Falling in Love with someone you shouldn't
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Nothing can describe the guilt and hurt u harbor in your heart when you know what you're doing is wrong... I'm in love with my best friend's boyfriend....
I made a wrong choice of accepting his invitation for dinner one night and it went beyond tat... i've been regreting ever since..
Yet what i felt for him is strong...
I'm playing with fire i noe.. betraying my friend...
I'll be paying for the consequenses... that's what happened when you fall in love with someone you shouldn't -
Run out from the fire, amico. -
Hey wat about him? does he feels the same way for u too?
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if he can do this behind ur best fren's back
he's not worth ur love
falling into a wrong r/s is already wrong
stepping further into it, is wrong
seriously
he can do this to ur best fren, he can do the same to u -
I guess it might be purely physical for him...
When it first started.. i didn't want to think or ponder abt the situation.. cause e guilt intensifies..
Now.. i'm afraid to ask..
Watever he answers..a yes or a no.. nothing good will come out of it..
God noes how many times a day i argue with myself over what a fool i am..
My mind comes up with all the logics and points... that i should end all this with all haste before somebody gets really hurt..
Yet my heart are doing the opposite..
I think the worse would be when i'm out with them acting like everything is normal when i feel like i'm dying inside.. -
Evil is seducing...Originally posted by Dallas:Nothing can describe the guilt and hurt u harbor in your heart when you know what you're doing is wrong... I'm in love with my best friend's boyfriend....
I made a wrong choice of accepting his invitation for dinner one night and it went beyond tat... i've been regreting ever since..
Yet what i felt for him is strong...
I'm playing with fire i noe.. betraying my friend...
I'll be paying for the consequenses... that's what happened when you fall in love with someone you shouldn't
Evil is alluring...
Evil is... irresistable...
Regardless, Let me analysis and sort you out bah
Accepting invitation to your best friend's boyfriend is really nothing -just that the *CRITICAL ISSUE* is your temptation and your own personal craving of him. Anyone could have dinner with anyone's bf/gf, with a clear idea that the dinner is just a dinner between friends - you think beyond that - you are gone.
You said gone beyond that - I presume something, sexual, must have happen, thats why you felt so gulity over it. I never knew of the situation between the three of you, but allow me to ask some question here, so that you could analysis yourself. You don't have to answer me.
I) Relationship between your friendship and bf is good? You *sure* he is not using you as an excuse to break with her later?
II) He does that to do, he could do that to any *other* girl.
III) Prior before this, I presume he had send you mixed signal for you to fall into love - he succeeded in this attempt the first once - he knows he will succeeded in all attempt.
From the III point, what could you derive? He SENSE your weakness - which is the liking for him.
Analogy
'He tested the beast - the beast moves back, but never bites. He knows the beast is afraid; he advance and the beast retreats... until it is cornered and surrenders itself.'
What's the beast? - Your feeling and liking for him. Its prefectly alright to to like or love anyone you want - but it is essential to learn and realise which liking or love could destroy or harm you instead. He is devious and clever by this 'First Strike' strategy which made you go instantly 'blind' to your doings.
What do I mean by 'First Strike'? Woman being more emotional creatures goes blinded when quick advances is being made with overflowing emotions. You don't know what you are doing because you can't 'see' momentarily.
Now you regret, you have to stop all these from happening again.
*DO NOT*
... See him or let him see you - you need this break to clear from the spell he had cast onto you. Rather to make mistake again, take this time to recover and do nothing - doing nothing and avoid will at least stop your emotions from overflowing again.
... call him or answer his call. Voices stimulates the mind and basically does the same thing.
... ICQ/IRC/SMS Virtual words are collected in your unconscious - which will affect you without you realising.
Remember: TWO WRONG DOES NOT MAKE ONE RIGHT.
Prays -
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learn cook curry from me...i bet u can forgt him
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I think your neutral friend likes this ger. How could he ask you to forget about her and say bad things about her. and at the same time treatig her as a special friend. something is wrong..Originally posted by minto:hi... i am actually in a same dilemma with you... but for me.. I have fallen in love with a friend's gf... and she too fell for me... she was already thinking of breaking off with her bf before we got to know each other... but she still can't let go at all. So I'm still waiting... and now come the confusion. We have a mutual friend who knows abt it. And he claims to be neutral and helping me to be with her.
However, things changes. He keep advising me to give her up... saying all sorta bad comments about her. But behind me, he keep msging her and treating her like a "special fren"... and told her to give up on her current bf... but yet want me not to accept her when she choose me....
