Juz a story~~
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Thanks deathwish for ur kind understanding; ultimately I know I am the one to make the final decisions.
I have taken into account all the replies posted here; but ultimately, it's up to nightsky87 to think and feel from his own personal view to decide to believe or not.
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I suppose you already know what to do... Just the right time and courage to do so....
It's good that you're picking up encouargements and advices from here... I suppose encouragement is what you've been looking for...
I'm not about to comment on whether you should be breaking up with your bf, but I think if you have much doubts about the relationship.. The last thing you might want to think about is marriage?
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Actually, I have shelved the 'Marriage' issue by giving a 'lame excuse' that I am burdened down with things, like work, course etc.
Marriage involves a lot of planning, as he's a not a planner, I have to plan it; thus my excuse was fair enough to him.
Frankly, after I have posted my story here, more or less, after seeing all the replies, I do know what to do.
Thanks to all that have replied. Really appreciate them.
I wish all loving couples in the world happily ever after; I always have a thinking since young that females will always get an ending like fairy tales; sounds silly, but I believe there are these tales in real life, just that it plainly don't happen in my case.
I do hope every gal out there has a fairy tale ending. I will feel happy knowing they do. (",)
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Originally posted by shuibianni05:
nightsky87, FYI, I have read through all the replies posted in this topic which I started.
Obviously, I saw all the advices and appreciate them; but it's not possible to reply each and every single one. FYI, I still have to work as well. But, I do make it a point to read every reply as I do appreciate all the advices.
Firstly, to post my 'life' on sg forum is not to get sympathy, pity or whatsoever from anyone here. If I really wanna get that, FYI, I can get it from anyone who knew me personally and share with them all that had happened. AND, FYI, I never did that before. Apart from a few friends who knew, no one else knew. AND, these few friends amounted to only THREE.
Is that what you call by looking for sympathy and pity?
Get ur facts right before hurling accusations.
AND, if you have follow the thread correctly, w/o missing out any, u'll realise that I have already mentioned that the next time he said 'break off', I will try to master up enough courage to say 'Fine' and 'Byez'.
The recent incident of 'break off' which I mentioned in my previous reply happened before I started this topic in Sg Forum.
It was precisely because of this incident that led me wondering about this relationship and what I have been doing for these four years. Thus I started this thread; in the hope that the forumers can enlighten me.
I do get the enlightenment from the replies; appreciate them and thank these people.
You mentioned that I kept thinking and thinking; no actions. I have already said I will said 'Fine' to his next 'break up'.
Besides, four years may not be long, may not be short either. Humans have feelings; even if one has been physically abused for years, end of it all, it will take a lot of courage to sue the abuser, sometimes, there might not even be a court case.
If you are expecting me just call him and said, 'Hey, I dump u this instant' and hang up; sorry, maybe U can do it, I can't. I still have my humane side.
Even if we don't talk about humans, let's talk about pets. For those true pets lovers, when they got bitten by their pets repeatedly, do you think they will dump them or carry on loving them? Or do U feel that these pet lovers don't have SELF RESPECT as they put themselves through 'abuse' by their own pets?
And, being highly educated has practically no linkage with the SELF RESPECT U are pointing. What's the link? Are U implying Highly Ed = No Self Respect? And that not that highly ed = Higher Self Respect?
Remember each of us is an individual, don't use education as a weapon/comparison.
As for ruining and wasting my entire future, apologies; like I mentioned in one of my replies before, every apart of my life is good except the love area.
AND, FYI, although I am in the corporate world, with a so call 'high education', so what? What's the big deal of being educated and in the corporate world? I am still a human being; I believe in 'returning'/contributing to society. I do volunteer work to help people, if you feel that my future is ruined/wasted, are you indicating me doing volunteer stuff is also ruining/wasting my own future?
For all my entire life, I only think about others, put others before me. Help others whenever I can, even if it's beyond my means.
Apologies, nightsky87, the laest I expected was false accusations, something I can never stand in life.
