A loner 24/7
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army will definitely talk to one another is it? hmmm..?
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confirm plus chop will
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Originally posted by gunner77:
confirm plus chop will
oh i @@. then wait till NS though if Ts still dun want to take the first step -
wow...just be sounds like me...i totally understand your situation
the difference is that i choose to be alone...haha...i used to have so many friends, and many of them in one way or another hurt me emotionally. also, i see so many people everyday that sometimes i get sick of talking to people. of course, a few years of such a policy in secondary school has affected my socialising skills a little; i find it kind of hard to meet new people now.
So, sometimes, i do get frustrated when i see people with so many friends walking down Orchard Road, or at the sports complex. However, since i entered JC, i really changed in a way that I started my life afresh. I made friends, i don't want to be alone anymore...still, i don't really like meeting people outside school and on weekends.
My advice is that if you really don't want to be a loner, start socializing. It really is up to you. If you're shy, get a close friend to help introduce yourself to others. You've got one life, so live it.
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Originally posted by justbe:
Is there anybody who has no life outside school, which also means school is the only place where you can actually socialise with others? Even at school, it's hard to make friends because of the introverted personality. Well, I'm one of the very rare sad cases where I find myself alone and lonely wherever I go. It doesn't help that I don't like the course that I'm taking at school but I'm already into my final year of polytechnic. Every day I go through the motions of waking up, eating and sleeping and even look forward to the same routine(except for school of course) to suppress my anxiety in life. I've absolutely no passion in life whatsoever and I'm finding it increasingly hard to get my work done. Has anybody felt this way?
no big deal.
I have friends who are loners too. In polytechnic, he is always alone and come to group projects, always nobody wants to do with him and the lecturer has to force any group to accept him.
Even now at work he is always alone. Alone eat lunch, alone go home etc
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Hey, thanks for all the replies. I'm a girl BTW. I'm not fat or ugly even though I don't do sports. Maith is right about this topic being self-pwnage and I could definitely use the time to sort out my problems. How I wish I was still having my school break! When I was working, I actually talked to people and almost become friends with them but we didn't have an excuse to meet after the work is done and everybody is back with their own lives!
I don't cycle, go bowling, play pool/DOTA and I guess friendships are formed through such common interests. I used to enjoy being in my own company and I wish I could stay that way but reality has caught up with me and I realise what a weirdo I must look like in the eyes of society doing everything alone....Other than that, I might even seem normal to you until you realise that I've life. >.<
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Aww.. u poor little thingy.
u frm which poly?
Friends? very easy made one wad.. find someone who have common interest la. like u like shopping? find someone go shop with u la..
dont like to exercise? find someone who make u exercise la.. i used to hate exercise also.. till i find a goal on why i should exercise and currently still working on it. Dont just think of "i need to exercise cause i need to stay healthy". thats bullshit crap. Yes, it does make u stay healthy but ppl still die from exercise. think of another personal goal.
how bout find someone to go home with? even better if you live far from your poly. who says go out with schoolmate must talk about school?
Now you say u cant find friends.. Will your next post be, "(TS age) and still cant find a bf"?
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yah easy to get frens in army la dun worry
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No offence meant but as TS mentioned in the very first post, she is inclined to the more Introvert side, which pretty much dismissed the ideas you all gave like find someone to go shopping etc..
TS: Like some wise people here mentioned, no one die from loneliness. To me, it seems that you take time to make friends and maybe in a year's time, when you stepped into the workforce, you will be working in the same environment (more or less) everyday and thats where you can start making friends. In the meantime, rant in forums if you wish to, do not bottle it up.
I used to have a lot of friends and like to open up. Slowly, i realise some are just putting up a facade and I got kinda pissed at them so yup...snap..lesser friends now but happier..so having more friends doesnt mean happy yea..
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You choose what you want to do in life.
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Originally posted by Karma88:
Anyway i think most singaporean students life is like that .wake up , school , home , DOTA , sleep .
