shd i wait for him?
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Originally posted by dumbdumb!:
true, but adjusting his schedule doesn't mean that his life revolves only around her. he has to plan his limited time and not neglect any area of his life.
some girls think that when they say "adjust his time", she's actually meaning that he should spend most of his time with her.
but i am sure this is a give and take situation - a real man is a man who knows his piority, and spends his time wisely, and is able to balance all areas of his life, and not let one dominate and upset the balance.
it's not about living the single's life. after all he's already attached for 5 years, i'm sure he's used to being attached already. previously maybe he's giving her 1/5 of his time (b4 NS, alot of time mah, so it seems like alot, and she is satisfied) but now he is in NS, and the amt of time he has is drastically shortened. He is still giving 1/5 of his time to her, but obviously it will be alot lesser, and she has to accept that. he isn't shortchanging her, it's just that the amount of time he has is lesser. and i think girls in general forget that.
if i have a whole cake, and i give you 1/5, it seems like a pretty large serving, but if now i only have one slice, and i give you 1/5, it is of course alot lesser.
If he had shorter time, he should then explain to his gf and make her understand, we dun ask guy to spend time with us, what we want is to spend time together, if he needs to stay home with parents and rest, we can go to his house and stay with him, if he needs time with friends, we can go along too, cos we love our guys. Imagine after 5 years of our love and time, isn't it a waste to just dump it out?? Or simply the guy as in usual cases, of getting tired of his girl??Yes, maybe our love hv overtaken us, but that is because of our emotion in love is much greater in most guys that we wish to be with our love one forever.
Given whatever size the cake, if we love a guy, we are willing to share with him the entire cake thru our life.
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Originally posted by yamizi:
See? Problems with girls, don't spend time with them meaning guys don't love them.
Haha, single guys out there, just focus on work and study, when career established, girls come in flock. No worries =)
ya, work and study, earn more money, we will flock to you, but not sg gals, cos we also earn alot of money, sometime more than guy. So those maybe foreign gals ya. -
Originally posted by angel7030:
If he had shorter time, he should then explain to his gf and make her understand, we dun ask guy to spend time with us, what we want is to spend time together, if he needs to stay home with parents and rest, we can go to his house and stay with him, if he needs time with friends, we can go along too, cos we love our guys. Imagine after 5 years of our love and time, isn't it a waste to just dump it out?? Or simply the guy as in usual cases, of getting tired of his girl??Yes, maybe our love hv overtaken us, but that is because of our emotion in love is much greater in most guys that we wish to be with our love one forever.
Given whatever size the cake, if we love a guy, we are willing to share with him the entire cake thru our life.
problem is, we don't know the situation. for all you know TS is upset because her bf wants to spend time with his parents, and she wanted him to herself?
also, another thing about going over to his place, let's reverse the scenario, would you like it if your bf parents want to tag along on all your dates?
i guess for me, if i want to spend time with my parents, i want my attention to be focused on them. i don't want to be embroiled where my gf has to fight for my attention etc.
yes i agree.. 5 years is a waste to break up over smth so petty.
but another thing i want to point out. it also depends what character the gf has. is she the quarrelsome type? if the bf wants to rest at home, it wouldn't be restful if everytime meet also she show black face or unhappy abt smth?
there is alot about the relationship we don't know
the cake metaphor is good, but i don't think it ever occurred to her that the reason why she felt time wasn't enough is because he has alot lesser time to divide up also. i hope she reads this and realise it.
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Originally posted by rainee:
It is a must in a relationship that the guy has to spend time with the girl wat...of cos once in a while if he can't due to some other more important commitments, the girl must understand. But if everytime the girl asks the guy to spend time with her the guy also say cannot then that shows the guy is unable to balance his time. So it will do him and the girl good to not be in a relationship until he knows how to prioritize his time better.
of course it's a must. but i don't think that is the issue. she said that she kept complaining that he isn't spending much time with her. she didn't complain that he didn't even spend ANY time with her.
the problem is TS isn't satisfied with what she has now, it's not that she isn't getting any attention from him, it's just that she isn't satisfied with what he has given her, and due to circumstances, it's hardly the bf's fault.
she has to be more understanding, if she can't even exercise patience and understanding at this point, then next time is gonna be worse.
