What should I do to stand up for myself?
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Tis type of guys r useless,he has no education n yet he dare to claim tat he wants to marry u,i can assure if u marry to tis of guy,he will beat u n ask u to work as .... to provide him breakfast,lunch n dinner.
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Originally posted by Yuki~!:
Initially,i thought it is a standard antagonist and protangonist until i see that statement.
I feel very lost as I really have a lot of feelings for this guy. But he really bullies me. In short, he is a delinquent & I know I have become one, too, under his influence. But I want to change because it's a new year & I want to go to Poly to start things fresh.
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So since you both are the same,what are u complaining? -
lol I'll ask myself the same thing sometimesOriginally posted by gigabyte14:i have no freaking idea why you still want to be with him
what are you <18 twits thinking
I don't know. Really mixed emotions.
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A post ago, I said:Originally posted by Boka v2.0:Initially,i thought it is a standard antagonist and protangonist until i see that statement.
So since you both are the same,what are u complaining?
Truth is.. Yes, I know that my relationship is bad for me & I know I should end it. But it's a matter of whether I want to. However, I'm not here to complain to you guys about my unhealthy relationship. Instead, I asked (in the title) "What should I do to stand up for myself?" -
ok then this is wad i suggest u to do.Originally posted by Yuki~!:& No, I'm not really that concern about him revealing my secrets, but more of threatening to hurt me if I break up with him
i wanna stand up for your self ? u need courage to do that.
i offer u this " strike when the enemy doesn't expect"
so when he threatens u with razor, u can either stand up walk to him and point to him where is your neck. and say " lai lor here is my neck " if he doesn't slash u or anything, tell him don't wayang. see liao damm sian.
OR
get another razor, u think i dunno how to threaten also ar ?
i feel that your b/f is like a NATO, no action talk only. he shouts, u scream sure work one, espically effective if u never scream at him b4.
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Three pages of thread, one unified answer, all telling you do do one thing, still looking for a different answer??Originally posted by Yuki~!:A post ago, I said:
Truth is.. Yes, I know that my relationship is bad for me & I know I should end it. But it's a matter of whether I want to. However, I'm not here to complain to you guys about my unhealthy relationship. Instead, I asked (in the title) "What should I do to stand up for myself?" -
HAHA! Thanks for the tip!Originally posted by Prophecy_Master:ok then this is wad i suggest u to do.
i wanna stand up for your self ? u need courage to do that.
i offer u this " strike when the enemy doesn't expect"
so when he threatens u with razor, u can either stand up walk to him and point to him where is your neck. and say " lai lor here is my neck " if he doesn't slash u or anything, tell him don't wayang. see liao damm sian.
OR
get another razor, u think i dunno how to threaten also ar ?
i feel that your b/f is like a NATO, no action talk only. he shouts, u scream sure work one, espically effective if u never scream at him b4.
I'll take that in mind.
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go try it out and reply here how it went.Originally posted by Yuki~!:HAHA! Thanks for the tip!
I'll take that in mind. 
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U can list down the ways he is not good to U...and yet U are not dumping him...Originally posted by Yuki~!:Dear AA,
I'm 16 this year and I've been attached to my bf for almost a year now
I think that he's no good for me but I just can't say no to him.
Nothing else we say will help U unless U have the conviction to help urself.
I love U,I love U,I love U.
He told me many times that he really loves me a lot. But why do I feel otherwise? Please help
do I love U?
I dont. -
I understand what you're getting at.Originally posted by Xcert:I love U,I love U,I love U.
do I love U?
I dont.
Sigh, I'm really don't know how to let go of this guy.
Could it be that I've "gotten used" to him?
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please treat urself with some respect and ditch the fella.
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ask yourself, do u think your parents want u to be with such a guy although they dont comment on it ? If u dont respect yourself, dont make others worry.
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Love in this case is cheap.
I'm sure your father is just waiting for you to take the right step. -
perhaps...but "gotten used to" is not an reason to stick with him.Originally posted by Yuki~!:I understand what you're getting at.
Sigh, I'm really don't know how to let go of this guy.
Could it be that I've "gotten used" to him? -
Hmm if you are the submssive and docile kind, i seriously think you should ditch this nasty boyfriend. It does you no good than sticking with him. I think you well-aware of this already. Ask yourself why the hell are you still sticking to him?
You live well before he came into your life. Even without him, you can still live your life well. Better still, you can find a better guy who can treat you better.
This is not love leh. It is possibility an underlying fear/dependent on this guy ya.
If you want to stand up for yourself, do yourself a favour and let him go.. letting go of this dependent/fear. I don't think he is a good husband material. You want an abusive husband isit ? So don't waste your time and future on him lah.
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many other better guys out there for you.
be daring enough to take the step forward.
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I just want to change him. I want things to get better.
