Dealing with a possesive gf

• kendoboi

  27 Jul 08, 23:32

  Firstly, how come the threadstarter seems to know so much? Is it you or your friend? Because it's seems like something so private, you even know about it. It seems that your friend is really close with you. No offence here.

  Anyway, the situation you mention is really one of a kind. Not something i even chanced upon before. Never knew a girl can be that 'desperate' to this extent but whatever the case, she certainly has gone overbroad. The only thing she lacked is understand. If only she understands that your friend's intention and does what she should, then seriously, nothing of those sort would have happen.

  Whereas on the other hand, your friend should have taken a step to find out all these problems she's having. To me, i find it quite ridiculous of a guy to just break off with a person whom he loves or once loved because of a mistakes the girl commit and forget about the thought that he had once or on many occasions did 'something' with her. No matter what, it's not easy for the girl that's for sure... 

• Pitot

  27 Jul 08, 23:34

  I know so much becos i know both parties. No its not me.

  How to continue when you feel threatened and you cannot take this kinda behaviour?

• kendoboi

  27 Jul 08, 23:36

  I'm not asking your friend to continue in this relationship, but he still loves the girl, perhaps he should try helping her, even though he doesn't wish to continue in this relationship.

• Pitot

  27 Jul 08, 23:36

  how to help?

• kendoboi

  27 Jul 08, 23:38

  Talk to her parents? Find a counsellor for her? Advice her? Seek her friend's help as well?

• Pitot

  27 Jul 08, 23:40

  It is difficult to do so since he family has some real problems.

  And it is always difficult to do so with his position. Her friends all same pattern one la.

  look at the previous posts by some of the forumers, all very valid points.

• Beautiful951

  27 Jul 08, 23:40

  Well, I think that it is more advisable to marry her. She is probably feeling insecure.

• Pitot

  27 Jul 08, 23:41

   

• kendoboi

  27 Jul 08, 23:45

  Originally posted by Beautiful951:

  Well, I think that it is more advisable to marry her. She is probably feeling insecure.

  
  Well, if he were to ask him to marry her, it might be worse. All because she's going to gain more control over him. Well, it's all down to how well and controlled she is and how she's feeling. Right now, perhaps she's just isn't at the right state of mind

• kendoboi

  27 Jul 08, 23:46

  Originally posted by Pitot:

  It is difficult to do so since he family has some real problems.

  And it is always difficult to do so with his position. Her friends all same pattern one la.

  look at the previous posts by some of the forumers, all very valid points.

  Hmm, i didn't read previous post because i only intended to give my own opinions. Anyway, i just hope that he do try, if not, troubles is going to be endless

• wonderamazement

  27 Jul 08, 23:47

  that girl has some insecurity issues man.

• Beautiful951

  27 Jul 08, 23:47

  Originally posted by kendoboi:

  
  Well, if he were to ask him to marry her, it might be worse. All because she's going to gain more control over him. Well, it's all down to how well and controlled she is and how she's feeling. Right now, perhaps she's just isn't at the right state of mind

  If so, then maybe they should think about that before doing the dirty deed.

• Pitot

  27 Jul 08, 23:48

  Originally posted by kendoboi:

  Hmm, i didn't read previous post because i only intended to give my own opinions. Anyway, i just hope that he do try, if not, troubles is going to be endless

  dont worry, i understand.

  sometimes, the shit hits the fan.

• parn

  28 Jul 08, 00:18

  Originally posted by rainee:

  I'm a girl and yet I think you are really naive to make the generalization that "no girls want to have sex before marriage".

  There are girls out there who offer herself to the guys just to satisfy the sexual urges in her (yes, girls have them too, we are humans as well). If both parties are consenting and adults, then that's their own business. It is nobody's fault, be it the girl or the guy.

  And yes I agree this issue is for discussion in another thread. This thread is about the girlfriend being possesive and not about how she feels regarding sex.

  You will need to follow the thread first and understand why the topic was extended into this discussion first before telling me that my posts are invalid to this topic.

  I do not agree with the TS that his friend is the victim in his current situation. And I believed that if TS's friend refused to agree to have sex before marriage, he wouldn't have gotten himself into his current situation.

  Do remember that TS is sharing the story about his friend, and I believed the story is being told to the advantage of TS's friend. So it is always wise to use your own discretion and advise.

  If you only choose to listen to the one-sided story posted by TS, then you are truly naive to hold onto that story as the truth to judge the entire situation.

  People with discretion will seek and question the truth behind every story, and people without it are just naive and easily swayed into giving blind advices.

  You are a girl and you telling me that TS's friend girlfriend is really behaving in this manner for no reason?