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Originally posted by dumbdumb!:
of course it's a must. but i don't think that is the issue. she said that she kept complaining that he isn't spending much time with her. she didn't complain that he didn't even spend ANY time with her.
the problem is TS isn't satisfied with what she has now, it's not that she isn't getting any attention from him, it's just that she isn't satisfied with what he has given her, and due to circumstances, it's hardly the bf's fault.
she has to be more understanding, if she can't even exercise patience and understanding at this point, then next time is gonna be worse.
Okie, if she says she wants to spend all the time with him when he books out then I guess it can be quite hard for the guy. Maybe just get her to come to his house or go dinner together with his parents so that they can all spend time together?
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Originally posted by rainee:
Okie, if she says she wants to spend all the time with him when he books out then I guess it can be quite hard for the guy. Maybe just get her to come to his house or go dinner together with his parents so that they can all spend time together?
how about this? the girl, should stop being so self centered and realise that she needs to give him his personal space, because i don't think she wants her parents to intrude in their time by being physically present just because they miss their son right?
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Originally posted by dumbdumb!:
how about this? the girl, should stop being so self centered and realise that she needs to give him his personal space, because i don't think she wants her parents to intrude in their time by being physically present just because they miss their son right?
Doesn't mean when they are together they need to be doing something physical what...eat dinner together can be done together with his parents or even friends...
And I don't think going out together with his bf and his family/friends make her self-centered, it is just a way to assimilate herself into his circle of friends and family ma...and to get closer to them...because being in a relationship is not just about knowing the guy, it is about getting to know his friends and family members as wel...
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hey gal_2004..
Is nothing wrong about being " Sticky " to your bf .. Is he don understand you , not u don understand him.He just using this as a excuse . He is seeing his army friends for what .. like 5 days 24 hr ? but for you .. You only meet him for like what 1 and half day or even not able to meet him for the weekend. What wrong for "Sticking"with him ? Nothing .. He should treasure the time with you , not blaming you about it.
Somemore is a 5 year relationship .. He can give it up like tat so easily ..Fuck lor ..Don wait for him ba..
Btw , i also almost same as you ba, I also very sticky to my bf . But he got no choice to accompany during his book out ..but you must also know when to let him go out with his friend , don neglect your your friend too. ..
Take care of urself okie
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Originally posted by angel7030:
ya, work and study, earn more money, we will flock to you, but not sg gals, cos we also earn alot of money, sometime more than guy. So those maybe foreign gals ya.
Just need to earn more than any girls.Girls have easier ways to earn monie than guys anyway.
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Originally posted by rainee:
Doesn't mean when they are together they need to be doing something physical what...eat dinner together can be done together with his parents or even friends...
And I don't think going out together with his bf and his family/friends make her self-centered, it is just a way to assimilate herself into his circle of friends and family ma...and to get closer to them...because being in a relationship is not just about knowing the guy, it is about getting to know his friends and family members as wel...
lol when i say physically there, i don't mean... doing physical things >.<"
hmm. that's a good point, but sometimes the parents may want to spend personal time with him etc.
i feel there's a time for everything la.
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Originally posted by xia0jess:
hey gal_2004..
Is nothing wrong about being " Sticky " to your bf .. Is he don understand you , not u don understand him.He just using this as a excuse . He is seeing his army friends for what .. like 5 days 24 hr ? but for you .. You only meet him for like what 1 and half day or even not able to meet him for the weekend. What wrong for "Sticking"with him ? Nothing .. He should treasure the time with you , not blaming you about it.
Somemore is a 5 year relationship .. He can give it up like tat so easily ..Fuck lor ..Don wait for him ba..
Btw , i also almost same as you ba, I also very sticky to my bf . But he got no choice to accompany during his book out ..but you must also know when to let him go out with his friend , don neglect your your friend too. ..
Take care of urself okie
i think... both parties should be concerned over the needs of the other party over their own needs. it takes two hands to clap ya. if the girl wants the guy to care for her needs, she must also coorperate to take care of his needs. if he's too busy fighting for his "rights" and "space" and "needs" he definitely no energy to love her.