Maybe the part of the LOVE MYSELF, u are right, I never love myself, I LOVE every person around me and help them at the EXPENSE of myself. If U felt this is wrong, I should LOVE MYSELF before others, then I have nothing much to say. But, on the other hand, it plainly shows what kind of person U may be.
Besides, never judge a person before U actually know him or her; by judging him/her based on only a small portion, U are being 'biased' in a way; in short, U formed an impression on how U wanna see things and feel abt things, adding in bits of ur own opinion about that person. Whether this thinking is right or wrong, it's debative, but do see things and people from a broader point of view.
Yup, this is exactly the kind of response that I was hoping to illicit, some form of agression, motivation and drive to change your life for the better. I do apologize for my unkind words but based on your reply to me, I think that your true friends, ie in real life, as well as those who love and care for you, will be heartened that you have found the resolve to try to solve the problem at hand.
What you think of me is insignificant, I am merely another nickname in the vast and infinite online world, but if there was any chance through this forum you have found your resolve to change the relationship to a more communicative, mutually respectful, loving and caring one, if you find the courage to comminicate openly with your partner to solve the conflicts at hand and turn your relationship around for the better, then I think your life will be a much better one, won't you agree?
I apologize for the harsh, unkind, rude and (insert negative adjective here) replies and response, but regardless, I sincerely wish you all the best and hope your life will turn out better.
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May you find your Prince and live happily ever after
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nightsky87, u found the most useful way to 'provoke' me. (",)
The one thing I can never stand is false accusations.
Regardless, I don't stay angry or upset for long; as for what I think of U, true it's not significant, but frankly, I believe however one may be, he/she is definitely good/kind in nature; changing only due to circumstances etc.
I knew I have to solve the problems on hand; but through the replies I saw, made me all the more determined to do so.
My friends have always been supportive of me; no matter what, they will always be around.
Not to worry, if the final talk cant make him see things better, off I go. (",)
Every on deserves a last chance no matter how drastic they may be in the first place, it's only until the final straw that people will tend to see things better.
Good luck to me!
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Originally posted by deathwish:
You are welcome Shuibian. I found loved the song when i heard it and i'd share it with you.
night I'm sure she needs time to weigh the pros and cons and since they have been together for 4 years, it is never easy to let go.
True most of us if not all of us posting have said that she deserves better and should dump the guy but let's not forget ultimately she is the 1 who has to live with the decision for better or worse.
Yup, 4 years is a very long time. However the fact that she is still holding on despite what he has done proves that TS still does love her bf very much, and instead of choosing the easy way out by just dumping him overnight, chose to try and solve the problem and differences between them. However, it does take 2 hands to clap, and problems between 2 people cannot be solved unless the both of them solve their problems together.
I know this sounds very contradictory to what I have said (ie dump him straight, dump him outright, etc etc) but sometimes, someone has to play the devil's advocate, be the bad guy, no? Regardless of TS's choice ultimately, all we can do is to wish her all the best, and to not regret her decisions and hope her life changes for the better.
Just one last thing to shuibianni05, no hard feelings and I quote ispyyy, "You have to love yourself in order to love someone...". Even though the exact interpretation varies from person to person depending on the circumstances in which it is inferred, this saying still does have a lot of meaning to it.
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Originally posted by nightsky87:
Yup, 4 years is a very long time. However the fact that she is still holding on despite what he has done proves that TS still does love her bf very much, and instead of choosing the easy way out by just dumping him overnight, chose to try and solve the problem and differences between them. However, it does take 2 hands to clap, and problems between 2 people cannot be solved unless the both of them solve their problems together.
I know this sounds very contradictory to what I have said (ie dump him straight, dump him outright, etc etc) but sometimes, someone has to play the devil's advocate, be the bad guy, no? Regardless of TS's choice ultimately, all we can do is to wish her all the best, and to not regret her decisions and hope her life changes for the better.