  Do you really think that if TS's friend were really innocent and didn't do anything wrong that led to his current situation, would TS even need to seek further advice from here?

  Guilty...and only people with guilty conscience would need to seek further advice to get themselves out of their dilemma. People with clear conscience won't even need to think thrice about taking appropriate actions to resolve this matter as soon as possible.

  If I'm moderator, I will locked this dishonest thread from the beginning. The intentions from posting this topic was already wrong from the beginning, if you can realised you have been misled to believe the details as the truth.

  And what makes you think you can come in and correct me when you did not even tried to analyse the situation genuinely and offers half-hearted advice to TS?

  So do you think you did your best in your post to help TS....or yourself?

   

• Beautiful951

  28 Jul 08, 00:20

  Originally posted by parn:

   

  If I'm moderator, I will locked this dishonest thread from the beginning.

  lucky you are not a mod

  Although I agree that the guy is at fault too. I agree that if the guy do not do such things before marriage, things would not grow to such an extent.

  But I do think thats there is a reason to allow this thread to continue. A mod has the power to lock a thread and it should be used well. Closing a thread because you don't like it is not being fair.

• parn

  28 Jul 08, 00:25

  Originally posted by Beautiful951:

  lucky you are not.

  neither are you.

• Beautiful951

  28 Jul 08, 00:27

  Originally posted by parn:

  neither are you.

  
  Glad we agree.

• parn

  28 Jul 08, 00:38

  Originally posted by Beautiful951:

  lucky you are not a mod

  Although I agree that the guy is at fault too. I agree that if the guy do not do such things before marriage, things would not grow to such an extent.

  But I do think thats there is a reason to allow this thread to continue. A mod has the power to lock a thread and it should be used well. Closing a thread because you don't like it is not being fair.

  Really? You really think the guy is at fault too?

  Then please share from your perspective what kind of other faults did the guy commit?

  How would you rate the guy in terms of being a boyfriend? Would you have done better than him? What would you have done in his place?

  I didn't read anyone mentioning about the faults the guy did, and Ohh...maybe it's because I have been reading too many blind advices in the thread?

  Of course there is absolutely a reason for this thread to continue now, cos blind people are slowing getting cured. And TS's friend is definitely not getting an easy way out of this as I expected.

  Giving advices without any form of discretion, that's not fair, naive, selfish and very very irresponsible behaviour.

   

• Pitot

  28 Jul 08, 00:42

  seriously, get over it instead of forcing your opinion on others.

   

• Beautiful951

  28 Jul 08, 00:45

  Originally posted by parn:

  Really? You really think the guy is at fault too?

  Then please share from your perspective what kind of other faults did the guy commit?

  How would you rate the guy in terms of being a boyfriend? Would you have done better than him? What would you have done in his place?

  I didn't read anyone mentioning about the faults the guy did, and Ohh...maybe it's because I have been reading too many blind advices in the thread?

  Of course there is absolutely a reason for this thread to continue now, cos blind people are slowing getting cured. And TS's friend is definitely not getting an easy way out of this as I expected.

  Giving advices without any form of discretion, that's not fair, naive, selfish and very very irresponsible behaviour.

   

  
  Well you do have many questions.

  Then please share from your perspective what kind of other faults did the guy commit?

  I think that he did that nonsense with her, and then threw her to one side when she wanted him to take responsiblity.

  How would you rate the guy in terms of being a boyfriend? Would you have done better than him? What would you have done in his place?

  I don't know him presonally, so I don't think I am able to answer.

  I didn't read anyone mentioning about the faults the guy did, and Ohh...maybe it's because I have been reading too many blind advices in the thread?

  Just a little higher Parn. A little

  Of course there is absolutely a reason for this thread to continue now, cos blind people are slowing getting cured. And TS's friend is definitely not getting an easy way out of this as I expected.

  In aunt angony part of the forums, it does not seem right to delete all the posts that you don't find right. Because if they wish to seek help, and you don't want to give it, give others a chance. Maybe they have the answer you don't expect.

  Giving advices without any form of discretion, that's not fair, naive, selfish and very very irresponsible behaviour.

  And may I ask why?

   I agree with pitot you are welcome to your own opinion. And you are welcome to say it. But don't force it down other's throats.

   

• Pitot

  28 Jul 08, 00:47

  Originally posted by parn:

   

  You will need to follow the thread first and understand why the topic was extended into this discussion first before telling me that my posts are invalid to this topic.

  I do not agree with the TS that his friend is the victim in his current situation. And I believed that if TS's friend refused to agree to have sex before marriage, he wouldn't have gotten himself into his current situation.

  Do remember that TS is sharing the story about his friend, and I believed the story is being told to the advantage of TS's friend. So it is always wise to use your own discretion and advise.

