Uncertain Relationship
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Topic details Deleted By TS.
But advice still appreciated, you guys can give me more advice.
Currently i am on the verge of either give up, be normal friend with him or try to win him over.
Anyway that young girl is very "Lian" i don't understand how come ... aiyah... humh......Anyway on the very next morning, he called me to ask if my hand ok.. Coz injured by car door.
Which i didn't say much, but i am ok. And i told him i am working n busy now, he say ok ask me to call him when i am free. But i didn't call. 2 days later i sms him, but no respond.Don't know what the hack he want.. humh,,
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Re-post for better understanding of the whole things after the incident he brought the lady fren into our friends gathering.
He invited me to dinner 3 days after the clubbing where he brought the lady friend into our group. During chatting, he explain that gal tag along that night becoz she called him and was telling him she is sad. For some reasons which he didn't say anyway it's ok.
Topic 1: He told me he dnt understand gals, coz gals like to show the independant side of them before relationship but then when into relationship they tend to show their true personality of being over dependant on bf. He told me, his last ex-gf were like that. I ask him if he is talking abt me, he say No nt me.
Topic 2: He say usually if he date a gal, even if he know their characters don't click but he will never forsake the gal. I asked him why.. He said it's his responsiblity to stay but he will wait for the gal to leave. I ask what if she dnt leave ? He replied, then he will stay put.
I told him it will hurt the gal. Even if you were not breaking up with her, as we have feeling that the man do not luv us.1 day ago
Topic 3: But he said no, coz he will not tell her, but come on we will know ppl dont luv us.
Then he say he isn't trying to say he will not luv the gal.
He will not leave but will still treat her as good even scarifice for her . But It's just inside he know they aren't suitable.
Topic 4 : I told him, i distance away from a close guy fren suddenly after he start showing feeling. He told me, he don't like this type of reaction, i shld tell the guy not react this way ? Which i did disappear away from him, 1 or 2mth. Then contact him again. I disappear when i know i start to fall deeper for him :( to control my feeling.1 day ago
He also grumble at me, to ask him out only when my friends ain't available. I told him i am afraid he will find me nuisance. he say no lah.. He say he don't have much outing during weekend, if i want just ask him.
He would tell me A - Z what he did last weekend. But i didn't asked. -
only two things you can do...
ask him about it...
or....keep quite and move on..
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if he like u then he wouldnt bring a girl..........
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Why let yourself be controlled by so much uncertainty....when you can decide for yourself...
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Huh, i thought he's trying to stay way from the lady infront of you.
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You should consider your feelings for him.
For a guy who can't give up singlehood to be attached, it say a lot of his character - He's unwilling to be bonded; desires no inhibitions of a relationship; and in a way, is unwilling to make sacrifices (if need be) for his other half. Would you still consider this type of guy as your stead?
Before jumping to any conclusions, perhaps it's good to find out who's that girl he brought to the party. Is she his new love? Is she a potential for him?
I got this nagging feeling that you've read too much into his actions. But it just shows how much he matters to you. Ask yourself clearly if he is the guy for you. Again, it is best to find out the truth since his last confession. Does he still have feelings for you? Is he willing to take the plunge? How long does he have to make you wait?
Just be mentally prepared, as the truth hurts sometimes.
Buying stuff has no special meaning, unless it is out of the blue. More probably he had asked out of courtesy.
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Originally posted by Martini7712:
I have a guy who confessed his feeling for me but told me he like to wait till the impulsive feeling to be gone b4 decide what to do. Reason given: He is used to his singlehood of 7years.
He treat me ok, on business trip he even made effort to shop for my shopping list in stranger land.
We are in contact almost 4days a week. But recently in a our friends gathering, he brought a lady in.
Intro 2 us as friend, i waited at the club lobby for 30min as he told me he couldn't locate us.
I had a rude shock when i saw the lady. Which i wasn't prepare to see, as he never told me he brought a friend.