Next day same thing . LOL
sounds like me lol. other than the doses of bball soccer or gym on alternate days ;p
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Originally posted by justbe:
Hey, thanks for all the replies. I'm a girl BTW. I'm not fat or ugly even though I don't do sports. Maith is right about this topic being self-pwnage and I could definitely use the time to sort out my problems. How I wish I was still having my school break! When I was working, I actually talked to people and almost become friends with them but we didn't have an excuse to meet after the work is done and everybody is back with their own lives!
I don't cycle, go bowling, play pool/DOTA and I guess friendships are formed through such common interests. I used to enjoy being in my own company and I wish I could stay that way but reality has caught up with me and I realise what a weirdo I must look like in the eyes of society doing everything alone....Other than that, I might even seem normal to you until you realise that I've life. >.<
what do you do then in your spare time. tell me im really curious. you could PM me too
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it is true that no one die from loneliness. the people who advise her to find people to go shopping, do sports etc isn't wrong at all. if she is truly happy being a loner, she wouldn't have created this topic.
what the other people suggested are ways she can find or open up to people which she should be doing. so either way, I think all the comments and advices are valid. however, just by saying loneliness don't kill is not helping much.
edit: this is in reply to Student's post
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Originally posted by cApitaland:
what do you do then in your spare time. tell me im really curious. you could PM me too
It's you this kind of people who like to give me mysterious PMs that hint of bedroom romps.
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hmm no motivation in life maybe.. reading may help you to find your passion..
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I can totally understand how u feel, TS.
I was once shy and don't really open up to people, but now I'm more sociable and ppl will naturally come and chat up with me.
If you are an introvert, maybe u should try to initiate a chat with someone u know.
From my experience, if u choose to be a loner and not do any socializing, ppl will tend to leave u alone. Likewise, if u are more sociable, friends will come to u naturally.
So, ganbatte!
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Originally posted by justbe:
Is there anybody who has no life outside school, which also means school is the only place where you can actually socialise with others? Even at school, it's hard to make friends because of the introverted personality. Well, I'm one of the very rare sad cases where I find myself alone and lonely wherever I go. It doesn't help that I don't like the course that I'm taking at school but I'm already into my final year of polytechnic. Every day I go through the motions of waking up, eating and sleeping and even look forward to the same routine(except for school of course) to suppress my anxiety in life. I've absolutely no passion in life whatsoever and I'm finding it increasingly hard to get my work done. Has anybody felt this way?
Hmm.... you said you dislike your course? Then do you know what you want to do in the near future?If you know, it's good because you know what you're doin and where you're goin. Work on that, think of where to go after grad, pursue what you want to do.
If you doesnt, start thinkin already since your graduating soon. Passion is very important in life and if you lack of it, you lack motivation. Because passion drives you.
For eg. "I want to make it big in the xxx industry" (xxx is not sex, whatever job fields you're interested in i mean)
Without passion, life will be boring.
I'm not a loner but from young, I tend to like to approach the loners if i see one in my class because im ALWAYS curious what their mind is thinking bout. Why dont want to talk? What happened? Like exchange some conversations with them. From my experience, some chose to be one (loner), some dont. Maybe im an aquarius, who likes to make friends from all walks of life. But not all loners i met i can relate well because of too much differences involved between us so there isnt anything common to talk bout and some really chose to be alone so yea.I don't cycle, go bowling, play pool/DOTA and I guess friendships are formed through such common interests. I used to enjoy being in my own company and I wish I could stay that way but reality has caught up with me and I realise what a weirdo I must look like in the eyes of society doing everything alone....Other than that, I might even seem normal to you until you realise that I've life. >.<
It's true that friendships are formed through common interests because there are much things to talk bout if a group of people have interest in a particular thing, for eg. similar taste of music genre. I think you should find out what your interests are and from there, try to find friends with similar interests as you. But if you choose to be alone, then it's your problem already. If you doesn't, it's time to break out of your comfort zone and start being initiative, but dont appear to be too desperate.
Life is too short for you to do boring/routine stuffs. Time to explore the world!!
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eat sleep shit pee...i admit i veri lonely at times
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Originally posted by justbe:
Hey, thanks for all the replies. I'm a girl BTW. I'm not fat or ugly even though I don't do sports. Maith is right about this topic being self-pwnage and I could definitely use the time to sort out my problems. How I wish I was still having my school break! When I was working, I actually talked to people and almost become friends with them but we didn't have an excuse to meet after the work is done and everybody is back with their own lives!
