I wish my Dad were dead...
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He may be my dear old Dad, but he's the very reason why I continue to suffer every single day of my life. It's because of him and him only that I should have to live as someone I'm not, and further surpress my emotions just so I can get through every damn day.
Background Information: If you don't already know, I'm transsexual. Sadly, I still live my daily life as a guy despite undergoing hormone replacement therapy for over 2½ years. Initially I had planned to cross the gender line 3 months ago, and start living my life as a girl after finally graduating from Secondary School, but obviously I haven't yet because my (stupid) Dad stopped me.
"Blah blah blah....as the master of this house I order you to cut your hair short, if not you don't ever step back into thise house again."
I complied, only because I'm f*cked for life without a proper education. Still it was very emotionally painful to do this for him, because having a guyish haircut is the only reason that people still take me for a guy. Just a few days prior to cutting my hair, all my new classmates from my JC were telling me how they honestly thought that I'm a girl.
*sigh*
To summarise it, my Dad isn't at all supportive of what I'm doing. He's doing anything he can to stop me, but he doesn't realize that what he's doing only ends up hurting me, and screwing up my life even more. I've tried everything to convince him that my condition is genuine, but it all falls on deaf years. He refuses to believe any of it... (denial) Every morning when I wake up, I feel nothing but pain because my father can't accept the truth, and I'm forced to continue living in a body I hate. He's afraid of losing a son, but if he keeps this up, he may just lose an entire child.If only he weren't around, I'd be free to finally live my life...
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Are u sure that u really wish ur dad werent around ?
Mabbe he had ur best interests in mind...
You are still young. He could be really protective of you and doing his darnest to make sure that you wont be making a wrong choice.
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Originally posted by Ferret:
Are u sure that u really wish ur dad werent around ?
Mabbe he had ur best interests in mind...
You are still young. He could be really protective of you and doing his darnest to make sure that you wont be making a wrong choice.
yeah have you ever wonder ur dad is scared? he do not know why you are acting like a girl. he cannot accept these things. even though society is very liberal now but there are some things ppl just cannot accept though. -
"Dad isn't at all supportive of what I'm doing. He's doing anything he can to stop me, but he doesn't realize that what he's doing only ends up hurting me, and screwing up my life even more"
Maybe he isn't @ all supporttive of what u are doing. Just tat parents got their own thinking which they think is good for u and the family. Try thinking on ur dad part. If u was him, wad will u do? Will u allow ur son to do that?
Pls give a serious thinking abt tat and not because u had wanted it so u jus say u will allow it.
Take care
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Originally posted by rlsh07:
yeah have you ever wonder ur dad is scared? he do not know why you are acting like a girl. he cannot accept these things. even though society is very liberal now but there are some things ppl just cannot accept though.arlow... mabbe u shldnt quote me leh...
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Originally posted by Ferret:
arlow... mabbe u shldnt quote me leh...
well.. i'm sorry are you offended in any way?
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Originally posted by rlsh07:
well.. i'm sorry are you offended in any way?
keke nope...
if i am offended i will let u know..
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WHAT THE!
after he died, you would wish he's alive..
which parents don't care about their child?
which parents don't have the best interest of their child..
they tried to give the child the best..
but it's impossible..
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Originally posted by Ferret:
keke nope...
if i am offended i will let u know..
anyway i quote you because i agree with you
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Originally posted by MidnightK:
WHAT THE!
after he died, you would wish he's alive..
which parents don't care about their child?
which parents don't have the best interest of their child..
they tried to give the child the best..
but it's impossible..
you will never understand fully until you become a parent urself.
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somebody who's very close to me is a lesbian. she never dared to reveal to her mom because everytime a topic about homosexuality/homosexuals was brought up, her mom would say something like 'if you ever be like one of them, i'll disown you! blah blah blah' (but by saying this even though the daughter never mentioned anything about her own sexuality, we already knew that the mother was aware of what's going on).
so anyways, she told me that one day something went on and she finally went up to her mom and told the mom that she was a lesbian. of course the mother was very hurt/upset/angry/etc and told her to change her ways etc etc. but at the end of the day, she wasnt disowned...and the mother is slowly accepting it. (though she is still trying to get the daughter to 'change' but we believe this is only because the mother doesnt want her friends to know etc etc)
i dunno about your dad. but if i were you, i'd not listen to him and see if he REALLY will throw you out. will he have the heart to?? at the end of the day, you are his child.....as for education....you can always go back to it later...or something.... -
Originally posted by rlsh07:
you will never understand fully until you become a parent urself.
i understand..
but i am not a parent.... yet...
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Originally posted by ukillgy:
"Dad isn't at all supportive of what I'm doing. He's doing anything he can to stop me, but he doesn't realize that what he's doing only ends up hurting me, and screwing up my life even more"
Maybe he isn't @ all supporttive of what u are doing. Just tat parents got their own thinking which they think is good for u and the family. Try thinking on ur dad part. If u was him, wad will u do? Will u allow ur son to do that?
Pls give a serious thinking abt tat and not because u had wanted it so u jus say u will allow it.