So what do you think this neutral friend is doing? And for your info, he is married. -
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Wat would happen ????Originally posted by Dallas:Nothing can describe the guilt and hurt u harbor in your heart when you know what you're doing is wrong... I'm in love with my best friend's boyfriend....
I made a wrong choice of accepting his invitation for dinner one night and it went beyond tat... i've been regreting ever since..
Yet what i felt for him is strong...
I'm playing with fire i noe.. betraying my friend...
I'll be paying for the consequenses... that's what happened when you fall in love with someone you shouldn't
ur friend .. would feel betray ... maybe not only by u ... but oso fr the guy oso .. ... she would feel hurt .. hate .. anger .. depression..
then maybe she may feel that she wanner cry .. but oso cannot cry it out ... u may lose this friend forever ... if not, u and ur friend friendship sure to ture sour! ...
So at this point .. do u think that ur friend is imp .. or the guy is imp ??
let ur legs land on ur friend shoes, does it feel hurts?
Will the guy changes his feelings towards u .. after time ?
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hi.. thanks for your advise.. really do appreaciate it.Originally posted by Yunhaier:Evil is seducing...
Evil is alluring...
Evil is... irresistable...
Regardless, Let me analysis and sort you out bah
Accepting invitation to your best friend's boyfriend is really nothing -just that the *CRITICAL ISSUE* is your temptation and your own personal craving of him. Anyone could have dinner with anyone's bf/gf, with a clear idea that the dinner is just a dinner between friends - you think beyond that - you are gone.
You said gone beyond that - I presume something, sexual, must have happen, thats why you felt so gulity over it. I never knew of the situation between the three of you, but allow me to ask some question here, so that you could analysis yourself. You don't have to answer me.
I) Relationship between your friendship and bf is good? You *sure* he is not using you as an excuse to break with her later?
II) He does that to do, he could do that to any *other* girl.
III) Prior before this, I presume he had send you mixed signal for you to fall into love - he succeeded in this attempt the first once - he knows he will succeeded in all attempt.
From the III point, what could you derive? He SENSE your weakness - which is the liking for him.
Analogy
'He tested the beast - the beast moves back, but never bites. He knows the beast is afraid; he advance and the beast retreats... until it is cornered and surrenders itself.'
What's the beast? - Your feeling and liking for him. Its prefectly alright to to like or love anyone you want - but it is essential to learn and realise which liking or love could destroy or harm you instead. He is devious and clever by this 'First Strike' strategy which made you go instantly 'blind' to your doings.
What do I mean by 'First Strike'? Woman being more emotional creatures goes blinded when quick advances is being made with overflowing emotions. You don't know what you are doing because you can't 'see' momentarily.
Now you regret, you have to stop all these from happening again.
*DO NOT*
... See him or let him see you - you need this break to clear from the spell he had cast onto you. Rather to make mistake again, take this time to recover and do nothing - doing nothing and avoid will at least stop your emotions from overflowing again.
... call him or answer his call. Voices stimulates the mind and basically does the same thing.
... ICQ/IRC/SMS Virtual words are collected in your unconscious - which will affect you without you realising.
Remember: TWO WRONG DOES NOT MAKE ONE RIGHT.
Prays
I've always prided myself being a very level headed and logical person when it comes to matters of the hearts. Guess that wasn't the case..
Logically, what u said made perfect sense... if i were the outsider and not involve in this.. it would most probably be what i'd said too..
My eyes are being blinded by my heart though..
You were probably right in saying that he might possibly be using me.. their relationship have not exactly been a bed of roses lately.. and yes.. i do know that if he could do this behind my friend, he'll probably do it behind me too.. this is my mind speaking. But my heart refuse to listen to reason...
Am i making excuses for myself? I probably am... but how can you let go when your heart keeps screaming to you again and again that you shouldn't give it up.. that you must not give it up?
What i'm saying is that sometimes things are easier said than done...
Nevertheless, i do know that this can't carry on, for whatever reason and excuses i can make up, he isn't mine to hold on to. If i were to say that i love him, then my friend's love for him would be ten times more.. If she were ever to find out.. i'll definitely lose this friendship.. she'll never forgive me... and that's definitely not what i want..
