Juz a story~~
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Wah , he don't even walk you to your door. Why are you with him ?. He doesn't appreciate you and it looks like he don't care about your family either, guys are not like him (most). You can do so much better ....
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I have already graduated from my uni, have started a career as well.
Currently, I am still furthering my studies part time; as in taking a Masters.
In all aspects of life, apart from love, I am pretty satisfied; be it friends, family, my studies etc.
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Not satisfied with him, ditch .... he's not the only guy out there
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Agree with White and Brutus. Don't want to sound rude but i think he is a loser.
Who won't talk his girlfriend home when she reaches home at 4am? Even if it is not a girlfriend, i'm sure most guys will send their female friends to at least the lift because they go off home at that ungodly hour.
If he loves you, he would have told his family to calling you by your block number and instead your name. Love and Respect goes hand in hand. You can't bring yourself to like someone whom you don't respect much less love.
Kids are still young and should be indulged once in awhile. Even if he doesn't want to buy the toy, he could have put it in a more diplomatic way or divert the child by saying let's get ice cream or something.
He definitely is a special case. 1 in a billion i might add.
Agree with Yan about the ditching part too
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Frankly, I don't have the courage to; either to ditch him or to step into another relationship again should we break off.
I do have a phobia.
I do have a few friends around me hinting at me; but the moment they hint, I will disappear from their lives till the day they found a gf or they decided that being friends is better.
Till now, no one dare to hint anymore; either that or I lost my charm. (",)
I do have a close, much older friend who asks me 'Why? Why the phobia? Why the reluctance to take a step out to try if I can really find the happiness I want?'
I jus shook my head profusely.
I do feel tired and scare.
Which girl doesn't want to have her own happiness?
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If you want happiness, ditch him. Jerks like him are useless. There are better guys out there.
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Originally posted by shuibianni05:
Frankly, I don't have the courage to; either to ditch him or to step into another relationship again should we break off.
I do have a phobia.
I do have a few friends around me hinting at me; but the moment they hint, I will disappear from their lives till the day they found a gf or they decided that being friends is better.
Till now, no one dare to hint anymore; either that or I lost my charm. (",)
I do have a close, much older friend who asks me 'Why? Why the phobia? Why the reluctance to take a step out to try if I can really find the happiness I want?'
I jus shook my head profusely.
I do feel tired and scare.
Which girl doesn't want to have her own happiness?
all it takes is the 1st step... after tat u might feel different[relieved perhaps?]... if things reali cant help then best is stop b4 it futher drains more NRG from u... as for wat happens after u end it u jz wun know... now is whether make or break... courage? jz go get a can of tiger beer or wine n ur courage will come...
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He's not making you happy, you're not making him happy, what's the point being in that relationship. You need to build up some courage and leave him, cause he's treating you like a piece of meat
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You don't have to immediately step into another relationship if you decide to end your current 1. Enjoy your freedom and get to know more people 1st.
Later on if there are guys who like you, give them and yourself a chance. Don't give up on the forest because of 1 rotting tree. I'm sure there will be nice guys out there who like you too.
I don't think you are very happy in your currently relationship situation either. Should you choose to ditch him though, you gotta be firm about and don't give in to him after he apologises because you will be back to square 1.
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I drink wine frequently; kind of family culture, so wont get courage from drinking those. (",)
I was back to square one once b4; we broke and he apologises, and I took him back; I guess in a way.
Only a few close friends knew I was attached; most thoight we have already broken off.
Neither did I tell them he did apologise, especially after the courage I had at that time, out of anger, that i said 'Fine' and 'Byez'.
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Why did you accept him back ... he's not worth the time
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Commendable, your effort in coming forward and pouring your heart out.
I believe that you've actually identified the problem and you're smart enough to know what to do; if assurance is why you came, I'd say just leave him.
For once, are you certain you want to spend the rest of life babysitting that a-hole? What Selfish, manipulative, lack of aspirations, lazy, dishonorable, abusive & possessive guy deserves a lady's love? *Gasps for air*
Four years is a lot of time, in this four years, not only you forwent your chance at an overseas eduction. In this four years, you've made countless sacrifice on an unworthy cause - you've wasted enough of your limited youth.
The only sane thing to do now is to get out of your comfort zone and leave him; take it as a failed investment, cut your losses and gain a new wisdom. Things might be hard, but once you take the first step, I assure you it will be all downhill. Don't be afraid of heartaches, who hadn't been through heartbreaks?
The final question, are you brave enough? Good luck, amigo
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Originally posted by shuibianni05:
I drink wine frequently; kind of family culture, so wont get courage from drinking those. (",)
I was back to square one once b4; we broke and he apologises, and I took him back; I guess in a way.
Only a few close friends knew I was attached; most thoight we have already broken off.