Just one last thing to shuibian.. and I quote ispyyy, "You have to love yourself in order to love someone...". Even though the exact interpretation varies from person to person depending on the circumstances in which it is inferred, this saying does have a lot of meaning to it.
Yea i know where u are coming from but u were kinda worked up in the post lol -
Originally posted by deathwish:
Yea i know where u are coming from but u were kinda worked up in the post lolBut that's the whole point isn't it?
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Shuibianni...
I don't understand hor. Why must you wait till he pulls the stunt ?
If you have no intention of marrying him.. or even continuing the relationship with him ... couldnt you just tell him...
" I've given it much thougth about our relationship. We're not meant for each other... this is to let you know.. that I am no longer your girlfriend."
By waiting for his next outbreak.. you're just trying to set him up to be the bad guy.. so people will think you're just re-acting to his behavior, that way you will seem like the victim.
When in fact.. you've no intention of carrying on this relationship. Arn't you in actual fact the one wasting his time ???
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Originally posted by nightsky87:
But that's the whole point isn't it?
We both mean the same thing but diff ways of putting it across :D -
jojobeach, kindly refer to my last post.
As for the accusations of setting him up to be the bad guy, I don't have the intention of that, neither has that thought flow through my mind.
If U want the truth of why I would rather choose to do it that way, reason is very simple.
If U have followed the thread throughout, U will realise there was once I actually said 'Fine' and 'Byez' to his numerous 'break offs'. Most human beings will only realise the lost when they finally and in actual fact lost the 'thing'.
He was dejected, frustrated, regretful, anything U can expect from a person who was remorseful; he approached my friends, my family for help. He even went to the extent of just waiting at my void deck for hours just to have a talk with me about it.
Maybe some will feel it's redundant, it's ridiculous, but apologies, I was touched by all that he did. In that few days, some of the promises which went down the drained suddenly was fulfilled. Be it I am being naive or plain stupid, we got back together; obviously I was touched and willing to give it another try.
To tell him straight in the face that I wanna dump him, is like throwing him back to 'hell' again. Why would I wanna hurt him to that extent? Rather, why would anyone want to hurt others? Just because we felt that he's not worth it, the things he had done are all wrong etc, doesn't give us the right to hurt him either.
To say 'Fine' and 'Byez' at the next 'break-off', I just intend to let him see that things haven't change all these years. To let him know that carrying on will only let both of us sad; I am sad by his behaviour and he is sad that I always have guy friends around me.
All I wanted was a simple end to things, where he won't get so hurt as to the extent of 'giving him a direct punch' in the face.
jojobeach, I am not sure what others will do if they were me, but I definitely don't wanna hurt anyone and that includes him as well, no matter what he had done.
Frankly, if I can bear the pain for him, be the 'devil' instead of him in the 'break off', I can tell U I will gladly do it.
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Originally posted by shuibianni05:
jojobeach, kindly refer to my last post.
As for the accusations of setting him up to be the bad guy, I don't have the intention of that, neither has that thought flow through my mind.
If U want the truth of why I would rather choose to do it that way, reason is very simple.
If U have followed the thread throughout, U will realise there was once I actually said 'Fine' and 'Byez' to his numerous 'break offs'. Most human beings will only realise the lost when they finally and in actual fact lost the 'thing'.
He was dejected, frustrated, regretful, anything U can expect from a person who was remorseful; he approached my friends, my family for help. He even went to the extent of just waiting at my void deck for hours just to have a talk with me about it.
Maybe some will feel it's redundant, it's ridiculous, but apologies, I was touched by all that he did. In that few days, some of the promises which went down the drained suddenly was fulfilled. Be it I am being naive or plain stupid, we got back together; obviously I was touched and willing to give it another try.
To tell him straight in the face that I wanna dump him, is like throwing him back to 'hell' again. Why would I wanna hurt him to that extent? Rather, why would anyone want to hurt others? Just because we felt that he's not worth it, the things he had done are all wrong etc, doesn't give us the right to hurt him either.
