Seriously, those things you mention above will never come across as hints under most reasonable circumstances. For a start, how's the guy you like supposed to know how you treat every other guy to begin with?Originally posted by 15963:True I had a few boyfriends through the 4years. Maybe its why he thinks he have no chance. But if I do not like him, would I bother to go buy him food when he is alone? He knows how busy I am.
I never once rejected his calles or his asking me out. Even for stupid things like he need a charger I go pass to him. I do not do those things for other guy friends, maybe pass things I am okay, but surely no buying food.
It is obvious I always reply his messages and calls so enthusiastically. How can he not tell? I always make reasons for us to meet, say that This weekend so boring, can we go out do something fun? Any good movies lately?
I have always been the one initiating. I askes other guy friends because I say we are friends as a group, if I never ask them and they know, I will appear bad. And I am scared if they think why I always glue to him only, everything always only seek of his opinions. So I am keeping a "friend" front.
I of course do not want anyone to know about my feelings of him.![]()
so now u have to play tha waiting gameOriginally posted by 15963:I am afraid of the answer.
To be honest, I do think that he likes me somehow a little. But I cannot be sure.
But now I know that is not true, because if yes, he will not go so crazy over a girl. Everything he telles me now, I put into mind.
I wish for the day he knows about my feeling of him.
I do not want to do anything now. Because I cannot think of any that will change the direction of his heart also. He is really crazy over her.
I never thought that my tear glands are powerful.
I cried myself to sleep last night. I woke up and I immediately calls one of my best friend to discuss what happened. After that friend, I call up another to ask for opinion, deep down, I just want people to tell me he loves me and what he is doing is to make me jealous.
But that will not happen.
I stared blankly into the air. I feel... There really got nothing much for me to go do. Can only wait for the result see if the girl is like him too.
I hate how I am feeling...
The friend that brought the girl there.Originally posted by stellazio:nevermind.. i think he'll get rejected by the girl..![]()
Why would she not go for my friend?Originally posted by gunner77:so now u have to play tha waiting game
just remmeber, if the gal doesn't accpet the guy.
u HAVE to tell him ur feelings. pls don not sit and wait for him to say something. good luck
ps : i don''t tink tat wild gal would go for ur friend
ur agony very deep. 4 yearsOriginally posted by 15963:Why would she not go for my friend?
My friend mentioned to me today when smsing, he say the thing that is obstructing him is that she is attached.
He continued saying It is okay, I am willing to wait, No worries here.
I think he is bent on her.
Serious, finally.
If fortunately enough for me, in the end they are not together, I have to tell him my feelings already? Surely?
Like I replied the rest, I am very scared. I have no guts to open and say. I think he will find me disgusting because later he thinking How can my best female friend falles for me? It is so weird. I do not wish to see her anymore, for if I keep leading her on? Wasting our time.
I wish to let him know and I want to know how he feeling of me too. But I just feel that there are alot of things involved...
Hello there. Thank you for replying. Firstly I am 21 now.Originally posted by walesa:Seriously, those things you mention above will never come across as hints under most reasonable circumstances. For a start, how's the guy you like supposed to know how you treat every other guy to begin with?
As for the latter, I do not understand how others' perception (and other concerns relating to your potential failure) should matter so much to you that you would actually prize their opinions above your own happiness.
How old are you by the way?
Do not feel bad for avoiding instead of facing the problem. Because I am also like this. I know how you feel. It is something we do not wish for also, but just cannot help it, am I right to say this?Originally posted by gunner77:ur agony very deep. 4 years![]()
poor gal
the thing about wild gals is tat, they ALWAYS change their bf until they found the prefect one. even the best of the best oso they will dump them. get wat i mean ?
since u are afaid to open ur mouth, use sms ? i tink tat will be betta
i feel for u, especially the part where u are afaid he might not see u anymore.
if he doesn't see u anymore, it means he wants to avoid the situation instead of facing it. im guilty, coz sometimes i tend to avoid instead of facing the problem
like wat i say, 4 years, its worth a shot. if he is not interested in u, then its ok. just be normal friends. i noe its not easy. but just give it a shot
poor gal![]()
Originally posted by 15963:as an individual...
Hello there.
Firstly, thanks for takeing time to reply. I appreciate that very much
Maybe it is because I had been rejected twice. Both guys telling me we just cannot work out because no feelings are grown between us.
Last time, I took up so much courage and confessing to a guy I like is something a crazy person would do, to me is like destroying your own very close frienship with the guy, then ending is nothing you imagined. It is all bad things.
I also wish I can tell him that I feel alot for him over the many years. Then if he rejects me, okay I wish good friends will still stay the same in us, and that nothing will change. I wish we will be still okay if going out for movies, going out for dinner. I wish he will still calles me to buy him food. But after confessing and have a rejection, I know it will not be easy to see or face him already.
He may say it is okay we stay as good friends. But who knows maye deep inside from him he sees me then awkward. What will happen if he decided to stop contacting me?
