Lonely people fall in to chat your feeling!!
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I feel the same as you, meilin. At least you have some close friends. I don't even have one. And I'm already in my late 20s.Originally posted by Meilin86:I found out that I grow older, my friends are getting lesser.
Moreover, my close friends never keep promises. They said they would go out this weekends or so, in the end they say they can't make it so weekend is for me to go out alone. They will come and find me when they need help. I am being used by them.
As for not so close friends, I message them, they just reply with a few lines of greetings and that's in the end. I can't do some of the activities such as badminton or tennis, because nobody wants to go although he or she likes the game.
There is no point to know from friendsters or facebook. It's a waste of time. Meet-up is very unlikely.
With technology make things worse, my friends never like to talk on phone or meet face to face. They prefer msn and sms. Why?
Therefore my life is surrounded with busy work in weekdays and lonely life in weekend. The cycles repeat. I afraid I can't take it and jumped off the building.
What shall I do? I haven't done any wrongdoing to people. What's wrong with me?
Anyone have this feelings. Do share your other experiences about yourself.
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I agree, just hope that meilin will be careful with how much she reveals about herself to online strangers.Originally posted by Zarks:Lol.. it still up to the gal to add them or not ,hopefully the gals who add anyone can be careful not to reveal too much personal stuff.
Not all strangers are buayas, but do take note that buayas are always on the prowl for lonely people.
Take care, meilin. -
Quite true for some.Originally posted by subaru67:when lonely u envy couples.... when u r in couple, sometimes u wish u were single -
Wow, totally agree with the above! Especially the last para about addressing loneliness. Really, my personal experience also tells me not to bank on such channels to meet lifelong friends. But it's always better to expand one's social circles in the right areas, so that eventually you will meet a few who can be your lifelong friends.Originally posted by walesa:There's perfectly nothing wrong with you - at least, not on the basis of what you've just typed.
The fact of the matter is you need to know who are strangers, acquaintances and friends - blindly befriending any average joe or plain janes doesn't exactly make them friends. This is especially true if you happen to have friends who congregate in groups (ie.you know and interact with them on a group basis rather than on an individual basis). As most people behaving that way tend to make friends on the basis of wanting to "fit in" to allay their insecurities rather than befriending others through a common interest/circumstance, such relationships normally wouldn't withstand the test of time. In truth, such people will be spending their lifetimes making friends in phases (ie.at school, work, etc) without keeping any substantial friends that actually last a lifetime. In all honesty, do you really need such friends?
Loneliness isn't a worthy reason to feed your insecurities methinks - instead of viewing yourself as an outcast, you should feel sorry for your insecure "friends" who seem to have numerous friends on the surface, but are ultimately the loneliest people around. Quality of friendships certainly far supercedes the quantity of friendships.
If it's loneliness you wish to address, do go and join some activities to interact with others as some have suggested. However, don't bank on such channels as viable avenues for you to make lifelong friends because, chances are, such "friends" (well, most by the law of averages) will become strangers in the distant future anyway. -
Originally posted by Isis:
Agree wholeheartedly with the above on balancing the need for friendship with the need to cultivate personal interests which will strengthen your resilience in times of loneliness.
Other than pro-actively seeking out new friends, take some time out for yourself, to nuture yourself. I like to have some time enjoying reading a new book, have a mini-home spa treatment. There has to be a balance between work, social and yourself which is lacking in your current likestyle.
There is nothing wrong with you. You are just at a [b]temporay standstill in your life. You have the capability to change alot of things. Stay happy yeh.
[/b] -
How old are you?
I find that true too. As one gets older, one is preoccupied with work. One will rather go out with colleagues after work instead of meeting up with friends for some tea. This is because it's more convenient to go out with colleagues as you do no have to arrange for the meeting time and meeting place.
This slowly becomes a cycle and you'll slowly drift apart from your friends. As time goes by, you'll be going back home after work and the vicious cycle continues -
Wouldnt u get bore seeing the same bunch of ppl over and over again? I mean u work with ur fellow colleagues 5days a week. Still meet up after work with same group of ppl? Once in a while i can understand, but the main problem with mixing with the same ppl, working in the same env can get tiredous at time. Not ot mention mixing office politic after work hours!Originally posted by dangerboi:How old are you?
I find that true too. As one gets older, one is preoccupied with work. One will rather go out with colleagues after work instead of meeting up with friends for some tea. This is because it's more convenient to go out with colleagues as you do no have to arrange for the meeting time and meeting place.
This slowly becomes a cycle and you'll slowly drift apart from your friends. As time goes by, you'll be going back home after work and the vicious cycle continues
That is why sometime, it is alot better off meeting up with fren of different profession. At least u get to hear topic that is refreshing.
Internet are a just another mean to get to know more ppl. Doesn't me u cant meet someone who might eventually become ur long true friend. But neither is it the holy grail for fren replacement surgery. Just mix that along with other thing that u do normally and it should balance out ur life. -
I have the same feeling as you too. Quite bored meeting colleagues during weekend. They still talk about work even outside, having gossip period. One and for while still okay.Originally posted by EarlNeo:Wouldnt u get bore seeing the same bunch of ppl over and over again? I mean u work with ur fellow colleagues 5days a week. Still meet up after work with same group of ppl? Once in a while i can understand, but the main problem with mixing with the same ppl, working in the same env can get tiredous at time. Not ot mention mixing office politic after work hours!
That is why sometime, it is alot better off meeting up with fren of different profession. At least u get to hear topic that is refreshing.
