The stupid gal
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Originally posted by dcx:
ppl himself is having fun with his current gf and why the fcuk are u here reminding yourself of the past, simi can't let go... blah blah n blah...
oh ya...btw, u dun even need to prove to him anything...i.e. that you're able to survive with or without him...etc..
he's nothing.
yes i know i know he's happily with his gf now. thank you for reminding me leh. i know i am dumb.
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Originally posted by Ju lyn83:
yes i know i know he's happily with his gf now. thank you for reminding me leh. i know i am dumb.
No problem. You're welcome.Knowing yourself that you're dumb doesn't give you the excuse to be dumb anymore...
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Originally posted by Yunhaier:
You attempt to use credits of the past to justify harboring excessive emotions into the now-defunct relationship. In Love's concept of time (CloUdiSm - Law of Time), I quote: 'What's dead cannot be revived and what's revived will not be original. What's original will be in the past and what's passed will remain dead.'Death is often misunderstood - often liken to a form of some massive evil that lurks in dark, abominable to all existence. In fact, it's like an entrance; when one pushes the door, the other side appeared to be pulling - creating one-effect-two-perception situation. This simple relation between life and death in relationship is but our quintessential cosmic growth that expands our higher learning in Love. Neither existence nor non-existence of a relationship contributes to the success/failure of relationship; it's merely a continous process.
In fact, throughout the lifespan of a relationship - it could gone through several process of 'death and rebirth', as Love evolved through the vicissitude of a relationship, shaped by the couple themselves.
Nobody says it's easy to move on; but the difference lies in our concept of acceptance, as well as our grieving process. Those that deny their circumstances often find it a struggle to cope with the demands of reality against incongruous delusion that they are trying to upkeep. Many times, the delusion is inherent and self generated, as our false belief strengthen to corroborate with the lies we have gorged ourselves till the point of insanity.
You perpetually questioned yourself with all the mundane 'why', which incarcerate you with heaps of nonsense and fettered you from moving on. Allow me to shatter some zealous beliefs you have held so dearly - why must a four-and-a-half years of relationship be of something to him as well?
You must understand that this value, in which you have emotionalize, is exclusive to your own personal belief and does not necessarily means the same on his side. His action suggested a strategy of hook-bait-reel-release technique in retention initiative and if you are foolish enough to buy the tale of the 'I-like-the-other-woman-but-I-love-you' crap - then don't weep if you ultimately realize the poignant truth that could ruin all good memories, which is probably all you have left right now.
You cannot judge the future based on the rules of the past. You will always be miserable if you cling onto expired game rules that disallow you to unlock your gate to freedom.
To move on, you don't have to run. You just need to draw your first step.
Start walking: a step in a day will mean ten steps in ten days and a hundred steps in a hundred days.
Remember, we are responsible for our own happiness and misery. If you choose to dwell, nobody can coerce you to climb out, other than yourself.
Cheers
owns lah yun..
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Basically you need to let go of this relationship and the memories of it so that you can move on to bigger and better things. I think you are at a stage whereby you know and want to let go but your feelings and memories of your ex is holding you back. You should be quite a sentimental person because it has already been a year since your breakup with him.
The only way you can "break free" me thinks is to detach yourself from him and memories of your past relationship. Get to know new ppl, have minimum communication with him or none if possible. Also think of why he broke up with you and ask yourself, is it worth it to get back into the same relationship with the possibility of getting hurt the same way again..
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Originally posted by deathwish:
Basically you need to let go of this relationship and the memories of it so that you can move on to bigger and better things. I think you are at a stage whereby you know and want to let go but your feelings and memories of your ex is holding you back. You should be quite a sentimental person because it has already been a year since your breakup with him.
The only way you can "break free" me thinks is to detach yourself from him and memories of your past relationship. Get to know new ppl, have minimum communication with him or none if possible. Also think of why he broke up with you and ask yourself, is it worth it to get back into the same relationship with the possibility of getting hurt the same way again..
Trying to let go and move on. Hmm ya i guess it's the memories, i am keeping everything away now. Hope it helps.