Yes sorry I go abit far. Back to rejection, Okay I am very afraid. Very very much. Some friends scold me saying I am useless for me not brave enough to say out how I feel of him. I reply them say Okay I am useless. But I rather I do not know the answer, than to know that he do not love me (Yes I know this setence maybe make many of you readers feel like I am hopeless and giving up on me) But Please understand, I really do not know what else to do.
Been through one fail time, easily give up. I am scared of history happen again. You also tell me rejection sucks. I already hint in some ways, maybe too mild. So he never get it. [color=red][b]Are guys really suck at getting hints?[/color] It is clear I do many things for him and none as much for other guys.
Tell me how.[/b]
its is a pity tat at 21, u only have him as a close friend. why didn't u have more males friends ? tis will open ur opportunities.Originally posted by 15963:Do not feel bad for avoiding instead of facing the problem. Because I am also like this. I know how you feel. It is something we do not wish for also, but just cannot help it, am I right to say this?
If he really avoids me after my confession, I cannot imagine how I will be. But I know where I will be, I will be at sgf. Haha. Anyway... 4 years, give it a shot?
Give it a shot is 2 things, Either it will kill my friendship with him (rejection), 4 years vanish just like that. Or hopefully blossom into something beautiful.
Call me an idiot. I do want things to happen, but I am always waiting. If He comes to me, I will definately open my arms as wide to welcome him. If I go to him, and I do not see any open arms... Sigh. I am just very afraid to try.
I read other threads, some of you said Try = Still have A little possibility.
No try = 0%.
What bright sides are there for me to look at now? I stopped crying already but I feeling unesay the whole day. I have no idea what monster I will become. Every day I wake up feeling crappish.
Last time I wake up normal, because he was still single and stupid me Thought that it will keep remain like this until the day I am brave enough to say out my feelings Or maybe even do not need me to, I hope he feels for me one day and he be the one confessing.
It is all my wishful thinking. All along.
Not only him is my close friend. I have alot of other close friends too. It is just that I feel closer to him, so many guy friends I have, I think he is the most sensible one compared to the rest. My guy friends are more than the females friends. But Sad to say I only feel just for him, More opportunities? Yes that is why I had another few boyfriends during this 4 years. I tried hard too but not working out.Originally posted by gunner77:its is a pity tat at 21, u only have him as a close friend. why didn't u have more males friends ? tis will open ur opportunities.
i tink u got it wrong with the avoiding thing, wat i meant is once he knew u love him, he avoid u. i noe its a sad case but some ppl are like tat.im guilty of tat too.
i have to agree with the other thread tat at least if u try = u still a chance
never try = no chance
ok, why not u ask ur other good friends to drop hint to the guy ? i mean tat is betta rite ? look at the bright side, he might like u. show more obvious hint to him.
let him have the idea. its now or never.
i noe u fear for the worst scenario, 4 years of friendship at stake. its really tough, even if he doesn't like u, at least by the account of the 4 years, he will still accept u as a close friend.
In a hypothetically perfect scenario, your confession would work out and this, in turn, leads to a blissful marriage.Originally posted by 15963:Hello there. Thank you for replying. Firstly I am 21 now.
We all go out as a group. Him and I have the same group of friends. So he could see what I do for the other guys is nothing and to him is everything.
I did not bothered to plan gatherings or birthday things for everyone but him. I did not get flowers for the rest but him. I did not buy food for the rest, but him.
I did not ever reject him of asking me out. I rejected some others before. He needes me, he calles me, I reach the place, always happens. Others call me, I make up stories to say I cannot make it. Or If I have nothing to do so then I meet up, if not I do not bother.
Others' perception affecting me, why so? I tell you.
Firstly Please understand he is not a very romantic kind of guy. He will dies if his guy friends are not around. Seems boring. He is crazy over games, during free time will always drive friends go to LAN shop and do Counterstrike the wholeday. He told me before he does not tolerate girls who are unreasonable and demanding, even if already is his girlfriend, he will ignore her. He feels that it is not right. From this I can say he is not those "giving in" kind of boyfriend.
But I am okay. I know I can have the patience to deal with him (Sadly I have no chance to). He is not romantic, Okay, I am romantic, I can do many things for him. He do not even have to lift a finger. I am willing to help him in all.
Going into others' perception after granny story up there.
I am not optimistic about the thing between him and I now. I never do think that we will be a couple even that has always always always been my wish/hope.
So Situation One if I do tell him I love him. He rejects me. Our group of friends, same group.. All will be very awkward to be together anymore. Because I am very surely that they will be informed of this "gossip". I do not know how to handle such kind of situations. So best is to not be in one. So I will not tell him how I feel.
Situation Two if we become a couple. Breaks off in a few years after. How do we still go out and have fun with the group of friends? Please remember, same group of friends. Hard? I do not only care about this group of friends, but I also know his sister. We go for manicures/pedicures and salons and we even travel together to Bangkok before. We are very close, his family knows me, but my family does not know him that well sad to say.
