It has been quite a long while
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since i last felt the way I'm feeling now.
We're the best of friends for almost 4years already. Though some people may say we appear like a couple. Deep down in me, I do hope so. How he feels exactly? I cannot be sure.
He was always there for me. I THOUGHT he somehow feels for me too. I was wrong, today. I saw all that I did for the past years, wasted, into drain.
I did not make my feelings known to him. Again I THOUGHT he somehow knew. He did not make any steps closer too. It's okay I always tell myself, he is still single, and we are the best of friends, I am his one and only female friend. We confide in each other many times.
That night, he went clubbing with a few of his friends. One friend brought along a girl. She was attached. The boyfriend was there even! She still danced to her guy friends very closely.
As usual, we sms in the night, even during that night when he dancing. He tells me about this girl. He got stunned at first sight. He went out for a smoke and he calles me. I was so glad. We talked alot for 16minutes even when his friends rushed him in, he said No all cause he wants to talk on phone. He ask them go in first.
After awhile, we hang. Still SMS a little, he stopped after awhile. Until 3hours later he calls me again. He told me the girl pulled him and danced to him. Grinded him. He said he felt happy in the sense that at first sight he was already taken a liking to her, now she dancing with him.
He could not get over it. He could not get over her. He askes me Have you seen me this crazy over a girl after so long? No right! Oh my god I cannot stop thinking of her.
So I heard that and I was thinking.. Okay you haven felt that for a long time, neither have I felt what I am feeling now. Just earlier on you making me so happy. Then suddenly those words come, I never cried so hard in my life.
My fingers are trembling now as I am typing.
He says the girl is too wild, anyhow dance with guys. But the friend that brought the girl there, said that today is the first time she danced until so wild to anybody.
He told me he will try to know this girl and hope that she is not those wild one. I said what a good friend would say Okay man, you should go for her, though she is attached, but no harm making friends first right. Never seen you so crazy for a girl before.. Haha. Happy ha this time.
Indeed, he sounded really happy. He could not even sleep. When we were on the phone, he was not even paying Thirty percent of the things I said.
Finally, I get to know how he feels. I am not sure if this is a good or bad thing. But one thing for sure, I want to move on. But I do not know if I can still kerb that feelings down whenever I see him.
Thanks for reading this long post... I am really feeling silly now... -
I need to add on.
Maybe you guys will think that he is those desperate and 'touchy' guys. Okay I can ensure that he is not. You may say I feel for him which is why I say that he is good, but that is the fact.
I know not all guys are forever desperate. There are a few faithful and nice ones.
Lastly, I value all the comments given, sincerely thank you.
I always thought I could handle it when such a thing happens, but I am wrong.
I am super wrong. When I heard his voice on the phone, I know he was happy and laughing. Those moments, I kept telling myself to STFU and honestly I encourage him to go for her. If that is what makes him happy, even if it is going out with other girls... I am okay, but I will take time to accept it.
I have work later... And I am still awake now at 8am... Haha. -
U think u look pretty in his eyes?
U think u have the characteriestics he looks for in girls that can be found in u?
The fact that he didn't advanced anything further can be attributed to 2 facts. First, he dun like u. Second, he is too shy to confess and hope to keep it there.
If u really wants to be with him, confess to him instead. Dun tell me i girl leh... this is 21st century liao. Some guys, like me, are just ignorant to such hints.
Perhaps he just wanna enjoy life with whatever he has now. Perhaps he is hurt deep down by past r/s. If possible try to ask him about his past romance and c whether he is affected seriously by any.
All in all, u want him, u go confess. Gd luck.
PS no point feeling sad as u are not even rejected yet lol -
TS,
your friend is obviously showing signs of infatuation with that girl, since most guys feel attracted to sexy qualities a girl displays, e.g. dancing, demeanour etc. It is most likely a passing phase, but it's hard to tell for how long..
In my humble opinion, it's not a good time to confess, since he's still in that infatuation mood.
Perhaps he's unsure of his own feelings towards you.. But I would say he probably has some feelings towards you, though not as strong as those you have towards him.
I think you can alleviate the pain you are feeling now, by widening your social circle.. and meeting new guys, without any pressure to enter a relationship.
Hope that helps. -
He treats you as his best female friend but you have feelings for him.Originally posted by 15963:since i last felt the way I'm feeling now.
We're the best of friends for almost 4years already. Though some people may say we appear like a couple. Deep down in me, I do hope so. How he feels exactly? I cannot be sure.
He was always there for me. I THOUGHT he somehow feels for me too. I was wrong, today. I saw all that I did for the past years, wasted, into drain.
