Is fighting an act of passion or an unacceptable act?
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Acts of physical violence is reserved for another fellow man.
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Double post.
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Dear Jojo,Originally posted by jojobeach:You are getting it all wrong my friend.
You care that is why you DON'T flare.
You get pissed off because you are being treated unjustly.
A mom who slaps a daughter face does it out of ANGER.
A mom who loves the daughter does not use physical punishment.
Yes, once the fighting start, it will not stop.
Unless the underlying problem has been resolved, the resentment will only lead to more violence.
On one hand, your arguement stands.
On the other hand, how long can one submit to another's wish.
I mean lets look at it from the aspect, no matter what genders we are.
We are born by our parents, we have feelings.
I agree guys should give in more.
But how long can a relationship last with one side giving?
I had met guys who tell me that he has no conflict with his gf for years.
Only by giving them what they have, I salute and respect them on one hand.
But on the other, they have no life. Just slave of love. What are they left with after the girl leave them? Nothing.
In short, in the micro aspect i agree what u have mentioned.
But in the macro aspect, we have to communicated thru.
I had met some relationship which broke up over only 1 arguement, hence to me, it is a blessing to be able to argue or sort things out in any way.
Like that time when i pushed her, i went over ur house and let her wack me the very day.
But somtimes things may not be painted beautifully, we may love the other party and we endure.
When arguement arise, we will just vomit out.
Even duo, it may not be a beautiful form of sorting things out.
But ain't it care? i believe that we can do wat we want. the final answer lies in our motive. -
There is a limit for everything.Originally posted by gUms:You got no Right to use force on a girl!!!! get that in ur farking head .... let me see u doing that to a girl and i will use force on you.
She is someone else child , and u are not even married to her.
Next time if ur sister or daugther`s bf uses force on them , how will u feel.!!!!
A man should not touch a girl , so get that in ur farking head.... No excuse!!! -
Just from a small arguement, it flares bigger and bigger.Originally posted by jojobeach:Why would she need to destroy your property ?
What is the basis of her action ?
Demanding to do certain things her way.
From verbal to actions. and imaging she is like a homing missile.
U want to cool down and end the arguement.
She will persist with her irrational actions. By tearing up ur assets.
Does she has the rights to destory your properties, even she is angry? -
Anyone has some real life experience and would like to share their views?
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Yeah , thrown stuffs.. broke laptop , stereo , damaged car. Maybe because i was so passive n let her that she got more pissed off ?Originally posted by abterror:Anyone has some real life experience and would like to share their views?
But u try to reason n talk properly. And if she refuse to ,obviously she is not giving in or compromising . So.. she is oen of them girls with a capital P for Problems stamped in their forehead. One can only suffer so much assets damage when u gotta think.. that its like liability. Just because she may be a hot @ss but if its a stress to ur assets , makes u all.. crazy. U know what to do. Drop her. If she can do all those , imagine.. gala dinner. then suddenly BWAM! She loses the plot. Think of the face u gonna lose. But maybe u did something real bad she going loco on you. If i cheated on her she smash my car up. What can i say. heh
Its up to you. But i dont think violence or being hard handed is the way unless ur life is directly being threatened. She is still a girl. Physically she is weaker already.Unless she is on equal grounds. Everythnig half half and demanded she be treated equal. As an equal.. in a man to man point of view , do as u wish.
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Lets assume you love her a lot.Originally posted by jondizzle foshizzle:Easy, I'd just break up with the bitch. No force necessary, just a simple "Bitch you're the worst girlfriend anyone could ever have, you're fat and you've put on weight recently and you're ugly and no other guy could possibly ever want you. So that's why I'm breaking up with you."
A 3 year issue, which is not a short amount of time. -
The easy way is giving up.Originally posted by BadzMaro:Yeah , thrown stuffs.. broke laptop , stereo , damaged car. Maybe because i was so passive n let her that she got more pissed off ? But u try to reason n talk properly. And if she refuse to ,obviously she is not giving in or compromising . So.. she is oen of them girls with a capital P for Problems stamped in their forehead. One can only suffer so much assets damage when u gotta think.. that its like liability. Just because she may be a hot @ss but if its a stress to ur assets , makes u all.. crazy. U know what to do. Drop her. If she can do all those , imagine.. gala dinner. then suddenly BWAM! She loses the plot. Think of the face u gonna lose. But maybe u did something real bad she going loco on you. If i cheated on her she smash my car up. What can i say. heh
Its up to you. But i dont think violence or being hard handed is the way unless ur life is directly being threatened. She is still a girl. Physically she is weaker already.Unless she is on equal grounds. Everythnig half half and demanded she be treated equal. As an equal.. in a man to man point of view , do as u wish.
Lets assume if you love her a lot and tried to hold on to your differences. How?
