what have i done?
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Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
like they say, advice is advice, listen and heed which you deem fit, yet not be biased.
good luck doing things ur way then since u refused to heed the advice here though. and something else do not think that world revolves ard you though. someone else have their own lives to live though. dun ruin it for others. in ur previous thread, you memtion that you will change and seeking counselling. hmm.. look at you now, doing things ur way, ruining other people 's life, driving people away from you. you done a gd job there though. i hope you will find what you want doing things ur way though. change ur perspective and you will change ur life. you are what you think though
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the feeling is that: i had hit her, this one we moved on, sharing everything in a book, her mom read every page of it, from the most innocent to the most explicit, not my gratification but for memories.
in the end yes, it backfired. as much as we cannot be friends now, a tinge of greatness runs through me. it feels so powerful to destroy someone else's life like this. i know its wrong but she had always given me the abusive words and degrading insults, i feel like its retribution. and yes, she said, it was retribution for her.
somehow as much as i wan to dissapear from her life, i feel the urge to know what she is doing, but i wont stalk nor talk to her. its pointless, maybe few months later.
but something i know is that she is going to throw away my things, threatening to send my clothes back in rags and soft toys without heads. such sadistic thoughts from a girl! i wan to get back my stuff but i feel it is very hard to ask from her.
she has changed all her pw for msn and friendster and decided to del me from both. today, the first day i slept well. i dont know why i feel so relaxed now.
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Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
the feeling is that: i had hit her, this one we moved on, sharing everything in a book, her mom read every page of it, from the most innocent to the most explicit, not my gratification but for memories.
in the end yes, it backfired. as much as we cannot be friends now, a tinge of greatness runs through me. it feels so powerful to destroy someone else's life like this. i know its wrong but she had always given me the abusive words and degrading insults, i feel like its retribution. and yes, she said, it was retribution for her.
somehow as much as i wan to dissapear from her life, i feel the urge to know what she is doing, but i wont stalk nor talk to her. its pointless, maybe few months later.
but something i know is that she is going to throw away my things, threatening to send my clothes back in rags and soft toys without heads. such sadistic thoughts from a girl! i wan to get back my stuff but i feel it is very hard to ask from her.
she has changed all her pw for msn and friendster and decided to del me from both. today, the first day i slept well. i dont know why i feel so relaxed now.
"the feeling is that: i had hit her, this one we moved on"
the feeling you had hit her, i dun think u will move on though. you say ur counselling for that but i dun think it has done anything to ur anger management though.
"sharing everything in a book, her mom read every page of it, from the most innocent to the most explicit, not my gratification but for memories." my foot lo! whatever reason you think u are doing it for, i do not think it's for memories at all. it does not mean you want to remember, she want to remember it all lo. in a way, i can sense ur evil desires when you have done this lo.
"in the end yes, it backfired. as much as we cannot be friends now, a tinge of greatness runs through me. it feels so powerful to destroy someone else's life like this. i know its wrong but she had always given me the abusive words and degrading insults, i feel like its retribution. and yes, she said, it was retribution for her." you are just finding excuses for what you have done to make yourself feel better. if she is indeed like that, you could be the one let go not by treating her the way you do.
"she has changed all her pw for msn and friendster and decided to del me from both. today, the first day i slept well. i dont know why i feel so relaxed now." good for her that she has finally get rid of you in her life. the way i see it, you are real devil here.
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Leave this episode behind as best as you can. The deed has already been done.
The more you try ro make amends, sometimes, the worse it gets.
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Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
the feeling is that: i had hit her, this one we moved on, sharing everything in a book, her mom read every page of it, from the most innocent to the most explicit, not my gratification but for memories.
in the end yes, it backfired. as much as we cannot be friends now, a tinge of greatness runs through me. it feels so powerful to destroy someone else's life like this. i know its wrong but she had always given me the abusive words and degrading insults, i feel like its retribution. and yes, she said, it was retribution for her.
somehow as much as i wan to dissapear from her life, i feel the urge to know what she is doing, but i wont stalk nor talk to her. its pointless, maybe few months later.
but something i know is that she is going to throw away my things, threatening to send my clothes back in rags and soft toys without heads. such sadistic thoughts from a girl! i wan to get back my stuff but i feel it is very hard to ask from her.
she has changed all her pw for msn and friendster and decided to del me from both. today, the first day i slept well. i dont know why i feel so relaxed now.
Seph,You are a wounded soul.
Now you have closure. Time to heal my friend.
Items that belongs to you, like your clothes and valuables, you can ask her for the return.
