Will you date a divorcee...?

• Gosu.

  18 Jun 08, 15:18

  Originally posted by NeverSayGoodBye:

  
  .....will you date a male divorcee? Not uncle, but still quite young...?

  There are a lot of male single parent these days...

  
  I think the reason why divorce is on the rise is because not many actually think about the long term and even less endure through it. Mainly because some people settle down before their state of mind allows it, i.e they are not yet ready to be parenting a kid or lead an attached lifestyle that demands contribution. Thus the phrase 'no-strings-attached'.

  Dating I would like to say is to know the person better and not readily plunge into a serious relationship, that comes later. Firstly, if I was in such a scenario, I would definitely question(once she is comfortable enough) why she had a divorce, the situations and circumstances. Afterwhich it is for you to decide.

• Lefti68

  18 Jun 08, 15:21

  Nowadays, 记仇的人more than 宽容的人 . Tolerance is d big word.

• dragg

  18 Jun 08, 15:23

  if you like him or her enough you wont be bothered by it.

   

   

• Fatum

  18 Jun 08, 15:30

  no kids, yes .....

  got kids ? ....

  only if I get suckered into it .....

   

• SBS7484P

  18 Jun 08, 15:32

  if the kids are cute..

  then again me too young to date

  lol

  sec 3 nia worh

• Gosu.

  18 Jun 08, 15:47

  Originally posted by SBS7484P:

  if the kids are cute..

  then again me too young to date

  lol

  sec 3 nia worh

  
  A sec 3 bus fanatic, I'm sorry, just not a fan of buses.

• Inexperience01

  18 Jun 08, 17:57

  Originally posted by Gosu.:

   

  You obviously are inexperienced as your nick suggests and haven't been in a matured relationship. If your partner is willing to commit as of now and have evidently worked for the relationship; it is sufficient. Surely it will infiltrate the minds once in a while, but instead of avoiding it; it would be better to have a heart-to-heart talk. Firstly to be honest with your past and secondly to reassure his/her dedication to the partner.

   

  When a quarrel occurs, only the immature/woman(for having no more points to argue with - I'm kidding ;D) will bring up the past, which has NO relation to the reason of argument.

   

  Thankfully my girlfriend and I, our angry confrontations often ransom an explanation and that once said is deemed fit enough for forgiveness and understanding.

  
  Ya u r rite, i am really inexperience and must learn from you. Haha hope it is really a heart-to-heart talk. Although i am inexperience but from my experience, i know lairs will never admit lying even the evidence are there. Gd luck and hope you really mean what u say, haha.

• Civilgoh

  18 Jun 08, 18:01

  Originally posted by Ferret:

  Yeah. Kids come free. How fantastic. 

  
  YOu mean buy one get 2 to 3 free?

• KungPaoChicken

  18 Jun 08, 18:30

  I personally dun agree, at the end of the day, its the heart that counts. Unless he is singled by death, I will give the go ahead. Cus in psychology, everyone in every marriage have a definite limit of toleration. If he can get divorced with kids, it simply shows that he have low tolerance.

  Well you may say that perhaps his wife is like a compulsive gambler and he cannot finance her doings and she is spoiling the kids. But instead of being a corrector, he is too powerless to control the situation.

  Cus in courtship, every single Organism in this fucking world will do their best, something like doing your A lvls. Then after that haha different story. Somemore a divorce means that whatever he once had is divided by half to his wife with ailmony somemore. So by marrying him, you are gonna definitely finance part of his overwhelming expenses.

  And furthermore, if his ex-wife returns after 20-30 years, his kids are going to side with their maternal parent. Not you.

  Unless he is a widower, I will just say NO.

• KungPaoChicken

  18 Jun 08, 18:32

  Originally posted by KungPaoChicken:

  I personally dun agree, at the end of the day, its the heart that counts. Unless he is singled by death, I will give the go ahead. Cus in psychology, everyone in every marriage have a definite limit of toleration. If he can get divorced with kids, it simply shows that he have low tolerance.

  Well you may say that perhaps his wife is like a compulsive gambler and he cannot finance her doings and she is spoiling the kids. But instead of being a corrector, he is too powerless to control the situation.

  Cus in courtship, every single Organism in this fucking world will do their best, something like doing your A lvls. Then after that haha different story. Somemore a divorce means that whatever he once had is divided by half to his wife with ailmony somemore. So by marrying him, you are gonna definitely finance part of his overwhelming expenses.

  And furthermore, if his ex-wife returns after 20-30 years, his kids are going to side with their maternal parent. Not you.

  Unless he is a widower, I will just say NO.

  Kids are the final threshold to hold a marriage tgt, if his kids meant nothing, you will mean nothing too if he decides to ask u to fuck off too.

• Ferret

  18 Jun 08, 21:18

  Originally posted by Civilgoh:

  
  YOu mean buy one get 2 to 3 free?

   

  yeah.

  If i rikes the person, means i rikes everything or at least, i will be able to manage. and if kids are part of thr package... well, thats that.

  And i hate kids. so much better if the other half comes with older kids.