In club, the girl keep asking him 2 escort to restroom, smoking outside the club. The girl keep getting him to pass get this and that for her, when he tried to chat with me.
Leaving the club, i saw the girl grab his arm / fore-arm behind me. But when i turn to see again, they broke away the arm grab. And he move his way alittle faster then the lady. Is he trying to tell me to stop waiting for him ?
But he still ask me out for movie, dinner or coffee in his off day.
I am puzzle. Or am i reading 2much into his movement and things he do for me.
Friends told me, buying stuff from oversea for you doesn't mean anything.
But he was the one who ask what i want in oversea. Sigh..
I thought we will only try to find stuff for gf or some1 you like.
If like me, why did he bring a girl into gathering, when everyone should know such move will coz upset to the other party ? i am disappointed as i though we were waiting for each other to settle down in feeling / impulsive. etc...
(He did bring me to his friends gathering a couple of times too. I thought we will only intro guy / gal to our group friend if he / she is the one ? Sigh..Anyone to advice what to do now ? Should i leave him alone and move on ? tks.
u should jz move on without him... he not serious type... forget abt him...
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Originally posted by Ed11790:
if he like u then he wouldnt bring a girl….......
That's what i thought in my heart. humh... -
Originally posted by stellazio:
Huh, i thought he's trying to stay way from the lady infront of you.
I don't know, i am abit lost in the club because of the shock stage. To be frank. As it caught me by surprise.
In the club:- whole night the gal either pass song slip, ask him to pass to KJ
- Ask him to escort to restroom
- Ask him to company to smoking outside the club
- Try to whisper in his ear doing chatting infront of friends. Friends look at me, in puzzle as they know the status we are in after all.
- In the club, he doesn't seems to mind what the girl is doing. But just chat with me as per normal, at time he whisper to me telling me his work and etc.. normal chatting.
- Going home time, i saw the gal grab his arm, but 2nd time i turned i saw him move to walk faster away from her to fetch his car. (he didn't sent me home, as i took my fren's car. He stay in East, i am in the West)
Does it count in staying away ? I am not in right state of mind to look at things thus need help from ext.. tks -
Originally posted by Ed11790:
if he like u then he wouldnt bring a girl….......
ya now not married bring a girl
if really married will bring a mistress lol
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must learn how to let go & find better man lar
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Originally posted by xavier1979:
You should consider your feelings for him.
I admit i like him very much. But neither he nor me have the courage in relationship That's why both of us doesn't move at all in the relation.
For a guy who can't give up singlehood to be attached, it say a lot of his character - He's unwilling to be bonded; desires no inhibitions of a relationship; and in a way, is unwilling to make sacrifices (if need be) for his other half. Would you still consider this type of guy as your stead?
His reason which i hav no way to confirm: His ex gf, leave him for another richer guy in his car at his face. He waited for this gal for 6 years. Last 2years he just given up on the whole etc.. how true dont know..Before jumping to any conclusions, perhaps it's good to find out who's that girl he brought to the party. Is she his new love? Is she a potential for him?
According to the gal, they meet in a pub, when he went for drinks with collegues. Befriend exchange numbers, and he introduce her as friend to us. Potential i don't know, but she look abit on the "Lian" side with red line fringe. hee.. OOoopps..I got this nagging feeling that you've read too much into his actions. But it just shows how much he matters to you. Ask yourself clearly if he is the guy for you. Again, it is best to find out the truth since his last confession. Does he still have feelings for you? Is he willing to take the plunge? How long does he have to make you wait?
Maybe that's why i am asking for opinion, am i reading 2much into his actions. How am i going to find out the truth ? Sudden want me to ask him on his face, i tink i am not even in position to ask him who is the gal ? I meant ppl might ask who am i ?Just be mentally prepared, as the truth hurts sometimes.
Tks i will. After the night.Buying stuff has no special meaning, unless it is out of the blue. More probably he had asked out of courtesy.
courtesy.