To say 'Fine' and 'Byez' at the next 'break-off', I just intend to let him see that things haven't change all these years. To let him know that carrying on will only let both of us sad; I am sad by his behaviour and he is sad that I always have guy friends around me.
All I wanted was a simple end to things, where he won't get so hurt as to the extent of 'giving him a direct punch' in the face.
jojobeach, I am not sure what others will do if they were me, but I definitely don't wanna hurt anyone and that includes him as well, no matter what he had done.
Frankly, if I can bear the pain for him, be the 'devil' instead of him in the 'break off', I can tell U I will gladly do it.
Since you have decided to give him another try.. why are you still frustered ?
Don't you think it may be easier on him to call off the relationship during calm times ?
When both are in a argument, emotion runs high...
He may think you're not even serious with your "Goodbyes".
All you'd be giving him is false hope.
When you can calmly tell him "it's over".. he'll know for sure.. you're done with the relationship.
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Frustered? Frustered as in?
Ur quote 'when both are in an argument, emotions run high..'
U seems to be putting general terms into me; in arguments with him, my emotions never run high, even the same for him. We are adults, we know and understand the importance of staying calm in thoughts, physically and volume; the only difference is he's not open to other's views; he sticks to his own. We don't shout and scream and pull each other's hair out.
As for ur next general term / accusation of false hope, kindly note that u don't actually know both of us in person. He can sense my serious tone and a look of my eyes to know I am serious in what I am saying. Else if he really felt I am kidding with him, would he have done all the things he done when I said 'Fine' and 'Byez' that time?
Don't use general terms on us; if not for his over-sensitiveness in my guy friends plus possessiveness and stubbornness, both of us won't be sad.
From the outside, those who saw us felt we made a good couple; because we know what each other wants or is thinking about through just a blink or a wink of the eyes.
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Originally posted by shuibianni05:
Frustered? Frustered as in?
Ur quote 'when both are in an argument, emotions run high..'
U seems to be putting general terms into me; in arguments with him, my emotions never run high, even the same for him. We are adults, we know and understand the importance of staying calm in thoughts, physically and volume; the only difference is he's not open to other's views; he sticks to his own. We don't shout and scream and pull each other's hair out.
As for ur next general term / accusation of false hope, kindly note that u don't actually know both of us in person. He can sense my serious tone and a look of my eyes to know I am serious in what I am saying. Else if he really felt I am kidding with him, would he have done all the things he done when I said 'Fine' and 'Byez' that time?
Don't use general terms on us; if not for his over-sensitiveness in my guy friends plus possessiveness and stubbornness, both of us won't be sad.
From the outside, those who saw us felt we made a good couple; because we know what each other wants or is thinking about through just a blink or a wink of the eyes.
So why does he keep using ultimatum on you ?
So his "break ups" are real ? If so.. why he keeps coming back ? And you keep taking him back ?
Very drama .... like mei wan mei liao....
If you are both such a good match.. why are you still unsatisfied with him ?
You take the good and the bad.. ... you shit or get off the pot.
Wishy washy... end of day... what's the point ?
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Jojo i think that as this is her problem, she should settle it in the way she feels is in the best interest for both parties.
As outsiders, we should can only give her constructive advise but we should not force her to do things as we would do it.
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Sighz~~
Did u read all the posts from 'top to bottom'?
Firstly, he always use 'break offs' as a 'weapon' to avoid facing 'facts'. He's not willing to accept others' views because of his stubbornness.
To 'take' him back partly of 'Love', partly don't U feel it ridiculous to end things just because, take an e.g. I hang out for supper too long with a guy friend?
Secondly, we are a good match, as perceived by others. 'Internally', his oversensitivity of my guy friends, possessiveness and plain stubbornness is kind of straining things between us; he felt sad because of my guy friends, I felt sad because of his behaviour.
