telling gf about intimacy with ex
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Originally posted by 4Justice:
you've got a narrow definition of what a "real" man is. Had no idea real men were so insecure one hahahaha
you mean your boyfriends have no qualms about you sleeping around with other men ? ....
I think that's very telling of how much you mean to them, you know ...
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another case of damned if you do, damned if you dont.
lol
n/m la.. it will pass. Just dun keep on mentioning those intimate moments and remind her good enough liaw. Since u already say it. It will forever be imprinted in her mind.
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Originally posted by 4Justice:
Killing them is hardly punishment enough. But then why is it the girl's fault? Men don't know how to control their urges... whose fault is it? I can leave a brand new TV in the streets but if people were honest, nobody'd take it. If someone takes the TV, is it my friggin fault that he's dishonest? Hey so its my fault for leaving it there, but you don't see the honest people taking it do ya? ^^
It's BS men can't control their urges
If they can't control their urges we will be reading about rape everyday
Heck they might even legalise it
It takes 2 hands to clap.
Basing on your example, to keep a man from cheating, I have to lock him up in the house and not let him see the sun? Kinky.
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Originally posted by Fatum:
you mean your boyfriends have no qualms about you sleeping around with other men ? ....
I think that's very telling of how much you mean to them, you know ...
you do know that you don't have the choice to not think about it you know....just think of the happier times.. what happens in the past, let it stay in the past.. can't change it anyway, so just enjoy the present and look forward to the better times in the future..
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Originally posted by Fatum:
you mean your boyfriends have no qualms about you sleeping around with other men ? ....
I think that's very telling of how much you mean to them, you know ...
my GIRLFRIENDS don't care who i slept with IN THE PAST.
does that answer your question? lol
And sometimes, u have to ask, if u're the sort who NEEDS to have sex with many but be in love with one to be truely happy in life, is a partner who lets you do it out of selflessness in wanting you to be happy, someone who loves u more than one who isn't willing to let you do that out of selfish jealousy. Your knee jerk logic shows you haven't thought deeply about the subject at hand at all.
I will admit of course, that I am the latter and believe in monogamy. But yes, I like playing devil's advocate.
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Originally posted by Fatum:
dude ...... don't ever go there ......
the mental image of her doing the thingy thingy with another man ..... would drive any real man wild ....
ignorance .... is bliss ...
i guess why she's feeling this way is becoz she's not much exposed to this kind of stuff.. i understand her feeling this way and don't blame her the slightest bit.. her ex barely made it to first base with her..
hope that she'll get over it on her own coz i believe i can't help much..
how about you guys.. would you tell, if your gf / bf insist to know?
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Originally posted by elindra:
It's BS men can't control their urges
If they can't control their urges we will be reading about rape everyday
Heck they might even legalise it
It takes 2 hands to clap.
Basing on your example, to keep a man from cheating, I have to lock him up in the house and not let him see the sun? Kinky.
Ah Elindra Elindra. So different from when I met u. heh
You realise the newspapers don't always report whats going on, neither do rape victims. Maybe if you dated some girls u'd realise that.
Of course, men aren't outright vicious barbaric creatures, or else how many thousand years of evolution would have been for nought. But like I said, is it my fault for leaving a TV in the street when a honest person wouldn't take it? No. Men who don't cheat, fine. Men who do? Can't control themselves, simple.
And I love the "it takes 2 hands to clap" logic. Suddenly all victims of crime have some part to blame too. Oh dear being victimised is bad enough. Suddenly, they're to blame partially too! Heh love the Singapore mentality.
And Horde still sux =)
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Originally posted by 4Justice:
my GIRLFRIENDS don't care who i slept with IN THE PAST.
does that answer your question? lol
And sometimes, u have to ask, if u're the sort who NEEDS to have sex with many but be in love with one to be truely happy in life, is a partner who lets you do it out of selflessness in wanting you to be happy, someone who loves u more than one who isn't willing to let you do that out of selfish jealousy. Your knee jerk logic shows you haven't thought deeply about the subject at hand at all.