Bottom line is, i do know what i am suppose to do.. the question is how do i pull myself out of this pit of misery that i've so willingly stepped into? -
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Glad that you are able to sort out your feelings... At least somebody benefitted frm all this... I'm still trying to sort out mine..Originally posted by minto:Dallas... dun wori... I have now cleared up my thoughts ... in actual fact for my case... I was too blinded by love... and got cheated by the gal... nearly fell out with my good friends... but now I have known the full truth... and I have made a clean break...
Guess i need more time... -
yes u r in wrong but then the bf oso got fault lor. . .Originally posted by Dallas:Nothing can describe the guilt and hurt u harbor in your heart when you know what you're doing is wrong... I'm in love with my best friend's boyfriend....
I made a wrong choice of accepting his invitation for dinner one night and it went beyond tat... i've been regreting ever since..
Yet what i felt for him is strong...
I'm playing with fire i noe.. betraying my friend...
I'll be paying for the consequenses... that's what happened when you fall in love with someone you shouldn't
but then u think abt u reli luv him or juz temp like nia?
u muz tin is he worth risk a frenship?
will he did the same tin to u if u wif him? -
dat y they said luv is blind. . . u knw it wrong u knw all tis yet u still do it coz it hard 4 u coz ur heart 1 2 b wif him. . .Originally posted by Dallas:I guess it might be purely physical for him...
When it first started.. i didn't want to think or ponder abt the situation.. cause e guilt intensifies..
Now.. i'm afraid to ask..
Watever he answers..a yes or a no.. nothing good will come out of it..
God noes how many times a day i argue with myself over what a fool i am..
My mind comes up with all the logics and points... that i should end all this with all haste before somebody gets really hurt..
Yet my heart are doing the opposite..
I think the worse would be when i'm out with them acting like everything is normal when i feel like i'm dying inside..
but u muz face the truth it the hardest part but once u r able to, the rest will b more easier. . .it tk time -
yes u say u like her & she like u but y ain't her letting go? u wnaa knw the reason? i v direct pls pardon me.Originally posted by minto:hi... i am actually in a same dilemma with you... but for me.. I have fallen in love with a friend's gf... and she too fell for me... she was already thinking of breaking off with her bf before we got to know each other... but she still can't let go at all. So I'm still waiting... and now come the confusion. We have a mutual friend who knows abt it. And he claims to be neutral and helping me to be with her.
However, things changes. He keep advising me to give her up... saying all sorta bad comments about her. But behind me, he keep msging her and treating her like a "special fren"... and told her to give up on her current bf... but yet want me not to accept her when she choose me....
So what do you think this neutral friend is doing? And for your info, he is married.
coz the reason v simple she luv her bf more than u. . .yes she might luv u too but then the luv she hv 4 u is nutin compared to her current bf dat y she cannot let go. . . -
You want to pull yourself put of this shit - you could only do it with the hell of *YOURSELF* You have to do this and I am repeating it here againOriginally posted by Dallas:hi.. thanks for your advise.. really do appreaciate it.
I've always prided myself being a very level headed and logical person when it comes to matters of the hearts. Guess that wasn't the case..
Logically, what u said made perfect sense... if i were the outsider and not involve in this.. it would most probably be what i'd said too..
My eyes are being blinded by my heart though..
You were probably right in saying that he might possibly be using me.. their relationship have not exactly been a bed of roses lately.. and yes.. i do know that if he could do this behind my friend, he'll probably do it behind me too.. this is my mind speaking. But my heart refuse to listen to reason...
Am i making excuses for myself? I probably am... but how can you let go when your heart keeps screaming to you again and again that you shouldn't give it up.. that you must not give it up?
What i'm saying is that sometimes things are easier said than done...
Nevertheless, i do know that this can't carry on, for whatever reason and excuses i can make up, he isn't mine to hold on to. If i were to say that i love him, then my friend's love for him would be ten times more.. If she were ever to find out.. i'll definitely lose this friendship.. she'll never forgive me... and that's definitely not what i want..
Bottom line is, i do know what i am suppose to do.. the question is how do i pull myself out of this pit of misery that i've so willingly stepped into?
DO NOT*
... See him or let him see you - you need this break to clear from the spell he had cast onto you. Rather to make mistake again, take this time to recover and do nothing - doing nothing and avoid will at least stop your emotions from overflowing again.
... call him or answer his call. Voices stimulates the mind and basically does the same thing.
... ICQ/IRC/SMS Virtual words are collected in your unconscious - which will affect you without you realising.
Avoid see his images or situation that would make your heart longs for him. Do something else. I know its painful at first - but you *need* the first step before you could walk a mile.