FYI, kindly don't put words into my mouth, I never specifically said I was UNSATISFIED with him; being sad over his behaviour doesn't specify UNSATISIFIED.
It's two different words, with two different meanings.
As for ur words of 'U take the good and the bad... U shit or get off the pot', if 'Love' or 'Life' is as easy as abc or as reference to ur 'shitting' phrase; I really have a feeling that a lot of people will be much happier in 'Love' and 'Life' if it's as easy as the 'shitting' phrase of urs.
Besides, just FYI, even in 'shitting', it's not as easy as u said i.e. U shit or get off the pot'. What if the person is having constipation, trying his best to get 'it' out? OMG, so are U implying that he should jus get off the pot since U may felt that he can't get it out? What should he do? Try to get it to the tip elsewhere first, then rush to the loo in time to dump all in the pot?
Take another e.g. A mother has only 2 bucks left, she has a dying son and a healthy son. The dying son asked for a chocolate bar as a dying wish, the healthy son asked for a bag of chips. But, with only 2 bucks left, the mother actually thought of buying a loaf of bread so that all of them can eat and fill their stomachs. The decision is not as easy as ur 'shitting' phrase.
By buying bread, yes, all will be filled but the sons will be unhappy.
Buy choco bar, yes, dying son's wish is fulfilled but the healthy son may be unhappy for years; kid's mentality is hard to predict. In addition, healthy son and mother have to go w/o food.
Buy bag of chips, healthy son is happy but dying son may not pass away peacefully, and mother has to go w/o food as well.
Life is always full of decisions; every decision U take will not only affect U, but others as well. Every factor affecting that decision has to be taken into consideration and the consequences tied to them as well.
To think about the factors and consequences aren't 'wishy-washy', it's to make the 'best possible solution' available so as to avoid hard feelings of others, of urself and to prevent regrets.
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Originally posted by shuibianni05:
Actually, I have shelved the 'Marriage' issue by giving a 'lame excuse' that I am burdened down with things, like work, course etc.
Marriage involves a lot of planning, as he's a not a planner, I have to plan it; thus my excuse was fair enough to him.
Frankly, after I have posted my story here, more or less, after seeing all the replies, I do know what to do.
Thanks to all that have replied. Really appreciate them.
I wish all loving couples in the world happily ever after; I always have a thinking since young that females will always get an ending like fairy tales; sounds silly, but I believe there are these tales in real life, just that it plainly don't happen in my case.
I do hope every gal out there has a fairy tale ending. I will feel happy knowing they do. (",)
Good luck with your final decision. Just hope it won't drag for too long otherwise you will just prolong your own suffering.
Fairytale ending doesn't come without hard work and heartbreak before that. Only then you will know how to cherish the happy ending after you have been through bad ones ;)
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Originally posted by rainee:
Good luck with your final decision. Just hope it won't drag for too long otherwise you will just prolong your own suffering.
Fairytale ending doesn't come without hard work and heartbreak before that. Only then you will know how to cherish the happy ending after you have been through bad ones ;)
x2... -
Originally posted by shuibianni05:
Sighz~~
Did u read all the posts from 'top to bottom'?
Firstly, he always use 'break offs' as a 'weapon' to avoid facing 'facts'. He's not willing to accept others' views because of his stubbornness.
To 'take' him back partly of 'Love', partly don't U feel it ridiculous to end things just because, take an e.g. I hang out for supper too long with a guy friend?
Secondly, we are a good match, as perceived by others. 'Internally', his oversensitivity of my guy friends, possessiveness and plain stubbornness is kind of straining things between us; he felt sad because of my guy friends, I felt sad because of his behaviour.
FYI, kindly don't put words into my mouth, I never specifically said I was UNSATISFIED with him; being sad over his behaviour doesn't specify UNSATISIFIED.
It's two different words, with two different meanings.