Internet are a just another mean to get to know more ppl. Doesn't me u cant meet someone who might eventually become ur long true friend. But neither is it the holy grail for fren replacement surgery. Just mix that along with other thing that u do normally and it should balance out ur life.
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loneliness shi ren zuo chu lai de...
go find ways to kill them.. -
I rather be lonely than to be put as other's last fiddle.
When no one else in the world wants to go out with them then they look for you is more painful. -
I like being alone most of the time...
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hm will u be furthering ur studies?
if u are ,higher chances of making new friends
call up some of ur old skoolmates to meet up?? -
Speaking of lonely , sometime i really feel lonely
Coz im not those noisy type , i am extreme quiet type , that like to observe around and thinking lot of stuff wherever i go , i hardly talk to my friends , classmate or collegue. Maybe i should say i dont know wat to talk. They ask me thing i just say , yes or no , can or cannot
Am i very strange a person where i meet new friend or classmate , i never talk to them at all , unless i know them VERY well (at least years) , and alway my chatting mode is alway set to off.
Sometime i just wish there will be someone who sit beside me so we can have a small chat and express myself. -
people scared of a bearOriginally posted by Simple_Bear:I like being alone most of the time... 
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Hmm ture for me also. lonely. i went into the workline for 6 mth liao. hardly go out. day off i will be at home mainly. the only time i felt less lonely is when i work. At least there is someone there to talk to. after work is really tiring to go out. even for minor task. And furthermore i seldom ask ppl out, only ppl ask me out. But eversince all my fren started working, hardly meet any of them. haiz...
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Maybe taking an IQ test would help diagnose your problem. Scientific research has shown individuals having an exceptionally high IQ tend to exhibit a higher tendency to be loners simply because they are capable of comprehending higher-level thought processes (which would mean their interests would be pretty different from those of ordinary folks) that are beyond the grasp and interests of those who are less intelligent. By the law of averages, if you had an IQ of 135 and above, only 1 in a 100 people you meet will possess your IQ (or higher than yours) - naturally, the probability of you having something "common" with others to ignite a friendship will then decrease. Ultimately, if the reason behind your inability to connect with others boils down to this, then it really isn't so much of a social problem as you perceive it to be.Originally posted by Unidentified:Speaking of lonely , sometime i really feel lonely
Coz im not those noisy type , i am extreme quiet type , that like to observe around and thinking lot of stuff wherever i go , i hardly talk to my friends , classmate or collegue. Maybe i should say i dont know wat to talk. They ask me thing i just say , yes or no , can or cannot
Am i very strange a person where i meet new friend or classmate , i never talk to them at all , unless i know them VERY well (at least years) , and alway my chatting mode is alway set to off.
Sometime i just wish there will be someone who sit beside me so we can have a small chat and express myself.
As a matter of fact, folks like Goethe, Einstein, Michaelangelo, Hitler were renowned loners... -
Hey u r not the only one lor...Originally posted by Unidentified:Speaking of lonely , sometime i really feel lonely
Coz im not those noisy type , i am extreme quiet type , that like to observe around and thinking lot of stuff wherever i go , i hardly talk to my friends , classmate or collegue. Maybe i should say i dont know wat to talk. They ask me thing i just say , yes or no , can or cannot
Am i very strange a person where i meet new friend or classmate , i never talk to them at all , unless i know them VERY well (at least years) , and alway my chatting mode is alway set to off.
Sometime i just wish there will be someone who sit beside me so we can have a small chat and express myself.
Everyone is born differently and has different destinies. That what i believe.
cheers. -
I have this problem too, aslo those quiet type. Sometime is like no topic to talk or conversation just dries up. I have something in mind, but have problem express out in words. I will just Ya, Ya, eh, Ya again. Guess I have problem in command of language.Originally posted by Unidentified:Speaking of lonely , sometime i really feel lonely
Coz im not those noisy type , i am extreme quiet type , that like to observe around and thinking lot of stuff wherever i go , i hardly talk to my friends , classmate or collegue. Maybe i should say i dont know wat to talk. They ask me thing i just say , yes or no , can or cannot
Am i very strange a person where i meet new friend or classmate , i never talk to them at all , unless i know them VERY well (at least years) , and alway my chatting mode is alway set to off.
Sometime i just wish there will be someone who sit beside me so we can have a small chat and express myself. -
yea , that the feeling , i feel that as if i dont know how to talk , and there not so much to talk about.Originally posted by Meilin86:I have this problem too, aslo those quiet type. Sometime is like no topic to talk or conversation just dries up. I have something in mind, but have problem express out in words. I will just Ya, Ya, eh, Ya again. Guess I have problem in command of language.
Envy my friend 3rd day of course only mixed very well with the others , my 1st coversation to them is when they ask me how old , i only start little talking to them about 1 month later. -
You're not alone in being lonely (pardon the pun). That being said, through bitter past experiences when I used to joke & clown around only to be subsequently disrespected & thought of as 'weird' behind my back, I have resolved to keep to myself as much as possible in my everyday life. I will talk, but only in the course of my work, and on a social level, I keep away from my colleagues. Weekends, I'll just indulge in solitary activities if my (non-colleaue) buddies are not free. I have totally lost interest in even trying to become a part of this hypocritical society.
Perhaps we are born loners; we just have to cope with it the best we can. Hope you can take some comfort in this, Meilin. -
Me too, enjoying watching TV *so much fun alone*Originally posted by Simple_Bear:I like being alone most of the time... 