I wish my Dad were dead...
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Pardon me for not knowing how to quote. I haven't visited the forums since we had a forum makeover until yesterday because my browser couldn't display the forums properly. So, I took less than a minute to actually try to figure out where the 'quote' button was hidden; sorry hor, i beri dumb one, muz take so long. u beri smart k? knw hw to use ur blain. Think you could use it to actually type something more comprehensible?
Anyway, this shall be my last post in this thread before it continues into a flame fest, and I'd just like to say a few things first:
I think that the general impression that people here have of me is that I'm an immature whiny brat - someone who hasn't thought through things yet properly, but expects everything to go her way, and whines when things don't go smoothly.
It's not true... I've spent 3+ years thinking about this day, and night; trying to figure out a way for this to work for me, but also considering the lives of those whom I'd affect as well through my actions. I've spoke to many many people - parents, siblings, relatives, friends (mainly schoolmates), other transsexuals (prostitutes, students, university graduates, some who transition after marriage - from different parts of the world), counsellors, psychiatrists, doctors, Christians, Christian pastors, Christian counsellors, gay Christians, de-transitioners. I've heard practically every side there is to hear, I've done all my research, and even though there was a period where I was considering de-transitioning due to strong pressure from the Christian side, I still stand firm on my decision to take this path.This is who I am, and I can't change it even if I want to.
I know it's not easy for those around me to adjust, especially my father. I've spent a lot of time wondering how to help them cope. Accepting me it's not the only problem, but having to face other people - collegues, relatives, family friends - is another big issue too. I've tried my best to help my father understand me; I've tried explaning to him, I've tried getting some of my uncles and aunties to help explain to him too, I've even had my psychiatrist explain to him, and I've given him time, but he refuses to accept it. On the other hand, I can't change myself either. You might say I'm being selfish, but between my father's pride and my own happiness, *sigh* well, it's my life to live; not his.
I tried to do things on my own to make my life better for myself, since my parents won't help, only to have it all stripped away by my father (it's not just about my hair). I came here last night in a fury, hoping to rant it off by typing it in here. I wasn't expecting anyone to sympathise with me, but I guess I was hoping someone would come up with some helpful advice. Sadly, there's nothing here I haven't already heard, haven't considered or haven't tried countless times - with the exception of waiting till I'm independent (that will be my last resort). I'm not saying that I don't appreciate the advice; I truely am grateful for the people who actually came in here to try help me.
Thanks....
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JennTS, please ignore my previous post. When you free, go do some research on what these four concepts means to you.
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2. �念�：观�是苦
3. 心念ä½�ï¼šè§‚å¿ƒæ— å¸¸
4. 法念ä½�ï¼šè§‚æ³•æ— æˆ‘
This is my final advice for you in this topic, take care.
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Every transsexual has to start transitioning at some point in his/her life; I intended to start after graduating from secondary school. Hopefully I could grow my hair longer, toss out all my old clothes and replace it with female clothes, change all my legal documents to reflect my new name and photo, and start living my life as female through polytechnic. In fact, I did tell him about this 2+ years ago and he was fine with it, unfortunately now he isn't.
And before you all have some image of a guy with a big build and a deep voice, dressing up in a spag strap or whatever, I am not at all like that. I pretty much look like any other teenage girl you'd find down the street. I have actually gone out and met quite a lot of people too when my hair was longer, and they don't even have the slightless clue that I'm transsexual.
JennTS,
May I remind you that you will have a very hard time going through poly being a transexxual. People at your age can be VERY cruel, once they find out you are not what you are on the outside, they will tease you, they will say nasty things to hurt you, they will make your life hell at school. Because you will be in a closed social environment, you may find it very difficult as you will have no where to run there.
May I suggest you hold off the idea until you have graduated with the needed certifications to earn your living. That way, you will be financially independent to do what you need to do, and to live a life with a clique of your own, your way. OUT THERE.....not in school.
Life is harsh, being a transexxual is to swim against the strong currents.
You need to be strong, and be very convicted in your believes.
Once you become a transexxual, people WILL treat you differently, but you must accept this as part of what you are.
May I wish you find happiness in your life choices, that is the most important thing in life.
But please, don't wake up on the surgery bed regretting what the doctors took away from you.
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Hi JennTS, I'm not sum one who is able to give sound and good advices so i just wish u all the best in wadeva choice that u made.
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To TS,
I sincerely wish you all the best in whatever you do.
take care
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Originally posted by JennTS:
Pardon me for not knowing how to quote. I haven't visited the forums since we had a forum makeover until yesterday because my browser couldn't display the forums properly. So, I took less than a minute to actually try to figure out where the 'quote' button was hidden; sorry hor, i beri dumb one, muz take so long. u beri smart k? knw hw to use ur blain. Think you could use it to actually type something more comprehensible?
Anyway, this shall be my last post in this thread before it continues into a flame fest, and I'd just like to say a few things first:
I think that the general impression that people here have of me is that I'm an immature whiny brat - someone who hasn't thought through things yet properly, but expects everything to go her way, and whines when things don't go smoothly.