   

  hur hur hur

• NeverSayGoodBye

  19 Jun 08, 15:32

  Originally posted by iceFatboy:

  if her 1st priority is her kids, why would she even bother to look for guys?

  I find a female is more sensible in these relationships issues. If she can open up to guys, I believe the lady has given the guy a chance. And for that matter, never a question of priority.

  
  .....obviously someone to care for her while she care for the kids

  .....I believed so, the guy shouldn't be the in-secured type, or else he will be jealous

• NeverSayGoodBye

  19 Jun 08, 15:40

  Originally posted by iceFatboy:

  be it a male/female divorcee, i think U need to evaluate how you feel about him/her? whether U can see your future together.

  With kids, things will get interesting in that,now, U got a few more people in ur r/s. Are U ready for them?

  I feel alot of people getting into these r/s are also worried about the stigma of "step" where in the past, people associate "step-" with torture, abuse. (step means step dad or step mum).

  Now, people I feel are more ready to accept based on fact, they are more sensible & educated.

   

  .....yeah with kids, it is much tougher, not only you need to win the woman's/man's heart but also the kids. One kid still okay, imagine three or four

  The word "stepmother or father" is acceptable in society nowsaday, with so many divorces and second marriage, chances of hooking up with a divorcee is pretty high

• NeverSayGoodBye

  19 Jun 08, 15:54

  Originally posted by jojobeach:

  Will you date a divorcee with kids.

  And she also tells you she no longer wants anymore kids ?

  That means if you marry her.. you will be a stepfather.

  
  .....I don't mind if she have me in her heart, hopefully she will love me more when she saw me make an effort to be closed to her kids. Also must depend whether she is having custody of the kids.

  .....this is tricky, need to talk further

  ..... The "step" word is no longer a stigma, people are open minded these days. I certainly don't mind. I'd rather her kids just treat me as a friend if they are not under her custody.

  Anyway, dating a divorcee with kids is not easy, you gotta win more than one heart and soul

• NeverSayGoodBye

  19 Jun 08, 15:55

  Originally posted by nehpyh:

  OMG....dating someone only think until like that?!!

   

  Why, you are a saint har?

   

  Not worth it la...for the ger to consider you!

  
  .....you drunk ahhh?!

• ChiBet

  19 Jun 08, 15:55

  only if the divorcee is a virgin

• NeverSayGoodBye

  19 Jun 08, 15:56

  Originally posted by mistyblue:

  date only. Don't think so far unless thedate/you had hinted you want to go long term. Then its something else.

  
  .....what is the "something else"?

• NeverSayGoodBye

  19 Jun 08, 15:57

  Originally posted by gasband:

  if that divorcee is Diana Ser, i would not mind. In fact, who minds?

  
  .....I gave you Pamela Anderson

• NeverSayGoodBye

  19 Jun 08, 15:59

  Originally posted by fairlady_xoxo:

  Dating is ok...unless you are looking forward to marrying him/her then its another thing...

  
  .....will you marry a male divorcee with kids?

• NeverSayGoodBye

  19 Jun 08, 16:01

  Originally posted by Inexperience01:

  
  A gal who is not married but has had many relationships versus a gal who only had sex experience with her one n only husband, which one will you accept? I just don't understand is it signing of that piece of paper so important. To me, it is still doing 'that thing in bed'. So what you actually mind about a divorcee? Can enlighten me?

  .....so you're marrying for sex only?

• NeverSayGoodBye

  19 Jun 08, 16:02

  Originally posted by Lefti68:

  If u like her, u shld not mind her past as long as she remains true n faithful 2 u now & 4ever.

  Yesterday is history.

  Tomorrow is a mystery.

  Today is a gift.

  

  
  

• NeverSayGoodBye

  19 Jun 08, 16:06

  Originally posted by Gosu.:

  Good question posted here, I guess this is situational - whether you love her more than she loves you or vice versa; but definitely her kids would be a factor when considering a re-marriage.

   

  .....what does the kids' priority got to do with the loving you more or less? I guessed you gotta marry her kids too, no other way
• nehpyh

  19 Jun 08, 16:10

  Originally posted by NeverSayGoodBye:

  
  .....you drunk ahhh?!

  Well actually I was being condescending....

   

  But I would apologise for that :)

• NeverSayGoodBye

  19 Jun 08, 16:13

  Originally posted by nehpyh:

  Well actually I was being condescending....

   

  But I would apologise for that :)

  
  Accepted!

• jojobeach

  20 Jun 08, 02:34

  Originally posted by NeverSayGoodBye:

  
  .....I don't mind if she have me in her heart, hopefully she will love me more when she saw me make an effort to be closed to her kids. Also must depend whether she is having custody of the kids.

  .....this is tricky, need to talk further

  ..... The "step" word is no longer a stigma, people are open minded these days. I certainly don't mind. I'd rather her kids just treat me as a friend if they are not under her custody.

  Anyway, dating a divorcee with kids is not easy, you gotta win more than one heart and soul

  So will you continue the relationship if she gave you her heart. But the kids don't get along with you ?

  If you marry her.. will you keep the mother and send the kids off somewhere else ?