im missing him quite badly but....

• ghast.

  23 Jun 08, 20:36

  -edit-

• Yunhaier

  24 Jun 08, 00:32

  Originally posted by ghast.:

  Thanks for waking me up. He has been calling me even more often now but i think i get it, if i enter as a 3rd party, I really wouldn't feel good about the relationship. Besides, I just caught some news that they are getting engaged. I believe it is time to congratulate them sincerely.

  Thanks for all your help.

  His woman is not available and since you are there, the substitute is apparent.

  His emotional dependency is beginning to shift because there seemed to be more stability outside his relationship.

  Well, his calls getting more isn't it?

  It's not so much about you being the 3rd party - possibly more of him needing you to get out of his current status quo.

  Think about it.

  Cheers

• mistyblue

  24 Jun 08, 08:51

  Originally posted by ghast.:

  Thanks for waking me up. He has been calling me even more often now but i think i get it, if i enter as a 3rd party, I really wouldn't feel good about the relationship. Besides, I just caught some news that they are getting engaged. I believe it is time to congratulate them sincerely.

  Thanks for all your help.

  I hope you find someone who will love you very much. You deserve it.  Its a tough position to be in your shoes but I am glad for you for being there for a friend. Its not as easy as you make it sound.

• angel7030

  24 Jun 08, 09:45

  Originally posted by ghast.:

  Thanks for waking me up. He has been calling me even more often now but i think i get it, if i enter as a 3rd party, I really wouldn't feel good about the relationship. Besides, I just caught some news that they are getting engaged. I believe it is time to congratulate them sincerely.

  Thanks for all your help.

  
  We are still sleeping, how to wake you up, you should be the one waking us up ya. Now that you had woke up, open your eyes and get enlighted, please dun do it again and go to sleep ya, next time, call me, we go party togather, i got lots of single top career uncles you can choose from, dun be a 3rd party, its a slut party.

• RedizAlertz

  24 Jun 08, 10:12

  Gettin to know the person more is not being a 3rd party.

  U can still get to know him better without havin him to divert his focus on his gf, now a fiancee - if only u know how to do it.  It's a human nature to b near / with someone that we like.  Just dun spend too much time with him, draw ur lines.  It's hard initially, but eventually, the feelin will ceased. 

  Dun hav to force urself to listen to his woes abt his gf, it wll onli make u worst.  It'll make u magnify her faults, thinking tat u r so much better than her & u shld b the one by his side instead of her.  Those are all misconceptions.  All guys hav problems with their gfs & vice versa.  Probably those are onli minor problems, but when he complains, those problems seem major, which are in fact, diminished after he has let them out.

  Love him if u must - but do so purely as a fren.

• ordinaryguy32

  26 Jun 08, 15:46

  Originally posted by ghast.:

  Thanks for waking me up. He has been calling me even more often now but i think i get it, if i enter as a 3rd party, I really wouldn't feel good about the relationship. Besides, I just caught some news that they are getting engaged. I believe it is time to congratulate them sincerely.

  Thanks for all your help.

  
  I'm glad you thought it through.

  From a guy's point of view, I think guys sometimes like to have other female friends as soulmates because the additional perspective is refreshing and the companionship is rejuvenating, particularly if, like Yunhaier said, their gf/wives have left a void there.

  Unfortunately, establishing such an emotional connection is the first step to generating sparks (not the National Day type) both ways.

  It's the same the other way, a girl confiding in another guy her r/s problems.

  It's up to the involving parties's responsibility to manage these connections. (Like you have just did, superbly).

  If one cannot manage, it's better to sever the connections.

  In my humble opinion, there is no such thing as a truly platonic close friendship (at all times from beginning to end) between the opposite sexes.  Romantic feelings are/were sure to have developed one way/both ways at one point of time or another. Very often these romantic feelings are fleeting, and once that romantic feeling is gone, the status of that "platonic close friendship" would have taken a plummeting.

   

• 00king00

  27 Jun 08, 22:43

  juz be a fren first

• ghast.

  28 Jun 08, 12:03

  -edit-