But if she refused, those are .. merely materials that can be replaced, don't fret over it.
But items given as gifts to her, please let it be.
There is no value to take back what you cannot use for yourself.
Let this be a past, one day you will look back, and laugh at it all.
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i bought for her something she likes as gifts, now she is going to throw them away. its the pain that i bought it for her and that i hope she would be better of with them, i bought a wallet ytd, and she throws it away today.
and now, she is able to get through it, even with distress, going out with frens having fun while im here pondering.
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Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
the feeling is that: i had hit her, this one we moved on, sharing everything in a book, her mom read every page of it, from the most innocent to the most explicit, not my gratification but for memories.
in the end yes, it backfired. as much as we cannot be friends now, a tinge of greatness runs through me. it feels so powerful to destroy someone else's life like this. i know its wrong but she had always given me the abusive words and degrading insults, i feel like its retribution. and yes, she said, it was retribution for her.
somehow as much as i wan to dissapear from her life, i feel the urge to know what she is doing, but i wont stalk nor talk to her. its pointless, maybe few months later.
but something i know is that she is going to throw away my things, threatening to send my clothes back in rags and soft toys without heads. such sadistic thoughts from a girl! i wan to get back my stuff but i feel it is very hard to ask from her.
she has changed all her pw for msn and friendster and decided to del me from both. today, the first day i slept well. i dont know why i feel so relaxed now.
for her to threaten that is cos she is very angry with you and hates you to the core.i think why you feel so relaxed now is cos you feel you no longer stand a chance of winning her back which might not be a bad thing after all.
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Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
i bought for her something she likes as gifts, now she is going to throw them away. its the pain that i bought it for her and that i hope she would be better of with them, i bought a wallet ytd, and she throws it away today.
and now, she is able to get through it, even with distress, going out with frens having fun while im here pondering.
since you have given her the gifts, it is hers and she can do anything to it. you cant control that.at least with her friends, she is trying to get out of this instead of wallowing in misery over what happened. she is moving on, how about you?
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Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
in the end yes, it backfired. as much as we cannot be friends now, a tinge of greatness runs through me. it feels so powerful to destroy someone else's life like this. i know its wrong but she had always given me the abusive words and degrading insults, i feel like its retribution. and yes, she said, it was retribution for her.
somehow as much as i wan to dissapear from her life, i feel the urge to know what she is doing, but i wont stalk nor talk to her. its pointless, maybe few months later.
i wan to get back my stuff but i feel it is very hard to ask from her.
As much as I tried to summon up some sympathies for you, I couldn't. They said "Youth is wasted on the young" and I hope you won't continue to demostrate that.I'd advise you to continue with counselling or even seek psychiatric help. What things go wrong, it's naturally easier to point fingers - I hope you would further examine yourself and become a better person.
Lastly, you gave the stuff to her... So just let her have it and leave with some dignity; so far as I know, you've already caused her enough harm...
Alas, such unenlightened mind.
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TS punched her? i din see this part leh..
if ur existence will not be beneficial to her, then juz leave her alone lor.
if u have caused so much pain to her, i dun see why she can't throw away the things u gave her. if i were her, i think i will be happier thinking that u are dead.
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Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
i bought for her something she likes as gifts, now she is going to throw them away. its the pain that i bought it for her and that i hope she would be better of with them, i bought a wallet ytd, and she throws it away today.
and now, she is able to get through it, even with distress, going out with frens having fun while im here pondering.
you listen to mi here ok mr sep. you just leave her alone!!! she can do whatever she wants with what you given her though. and another thing is that how do you knoe she is going to get through it? how do you ever know that. just leave her alone and that's that.
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This is really frustrating. Nothing gets through that thick skull of that boy.
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Originally posted by mistyblue:
This is really frustrating. Nothing gets through that thick skull of that boy.
yeah nothing ever get through. -
TS does not understand pain cos he had never felt it.
He did not know the pain when he hit her cos no one ever hit him before. He will when the time comes when he is hit so badly by others that he could not even stand.
He used the book to mock at her and used it as a revenge tool but it pulled her closer to her mum and her friends.
The book was the closure his ex need to prove once and for all her love for him is useless.
To TS you feel the pain cos life was never kind to anyone even to those who did good deeds.
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Originally posted by Guardx:
TS does not understand pain cos he had never felt it.
He did not know the pain when he hit her cos no one ever hit him before. He will when the time comes when he is hit so badly by others that he could not even stand.
He used the book to mock at her and used it as a revenge tool but it pulled her closer to her mum and her friends.
