my ex came back. im lost abt what i shld do
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Originally posted by steph09:
to be frank, my mind is in a confused stage now, as i’m easily “xin ruan”.
It is a sad thing that most girls are usually trained to be sweet, polite and not to antagonize since young. Some jerks (pardon me for calling your ex that) will see this as an opportunity to come and take advantage of nice girls like you except that they are not as obvious as the villians we see on tv dramas. They can look like normal people and may even be sweet and caring in their own ways. BUT, the only difference is that they are taking advantage of you by abusing the trust you place in them.In my personal point of view, you can still be that sweet young lady in your own rights. But the sweetest and most polite thing you can do now is to totally cut off contacts with him and not hear from him at all. Nevermind if you think he may be heartbroken (if he is sincerely heartbroken at all), cos does he think for you at all that you are disturbed by all these? Dun worry about him being angry at you, cos these are none of your fault but his doings. If he curse and swear at you, that just all the more goes to show his dark and ugly side rather than yours. You are more of a "victim" than he may proclaim himself to be.
Originally posted by jojobeach:Steph09,
This shows what a jerk he really is.
He felt indebted to her because of the abortion. Yet he cheated on her, is this how he pays back his debt.
I wonder how he's gonna pay you for YOUR kindness ?
Think rationally on this point ger. He also must have spoken a lot of sweet nothings to his prev gf. Just that these are things he would try to hide away from you or even lie to u about. Think back on the time he was two-timing his gf and made you a third party without your knowledge.Originally posted by steph09:we broke up 1 year back. the reason why we broke up was becos he confessed that he had a gf all along (i was still unaware of the situation den) and i couldn't be accepting being "the other woman". many times, he asked me to stay with him but he had no plans to break up with her. During this 1 year after breaking up, there are a couple of times that he called and mentioned he saw me with guys, and he was jealous over that. He feels as though he had given me away. of cos, during this period after breaking up, he did, on a few occasions, asked me back but i rejected.
Now, he has broken up with the gf, and has been asking me out. Did only went out once and afterwhich we had been talking over the phone frequently. he had been hinting abt getting back, but i ignore that. now the hint has become obvious and he wants me back. I'm afraid that history will repeat itself and one thing that's for sure, i no longer have the trust and confidence in him. i told him that i hope we can remain as friends now, and any other things, we shall talk abt it later.
I'm kinda lost now, apparently he did told me that he's quite disappointed over my response.
Could anyone give some suggestions on my situation?
If you love yourself, you know truly you deserve better. Remember your head, heart and guts. Your heart is calling out for a love that is true. Not FAKE and abusive (yes, emotionally abusive). -
this kind of sad story again.......
same thing with my friend except he's the guy. wanted to patch up with his wife after having an affair but i just told him to save the effort because knowing him yeah he really regreted it now but give him another 2 months with his wife he'll start "eating outside" again.
like you, the women around him are all softhearted to him, want to give him another chance but it won't work. they know deep down inside it'll never work out but they like to cling on to hope. kinda stupid isn't it? but love is blind, some women can love men who beat them and cheat their money yet cannot accept others who treat them well.
like all those who went back and hurt themselves all over again, the best advice i can offer is, if you really choose him, at least make sure you enjoy the process, and then pick yourself up again when its all over.
i'm sure you'll be able to get a listening ear over here again.
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dun think u should
say byebyebye
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Originally posted by steph09:
we broke up 1 year back. the reason why we broke up was becos he confessed that he had a gf all along (i was still unaware of the situation den) and i couldn't be accepting being "the other woman". many times, he asked me to stay with him but he had no plans to break up with her. During this 1 year after breaking up, there are a couple of times that he called and mentioned he saw me with guys, and he was jealous over that. He feels as though he had given me away. of cos, during this period after breaking up, he did, on a few occasions, asked me back but i rejected.
Now, he has broken up with the gf, and has been asking me out. Did only went out once and afterwhich we had been talking over the phone frequently. he had been hinting abt getting back, but i ignore that. now the hint has become obvious and he wants me back. I'm afraid that history will repeat itself and one thing that's for sure, i no longer have the trust and confidence in him. i told him that i hope we can remain as friends now, and any other things, we shall talk abt it later.
I'm kinda lost now, apparently he did told me that he's quite disappointed over my response.
Could anyone give some suggestions on my situation?
Pardon me, in my sincerest opinion, you shouldn't even be keeping touch with him at all. If it were me, I would have deleted him off my contact list.The tactics I see him pulling, do not even deem him worthy as a friend in the first place.
Because you are not even sure of yourself in this confused state right now, it is best if you ignore all his calls and even his presence if he goes find you. Get someone to accompany you if possible like a friend or a sister to ward him off.
I'm telling you based on experience. I have an ex who i was actually with for several years. He is still messaging me mushy stuff on and off. I have my reasons for not being able to cut off ties totally.
For all that he does and is, he is totally not worth it. You deserve someone better.
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a leopard nv changes its spot ( not being rude or anything),
its best to not take him back
but obviously its difficult,
i got a fren hu is being two timed and still she doesnt want to give up the r/s
see. love is blind -
well all things said & done with, it's now up to the TS to decide & eventually live with her decision....hopefully she can post back again to tell us the good.............or bad news
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The same thing happened to me and I just made it clear to him that it's not possible.
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Simple as it might have sound......
Drop all this reasoning
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thanks for the advices for the past 2 days.. was unable to log on due to exams. anywya, did some thinking through and i've also weighed a few more factors which leads to my decision that i will not be gg back to him. i agree with you guys that i deserve someone better. anyway. since i can reject him twice last time, i can do it for the third time.
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Why do you want to make your life so complicated...clean cut clean cut!
You will be happier with someone who loves you and you love him in return..
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Originally posted by steph09:
thanks for the advices for the past 2 days.. was unable to log on due to exams. anywya, did some thinking through and i’ve also weighed a few more factors which leads to my decision that i will not be gg back to him. i agree with you guys that i deserve someone better. anyway. since i can reject him twice last time, i can do it for the third time.
Good then, you can get a fresh new one don't need to bother about old bird with so many problems before