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im not saying its impossible for you to change him. Your not getting any younger either, decide for yourself if its the right thing to do, to change him or to ditch him, once you decided, dont ever look back and regret.Originally posted by Yuki~!:I just want to change him. I want things to get better. -
No 1 still can, No 4 not your prob, But No 2, 3 & 5 are no-no man. Time to leave him.Originally posted by Yuki~!:Dear AA,
I'm 16 going on 17 this year and I've been attached to my bf for almost a year now
I think that he's no good for me but I just can't say no to him.
[b]1. He distracts me from my studies
2. He constantly spends my money
3. He ABUSES me
4. He's ruining his own future
5. He's violent & bad-tempered -
You can't change anyone. Only there one can change himself.Originally posted by Yuki~!:I just want to change him. I want things to get better.
The choice is still yours but i could recommend you don't compromise your future on him. What if one day, he left you for someone. Then what happen to your educational future? -
What's the point of trying to change something that does not WANT to be changed?
It's like you're trying to push a wall. Does the wall want to move?
If the wall will move 1 cm for you, then maybe he will change.
(I mean a proper wall like the walls at a void deck)
Since it's obvious he doesn't want to change and doesn't care that you want him to change, it's a waste of your time to care about changing him.
If you really want to change him, leave him. If he loves you, he will change for you and come back for you.
At this point it's also obvious that he doesn't love you.
If you love someone, that person would be more important than yourself (like how you care about his future, his grades, his happiness etc.)
Does he care about what happens to you? Not really. He just wants to have you for his own happiness.
Oh and please do the break up in a public place with PEOPLE nearby. Not at his home, not at your home, not at a void deck.
I don't want you to get hurt - in the situation where he MAY decide to actually use the sharp object. If there are people around, he should not dare and even if he did, at least people will see.
Even without a sharp object, if he realises you are REALLY leaving him this time, he just might go crazy - oh and when he does, pls b strong n dont listen to whatever he says. do it, and go. -
Leaving him will also test his love for you.
If he truly loves you, he will change n come back for you.
If he doesn't he will NOT CHANGE and just keep begging/threatening/forcing u to go back with him or he will just heck care. -
Originally posted by Yuki~!:
he's still young.. if u don feel right jus break up..
Dear AA,
I'm 16 going on 17 this year and I've been attached to my bf for almost a year now
I think that he's no good for me but I just can't say no to him.
[b]1. He distracts me from my studies
He doesn't really encourage me to study. Even when my very important O levels were nearing, we often quarrel because I wanted to study and he wouldn't let me because he didn't want to end our phone conversation. For that, my studies has gone down the drain. I just wish he could be a little more supportive. I hate to quarrel with him.
2. He constantly spends my money
He's always broke & always asking me to pay for things, saying that "Money is meant to be spent". He would plead with me to lend him money & I ALWAYS give it to him. & He almost never returns the money I lend him. I spent more than a $1000 on him last year.
3. He ABUSES me
He verbally abuses me. When we fight, he would scold me vulgarities (eg: calling me a f***ing b****) and humiliate me, if he got the chance. When I told him I want to break up with him, he would threaten me, saying that "he would make my life hell". He also threatened to tell my dirty secrets to the world.
4. He's ruining his own future
He's retained in Secondary 3 for the 2nd time this year. I, as a girlfriend, feel a little ashamed when my friends asks me why my boyfriend is 17 and still in school. He constantly skips school (& tells me to do so too, sometimes). I try to tuition him and wake him up every morning to make sure he goes to school but my efforts usually goes to waste when I get his report book. I mean, if he wants to marry me in the future (that's what he claims), how on earth can he support me?
5. He's violent & bad-tempered
I'm afraid to make him really, very angry. I mean, he gets angry over the most ridiculous things. There was this one time, during a fight, he pushed me & I fell backwards. I cried my eyes out but he didn't give a damn. Several times he used sharp objects to scare me so that I give in to our little argument, eg: Beer bottle & razor
I feel very lost as I really have a lot of feelings for this guy. But he really bullies me. In short, he is a delinquent & I know I have become one, too, under his influence. But I want to change because it's a new year & I want to go to Poly to start things fresh.
How can I say no to this guy who's still is Sec 3 this year & isn't at the same level of thinking as me? Is there any way I can turn him around? See the way I see things? I feel that if I break up with him, I'll regret because I love him a lot. He told me many times that he really loves me a lot. But why do I feel otherwise? Please help [/b]
and be with me then -
A person who love you will never want to hurt you. A person who love you, will respect you and could want you to have the best of everythings.
Why is he so hot - temper all the time? There gotta to be some hidden issues. You can't really help him on this cos you don't have the expertise.
Why is he spending your money ? Why can't he work for his money ?
He might change if he love you but i don't think he knows how to love himself yet. -
If you feel that your partner's no longer fixated on you, its time for you to trash things out, and find someone else who is able to appreciate your undiscovered beauty. A relationship's supposed to be filled with lusciousness and utmost endearments. Love isn't all about relinquishments and sacrifices, instead, it should be an art of compromising and accepting each other. No point trying to hold back, or to keep something which you have a strong affection for. One sided relationships are frigid and only arouse more dejections.