I did not make my feelings known to him. Again I THOUGHT he somehow knew. He did not make any steps closer too. It's okay I always tell myself, he is still single, and we are the best of friends, I am his one and only female friend. We confide in each other many times.
That night, he went clubbing with a few of his friends. One friend brought along a girl. She was attached. The boyfriend was there even! She still danced to her guy friends very closely.
As usual, we sms in the night, even during that night when he dancing. He tells me about this girl. He got stunned at first sight. He went out for a smoke and he calles me. I was so glad. We talked alot for 16minutes even when his friends rushed him in, he said No all cause he wants to talk on phone. He ask them go in first.
After awhile, we hang. Still SMS a little, he stopped after awhile. Until 3hours later he calls me again. He told me the girl pulled him and danced to him. Grinded him. He said he felt happy in the sense that at first sight he was already taken a liking to her, now she dancing with him.
He could not get over it. He could not get over her. He askes me Have you seen me this crazy over a girl after so long? No right! Oh my god I cannot stop thinking of her.
So I heard that and I was thinking.. Okay you haven felt that for a long time, neither have I felt what I am feeling now. Just earlier on you making me so happy. Then suddenly those words come, I never cried so hard in my life.
My fingers are trembling now as I am typing.
He says the girl is too wild, anyhow dance with guys. But the friend that brought the girl there, said that today is the first time she danced until so wild to anybody.
He told me he will try to know this girl and hope that she is not those wild one. I said what a good friend would say Okay man, you should go for her, though she is attached, but no harm making friends first right. Never seen you so crazy for a girl before.. Haha. Happy ha this time.
Indeed, he sounded really happy. He could not even sleep. When we were on the phone, he was not even paying Thirty percent of the things I said.
Finally, I get to know how he feels. I am not sure if this is a good or bad thing. But one thing for sure, I want to move on. But I do not know if I can still kerb that feelings down whenever I see him.
Thanks for reading this long post... I am really feeling silly now...
That sums up everything.
1) look for other guys he is not worth it. I know he may be the good good guy but sadly he treats you as his best friend. Thats all.
2) Do you want him to sent you pictures of him in bed with other gals for you to give up? If yes then happy waiting. -
dun let the other b1tch steal your guy... its time to seduce him back or else its too late~~
to apologise~ -
maybe just tell him your true feelings and leave him for awhile. maybe just the occasional chat.
let him sort himself out.
sometimes people just ain't sure of what they're feeling, take things for granted.
and only realize it when its gone. -
x 2.Originally posted by stellazio:maybe just tell him your true feelings and leave him for awhile. maybe just the occasional chat.
let him sort himself out.
sometimes people just ain't sure of what they're feeling, take things for granted.
and only realize it when its gone.
-
yeah..Originally posted by stellazio:maybe just tell him your true feelings and leave him for awhile. maybe just the occasional chat.
let him sort himself out.
sometimes people just ain't sure of what they're feeling, take things for granted.
and only realize it when its gone.
regrets later..
people are like that anyway..
they don't cherish -
and as you said, he hadn't had much contact with females for a few years now.
a girl grinded him, might have gotten the wrong impression.. -
then he's weak man..Originally posted by stellazio:and as you said, he hadn't had much contact with females for a few years now.
a girl grinded him, might have gotten the wrong impression..
just dirty dancing he gets attracted? -
fatal attraction, or rather seduction?Originally posted by MidnightK:then he's weak man..
just dirty dancing he gets attracted? -
awww so sad
lets just pray and hope tat, the guy u love found the gal wild and playful
after tat, he will give up hope and then u can make ur intention clear
why don't u take the 1st step of telling him, u like him
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4 years.. I bet that hurts alot.
I don't know how girls feel here, but if I'm the guy you're referring to, I won't know how you feel towards me (the guy). Drop some hints, or maybe, just express your true feelings. The feeling of rejection sucks, I know because I've been through that shit, but if you don't try, you might just lose a nice guy as you've mentioned.
Tell him to be frank. If he doesn't like you, good friends would just do fine. The key is to move on and find another guy truthful to you.
and yes, rejection fucking sucks
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maybe he thot 4 years, u also never show any sign that u interested in him...
then he also think he no chance liao...
be brave... tell him... then hope for the best
happy, come back and tell us the good news....
sad, come and share your woes... u have lots of listeners here for you to pour your sorrows to... -
u can shout it out
you have only one life
live it. -
Oh my. Thanks alot people for reading! I feel so much better just looking at the replies. I do not feel so alone as much.
Honestly appreciate all the comments.
Firstly, I just had a conversation with him online. Seems like he is still crazy over that girl. The way he describes her... murders me. He said he is not going to die happy until he gets her.
Secondly, why am I not saying to him how I feel deep down?