I will admit of course, that I am the latter and believe in monogamy. But yes, I like playing devil's advocate.
love is meant to be selfish ..... anyone who pretends otherwise would have a hard time being monogamous, no ? .... think about it ....
but of course .... perhaps it's different with girl-girl relationships ... I suppose it's cos coitus is not really possible, only mutual cunnilingus ? ....
Ooooo .... I think you remind me of someone .....
i miss her ...
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Originally posted by toothbrush:
i guess why she's feeling this way is becoz she's not much exposed to this kind of stuff.. i understand her feeling this way and don't blame her the slightest bit.. her ex barely made it to first base with her..
hope that she'll get over it on her own coz i believe i can't help much..
how about you guys.. would you tell, if your gf / bf insist to know?
Tell some, hide some
Or else, throw out the immortal line:
"You want the truth?! You can't handle the goddamned truth!"
Honestly, just use yr judgement as best as you can and see what kind of person your partner is. If you made a bad call, too bad so sad you fail. End of.
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Originally posted by BadzMaro:
another case of damned if you do, damned if you dont.
lol
n/m la.. it will pass. Just dun keep on mentioning those intimate moments and remind her good enough liaw. Since u already say it. It will forever be imprinted in her mind.
wah forever imprinted in her mind.. that is what i want to avoid the most lor..thanks to all who posted even though i didn't reply some of you.. but be rest assured that i've read all your replies =)
this 5 mins in between post rule is killing me..
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Originally posted by Fatum:
love is meant to be selfish ..... anyone who pretends otherwise would have a hard time being monogamous, no ? .... think about it ....
but of course .... perhaps it's different with girl-girl relationships ... I suppose it's cos coitus is not really possible, only mutual cunnilingus ? ....
Ooooo .... I think you remind me of someone .....
i miss her ...
Thats not true. Lots of people in polygamous relationships are straight. There ARE people who are by nature not monogamous. I don't pretend to understand how they think or feel, in fact, I frown on it. But fact is, it happens and some people are capable of *shudder* selfless love. It ain't for me, but lets not knock those whom its meant for.And you can pack up your discrimination against gay relationships thank you very much. coitus is overrated and is hardly the key to a monogamous relationship. Its all up in the head and if you fail to realise that, you fail. Epic fail.
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Originally posted by toothbrush:
wah forever imprinted in her mind.. that is what i want to avoid the most lor..thanks to all who posted even though i didn't reply some of you.. but be rest assured that i've read all your replies =)
this 5 mins in between post rule is killing me..
"Oooooohh the 5 minutes! it maketh me mad!"Go on. Turn green and tear your clothes off. You know you want to
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This is equivalent to robbing a bank, then telling the Chief of Police during a drinking bout in a bar about the crime.
Might as well rob a bank and leave fingerprints on the application form.
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Originally posted by 4Justice:
Of course, men aren't outright vicious barbaric creatures, or else how many thousand years of evolution would have been for nought. But like I said, is it my fault for leaving a TV in the street when a honest person wouldn't take it? No. Men who don't cheat, fine. Men who do? Can't control themselves, simple.
And I love the "it takes 2 hands to clap" logic. Suddenly all victims of crime have some part to blame too. Oh dear being victimised is bad enough. Suddenly, they're to blame partially too! Heh love the Singapore mentality.
And Horde still sux =)
-_-"
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Originally posted by maurizio13:
This is equivalent to robbing a bank, then telling the Chief of Police during a drinking bout in a bar about the crime.
Might as well rob a bank and leave fingerprints on the application form.
No its like being an ex-bank robber and having gone good and become an upright member of society, then you tell others about yr past and is unfairly judged for it.
