with happiness need to release my sadness. -
GOod thinking. good luckOriginally posted by moletan2003:Hi guys, I was away for work past few days and now finally have time to post. Ok yes i know it is hurting that she is keeping her options open, I know that i am the one who is not in control. It is painful that this is happening to me the second time and I am still thinking of it til now. However, the last time it happened to me, I was overseas and I couldnt prevent it. Painful but I got over after 1 year. Now my second relationship of 2 years also faces the same problem.
I think it is inevitable that gals will always have suitors no matter which country we go. As long as there are human beings, social interaction is bound to happen. After which feelings developed and one thing leads to another. etc etc. We humans are complexed animals because of our feelings. If we are devoid of it than hey we can become a beast.
I am giving this relationship a chance because I have put in lots of effort to maintain it and I see it a waste just to let it go. I still have feelings for my girl even though she is keeping her options open. But there is a reason to it, my career is not establish and I am going to concentrate on my studies next year, any girl will feel insecure even if she loves you very much, this is Singapore and our society has brought us up as such. I dont blame her but myself cause we are at a different path in our life and I was the one who initated this relationship.
I dont know what the future has install for us, nobody knows maybe she will just leave me for another better guy or maybe she will still be there for me til death do us part. Either way, I have prepared mentally. If she leaves for another guy than I know that she is not the one for me. If she stays than I can understand her love for me better but it doesnt end there effort have to be consistent from both party to maintain a relationship.
I will never be like last time when things go against my way and I do harm to myself. I realized that it is pointless but rather I will let nature take its cause and dont be too hard on myself if things turn against me. I have gone through a low point in my life the past week and now the only way is up. just like the stock market, there will always be either a bull or a bear run and sometimes the occasional horizontal. But hey this is life, I will embrace it with happiness need to release my sadness. God bless all of you. -
haiz.....Originally posted by moletan2003:Hi guys, I was away for work past few days and now finally have time to post. Ok yes i know it is hurting that she is keeping her options open, I know that i am the one who is not in control. It is painful that this is happening to me the second time and I am still thinking of it til now. However, the last time it happened to me, I was overseas and I couldnt prevent it. Painful but I got over after 1 year. Now my second relationship of 2 years also faces the same problem.
I think it is inevitable that gals will always have suitors no matter which country we go. As long as there are human beings, social interaction is bound to happen. After which feelings developed and one thing leads to another. etc etc. We humans are complexed animals because of our feelings. If we are devoid of it than hey we can become a beast.
I am giving this relationship a chance because I have put in lots of effort to maintain it and I see it a waste just to let it go. I still have feelings for my girl even though she is keeping her options open. But there is a reason to it, my career is not establish and I am going to concentrate on my studies next year, any girl will feel insecure even if she loves you very much, this is Singapore and our society has brought us up as such. I dont blame her but myself cause we are at a different path in our life and I was the one who initated this relationship.
I dont know what the future has install for us, nobody knows maybe she will just leave me for another better guy or maybe she will still be there for me til death do us part. Either way, I have prepared mentally. If she leaves for another guy than I know that she is not the one for me. If she stays than I can understand her love for me better but it doesnt end there effort have to be consistent from both party to maintain a relationship.
I will never be like last time when things go against my way and I do harm to myself. I realized that it is pointless but rather I will let nature take its cause and dont be too hard on myself if things turn against me. I have gone through a low point in my life the past week and now the only way is up. just like the stock market, there will always be either a bull or a bear run and sometimes the occasional horizontal. But hey this is life, I will embrace it with happiness need to release my sadness. God bless all of you. -
what do you mean this kind of girl?!?!?!Originally posted by newcomer:this kind of girl... not worth taking too seriously k?
i'm sorry, but i think most clever girls are like that.
do you mean that if we are attached, we cannot go out with other guys anymore?!?!?! what's this? what if one day the Boyfriend ditch us? or if we find out that we actually do not match in the long run?
a girl's beauty and youth expires very fast! as opposed to guys! there is still a market for guys even when they are old.
so i say TS's girlfriend is very clever to keep her options open. and all girls should be like that!
please do not blame your girlfriend or assume she goes sleeping with other guys. that's the worst a guy can ever do! if you are really that good, your girlfriend won't like anyone else at all! she wouldn't even be considering. the fact that she is considering about other guys means that the relationship is stale or you are not as good as you think after all. true, you may have done many romantic things for her...but maybe that's not what she wants? and i agree with quality time instead of quantity.
anyway i love my boyfriend very much. it's not because he's romantic or what. but because he can always make me laugh when i'm down and we just have that certain something between us. i don't know if we will go a long long way, and i carry no hopes too. i just enjoy being with him. he trusts me. i go out with guy friends, informs him, and he will say things like, "huh! ok...i trust you. have fun! don't go home too late though!" whatever. and because i love him a lot, even if the temptation to stray appears sometimes, i jsut think of what he said to me, and the temptation immediately disappears. also, i introduce him to all my guy friends whom i often hang out with so that he can have a peace of mind and know who he is 'dealing' with.
i'm notorious for being too playful sometimes by my girlfriends last time. and i know it myself too. but being with my boyfriend for 6 years and going on, i think i am touched by his strong trust towards me and his way of just letting me do what i want as long as i'm happy. his 'as long as you are happy, i'm happy' attitude towards me makes me treasure him even more. this is what i call a Number 1 best Boyfriend in the whole universe. don't need to buy me things. just trust me. just be there for me. and i will give you all my love that you deserve!
that's the way with women. -
now its 2 side of story
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Exactly, finish your studies first, we gals will be waiting for you, yo dude, as a gal, let me tell u the truth, you gf have a flowering and flirting heart, no true love, when a gal really love her bf, she will wait for him, go out only with him and do things for him. She will never go out with another man without your permission.
Since she is not respecting and cherishing this love, forget it, lesson learnt, love school fees paid, life goes on and let live for a better tomorrow.