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Originally posted by yamizi:
Just need to earn more than any girls.Girls have easier ways to earn monie than guys anyway.
What u mean by gal easier to earn money, we also hv to work very hard ok, we also hv to be smart, study, upgrade, creative and think of all kind of ways to make money.
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The only people who knows whats going on in a relationship are the boy and the girl in it. Outsiders don't know so much. She may just be griping for all we know.
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Originally posted by Beautiful951:
The only people who knows whats going on in a relationship are the boy and the girl in it. Outsiders don't know so much. She may just be griping for all we know.
hmm, definitely.
but i personally feel that she should be satisfied la.
girls in general, always equate stickiness with love, that's so wrong.
what is love?
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
it is not self seeking. if you girls claim you love the guy so much, maybe use this as a measurement, and see for yourself, how superficial your love really is.
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Originally posted by dumbdumb!:
hmm, definitely.
but i personally feel that she should be satisfied la.
girls in general, always equate stickiness with love, that's so wrong.
what is love?
it is not self seeking. if you girls claim you love the guy so much, maybe use this as a measurement, and see for yourself, how superficial your love really is.
But then we may have to take into account that he does not reply her SMSes. I did think that she could wait a while for him to calm down. But I don't know.
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Originally posted by Beautiful951:
But then we may have to take into account that he does not reply her SMSes. I did think that she could wait a while for him to calm down. But I don't know.
maybe he sms so much, until he have $500 phonebills and he's trying to cut down?
maybe she's unhappy because he's with his friends, and he cannot concentrate on them, because she kept smsing?
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Originally posted by dumbdumb!:
maybe he sms so much, until he have $500 phonebills and he's trying to cut down?
maybe she's unhappy because he's with his friends, and he cannot concentrate on them, because she kept smsing?
Well, we have to ask her. But not like she online now.
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It is normal for people to be sticky when you don't get to see your partner often. But, seeing from his point of view, I think he need friends to survive... thus he rendered that he rather have his time spend with friends rather than having you all the weekend...
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Originally posted by caleb_chiang:
It is normal for people to be sticky when you don't get to see your partner often. But, seeing from his point of view, I think he need friends to survive... thus he rendered that he rather have his time spend with friends rather than having you all the weekend...
haha.. for me.. i guess i'm different. but i treasure my personal time and space. i need time to be alone also.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
What u mean by gal easier to earn money, we also hv to work very hard ok, we also hv to be smart, study, upgrade, creative and think of all kind of ways to make money.
Comparing a sales position. Do you think it's easier for men or women to clinch the deal?
Women client may find women sales personnel better to talk with. They can even start their fashion talk etc.
Men client, as you had already explicitly implying that men are chee hong, so women get the deal too.
Simple right?
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Originally posted by yamizi:
Comparing a sales position. Do you think it's easier for men or women to clinch the deal?
Women client may find women sales personnel better to talk with. They can even start their fashion talk etc.
Men client, as you had already explicitly implying that men are chee hong, so women get the deal too.
Simple right?
No, no doubt we can be the front peoples, but the rear side still got so many guys doing nothing but high pay and alway cannot find them in office.And as the front gals, we need to spend alots on comestics, fashion and looks, and sometime we get harassed by men too. So, as i said, it is not easy to earn money??
And when it come to serious big money project, guys are preferred, the reason is guys trust guys.
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lol.. i saw this girl's blog, she's a model, everytime car show, IT fair whatever, she'll easily get a job - walk around take pictures, and she'll happily fan out a huge wad of cash.
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he wants u to go for good
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TS, Dont be too persistent in somethings that shouldnt and wouldnt be
My opinion, better to leave everlasting memories (if there is) than long standing misery.
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Originally posted by angel7030:
No, no doubt we can be the front peoples, but the rear side still got so many guys doing nothing but high pay and alway cannot find them in office.And as the front gals, we need to spend alots on comestics, fashion and looks, and sometime we get harassed by men too. So, as i said, it is not easy to earn money??
And when it come to serious big money project, guys are preferred, the reason is guys trust guys.
How to trust girls who spend so much on fashion, looks and cosmetics? lol