I don't cycle, go bowling, play pool/DOTA and I guess friendships are formed through such common interests. I used to enjoy being in my own company and I wish I could stay that way but reality has caught up with me and I realise what a weirdo I must look like in the eyes of society doing everything alone....Other than that, I might even seem normal to you until you realise that I've life. >.<
working in company is difficult to find real frens unless u know them from diff dept... n since u dun like all those activities above u hv to find them thru common interest... go join the outing here oso can... -
I used to be on introvert side but during my school days i was lucky that i had a few good friends to hang up with but maybe it the stress produced by the worked life. It made me understand that socializing skills is really important it helps you to builds up better network in yur life. You need to learn to make the 1st move if you really cun think of a reason to go out witrh yur classmate, you can always ask yur classmate if they would like to join you for a cup of coffee no harm trying. You need not a bunch of friends to brighten up your life then a friend that understand. share some common views with u to brighten up yur life and dun waste yur school life it always the best opportunities granted to know more friends as they can become yur wonderful memories when u get older. No one is asking you to change yur character if you are uncomfortable with it, but ppl need to grow up by leaving their comfort zone.
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same feeling leh.. but everything changed when i try to talk to them.. !!! =X
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Originally posted by cuddles:
it is true that no one die from loneliness. the people who advise her to find people to go shopping, do sports etc isn't wrong at all. if she is truly happy being a loner, she wouldn't have created this topic.
what the other people suggested are ways she can find or open up to people which she should be doing. so either way, I think all the comments and advices are valid. however, just by saying loneliness don't kill is not helping much.
edit: this is in reply to Student's post
You don't ask people to become an extrovert by asking her to find people, she is passive not proactive. More meaningful will be how to make people want to approach her will be better?
Its not helping her much? People need a self fulfilling prophecy or at least not to think she is a weirdo and stuff. Don't take things as it comes, read beyond the lines. In a way, Im asking her to be who she is
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last time i also feel very negative & lonely
but as we grow older that feeling no more around
just be patient & you will grow out of it
even on weekend when not working, i also spend time at home rather than going out cos outside so crowded make u feel even more lonely
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being a loner is the best - i think. cos you can do as many as, anytime you want, without discussing or come to a consensus with abother person. so what are you waiting for? what do you like most? music? dance? nowadays CC offers DJ music mixing courses and Hip Hop, street Funk! [i not advertising for CC, just suggesting. of cos there are many other places offering that too. just do a search on the internet - oschool is cool] so, dont stop worrying if its alright to be a lone or not, go and indulge in your interests
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Originally posted by justbe:
Hey, thanks for all the replies. I'm a girl BTW. I'm not fat or ugly even though I don't do sports. Maith is right about this topic being self-pwnage and I could definitely use the time to sort out my problems. How I wish I was still having my school break! When I was working, I actually talked to people and almost become friends with them but we didn't have an excuse to meet after the work is done and everybody is back with their own lives!
I don't cycle, go bowling, play pool/DOTA and I guess friendships are formed through such common interests. I used to enjoy being in my own company and I wish I could stay that way but reality has caught up with me and I realise what a weirdo I must look like in the eyes of society doing everything alone....Other than that, I might even seem normal to you until you realise that I've life. >.<
you're a girl,sorry about that. But its even more weird,i thought girls always have a group of friends to hang out with?
Anyway u said "we didn't have an excuse to meet after the work is done and everybody is back with their own lives!" and i dont think that is true.
What im trying to say is you need to ask ppl out,dont wait for the other parties to ask. They are probably thinking about the same thing too,like "if got someone ask me to go out with him/her,i will. But if no one ask,then i'll just stay home alone lor"
you should,like what some of the post said,take the first step instead of waiting for others.
U said u're neither fat nor ugly,then dont be afraid! Ask one or two friends out together and just window shop,study or just have fun!
N btw,there's no such thing as friendships are formed through common interests. U dont need friends to have the same interests as you to be friends! Heck it would be even better if u dont have the same interests as ur friends! I mean,u could like share ur hobbies and stuff to them and they can share their interests with u as well!
Ok? :D