shd i wait for him?
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Just keep your option open...there are a lot more guys who can afford to spend time with you...why must you limit yourself to a guy who clearly is not putting you as a priority in his life?
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precisely. just like what rainee said, there are other better guys out there. you deserve better.
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Wait for me instead!
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you're a monk?
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Originally posted by Jeff86:
you're a monk?
I don't know I look like a manga in real life!
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nope..not a manga..but mayb like manga character.. lol
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Originally posted by Jeff86:
nope..not a manga..but mayb like manga character.. lol
Wahahahaha =) -
yes, you are not understanding, you are selfish
imagine this, when he take leave, he have to choose between family, friends and you
3 in one day or so
stress you know
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Originally posted by gigabyte14:
yes, you are not understanding, you are selfish
imagine this, when he take leave, he have to choose between family, friends and you
3 in one day or so
stress you know
if he is unable to divide his time between his family, friends and his girlfriend, then it is clear that he is not ready for a relationship at this moment.
TS is not selfish to demand for time from her bf. That's what a bf should do, spend time with his gf. What makes her less important than his family and friends until she should take second place compared to them?
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Originally posted by gal_2004:
my bf of 5yrs recently broke up wif me, citing i wasnt understanding enough. he's in ns now and only book out during wkends. as a gf, i of coz will miss him and wanna spend more time with him mah.
he said i'm too "sticky", he wants to have his own freedom, and sometimes wanna go out with other friends instead of me.. but i really not understanding enough, keep insisting on meeting him and he feels that his life is v.restricted and he cant do the things he want.
we broke up 1week ago, but 1mth ago he still asked me whether i'm willing to wait afew more mths for him before he ord. and i told him i will wait for him. the problem is, i think we both still love each other, but i dunno why he still wanna break up?
he keep saying i dont appreciate wat he had ever done for me.. and i'm not understanding enough, coz i keep complaining he dont spend much time with me.. and he ask me dont waste anymore time on him, it's not worth it.. haiz.. i dunno whether wat he said is really frm his heart or not.. i dunno whether i shd continue to wait for him or not.. but he did mention, "i thought our r/s was v.stable this time, and i thought u will understand me, but u didnt.."
When u are talking abt more time, u nvr really mention it 1 or 2 days, when he book out there both sat and sun (How I wish during this is during my serving time). If u expect that he spend both days with u, I can understand the problem he will be facing, he need some breathing space with friends (outside his camp) and family. But if u expect like 1 of the weekend and he still can't make it then I think he is a bit too much. I been through the my NS and that time is even worst where we have only 1/2 days in Sat and if include all the time spend coming out all this, mostly reach home at 2-3 pm already, and I had a few groups of close friends that dun see eyes to eyes with each other (the ah beng type and the a level style) but I am quite lucky/or unlucky being single at that time.Same problem will occur when he is working, at least in army most of the weekend still free unless kenna duty, for some work, weekend will be burnt when workload is heavy, boss happy happy ask u to go overseas outstation for a few weeks.
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I think he gives up liao, maybe he got other game plans and you are not in the plan anymore..so keep cool, there are lot of corky guys out there, be careful, 5 years can take O level liao, what a waste..!!
If he truly love you, he will hv wait for you to change him, guy at his age are in love with games, soccer TV, movies, other new gals and buddies, where got time for real stuff.
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Aiyo...still so young why talk about wait for this wait for that.....u think u filming "liao zai " meh???
Be happy and enjoy life....make many frens....and then select the person u think is most suitable lo....
Young= lots of opportunities.......dont restrict ur options...
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u 2 are prob out of the honeymoon period le, and tis the time when he will want to find back his previous social circle outside of r/s
moreover, he's in army and can only book out once a wk, dat's why i'll expect him to want to hang out with his new buddies during the wkend.
be patient, hang on in there till he ord, by then he will hav more time for BOTH you and his army buddies
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yes and no.. hmm
i choose 'no'
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he is still not mature enough. he takes you for granted. he wants freedom when you stick to him. but at the same time, he ask you to wait for him till his ORD. during this period of time, he just want to go out with his friends, then when he got more time after he is out of NS, then he can enjoy the best of you and his friends. he is selfish in my opinion.
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Originally posted by 00king00:
u 2 are prob out of the honeymoon period le, and tis the time when he will want to find back his previous social circle outside of r/s
moreover, he's in army and can only book out once a wk, dat's why i'll expect him to want to hang out with his new buddies during the wkend.
be patient, hang on in there till he ord, by then he will hav more time for BOTH you and his army buddies
sorry to have contradict,. reading all the comments and looking at guy point of view, it is not wrong for TS bf to spend time with his buddies. they went through many things at army girls will not understand. TS you may want to compromise a bit, if you really want to make things work out for both of you. 5 years is a long journey..