Even so close to his sister, 25 this year 2007. I do not tell her about my feelings of her brother. They have a younger brother of 14 but I seldom see him. I know his sister and him are very close, just like friends. They talk about everything, when no one to go shopping, he will accompany her. He will be like the boyfriend, help to carry bag and put arms around the sister. That is very close am I correct?
So I cannot tell the sister also. I met 3 close friends earlier on who known about my feelings of this guy. They say I am stupid to encourage him, I am stupid to suffer all these, I am stupid to even do so much for him.
Now I really do not know where to head. And by the way, he is same as me, 21 this year 2007.
i agree with u. i tink its sensible to just wait and carry on being a friend to himOriginally posted by 15963:Not only him is my close friend. I have alot of other close friends too. It is just that I feel closer to him, so many guy friends I have, I think he is the most sensible one compared to the rest. My guy friends are more than the females friends. But Sad to say I only feel just for him, More opportunities? Yes that is why I had another few boyfriends during this 4 years. I tried hard too but not working out.
One broke off saying cannot take me being so close exposed to my guy friends, especially this one that I like.
He is so happy partying now at MOS. Weird today that he never SMS me no not even one. Most likely I think... I will carry on just being a friend to him...
It is just so hard to make my feelings of him known.
Originally posted by 15963:Hello there. Thank you for replying. Firstly I am 21 now.
We all go out as a group. Him and I have the same group of friends. So he could see what I do for the other guys is nothing and to him is everything.
I did not bothered to plan gatherings or birthday things for everyone but him. I did not get flowers for the rest but him. I did not buy food for the rest, but him.
I did not ever reject him of asking me out. I rejected some others before. He needes me, he calles me, I reach the place, always happens. Others call me, I make up stories to say I cannot make it. Or If I have nothing to do so then I meet up, if not I do not bother.
Others' perception affecting me, why so? I tell you.
Firstly Please understand he is not a very romantic kind of guy. He will dies if his guy friends are not around. Seems boring. He is crazy over games, during free time will always drive friends go to LAN shop and do Counterstrike the wholeday. He told me before he does not tolerate girls who are unreasonable and demanding, even if already is his girlfriend, he will ignore her. He feels that it is not right. From this I can say he is not those "giving in" kind of boyfriend.
But I am okay. I know I can have the patience to deal with him (Sadly I have no chance to). He is not romantic, Okay, I am romantic, I can do many things for him. He do not even have to lift a finger. I am willing to help him in all.
Going into others' perception after granny story up there.
I am not optimistic about the thing between him and I now. I never do think that we will be a couple even that has always always always been my wish/hope.
So Situation One if I do tell him I love him. He rejects me. Our group of friends, same group.. All will be very awkward to be together anymore. Because I am very surely that they will be informed of this "gossip". I do not know how to handle such kind of situations. So best is to not be in one. So I will not tell him how I feel.
Situation Two if we become a couple. Breaks off in a few years after. How do we still go out and have fun with the group of friends? Please remember, same group of friends. Hard? I do not only care about this group of friends, but I also know his sister. We go for manicures/pedicures and salons and we even travel together to Bangkok before. We are very close, his family knows me, but my family does not know him that well sad to say.
Even so close to his sister, 25 this year 2007. I do not tell her about my feelings of her brother. They have a younger brother of 14 but I seldom see him. I know his sister and him are very close, just like friends. They talk about everything, when no one to go shopping, he will accompany her. He will be like the boyfriend, help to carry bag and put arms around the sister. That is very close am I correct?
So I cannot tell the sister also. I met 3 close friends earlier on who known about my feelings of this guy. They say I am stupid to encourage him, I am stupid to suffer all these, I am stupid to even do so much for him.
Now I really do not know where to head. And by the way, he is same as me, 21 this year 2007.
Originally posted by 15963:...True I had a few boyfriends through the 4years. Maybe its why he thinks he have no chance. But if I do not like him, would I bother to go buy him food when he is alone? He knows how busy I am.
This is so true.Originally posted by Yunhaier:I am going to explain the concept of femme passiveness: most women don't end up with the man they want, because they would rather wait, like most femme psyche, for the man they want to express or initiative their love to. And if this chap doesn't do a thing, the chance is gone - usually forever.
Ironically, these women later end up with man whom initiative/chase them, but it isn't the man that they want. They somehow just accepted them - for some reason or another.
Poor girl~ I think u should not think of him for a moment.Originally posted by 15963:He called me earlier on
But I was bathing and so I did not see so obviously I cannot answer his call.
I called back and he just said Nothing much already bye. This is not the first time that it happens. He is always like this. When He calles and I do not answer then I call back he will always say nothing. I wish to know what is it that he is looking me for but am afraid if I probe further he will think that I am very irritating.
Is this a sign that he could be taking me for granted?
Suddenly these days after all that happened (him meeting the girl) I suddenly do feel very tired and unappreciated.
In short I feel like giving up... yes, without even trying.