Hot tempered and finger pointing is a killer.
How can one coexist with such a partner? -
So how long is ur relationship and how is it now?Originally posted by BadzMaro:Yeah , thrown stuffs.. broke laptop , stereo , damaged car. Maybe because i was so passive n let her that she got more pissed off ? But u try to reason n talk properly. And if she refuse to ,obviously she is not giving in or compromising . So.. she is oen of them girls with a capital P for Problems stamped in their forehead. One can only suffer so much assets damage when u gotta think.. that its like liability. Just because she may be a hot @ss but if its a stress to ur assets , makes u all.. crazy. U know what to do. Drop her. If she can do all those , imagine.. gala dinner. then suddenly BWAM! She loses the plot. Think of the face u gonna lose. But maybe u did something real bad she going loco on you. If i cheated on her she smash my car up. What can i say. heh
Its up to you. But i dont think violence or being hard handed is the way unless ur life is directly being threatened. She is still a girl. Physically she is weaker already.Unless she is on equal grounds. Everythnig half half and demanded she be treated equal. As an equal.. in a man to man point of view , do as u wish.
She changed for the better or u boot her for good?
How do you feel about all these now?
How will u respond in the future? still the same? let them do watever they want? -
Communication does not require physical contact.Originally posted by abterror:Dear Jojo,
On one hand, your arguement stands.
On the other hand, how long can one submit to another's wish.
I mean lets look at it from the aspect, no matter what genders we are.
We are born by our parents, we have feelings.
I agree guys should give in more.
But how long can a relationship last with one side giving?
I had met guys who tell me that he has no conflict with his gf for years.
Only by giving them what they have, I salute and respect them on one hand.
But on the other, they have no life. Just slave of love. What are they left with after the girl leave them? Nothing.
In short, in the micro aspect i agree what u have mentioned.
But in the macro aspect, we have to communicated thru.
I had met some relationship which broke up over only 1 arguement, hence to me, it is a blessing to be able to argue or sort things out in any way.
Like that time when i pushed her, i went over ur house and let her wack me the very day.
But somtimes things may not be painted beautifully, we may love the other party and we endure.
When arguement arise, we will just vomit out.
Even duo, it may not be a beautiful form of sorting things out.
But ain't it care? i believe that we can do wat we want. the final answer lies in our motive.
What is wrong with being a slave of love , when one is happy being one.
If you are not happy with your love, what is the purpose of being in love ?
Love is fleeting, but that is all there is, no yesterday, no tomorrow, just the then and now.
You pushed her, she whack you. What is the use ? Emotions, pride and feelings are hurt, both ways.
3 years is nothing if each is not happy.
You need to learn how to communicate better.
When a woman is angry with you, don't try to reason with her.
Let her cool down first.
You may think she always want her ways, she thinks you always want your ways.
When two party is yelling , who is listening ?
Ask yourself, what is more important ?
The need to be right or your relationship with this woman?
Everything in life is but a choice. -
It is very subjective, every parent love their child.Originally posted by blu_sky:By using violence, it is not care anymore. It is subdue to anger. It is not love.
And a mother should NEVER slap her child. Slapping is very demeaning.
But why do they slapping them? -
relationship was not long.. no longer together. I gave in , try to reason and explain. Of course i gave it another few months just to give her a chance and hopefully able to see things through , however it proved that she is highly unstable. The last straw was when she threw a fit at an important dinner. Which of course i felt a real loss of face. And that was it.Originally posted by abterror:So how long is ur relationship and how is it now?
She changed for the better or u boot her for good?
How do you feel about all these now?
How will u respond in the future? still the same? let them do watever they want?
Cant let them do whatever they want, there is always a limit like u say , but i dun think in hitting her or being heavy-handed. I was very patient. She has her problems i try to understand them but if she refuses to understand me or at least be more reasonable then its hard to co-exist. All i can say she was very unreasonable , and only after no longer together that she regret , but its too late. Hopefully its a lesson she can learn and hopefully her future relationships will be better lo. If she meets u then i am sure u would've beat her down good . -
The easy was it giving up without trying.Originally posted by abterror:The easy way is giving up.
Lets assume if you love her a lot and tried to hold on to your differences. How?
Hot tempered and finger pointing is a killer.
How can one coexist with such a partner?
Assume i love her alot , she has to understand , u are not her b|tch man. And if i was being an @sshole all the time to her then she can go all loco. To try to co-exist with such a partner is like a slow torturous , painful death. I dunno , maby after 20 yrs she will calm down.. but thats a big if u gotta live with.. for 20yrs. -
slap = loveOriginally posted by abterror:It is very subjective, every parent love their child.