Neither did I tell them he did apologise, especially after the courage I had at that time, out of anger, that i said 'Fine' and 'Byez'.
looks like u reali should move on to better things... even if both of u patched doesnt mean cannot end ma... so dun lose heart in better ending yet...
say, tried tequila yet?
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A couple should grow together in a relationship, if they don't... and even to the point where, A constantly put B down... What's the whole point?
Be wise, friend
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Leave him and make a fresh start, take a break from being with guys since you have a phobia. Take time out for and think about yourself for a change.
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You gave in too much to him. That's why he is asking for more and more because he knows that you will never let him go. You have simply tolerated too much.
What's the point of hanging on to someone when you are feeling insecure? Look at how many times he has promised you something and nothing has happened. A real man stands by his words and show you the action.
Sorry to say but talk is cheap, gal.
And regarding the almost rape issue by your friend, I understand how you felt. I was in that kinda situation once and no, we are not to be blamed, regardless of what we wear, etc. Don't let your fiance bully you into thinking otherwise.
You have given up so much for him but what do you get in return? As yourself, are you truly happy with your current relationship or are you just "settling" for him because you have both been together for a long time? If it is the latter, better break up rather than drag it on and on because the longer it takes, the harder it is to make that decision.
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a r/s is give and take... BOTH ways...
if u keep giving and he only takes, soon u'll find urself empty with nothing to give... i think u are feeling close to tat stage...
TS he's not worth ur time or ur giving... perhaps it's been so long, it kinda grew on u, a habit... but tat doesn't mean u should stay tat way, emotionally threatened, unhappy...
nothing a man can do is worth it if he constantly take advantage of ur love... have courage, do wat makes u truly happy... rem u r not alone, and ur have a supportive family who cares abt u... jiayou!
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Wa his family called you the block number you live in and he never said anything? If anyone dares to do that to me I would have slapped their mouth. Lolz.
It is total disrespect. Not only he is not respecting you, his whole family sees you as a joke as well. Otherwise they wouldn't have called you that and he wouldn't have allowed it to happen at all.
So wake up and break up with him. I don't think you will have much problem finding someone much better than him, given the low standard he is setting here (no offense).
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To TS,
If you truly love yourself and value your self worth and that of your mum and dad I suggest you use that garbage bin at the dumpster....not for yourself but for that garbage piece that has been stuck to you for so many wasteful years.
Good luck!
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hey..this is my opinion
He is taking you for granted. The 'lets break up' is use oftenly as he knows u wont break up with him or you would take him back.
Ask youself, do you love him or are you jus treating him as someone u need to 'babysit'?
My advice - move on. Everyone deserves the best in terms of love and relationship. he aint giving you the best.
Good luck - J
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I did mention about the 'block number' calling thing to him; but he dismissed it as his family's just pulling my legs. But, pulling my legs for so long?
I was seldom addressed by my actual name; mostly block number or 'that person'.
I don't really have a high expectation of bf; as long as he dote, love, care and concern and protect; it's more than enough. Or am I asking for too much?
A friend told me to hang on to the first attraction which attracted him to me; it was his friendliness and simplicity in life.
But, do these two points supercede all that he had done?
*confused* *dilemna*
Actually, to make myself not to think too much, I have filled up everyday of the week with activities; work, studies, volunteer and freelancing.
A few of my friends understand and are willing to meet me at odd hours for a coffee or jus some shopping.
Yes, my mum did told me to let go when it's still early; but ultimately, do I have the courage?
When his old flame text him at 3am, he felt he was 'needed', he needs to go down the next day and see her immediately. It's fine, maybe she really needs a company.
But, to the extent of forgetting I am in hospital? I was admitted the night his old flame text him; I told him my ward and bed no, he said he would pop by tomorrow. He remembered only after he had met his old flame and had a good night's sleep.
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You need to wake up, he chose his old flame over you, what does that say....
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i feel he is a very selfish person. and i have a feeling his family is the arrogant type.
it's basic manners to address a person by his/her name and by referring you as a number or 'that person' is just plain rude.
if you marry into his family, you might be bullied.
every person deserves to be love and doted on, if he can't do that, he don't deserve you.
move on - J
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very. very. very complicated. hmmm.. i dunoe what to say but. it shouldnt hurt so much to be in love.
just to leave you with a quote, "Never love a love that hurts, and never hurt a love that loves."
sorry couldnt help much.. =( all the best..
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Thanks all~~ Though I have spoeken out how I been feeling, but courage is another issue to overcome.
Besides, guys, do you mind if ur gf start spending on facial products? Not those expensive ones, just simple ones.
When we first got together, I was not a everyday user of facial stuff.
But once I started working and juggling between my studies and work, I started to get facial stuff to reduce the puffy eyes. Whenever we start on the topic of his behaviour, he will insist that I have changed because I buy facial products more frequent now. He said the me four years ago wasn't like that; said I am spending a lot on facial stuff now.
Ermm~~ between 50 to 100 bucks a month is alot??