It's not true... I've spent 3+ years thinking about this day, and night; trying to figure out a way for this to work for me, but also considering the lives of those whom I'd affect as well through my actions. I've spoke to many many people - parents, siblings, relatives, friends (mainly schoolmates), other transsexuals (prostitutes, students, university graduates, some who transition after marriage - from different parts of the world), counsellors, psychiatrists, doctors, Christians, Christian pastors, Christian counsellors, gay Christians, de-transitioners. I've heard practically every side there is to hear, I've done all my research, and even though there was a period where I was considering de-transitioning due to strong pressure from the Christian side, I still stand firm on my decision to take this path.This is who I am, and I can't change it even if I want to.
I know it's not easy for those around me to adjust, especially my father. I've spent a lot of time wondering how to help them cope. Accepting me it's not the only problem, but having to face other people - collegues, relatives, family friends - is another big issue too. I've tried my best to help my father understand me; I've tried explaning to him, I've tried getting some of my uncles and aunties to help explain to him too, I've even had my psychiatrist explain to him, and I've given him time, but he refuses to accept it. On the other hand, I can't change myself either. You might say I'm being selfish, but between my father's pride and my own happiness, *sigh* well, it's my life to live; not his.
I tried to do things on my own to make my life better for myself, since my parents won't help, only to have it all stripped away by my father (it's not just about my hair). I came here last night in a fury, hoping to rant it off by typing it in here. I wasn't expecting anyone to sympathise with me, but I guess I was hoping someone would come up with some helpful advice. Sadly, there's nothing here I haven't already heard, haven't considered or haven't tried countless times - with the exception of waiting till I'm independent (that will be my last resort). I'm not saying that I don't appreciate the advice; I truely am grateful for the people who actually came in here to try help me.
Thanks....
I dont mean it in the horrid sense.
But you need to grow up, get your independance and financial capability.
Keep your contact with your psych doc and learn how to live life with people around you. Irrespectively of their decisions or opinions of you.
I know my trans friends does, then so can you. But if you choose anger/hate/impatience, its a indication that you arent ready for anything and merely using these events to pinpoint your difficulty to the life you choose, then you probably arent ready for a sex change.
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Originally posted by viciouskitty74:
I dont mean it in the horrid sense.
But you need to grow up, get your independance and financial capability.
Keep your contact with your psych doc and learn how to live life with people around you. Irrespectively of their decisions or opinions of you.
I know my trans friends does, then so can you. But if you choose anger/hate/impatience, its a indication that you arent ready for anything and merely using these events to pinpoint your difficulty to the life you choose, then you probably arent ready for a sex change.
i think you'd say different if someone just applied a belt with force on you..
violence is never to be condoned..
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Be boy is better..
sigh
not everyone can accept their son to become a new daughter
why not choose normal life but this? is feeling is the most important to u without accepting that your really a guy ?
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TS, you are struggling... you family and parents struggle with you. However, as the first person basis ... you have an extra advantage. Being 3rd person role, in the case of your parents.... its hard on them too...
To change the world is not to be abrasive and brutal. Its always to be compassionate and gentle.
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Dear Jenn
He has his mind set, you have yours.
He'll only change it when he sees that you can make something out of your life. No amount of argument will persuade him, only if and when he sees undeniable proof.
Stop wasting your time on persuading him. Live your life best way you can, you'll persuade him with your happiness more then with your words.
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One sentence .. Never live your life with regrets .. Good luck TS and take care!
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Originally posted by the Bear:
i think you'd say different if someone just applied a belt with force on you..
violence is never to be condoned..
I missed something?
There was a belt with force issue?????
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Originally posted by JennTS:
Well, first thing I want to say is that I guess I didn't really mean it when I wrote the topic title. My Dad said some really hurtful things to me last night, and he hit me with his belt too, so I was quite in a rage before writing this.
K.....Got it.Sorry to the_bear for missing this portion.
Like, the TS, I have problems with my mother, the last few resulting in me at the tip of Benjamin Sheares Bridge, my flat's ledge and the AYE at the left lane waiting to be ran over on the ultra rainy day.
Violence isnt new to me. And using money to make me comply isnt new to me either. It takes me a while to realise that once you stop taking their money, you are independant and nothing much they can do if you stand your ground/decisions and live your life.
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Wah. Sad case.
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Originally posted by JennTS:
@soleachip: I...think you misinterpreted what I said about being screwed for life, but then again I used the wrong ways to convey my point. What I meant to say was that if my Dad throws me out, I'm gonna be screwed because I don't have a good enough education to help me survive. Life is going to be bumpy, having to balance a part time career, education, and paying of monthly expenses.
Thanks for the rest of the advice though...
My apologies. I tend to go overboard with the drama. I wish you well and chin up!
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Ok. My input is that you should live with your situation now while not self-denying who you are internally as it is not the right time for you. Secondly, your dad needs some time to accept the fact, even if it is already 2 to 3 years. I think as long as you and your friend accept you as who you are, It could be sufficient for you now.
It is okay to have your hair short, even as a girl. There are so many girls and even gays who have their hair short.. so why not ?
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Jenn do wad you think is best for yourself
GANBATTE NEH