As for ur words of 'U take the good and the bad... U shit or get off the pot', if 'Love' or 'Life' is as easy as abc or as reference to ur 'shitting' phrase; I really have a feeling that a lot of people will be much happier in 'Love' and 'Life' if it's as easy as the 'shitting' phrase of urs.
Besides, just FYI, even in 'shitting', it's not as easy as u said i.e. U shit or get off the pot'. What if the person is having constipation, trying his best to get 'it' out? OMG, so are U implying that he should jus get off the pot since U may felt that he can't get it out? What should he do? Try to get it to the tip elsewhere first, then rush to the loo in time to dump all in the pot?
Take another e.g. A mother has only 2 bucks left, she has a dying son and a healthy son. The dying son asked for a chocolate bar as a dying wish, the healthy son asked for a bag of chips. But, with only 2 bucks left, the mother actually thought of buying a loaf of bread so that all of them can eat and fill their stomachs. The decision is not as easy as ur 'shitting' phrase.
By buying bread, yes, all will be filled but the sons will be unhappy.
Buy choco bar, yes, dying son's wish is fulfilled but the healthy son may be unhappy for years; kid's mentality is hard to predict. In addition, healthy son and mother have to go w/o food.
Buy bag of chips, healthy son is happy but dying son may not pass away peacefully, and mother has to go w/o food as well.
Life is always full of decisions; every decision U take will not only affect U, but others as well. Every factor affecting that decision has to be taken into consideration and the consequences tied to them as well.
To think about the factors and consequences aren't 'wishy-washy', it's to make the 'best possible solution' available so as to avoid hard feelings of others, of urself and to prevent regrets.
Shuibianni..
Relax.. this is just a discussion, yes ?
I've been following your thread. I also feel sad for you when you boyfriend keep using ultimatum to "deal" with issues that needs resolving.
When a love one uses " break off" as a weapon ... I will feel very betrayed. and the trust and security in that relationship diminishes.......
To be honest... your guy friends issue. Are you saying that if you forgo your guy friends.. your boyfriend will change ?
Why is he so upset about your guy friends ? Do you flirt with them ? Do you make your boyfriend feel slighted when you spend time with your guy friends ?
I also have many guy friends.. but it does not means a relationship should suffer because of it. Something must be wrong somewhere.
As for that mother's story.. Sometimes.. a mother needs to make some hard decision... if her priority is to ensure the survival of her own family. If the son cannot be understanding at that moment.. she can only hope that in time he will.
But in the end.. she still needs to make a decision and put that decision into action.
She cannot just keep idling at the crossroads while everybody continues to starve.. now can she ?
On light hearted note.. I laughed at your "constipation" comments. It was funny to put it that way. But.. that's what Enema is for .. help you flush out the constipation that's giving you the tummy ache. Aunt Agony is your Enema for now...LOL...
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Probably because of your adamant self beliefs that problems are generally solvable and you have much endurance to spare; your seemingly lack of drive to initiate yourself out of this relationship might to be due to a ironic situation where you feel that you haven't find enough reason to coerce yourself to leave, although they are blatant reasons to. (This is a karmic phenomenon known to CloUdiSm as Frog Theory X Fixedly).Seriously, it doesn't really matter how much 'well-intended' reasoning someone else can put across - you don't really need those; what you require is simply just a decision and to stick with it. Either to walk away permanently or to change the circumstances of your relationship.
You must understand this: you can even walk away without a reason, if you are really bend on leaving. If you are firm on staying, nothing can make you go. For Love is freewill and emotional bondage are usually karmic by nature.
And all the angles and perspectives are actually barriers that hinder movements to freedom. Some people don't realize this: to bury themselves with all sort of angles and perspectives, by rationalizing that it is important to avoid making mistakes and having regrets in the future, is often the introduction of stagnation. Taking calculated moves are reasonable; but not when you are overly obsessed with the notion of fear, which ultimately immobilize you. Then the source of your angles and perspective are nothing but excuses for insecurity to thrive and the unconscious steps in employing avoidance tactics to evade existing problems.
