im missing him quite badly but....
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no. dont use him as a life bouy thanks.
in that process, he might save u from isolation, but u will be the cause of his demise.
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It's just an infatuation. It will come to pass.
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as long as he is not married
u stand a chance
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Originally posted by ghast.:
I've known this friend of mine for almost 9 years now. We haven't exactly been close friends until by chance recently after we had a couple of drinks tgt and chatted more. It was then I realized, I have developed some sort of feeling for him. I want to see him more. I want to hear his calls. I want to see his sms.
But he has a girlfriend. I don't know the details but they seem to be on a stable platform, together for 4 years and 9 months. He talks to me about her and share the problems that he face when sometimes she gets too busy for him as she's a doctor. Sometimes i feel quite bitter about it.
I have quite a couple of failed relationships and I doubt I am ready to enter another one. But still I feel attracted to him. I'm missing him already though we only met up for a chat yesterday during his lunch hour.
Should I go ahead and try to get to know him better? I feel like a 3rd party if I get too close to him. But when he shares his problems, I feel sad for him because he seems to be putting lots of time and effort into her, waiting for her. What should I do?
Girl,
Perhaps you are just jealous his girlfriend has such a devoted man.
And so you want him for yourself.
When he tells you his relationship problem, he's really hoping to get some insight into the minds of a female.
Because a man can never truly understand how a girl thinks and react. You as a female may give some good pointers for him to improve his relationship with his girlfriend.
Don't hold your breath for him.
When you take him away from her, your relationship will be overshadow by lack of trust.
Because you will start wondering if another woman will try to take your man away from you.
If being friend is too difficult or painful for you. Take a break from this friendship until you found yourself another man.
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Originally posted by gunner77:
as long as he is not married
u stand a chance
nowadays so long as the other party not dead still got chance liaoz..but for the TS..its infatuation...step back and see clearly first. -
U only develop some feelings for him in some drink session after 9 years. Well, this shows tat liking is really poisson.
The bad news is :-
When feeling comes, feeling comes. When feeling dont come, u just have to wait...
The good news is :-
If u can develop feelings for some1 after 9 years, it means that u may develop feelings for any guy that u have met. It is just a matter of time...
But after years, I have come to realise also that :-
When feeling is going to die, it will die. When feeling is not going to die, u just hope it last. So, a relationship based on feelings is not enough 1... Sometimes, u need logic...
Assuming if your friend that u liked, break away with his gf of 4 yrs and be with u for some so-so reasons. He may one day also just break with u after a few years and be with another girl for some so-so reasons too... Hence, sometimes,
喜欢是�需�拥有的
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dun be 3rd party la.
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Originally posted by playboy_1985:
dun be 3rd party la.
ya, dun be a 3rd party, instead you should open a couple party, invite he and his gf, reconcile them, and make them love each other more and more. Then after the party, bless them forever love.Do the good and you shall find your own good
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Originally posted by ghast.:
I suppose being a 3rd party won't make me any happier. But why don't guys ever seem to know that the closer they get to a girl, the higher chance the girl will tend to fall for him.
u sure not. it may be the opposite to some girls also ya know. -
Originally posted by ghast.:
I suppose being a 3rd party won't make me any happier. But why don't guys ever seem to know that the closer they get to a girl, the higher chance the girl will tend to fall for him.
hmm.. my honest opinion.. don't do it.
until they broke up, then do it. it's a matter of honour and self worth.
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Originally posted by ghast.:
I suppose being a 3rd party won't make me any happier. But why don't guys ever seem to know that the closer they get to a girl, the higher chance the girl will tend to fall for him.
Lol... this reminds me of a news that a muslim cleric blame rapes on females who wear revealing clothles...
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Originally posted by ispyyy:
Lol... this reminds me of a news that a muslim cleric blame rapes on females who wear revealing clothles...
Blaming the person who is oblivious...
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Hmmm...if you're really going through with this...have you ever considered if there's a possibility the guy will give up this girl and be with you?
Think wisely...
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Just go.. u happy , everyone also happy
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go ahead with ur heart. dont live with regrets.
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Its not a good situations to get yourself into....
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Simply because its one sided. You might lose a friend.
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wait a bit more..
when their relationship is on the rocks, counsel him, give him advice..
and just hope it works, bless them with a happy r/s.
ive done this before.. and somehow i kinda feels better after i did that.
but in the end if all else fails, you may try making a move on him but not that soon. give him some time to pick himself up from the fall
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very bad situation to get into. stop torturing yourself and don't mess with the couple.
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At this stage, just enjoy the friendship and don't get involved. If you become the cause of their breakup, it's bad karma and that's a pretty lousy foundation to build a new relationship on.
Even if he ends up breaking up with his girlfriend, do not jump into a relationship with him because you will just end up being a rebound relationship and we all know those usually do not last.
Basically, he trusts you enough to chat with you openly about his relationship problems. Do not abuse his trust and start plotting how to get closer to him and/or make him realise that he should leave his girlfriend. Things gained out of ill-will usually do not come to a good ending.
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pls dun break up r/s.
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I think....you should try to reduce ur meetings with him....otherwise it is difficult for u....
I think since he already have a GF, his meetings with u and chatting with u, is just as friends.....maybe also subconsciously he like ur company not as a simple straightforward friend, but as a woman friend, or close woman friend. But that is still very different with GF. Do you understand what I mean?
If you try to do some things......or admit ur feelings.....that will put him in an uneasy situation...maybe also he will be surprised, confused and reject u....and then u ruin ur friendship......
The easiest way for now...since u urself are confused....is to take a break....lessen ur frequency of meetings with him.....coz now u cannot control ur emotions.....reduce ur meetings.....
Meat Pao.