Phrase of the day: 'Many could make right decisions in their wrong choice to corrects it - they only wasted precious time and in the end finds it too late to do anything.'
If you need a goal or something - let me give you this time period as a default - 3 months. Do what I told you for three months and post back into here. Don't worry - I *know* you are an intelligent lady and you could handle it. Just pray for strength and wisdom to guide you through.
Cheers. -
I really do wish that this is temporary... then maybe i dun have to go thru all this agony...Originally posted by Si|verGer:yes u r in wrong but then the bf oso got fault lor. . .
but then u think abt u reli luv him or juz temp like nia?
u muz tin is he worth risk a frenship?
will he did the same tin to u if u wif him?
Is he worth the friendship over a person i call sister? I'd say no..
I guess it's more the case where u know that you have already done the wrong thing, yet while justifying it, hoping a miracle will happen so that all 3 of us will be happy... I'm being selfish i guess... not entirely willing to burden all the pain myself....
thanks for your support anyway.. i do know it takes time.. juz wish that it doesn't hurt so much..... -
You're rite if course... now it just up to me whether i'll be able to do it i guess...Originally posted by Yunhaier:You want to pull yourself put of this shit - you could only do it with the hell of *YOURSELF* You have to do this and I am repeating it here again
DO NOT*
... See him or let him see you - you need this break to clear from the spell he had cast onto you. Rather to make mistake again, take this time to recover and do nothing - doing nothing and avoid will at least stop your emotions from overflowing again.
... call him or answer his call. Voices stimulates the mind and basically does the same thing.
... ICQ/IRC/SMS Virtual words are collected in your unconscious - which will affect you without you realising.
Avoid see his images or situation that would make your heart longs for him. Do something else. I know its painful at first - but you *need* the first step before you could walk a mile.
Phrase of the day: 'Many could make right decisions in their wrong choice to corrects it - they only wasted precious time and in the end finds it too late to do anything.'
If you need a goal or something - let me give you this time period as a default - 3 months. Do what I told you for three months and post back into here. Don't worry - I *know* you are an intelligent lady and you could handle it. Just pray for strength and wisdom to guide you through.
Cheers.
Will take your advise into mind... but avoiding him totally will be difficult.. especially when he's your best fren's guy...
But try i will...
After all, this is an 'intelligent lady' you're looking at...
rgrds. -
It circumstances makes it that you met him by chance, so be it - be yourself even in his presense. If not, keep minimum contact without be adviasble.Originally posted by Dallas:You're rite if course... now it just up to me whether i'll be able to do it i guess...
Will take your advise into mind... but avoiding him totally will be difficult.. especially when he's your best fren's guy...
But try i will...
After all, this is an 'intelligent lady' you're looking at...
rgrds.
Any complication or further updates of your situations, you could post it here or private msg me. Take care.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Si|verGer:yes u r in wrong but then the bf oso got fault lor. . .
but then u think abt u reli luv him or juz temp like nia?
u muz tin is he worth risk a frenship?
will he did the same tin to u if u wif him?
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Wish as you may, sometimes equations just don't work out to be so mathematically wonderful especially when it comes to relationship and matters of the heart.... If 'best' don't fit in, try to settle for the 'better'....Originally posted by Dallas:I really do wish that this is temporary... then maybe i dun have to go thru all this agony...
Is he worth the friendship over a person i call sister? I'd say no..
I guess it's more the case where u know that you have already done the wrong thing, yet while justifying it, hoping a miracle will happen so that all 3 of us will be happy... I'm being selfish i guess... not entirely willing to burden all the pain myself....
thanks for your support anyway.. i do know it takes time.. juz wish that it doesn't hurt so much.....
Logics might not work for you here...? All that logic can do, you've most probably got it worked out.... But afterall you're just a human, don't push it too hard on yourself....
Perhaps you don't even have to try too hard to dismiss him from your mind.... Probably because he's not even as wonderful as he seems to be.... You see him standing in front on you... because he's on your mind.... You shaped him.... So volatile.... Exist, just because you gave him 'life'..... Your Life could be SO REAL.... If you simply stop living on this tiny part of your mind.... This dream of yours and illusion..... Perhaps its time.... To wake up....? What happened cannot be reversed.... But your future....? ~Wake up....? -
i ever fell in love wif someone who is attached...
it was tough.. it aint easy.. imagine.. he wont be able to spend time wif ya esp during festi seasons....
i left him after 8 months long of endless race...
but now.. we are very gd frds.. still contacting.. still going out fer dinner and pool...