But will you made ur way in other country (Business Trip) few hundred miles to find something for a girl you ain't interested, go to that shop, the asst told you no such design. You made way to hotel online, ask me for the design number /color. Go to the shop again to get that stuff the next day ? Will any guys run about in airport trying to look for a specify bag a gal wanted and you promise to get before boarding you ain't interested ? I don't know maybe some guys will. Maybe you guys/gal tell me, will you do these for normal fren. -
Thats what i think, but i wouldn't know as i wasn't there. Plus one shouldn't always believe what they see on the surface as well.
I guess you gotta talk to him, and ask him what he really wants.
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Originally posted by JerryYan:
must learn how to let go & find better man lar
It's always easier say then done. Especially when someone tell you like you asking for time. Next moment bring another lady fren down like that.. Too sudden to respond for me. I did though of let him go with finding out his true feeling. Maybe it's better not to know. -
I believe, you're ONE of the girls he puts on his waiting list as " Other Options".
Smart man.
You're more into him, than he's into you.
That night at the Club.. there's TWO very confused women, maybe when you have the chance.. go have a nice little girl talk with her. You'd probably find out, he's stringing BOTH of you along.
Yes, contacting you 4 days per week is very romantic.. but are you his ONLY ONE ?
Or is he contacting several girls 4 days per week ?
If you like the challenge.. I say you go for it. Tease him, flirt, do whatever you need to win this prick over. Then you decide if you want to keep him or dump him.
If you think your self-esteem is more valuable... you'd know what to do. You're a smart girl.
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move on
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
I believe, you're ONE of the girls he puts on his waiting list as " Other Options".
Smart man.
You're more into him, than he's into you.
That night at the Club.. there's TWO very confused women, maybe when you have the chance.. go have a nice little girl talk with her. You'd probably find out, he's stringing BOTH of you along.
Yes, contacting you 4 days per week is very romantic.. but are you his ONLY ONE ?
Or is he contacting several girls 4 days per week ?
If you like the challenge.. I say you go for it. Tease him, flirt, do whatever you need to win this prick over. Then you decide if you want to keep him or dump him.
If you think your self-esteem is more valuable... you'd know what to do. You're a smart girl.
I agree with jojobeach. Perhaps he's still weighing his options.
Gal, sometimes in life you have to find out the truth yourself. What is better than to have a face-to-face (and
-to-) talk with him? No one else needs to be around, and no one else needs to know your meeting with him.I admit though, that if there's this girl I fancy, and I don't have a gf, then perhaps I'd spend more time to source for the gift the girl wanted. Cos that's what I did many years back.
But then, you could just be an option.
Maybe you can foresee the decisions you'll take after you get your answers:
- If he says A, you will do X (eg. continue to wait for him).
- If he says B, you will do Y (eg. move on in life without him).At least you can get a move on, rather than be stuck here in this moment, like a jammed picture in a movie.
My 2 cents. Hope you don't mind.
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he still keeping his options open.
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See la, this is what happen when u get a BF earning more than 15k a month.
Always one leg step two boat...
Who knows what he is doing toninght?
Maybe you may call him at 12 and hear some moans, then.....um......
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u mean earn 1.5k oly one wun one leg step two boat meh.
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TS, are u very chio? are u mentally retard? Can't u see that i do so much thing for u becos i love u? Aren't u selfish to let me wait for u for so long?
Not that i couldn't get a girl... today is the time i show u. The fact that i still remain in contact with u is because i want to see ur answer, i couldn't wait anymore. If u still remain as u are now, i will leave with that girl... and u can wait forever...
TS u are just selfish. Guys can wait but not that long. U think i am just servant ar, u need me then call, dun need me kick me aside.
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uncertain....u the guy she talking about?
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he tok cock one lah.
liddat u oso believe.
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Originally posted by Hello Kitty:
he tok cock one lah.
liddat u oso believe.
Wow HK damn smart ar haha -