But why do they slapping them?
some child never know the word 'fear' and 'wrong' if they never got slap or beaten
of course not to the extend if its too much. this has to be limited. slapping to the bodies or 'pigu' is ok. To face , not adviseable.
for boy/gal r/s, some physical action will occur if the situation is too bad. what i mean is that one party just cant accept what the other party had done.
Its our normal human reaction when we cant just contain our anger. This is very normal actually. Theres nothing like man cannot slap gal, but why gal can ?
gals always talk bout equality.
Man can smoke, so do gals,
Man can drink , yea so do gals
But why man cannot slap, and gals can ? J
ust doenst make sense. No such thing as gentleman when it comes to this. Man just need to control the strength of their slap and its ok to slap.. too much power in the palm will cause serious cuz man are stronger. But still no such thing as man cannot slap -
There are only afew reasons why some parents slap their children. Some are abusive, while others just lost it.Originally posted by abterror:It is very subjective, every parent love their child.
But why do they slapping them?
Regardless, it is a WRONG thing to do. -
Just because a parent love their child does not mean they will not be angry at them.Originally posted by abterror:It is very subjective, every parent love their child.
But why do they slapping them? -
Slap is not equal to love.Originally posted by Zarks:slap = love
some child never know the word 'fear' and 'wrong' if they never got slap or beaten
of course not to the extend if its too much. this has to be limited. slapping to the bodies or 'pigu' is ok. To face , not adviseable.
for boy/gal r/s, some physical action will occur if the situation is too bad. what i mean is that one party just cant accept what the other party had done.
Its our normal human reaction when we cant just contain our anger. This is very normal actually. Theres nothing like man cannot slap gal, but why gal can ?
gals always talk bout equality.
Man can smoke, so do gals,
Man can drink , yea so do gals
But why man cannot slap, and gals can ? J
ust doenst make sense. No such thing as gentleman when it comes to this. Man just need to control the strength of their slap and its ok to slap.. too much power in the palm will cause serious cuz man are stronger. But still no such thing as man cannot slap
Slap is equal to anger.
Yes, guys can also slap a girl.
But should you ?
If you have a daughter, and her boyfriend slap her, is that ok ?
Think. -
Originally posted by Zarks:
No one has said that gals can slap men. No, girls cant slap men and men should never lay his hands on girls.
slap = love
some child never know the word 'fear' and 'wrong' if they never got slap or beaten
of course not to the extend if its too much. this has to be limited. slapping to the bodies or 'pigu' is ok. To face , not adviseable.
for boy/gal r/s, some physical action will occur if the situation is too bad. what i mean is that one party just cant accept what the other party had done.
Its our normal human reaction when we cant just contain our anger. This is very normal actually. Theres nothing like man cannot slap gal, but why gal can ?
gals always talk bout equality.
Man can smoke, so do gals,
Man can drink , yea so do gals
[b]But why man cannot slap, and gals can ? J
ust doenst make sense. No such thing as gentleman when it comes to this. Man just need to control the strength of their slap and its ok to slap.. too much power in the palm will cause serious cuz man are stronger. But still no such thing as man cannot slap[/b]
If a man lay his hands on a girl, i will ask the girl to leave him. And vice versa. That is equality. no? -
Originally posted by jojobeach:Communication does not require physical contact.
What is wrong with being a slave of love , when one is happy being one.
>> It takes 2 to clap. Some are givers and some are partners whom prefer to work out hand in hand.
If you are not happy with your love, what is the purpose of being in love ?
Love is fleeting, but that is all there is, no yesterday, no tomorrow, just the then and now.
You pushed her, she whack you. What is the use ? Emotions, pride and feelings are hurt, both ways.
>> Her ex husband also end up hitting her. Hence she flare up easily in faces of physical contact, and will result in a auto activation of defence machanism.
But when a guy react to auto defence machanism = agressive person.
3 years is nothing if each is not happy.
You need to learn how to communicate better.
>> too many things left unsettle, hence it become a bomb.
When a woman is angry with you, don't try to reason with her.
Let her cool down first.
>> i let her cool down and when i find her, she was with another man whom she said she will not have interest in. *ensured me when i was with her*
You may think she always want her ways, she thinks you always want your ways.
>> agree. i see for verbal communication but she seek tat it is the end.
When two party is yelling , who is listening ?
>> she yells, not me. when i wanna talk things out.
i have heard of the saying ' when 2 person are together, they will know one another's weakness and tend to attack them when conflict arise."
i guess everyone does tat.
Ask yourself, what is more important ?
The need to be right or your relationship with this woman?
>> Both. Law is needed for a balance in the society. It is needed in order to keep things in place. Give and take.