What will happen to our surrounding friends if we do not work out?
What will happen to our dear friendship we cherished so much?
Please know that our friends are all in one group. It is just going to be so embarrassing seeing him, awkward is the word. And I will be sure his friends will know about it. I just cannot imagine the results of voicing out my feelings.
I dropped many hints before.
Obvious or not, I am not sure.
I organised his birthday. I planned everything. I got him presents and a lot of memories things like photos of each of his friends. I got him flowers, all delivered to his place without him knowing. I baked cookies. I brought him lunch when he is at home and lazy to go out eat. He stays in Sembawang and I at Woodlands.
My friend told me, I missed my chance, I should already tell him when he was single. Now that he has a target, things are hard.
I feel so restless. I wish nothing of such sort happened. -
I am afraid of the answer.Originally posted by gunner77:awww so sad
lets just pray and hope tat, the guy u love found the gal wild and playful
after tat, he will give up hope and then u can make ur intention clear
why don't u take the 1st step of telling him, u like him
To be honest, I do think that he likes me somehow a little. But I cannot be sure.
But now I know that is not true, because if yes, he will not go so crazy over a girl. Everything he telles me now, I put into mind.
I wish for the day he knows about my feeling of him.
I do not want to do anything now. Because I cannot think of any that will change the direction of his heart also. He is really crazy over her.
I never thought that my tear glands are powerful.
I cried myself to sleep last night. I woke up and I immediately calls one of my best friend to discuss what happened. After that friend, I call up another to ask for opinion, deep down, I just want people to tell me he loves me and what he is doing is to make me jealous.
But that will not happen.
I stared blankly into the air. I feel... There really got nothing much for me to go do. Can only wait for the result see if the girl is like him too.
I hate how I am feeling... -
Do you think this is the right time?Originally posted by stellazio:maybe just tell him your true feelings and leave him for awhile. maybe just the occasional chat.
let him sort himself out.
sometimes people just ain't sure of what they're feeling, take things for granted.
and only realize it when its gone.
I am very afraid.
Even chatting online now he will keep telling me about the girl.
Or are you telling me to just disappear for awhile and see if he is "lost" without me around? Cause you say he may be taking me for granted.
Sorry if I reading your comments the wrong way...
I value your comments. Thank you -
Thank you. Your comment made me smileOriginally posted by Father Lim:maybe he thot 4 years, u also never show any sign that u interested in him...
then he also think he no chance liao...
be brave... tell him... then hope for the best
happy, come back and tell us the good news....
sad, come and share your woes... u have lots of listeners here for you to pour your sorrows to...
My friend told me that also.
I am afraid of the answer.
True I had a few boyfriends through the 4years. Maybe its why he thinks he have no chance. But if I do not like him, would I bother to go buy him food when he is alone? He knows how busy I am.
I never once rejected his calles or his asking me out. Even for stupid things like he need a charger I go pass to him. I do not do those things for other guy friends, maybe pass things I am okay, but surely no buying food.
It is obvious I always reply his messages and calls so enthusiastically. How can he not tell? I always make reasons for us to meet, say that This weekend so boring, can we go out do something fun? Any good movies lately?
I have always been the one initiating. I askes other guy friends because I say we are friends as a group, if I never ask them and they know, I will appear bad. And I am scared if they think why I always glue to him only, everything always only seek of his opinions. So I am keeping a "friend" front.
I of course do not want anyone to know about my feelings of him.
I wish to stay away of him at this period. But I know if anytime he calles again, I will be there to answer, to accompany him through boring nights, to meet up and dine. I will not reject or resist him.
A small note -:: I encouraged him to go for the girl. I do not want to appear jealous and make him feel weird. It is breaking my heart so... Doing things that are so against what I want.
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Hello there.Originally posted by altonACCS:4 years.. I bet that hurts alot.
I don't know how girls feel here, but if I'm the guy you're referring to, I won't know how you feel towards me (the guy). Drop some hints, or maybe, just express your true feelings. The feeling of rejection sucks, I know because I've been through that shit, but if you don't try, you might just lose a nice guy as you've mentioned.
Tell him to be frank. If he doesn't like you, good friends would just do fine. The key is to move on and find another guy truthful to you.
and yes, rejection fucking sucks
Firstly, thanks for takeing time to reply. I appreciate that very much
Maybe it is because I had been rejected twice. Both guys telling me we just cannot work out because no feelings are grown between us.
Last time, I took up so much courage and confessing to a guy I like is something a crazy person would do, to me is like destroying your own very close frienship with the guy, then ending is nothing you imagined. It is all bad things.