  If you only choose to listen to the one-sided story posted by TS, then you are truly naive to hold onto that story as the truth to judge the entire situation.

  People with discretion will seek and question the truth behind every story, and people without it are just naive and easily swayed into giving blind advices.

  You are a girl and you telling me that TS's friend girlfriend is really behaving in this manner for no reason?

  Do you really think that if TS's friend were really innocent and didn't do anything wrong that led to his current situation, would TS even need to seek further advice from here?

  Guilty...and only people with guilty conscience would need to seek further advice to get themselves out of their dilemma. People with clear conscience won't even need to think thrice about taking appropriate actions to resolve this matter as soon as possible.

  If I'm moderator, I will locked this dishonest thread from the beginning. The intentions from posting this topic was already wrong from the beginning, if you can realised you have been misled to believe the details as the truth.

  And what makes you think you can come in and correct me when you did not even tried to analyse the situation genuinely and offers half-hearted advice to TS?

  So do you think you did your best in your post to help TS....or yourself?

   

  Please read. both are my friends.

  You enjoy being a judge? you like to judge people and their opinions?

  And when they disagree with yours you sentence them to death?

   

  okay, you go to heaven and we go to hell. happy?

   

   

• parn

  28 Jul 08, 01:17

  Originally posted by Beautiful951:

  
  Well you do have many questions.

  Then please share from your perspective what kind of other faults did the guy commit?

  I think that he did that nonsense with her, and then threw her to one side when she wanted him to take responsiblity.

  How would you rate the guy in terms of being a boyfriend? Would you have done better than him? What would you have done in his place?

  I don't know him presonally, so I don't think I am able to answer.

  I didn't read anyone mentioning about the faults the guy did, and Ohh...maybe it's because I have been reading too many blind advices in the thread?

  Just a little higher Parn. A little

  Of course there is absolutely a reason for this thread to continue now, cos blind people are slowing getting cured. And TS's friend is definitely not getting an easy way out of this as I expected.

  In aunt angony part of the forums, it does not seem right to delete all the posts that you don't find right. Because if they wish to seek help, and you don't want to give it, give others a chance. Maybe they have the answer you don't expect.

  Giving advices without any form of discretion, that's not fair, naive, selfish and very very irresponsible behaviour.

  And may I ask why?

   I agree with pitot you are welcome to your own opinion. And you are welcome to say it. But don't force it down other's throats.

   

  Before you accused me of forcing my opinions on others. Go trace the thread from the beginning and tell me did I first tried to quote people or people quoted me first just because they don't agree with the opinions that I've shared? You do understand what you meant by "force it down other's throat" right? 

  If nobody quoted me for the sake of forcing their opinions on me, I wouldn't have bothered replying them.

  And don't accuse me for things that you're not sure about me, because you do not know me.

   

• Pitot

  28 Jul 08, 01:19

  okay, go complain and suggest to your MP to legislate this and make pre marital sex illegal.

   

  solves the problem right? jeez.

• parn

  28 Jul 08, 01:34

  Originally posted by Pitot:

  Please read. both are my friends.

  You enjoy being a judge? you like to judge people and their opinions?

  And when they disagree with yours you sentence them to death?

   

  okay, you go to heaven and we go to hell. happy?

   

   

  
  Would you like to go back to your starting post and read again?

  Remember you mentioned "Ok, my friend started dating this girl who seemed quite decent looking". This tells me the guy is your friend and girl is someone you think is quite decent-looking. You aren't even friends with that girl, and yet you claim to be her friend?

  Oh...you're another one like Beautiful951, go trace the post and see who first started to judge post in this thread.

  If people wishes to quote me against my post, then they must be prepared to be quoted in my replies when I respond back.

  If they are sore losers and start to get personal, then I will respond accordingly so that next time they will think thrice before quoting against me and go pick on someone else.

  You think it's funny going to hell? But ask yourself, where else do you think you are really going to go when you die?

   

• Pitot

  28 Jul 08, 01:42

  Do you have a sad past or wad? Cant you comprehend what we are talking about in this issue?

  What are you? the opposite of a MCP?

  You even have to resort to doubting wad i say?

  What you are talking about has NOTHING to do with this thread, i already said, if u want to debate on pre marital sex, go start another thread.

  And whoever the hell is picking on you? LEAVE if you are not happy, then no one can pick on you.

  Sheesh........

  Seriously, you are pissing me off. Can the mods do something about this?

  if she cant be stopped from posting here than close this thread.

  I dont want this to happen because there are some good quality stuff here, but hey, wads it worth when more than half of it is destructive and off topic.

   

  So serious for wad? dont even have a sense of humour.

  really damn sad.