Everything in life is but a choice. -
Dint' beat her. There is once i just push her. She fell and she cried like a baby.Originally posted by BadzMaro:relationship was not long.. no longer together. I gave in , try to reason and explain. Of course i gave it another few months just to give her a chance and hopefully able to see things through , however it proved that she is highly unstable. The last straw was when she threw a fit at an important dinner. Which of course i felt a real loss of face. And that was it.
Cant let them do whatever they want, there is always a limit like u say , but i dun think in hitting her or being heavy-handed. I was very patient. She has her problems i try to understand them but if she refuses to understand me or at least be more reasonable then its hard to co-exist. All i can say she was very unreasonable , and only after no longer together that she regret , but its too late. Hopefully its a lesson she can learn and hopefully her future relationships will be better lo. If she meets u then i am sure u would've beat her down good .
There is another time when i tried to hold her, she tried to stomp my feet with her heel. maybe she was trying to warn me, but subconsciencely, my defence mechaniam just went off, and i pin her down with the hand lock. and ask " what are u trying to do?" Well, she yell and said "pain, pain"
I let go and was in a lost, thinking wat had i done.
I massage her shoulders and she weep as usual.
To me, i hold no grudges, but to her, it was over.
Perhaps we were meant to be.
Tons of things to learn from this experience. -
slap is love when it comes to parental. i did read somewhere that they claimed its more efficient if you have some nice slap (not on face) or just simply hit the child lightly (pain but not too much pain inflicted to them) and they will be most probablly obedient and bear in mind of waht is wrong in future. Nowadays child are just so stubborn and its hard to let them bear in mind of wat we warn them. Dun blame me, i just read the facts. Facts tell everything, not sure if nowadays the method of teaching the child to behave has become more verbalOriginally posted by jojobeach:Slap is not equal to love.
Slap is equal to anger.
Yes, guys can also slap a girl.
But should you ?
If you have a daughter, and her boyfriend slap her, is that ok ?
Think.
if i have a daughter, and her bf slap her for something she did terrible, that is ok for me, dont u wish your daughter to get some1 who knows that your daughter is doing very bad things and he take initiative to make her realised what she did was wrong?
if for lame excuse and her bf slap her for stupid reason, i myself will kill him lol.
Like i said everything has the limit, just need to see how much. -
Slap = stop it.Originally posted by jojobeach:Slap is not equal to love.
Slap is equal to anger.
Yes, guys can also slap a girl.
But should you ?
If you have a daughter, and her boyfriend slap her, is that ok ?
Think.
Slap = enough.
Slap = wake up. -
What is wrong with being a slave of love , when one is happy being one.
>> It takes 2 to clap. Some are givers and some are partners whom prefer to work out hand in hand.
jojo>>> then u need to find someone who fits your requirement.
You pushed her, she whack you. What is the use ? Emotions, pride and feelings are hurt, both ways.
>> Her ex husband also end up hitting her. Hence she flare up easily in faces of physical contact, and will result in a auto activation of defence machanism.
But when a guy react to auto defence machanism = agressive person.
jojo>>> according to you, she attacks your property, but you attacked her.
You need to learn how to communicate better.
>> too many things left unsettle, hence it become a bomb.
jojo>>> Then settle the problems.
When a woman is angry with you, don't try to reason with her.
Let her cool down first.
>> i let her cool down and when i find her, she was with another man whom she said she will not have interest in. *ensured me when i was with her*
jojo>>> Is she worthy of your trust ?
You may think she always want her ways, she thinks you always want your ways.
>> agree. i see for verbal communication but she seek tat it is the end.
jojo>>> is that the reason why you justified using physical punishment on her ?
When two party is yelling , who is listening ?
>> she yells, not me. when i wanna talk things out.
jojo>>> If she yells at you, just keep quiet and walk away. Talk things out another day. Tell her, you will only listen if she is not yelling. Learn how to program your woman.
i have heard of the saying ' when 2 person are together, they will know one another's weakness and tend to attack them when conflict arise."
i guess everyone does tat.
jojo>>> Yes, we know the weaknesses and we know their strength. That works both ways, if you understand her, what makes her click, you'd know how to handle her, properly.
Ask yourself, what is more important ?
The need to be right or your relationship with this woman?
>> Both. Law is needed for a balance in the society. It is needed in order to keep things in place. Give and take.
Jojo>>> unfortunately for you, it cannot be done. You have to choose one. Or you leave her and find another one. -
ya. i hoped that she will ton down her temper in a couple of years.Originally posted by BadzMaro:The easy was it giving up without trying.
Assume i love her alot , she has to understand , u are not her b|tch man. And if i was being an @sshole all the time to her then she can go all loco. To try to co-exist with such a partner is like a slow torturous , painful death. I dunno , maby after 20 yrs she will calm down.. but thats a big if u gotta live with.. for 20yrs.
But it never come to my mind of 20 years. lol
Perhaps to end was really a blessing in disguise.