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Originally posted by gal_2004:
thanks for all the replies.. :)
my heart is telling me i shd wait, but then the things he said really hurt me alot.. i feel he's not putting effort in understanding y i was so 'sticky' to him.. well, normally guys enjoy freedom but gals need the assurance mah..
haiz, so how can i make him feel appreciated? i'd tried to have a gd talk with him, but he dowan to listen to me anymore. dont reply my sms or calls anymore.. i really v.heartbroken..
Normally, I would ask you to listen to your heart. But he does not reply your SMS, so i'll say, give it a few, lets say 1 month, if after one month still no SMS,then give up.
Oh by the way, if a friendly guy comes along, be a little friendly. But don't be too friendly yet.
Waiting for just a while is the way to go. Since your heart insists upon it.
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As said, choose me!
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Originally posted by yamizi:
As said, choose me!
choose you??? might as well be a nun. -
it's kinda your fault also. he only has the weekends, he has to spend time with his family, his own friends etc. he also miss you wat, but it's only practical that he can't spend all his time with you, you have to be understanding in this area. if you become a leech now, next time how?
when he's at work, you keep calling him? just because you miss him? not practical wat..
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Originally posted by dumbdumb!:
it's kinda your fault also. he only has the weekends, he has to spend time with his family, his own friends etc. he also miss you wat, but it's only practical that he can't spend all his time with you, you have to be understanding in this area. if you become a leech now, next time how?
when he's at work, you keep calling him? just because you miss him? not practical wat..
Then he had to adjust his schedule to accommodate her more, afterall he loves her, he cannot go on to his usual single life kind of system anymore, he has to be mature enuf to understand that he is attached. So what is wrong about calling him, call, u guys said troublesome, dun call, you guys wonder what happen??Of course she miss him lah, her bf and lover mah, wha lau after years of playing her now dun want her liao, how can eat and forget about it??
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Originally posted by angel7030:
Then he had to adjust his schedule to accommodate her more, afterall he loves her, he cannot go on to his usual single life kind of system anymore, he has to be mature enuf to understand that he is attached. So what is wrong about calling him, call, u guys said troublesome, dun call, you guys wonder what happen??Of course she miss him lah, her bf and lover mah, wha lau after years of playing her now dun want her liao, how can eat and forget about it??
true, but adjusting his schedule doesn't mean that his life revolves only around her. he has to plan his limited time and not neglect any area of his life.
some girls think that when they say "adjust his time", she's actually meaning that he should spend most of his time with her.
but i am sure this is a give and take situation - a real man is a man who knows his piority, and spends his time wisely, and is able to balance all areas of his life, and not let one dominate and upset the balance.
it's not about living the single's life. after all he's already attached for 5 years, i'm sure he's used to being attached already. previously maybe he's giving her 1/5 of his time (b4 NS, alot of time mah, so it seems like alot, and she is satisfied) but now he is in NS, and the amt of time he has is drastically shortened. He is still giving 1/5 of his time to her, but obviously it will be alot lesser, and she has to accept that. he isn't shortchanging her, it's just that the amount of time he has is lesser. and i think girls in general forget that.
if i have a whole cake, and i give you 1/5, it seems like a pretty large serving, but if now i only have one slice, and i give you 1/5, it is of course alot lesser.
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Originally posted by rainee:
Just keep your option open...there are a lot more guys who can afford to spend time with you...why must you limit yourself to a guy who clearly is not putting you as a priority in his life?
then what is a relationship all about? only being there during the good times, but if for a moment, he is not able to meet your needs, you look for the next person?
now if you have this attitude, what will happen during marriage? "For better and for worse" isn't applicable anymore? if girls start thinking like that, can they be trusted?
might as well hang a conditional clause around your neck
"I'm willing to be attached to you, but the moment the condition isn't comfortable and I don't have the warm fuzzy feelings, I'll leave you for someone else, Sorry, but working through the hard times with you isn't within my comfort zone, I rather go for greener pasture, but it's ok, you can definitely "trust" me with your heart *wink* "
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Originally posted by dumbdumb!:
then what is a relationship all about? only being there during the good times, but if for a moment, he is not able to meet your needs, you look for the next person?
now if you have this attitude, what will happen during marriage? "For better and for worse" isn't applicable anymore? if girls start thinking like that, can they be trusted?
might as well hang a conditional clause around your neck
"I'm willing to be attached to you, but the moment the condition isn't comfortable and I don't have the warm fuzzy feelings, I'll leave you for someone else, Sorry, but working through the hard times with you isn't within my comfort zone, I rather go for greener pasture, but it's ok, you can definitely "trust" me with your heart *wink* "
It is a must in a relationship that the guy has to spend time with the girl wat...of cos once in a while if he can't due to some other more important commitments, the girl must understand. But if everytime the girl asks the guy to spend time with her the guy also say cannot then that shows the guy is unable to balance his time. So it will do him and the girl good to not be in a relationship until he knows how to prioritize his time better.
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See? Problems with girls, don't spend time with them meaning guys don't love them.
Haha, single guys out there, just focus on work and study, when career established, girls come in flock. No worries =)