Take care
Things like this isnt what TS want, it's bo bian, you know? born as a girl but in a guy's body -
Originally posted by rlsh07:
anyway i quote you because i agree with you
okies...
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there there jenn.. you know many will never be able to understand..
hang in there.. hope that one day he will understand...
but until then, even though i've not met you, through your posts, i can feel your pain...
maybe a little while longer... when you've gained your independence and you can go your own way?
hang in there yah?
i really wish i will be able to see a world where everyone is accepted for who they are..
i wish you well... and that one day you can be who you are inside..
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Originally posted by MidnightK:
i understand..
but i am not a parent.... yet...
hmm.. can u say u understand fully though? hmm.... -
maybe not fully,,
but i have seen how my aunty and uncle beg the principal for a chance for his kid..
i seen how they save up money just for him to study..
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Originally posted by MidnightK:
maybe not fully,,
but i have seen how my aunty and uncle beg the principal for a chance for his kid..
i seen how they save up money just for him to study..
yeah so ultimately parents just want to have best interests for their kids though. maybe ur dad do not know how to express out though. actually i also dun knoe how to advise you or anything because i cannot understand what you are going through though. but i do believe these experiences happens for a reason though, to build up ur character perhaps, to prepare you for a more cruel world outside perhaps. hmm.. hang in there.
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were???
how many dad u have?
and if oredi past tense, then how come have to die again? -
Originally posted by MidnightK:
maybe not fully,,
but i have seen how my aunty and uncle beg the principal for a chance for his kid..
i seen how they save up money just for him to study..
yeah.. sometimes all the parent has to do for a child is to let the child go so that the child can grow to become all that the child can be...
the child is not there for the parents to live vicariously through..
even if the child makes mistakes after reaching a certain, it will be part of the child's life..
the greatest gift the parent can give their children is their blessing and their freedom.. while standing by and being there in case their children require comfort and a shoulder to cry on..
letting go.. is the hardest but most vital part of being a good parent.. and if the parent doesn't do so, their children will be crippled emotionally forever..
love is sometimes doing the hard things... and one of the hardest things may be accepting that your child is not the same as you...
does that mean the parent withdraws their love? if so, does the parent really love? for it is unconditional..
back to Jenn.. hey.. hopefully one day your folks will understand... and if it's any consolation, some of us hope you find happiness..
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yeah..agree with what bear said!
holding on too tight, the string might break..
too loose, might fly away..
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well, i guess it's fair. you're probably dead to him anyway.
ok, that was harsh and totally unneccessary. but you're 16, are you even sure you know what you want?
don't do anything you might regret 20 years down the road.
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Jennts u need to do some deep thinking. Imagine u were in your dad's shoes how would u feel? U wanna be a girl thats fine but how would he felt? He have a son and now is becoming a girl? I wouldn't object to wat u are doing right now and i won't say it isn't appropriate. But i believe that your dad is doing it for your own good. We can accept you but it's not easy for your dad to do so. Give him some time and convince him of wat u are doing.
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Originally posted by MidnightK:
WHAT THE!
after he died, you would wish he's alive..
which parents don't care about their child?
which parents don't have the best interest of their child..
they tried to give the child the best..
but it's impossible..
i beg to differ. sometimes the difference between blood and water is simply DNA.
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Originally posted by the Bear:
yeah.. sometimes all the parent has to do for a child is to let the child go so that the child can grow to become all that the child can be...
the child is not there for the parents to live vicariously through..
even if the child makes mistakes after reaching a certain, it will be part of the child's life..
the greatest gift the parent can give their children is their blessing and their freedom.. while standing by and being there in case their children require comfort and a shoulder to cry on..
letting go.. is the hardest but most vital part of being a good parent.. and if the parent doesn't do so, their children will be crippled emotionally forever..
love is sometimes doing the hard things... and one of the hardest things may be accepting that your child is not the same as you...
does that mean the parent withdraws their love? if so, does the parent really love? for it is unconditional..
back to Jenn.. hey.. hopefully one day your folks will understand... and if it's any consolation, some of us hope you find happiness..
i second the bear's thoughts.
to add on some of my own, you are not fucked for life when you're only 18. no one in singapore is fucked for life when they are only 18 unless they are born deformed, suffer from down's syndrome, lose a brain, hand or leg, or lose their lives over some dramatic accident.
i can quote you at least 5 examples of local transgenders who made successful transitions (albeit grueling) both physically and emotionally in our society. the difference lies in how you fight.
wake up your idea about thinking you're fucked. we're in the 21st millenium, it's only a taboo if you think it is one.
so get a grip because no one is going to give you added sympathy just because you're not 'one of the normal ones.'
growing up is tough for everybody.
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by the way, the day your dad accepts you for who you truly are, is the one fine day you prove to him you have the ability to keep your chin up. when you are able to live an independent life with pride (i know i sound like a freaking horoscope here) and when you treat yourself well, he may not be proud of you but he'll accept you for who you are.
when the day comes and he still don't, well who cares right?