The book was the closure his ex need to prove once and for all her love for him is useless.
To TS you feel the pain cos life was never kind to anyone even to those who did good deeds.
you knoe the both of them personally? -
its ok, i did something that fulfilled me. :D
its ok whatever happens now....
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Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
its ok, i did something that fulfilled me. :D
its ok whatever happens now....
whatever then and good luck in ur life. -
Originally posted by Guardx:
TS does not understand pain cos he had never felt it.
He did not know the pain when he hit her cos no one ever hit him before. He will when the time comes when he is hit so badly by others that he could not even stand.
He used the book to mock at her and used it as a revenge tool but it pulled her closer to her mum and her friends.
The book was the closure his ex need to prove once and for all her love for him is useless.
To TS you feel the pain cos life was never kind to anyone even to those who did good deeds.
yes i never felt the pain, neither has she felt the pain.i did not use it to mock at her. i dont care whether her family is closer bt i thought of the book as a whole, sex, relationships, things we do, tattoos, stuff we eat, stuff we say, things we like.... i din intend to mock. i mean u feel that its mockery but it is not.
at the end of the day we settled it and i all along wanted to leave her alone but now, i finally can let go.
still, people may say this n that but at the end, only both of us knows what happened right? even our parents cant say or judge much.
but yes, i yearn to let her go! how much our hatred goes in synchrony!
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Originally posted by rlsh07:
whatever then and good luck in ur life.
whatever to u too. -
Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
whatever to u too.yeah thank you very much.
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Originally posted by rlsh07:
yeah thank you very much.
i know u meant well.....u have ur views i have mine. i see ur view so do u.i was not letting go cuz i saw something in it, but now, i see the true colours, but i bear secrecy to everyone around me so i cannot divulge. its extremely detrimental to both our families.
but we solved it, in the hard way.
as much as i loved the look on their faces....:D
thanks...
rlsh07, thank you too.
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just a curious question to TS,
If one day you fell deeply in love with another nice gal, after marriage the gal starts to kick you and hit you? what will you do?
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Originally posted by sEphIrOth:
yes i never felt the pain, neither has she felt the pain.i did not use it to mock at her. i dont care whether her family is closer bt i thought of the book as a whole, sex, relationships, things we do, tattoos, stuff we eat, stuff we say, things we like.... i din intend to mock. i mean u feel that its mockery but it is not.
at the end of the day we settled it and i all along wanted to leave her alone but now, i finally can let go.
still, people may say this n that but at the end, only both of us knows what happened right? even our parents cant say or judge much.
but yes, i yearn to let her go! how much our hatred goes in synchrony!
Seph,
Memories are meant to be kept in your heart. Because as time past, only good memories will remain strong.
Humans tends to want to forget bad memories. We try to shove it into the back of our minds, hopefully these shall be forgotten.
When you put your "memories" in words, it becomes a display. A journal that only the ones who cares will cherish.
A gift is meant to be cherished, a gift is a form of reminder of your love for her. Since there is no longer love between the two of you, the memories that lingers on those gifts are no longer desirable.
Looking through your post. I noticed you are like a viral infection.
The symptoms manifest when the relationship is weak.
The only way to get rid of you , is to let the virus runs its course.
During which, you the virus cause temporary discomfort and inconvenience.
But in the end, the host becomes immune to you the virus, and becomes stronger and learns how to deal with another virus in the future.
The virus, mutates and infect another host.
But Seph, I sense there is some resentment in you, towards the people around you.
Your happiness stems from their misery.
Such a person, cannot love whole heartedly. Meaning you will always have a hole in your heart.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Seph,
Memories are meant to be kept in your heart. Because as time past, only good memories will remain strong.
Humans tends to want to forget bad memories. We try to shove it into the back of our minds, hopefully these shall be forgotten.
When you put your "memories" in words, it becomes a display. A journal that only the ones who cares will cherish.
A gift is meant to be cherished, a gift is a form of reminder of your love for her. Since there is no longer love between the two of you, the memories that lingers on those gifts are no longer desirable.
Looking through your post. I noticed you are like a viral infection.
The symptoms manifest when the relationship is weak.
The only way to get rid of you , is to let the virus runs its course.
During which, you the virus cause temporary discomfort and inconvenience.
But in the end, the host becomes immune to you the virus, and becomes stronger and learns how to deal with another virus in the future.
The virus, mutates and infect another host.
But Seph, I sense there is some resentment in you, towards the people around you.
Your happiness stems from their misery.
Such a person, cannot love whole heartedly. Meaning you will always have a hole in your heart.
well said.
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