You are resigned to the fact that your man wouldn't change, but subconsciously, you are waiting for an exception. You waited and waited - patience might be running out, but you could easily say that hope survived all adversity. Albeit, I say it's good to occupy your time and make life much more meaningful outside that of your ailing relationship, but you must also recognise that it is a facade to avoid confronting your relationship altogether and delaying the inevitable.
What do I mean by delaying the inevitable?
Should your relationship perish under major incompatibility, then it will surely manifest towards that direction, unless something drastic happen. Relationship only change, if humans evolved themselves. This ensures the long term positive development of a relationship and not resorting to short term measures to patch certain vulnerabilities for a limited period of time. The latter would be too prescriptive in problem-solving and is often ineffective because individual cosmic lessons are not mastered, thus reiterated lessons over and over again.
If a relationship is always a source of conflict, then the mark of wisdom would be to identity the real cusp of issue and evolve them.
Your man lives in a massive delusion; he thinks that his relationship is functioning well and flourishing. Although he sensed that something is not quite right somewhere in his kingdom, but like the Emperor's New Clothes, he somewhat believed that if he maintain this illusion of grandeur, things will just tide over somehow. He threatened you with break-up because it puts a full-stop to your approach in trying to dispel this illusion. And it works every time he play this trick, so that rules hardly change.
Your permission to succumb compromised the integrity of the relationship, thus sacrificing long term growth. Over a vast period of time, the relationship cracks and bleeds indefinitely.
Now you are completely lost in trying to mend the damage.
By yourself.
There is only so much discrimination, disrespect and suppression one can endure before burn-out occurs. 'That's just me and I can't change' attitude is pretty much self absorbed on his end too. But as a separate issue, your decision to choose him as your mate, with the misery that accompanied your choice, is surely part of your karmic circumstance to understand and learn certain abstract concept of Love.
If lost must occur before one could gain enlightenment, would you allow that growth by imparting the lesson of lost?
Sometimes, divorce is loving.(Ninth Law of Love).
Cheers
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Hehehehe....I see you all are having fun responding to TS?
You know hor...TS isn't that clueless and helpless, it's a story afterall.
I thought you all would be smart enough to tell between a genuine and a non-genuine case.
Have fun all~
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Thanks for all the comments and replies; appreciate them.
As to what decision I have made and how I am going to do about it, there's no point in talking about it here anymore. I realised that the more I said how I felt and wanna do, the more people will tend to put their 'decisions' across to me, and the more the comments about it.
Each individual operates as an individual, each thinks and do things differently. Thus in a way it does affects how we perceive everything.
It's just like Maslow's Hierearchy of Needs; it's just a generalised model to represent human race, but each individual will have their own priority of needs. That's why when we applied it in real life, we'll state as 'General', else 'in theory'.
I will definitely do something about my Love life; not to worry.
As for parn's comments, Thanks, I do have a clue as to what to do after seeing all the replies here. As for the 'genuine' and 'non-genuine' case, I don't see the point of 'debating' or whatsoever; how people want to perceive my case, it's really up to them. I can't force them to perceive things the way I want.
As long as one is conscious-free, one don't have to bother about how others think or perceive them; and furthermore, I never am one who likes to explains my actions; I have did enough explanation here already, out of being 'accused'.
Gossip and rumors are 'scary' in the way that people used words to 'kill' others; I guess the most famous case was Ruan Lingyu.
Lastly, thanks for all the replies;really appreciate them; I won't be replying to this thread anymore. Just let this thread 'die off', if Moderator allows, Yunhaier, don't mind, do me a favour, just close the thread. Or is there a way I can close myself? Thanks!
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Let's be a little more embracing, shall we?
And let's try not to force opinion onto another. Instead, let's seek to empower an individual and learn to respect virtual space.
I am actually quite happy that people are engaging in proper discussion, instead of a '+1 level' sort of reply. So it's still a good topic.
P.S: This topic will be close.
Cheers