I also wish I can tell him that I feel alot for him over the many years. Then if he rejects me, okay I wish good friends will still stay the same in us, and that nothing will change. I wish we will be still okay if going out for movies, going out for dinner. I wish he will still calles me to buy him food. But after confessing and have a rejection, I know it will not be easy to see or face him already.
He may say it is okay we stay as good friends. But who knows maye deep inside from him he sees me then awkward. What will happen if he decided to stop contacting me?
Yes sorry I go abit far. Back to rejection, Okay I am very afraid. Very very much. Some friends scold me saying I am useless for me not brave enough to say out how I feel of him. I reply them say Okay I am useless. But I rather I do not know the answer, than to know that he do not love me (Yes I know this setence maybe make many of you readers feel like I am hopeless and giving up on me) But Please understand, I really do not know what else to do.
Been through one fail time, easily give up. I am scared of history happen again. You also tell me rejection sucks. I already hint in some ways, maybe too mild. So he never get it. Are guys really suck at getting hints? It is clear I do many things for him and none as much for other guys.
Tell me how. -
If he is a good and worthy friend, he will not stop calling you even if he finds it impossible between the 2 of you. if you really loves him that much, what is a little risk of awkwardness (should you get rejected) vs life time happiness with the right guy? You take your pick.Originally posted by 15963:Hello there.
Firstly, thanks for takeing time to reply. I appreciate that very much
Maybe it is because I had been rejected twice. Both guys telling me we just cannot work out because no feelings are grown between us.
Last time, I took up so much courage and confessing to a guy I like is something a crazy person would do, to me is like destroying your own very close frienship with the guy, then ending is nothing you imagined. It is all bad things.
I also wish I can tell him that I feel alot for him over the many years. Then if he rejects me, okay I wish good friends will still stay the same in us, and that nothing will change. I wish we will be still okay if going out for movies, going out for dinner. I wish he will still calles me to buy him food. But after confessing and have a rejection, I know it will not be easy to see or face him already.
He may say it is okay we stay as good friends. But who knows maye deep inside from him he sees me then awkward. What will happen if he decided to stop contacting me?
Yes sorry I go abit far. Back to rejection, Okay I am very afraid. Very very much. Some friends scold me saying I am useless for me not brave enough to say out how I feel of him. I reply them say Okay I am useless. But I rather I do not know the answer, than to know that he do not love me (Yes I know this setence maybe make many of you readers feel like I am hopeless and giving up on me) But Please understand, I really do not know what else to do.
Been through one fail time, easily give up. I am scared of history happen again. You also tell me rejection sucks. I already hint in some ways, maybe too mild. So he never get it. Are guys really suck at getting hints? It is clear I do many things for him and none as much for other guys.
Tell me how.
I agree with some that there might be a possibility that he had liked you during the 5 years. I do not rule this out.
I think you should stop "blaming" him for not getting your "hints" of doing things for him like buying flowers and buying food, cos these are actuallly NOT hints at all. Good friends do such things for each other. Rather, stop praying that he will know what you think. Communicate. How is anything going to work when there is no communication and either party always expect the other to know? We read this so many times even in magazine. Do not expect your partner to know how you think, cos they never will. Communication is the answer.
Well, since you have so many good friends who are mutual friends too, how about testing the water first? Check the grounds first.
But i do think that this is not the right time. Since he is so infatuated with that girl, your risk of confessing now is probably so much higher.
You can either wait till his crush blows over, or test the water. Think about it.
Good luck! -
you have spent a little too much time hanging out with this guy, ur investments in him were just too much.
i wouldn't urged you to confess now coz its not gonna work rather you shld start focusing on new stuff & learn not to hesitate too much if such feelings come around again next time -
Wow your situation seems rather torturing. From the way I read I think he feel very comfortable sharing his happy and sad with you, kinda will create illusion or it may feel like more than friend. I will feel the same if it happen to me. Do you ever felt the kind of silence with him thats comfortable and soothing and almost make you feel he's the one?
I dont know how he feel about you. But there could be a possibility of him feeling the same as you do before but afraid of confessing for fear of breaking the friendship. Its just my assumption.
You are being so nice to him. I think he really mean alot to you. This is a tough. but dun know does it sounds ok : why not writing out how you feel mildy in a new year card and pass to him.
If I were you, I wouldnt encourage him to woo the girl, I would tell him my true opinion of the girl, she is such a B***, grinding and sometimes being wild to every guy, gosh so unacceptable while attached to a bf. I am sure its an infatuation that wouldnt last. maybe~ her flirtatous moves had charm him into believing he is special to her.
or maybe~
I got a wild assumption is "could he be making out all this I am crazy about the wild girl to test whether will you be jealous?" Show your true feeling about it, show you are jealous. -
nevermind.. i think he'll get rejected by the girl..