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I need to emphasize on ur logic on the plasma tv. Knowing that it is a expensive item, you choose to leave it in the open, basically tempting people to take it. As human as everyone is, someone will bound to take the bait.
the same thing with men or women, if you choose to pose yourself in the situation where you know some things might happen, eg. going real close with someone you have some wishful thought about, esp to go drinking and get real drunk and high. In this matter, if it was necessary, get a colleague/friend to go, best is avoid when u know something might happen.
and the past is a strike to a men's ego, definitely.. even for girls. Nobody would want to think about how intimate his/her partner used to share with another one. But, it was all in the past. What always matters is that it's you who's beside him/her. Unless the intimacy with someone else is during your relationship, then that's a big problem.
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Originally posted by 4Justice:
No its like being an ex-bank robber and having gone good and become an upright member of society, then you tell others about yr past and is unfairly judged for it.
i think it's confessing to the Chief of Police and serving jail time for it. -
Originally posted by cuddles:
I need to emphasize on ur logic on the plasma tv. Knowing that it is a expensive item, you choose to leave it in the open, basically tempting people to take it. As human as everyone is, someone will bound to take the bait.
Someone DISHONEST. And then whose fault is it? Honest people have no problems. Dishonest people create problems for themselves, because temptation is ALWAYS around the corner.
Originally posted by cuddles:the same thing with men or women, if you choose to pose yourself in the situation where you know some things might happen, eg. going real close with someone you have some wishful thought about, esp to go drinking and get real drunk and high. In this matter, if it was necessary, get a colleague/friend to go, best is avoid when u know something might happen.
and the past is a strike to a men's ego, definitely.. even for girls. Nobody would want to think about how intimate his/her partner used to share with another one. But, it was all in the past. What always matters is that it's you who's beside him/her. Unless the intimacy with someone else is during your relationship, then that's a big problem.
Agree. Smartest thing one can do is to avoid putting oneself into such a situation. Hey for a rabbit who repeatedly gets killed gruesomely you make pretty good sense.
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Originally posted by maurizio13:
i think it's confessing to the Chief of Police and serving jail time for it.
Its no fu*king crime to have been intimate with others in the past. Why should I be persecuted for what I have done in past relationships if I'm faithful to my current? My analogy is better.
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all humans are polygamous by nature. we're just being restricted because of culture. it is in us that we have mating seasons just like animals.
Polygamy is not wrong, it's human nature. Not to say we should go around doing it with anybody like animals, just that in the barbaric times, humans are not bounded by culture.
so Monogamy is a mere restriction culture placed on Polygamous humans. Some people can cope with this culture, but everyone is still human.
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when we used to quarrel, things would go back to normal after a while but this time, i doubt it'll be easy.. for those who had experience before, such things becomes like a "norm" after a while but for her.. guess its hard for her to accept..
anyway i've learnt a lesson from this liao.. keeping everything black and white is not necessarily good for a relationship.. should have abit of grey as well =)
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=) if you gf trust you and shes a grown up.. then she will surly understand
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Sorry thats a fallacy.
Some people are monogamous by nature, some are polygamous. Humans aren't exclusively one or the other naturally.
Just as there are people who need to fu*k with lots of other people, there ARE people who genuinely do not feel the need to be with more than one person. Some people are even naturally asexual and want to be with nobody. To say monogamy arose strictly out of culture is wrong.
*chainsaws cuddles*
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Originally posted by 4Justice:
Someone DISHONEST. And then whose fault is it? Honest people have no problems. Dishonest people create problems for themselves, because temptation is ALWAYS around the corner.
Agree. Smartest thing one can do is to avoid putting oneself into such a situation. Hey for a rabbit who repeatedly gets killed gruesomely you make pretty good sense.
the fault would be the one who chose to place the tv in the open. because it was a lure, there's no real reason why anybody would do that without a purpose. I mean, who would buy an expensive itouch and just leave it lying around?
and thanks for the compliment.. :D someone watch the shows too..
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Whats with the plasma tv ?
How about leaving a plasma tv outside for everyone to use. But by imposing such fear on them that no one even dares to steal ur tv. lol. Mine's not the bambi version of 4justice's plasma tv scenario.
Selfless love.. thats me baby. Sharing the love!