I know very clearly myself that it's not worth it at all. I know myself that even if we can get back together there is always a barrier between us because of the hurt and all the heartless things he has once done. I know he's at no fault treating me like that cause when you don't love someone anymore it's like that but i can't help to feel disappointed with the way he's treating me. He keep trying to come back to my life after the breakup and now that i wanted him back in my life he's taking me like a fool telling me that things is already in the past ask me to move on to forget than why give me fake feelings in the first place.
错在我太执�了
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Originally posted by Ju lyn83:
Trying to let go and move on. Hmm ya i guess it's the memories, i am keeping everything away now. Hope it helps.
I know very clearly myself that it's not worth it at all. I know myself that even if we can get back together there is always a barrier between us because of the hurt and all the heartless things he has once done. I know he's at no fault treating me like that cause when you don't love someone anymore it's like that but i can't help to feel disappointed with the way he's treating me. He keep trying to come back to my life after the breakup and now that i wanted him back in my life he's taking me like a fool telling me that things is already in the past ask me to move on to forget than why give me fake feelings in the first place.
错在我太执�了
If you have decided to move on.. best case would be totally ignore him because as long as he contacts you, you will never find the will to let go....
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Originally posted by deathwish:
Basically you need to let go of this relationship and the memories of it so that you can move on to bigger and better things. I think you are at a stage whereby you know and want to let go but your feelings and memories of your ex is holding you back. You should be quite a sentimental person because it has already been a year since your breakup with him.
The only way you can "break free" me thinks is to detach yourself from him and memories of your past relationship. Get to know new ppl, have minimum communication with him or none if possible. Also think of why he broke up with you and ask yourself, is it worth it to get back into the same relationship with the possibility of getting hurt the same way again..
Donno why i keep having this thought that if he comes back and i have move on then he'll be left alone. Trying to accept other guys or going out with them makes me felt guilty. Thinking if i really accept this new guy and what if he comes back. I know these are rubbish thinking. I know why should i care and bothered about him but sometimes somethings are not within my control.
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Originally posted by deathwish:
If you have decided to move on.. best case would be totally ignore him because as long as he contacts you, you will never find the will to let go....
Ya guess now i can cut all contacts with him. Before he knows that i still have feelings for him he keep calling me even for the smallest matter. Now that he knows that i still have feelings for him and after i told him that i want to stop contacting him so that i can forget, he wun contact me anymore.
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I know you may not willingly want to detach yourself from him but you should start thinking about yourself instead of him.. Ultimately if you stay this way, the only getting hurt is you while he will be happily gallivanting away...
He was the 1 who did you wrong and it's his loss if you found someone better.. You can't spend your life waiting for him and there is no guarantee that even if both of you get back together again he won't leave you for another girl again.
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Originally posted by deathwish:
I know you may not willingly want to detach yourself from him but you should start thinking about yourself instead of him.. Ultimately if you stay this way, the only getting hurt is you while he will be happily gallivanting away...
He was the 1 who did you wrong and it's his loss if you found someone better.. You can't spend your life waiting for him and there is no guarantee that even if both of you get back together again he won't leave you for another girl again.
ya i know we can't get back together anymore.
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Originally posted by Ju lyn83:
ya i know we can't get back together anymore.
All i can say is your future happiness is in your own hands.. Sometimes you need to fight for it, sometimes you need to know when to move on.Good luck to you
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Originally posted by Ju lyn83:
ya i know we can't get back together anymore.
Ju, U r slowly gettin outta the mess now & that's a very good thing. Everybody will get over their bad r'ships eventually. Jus forcus on something else, e.g sgforum.
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Originally posted by Ju lyn83:
Donno why i keep having this thought that if he comes back and i have move on then he'll be left alone. Trying to accept other guys or going out with them makes me felt guilty. Thinking if i really accept this new guy and what if he comes back. I know these are rubbish thinking. I know why should i care and bothered about him but sometimes somethings are not within my control.
Why do you even care that he would be lonely? Lolz. If I were you, I would be damn happy if his current gf broke up with him. My ex broke up with the girl he got together with behind my back a year later, and when I found out, I was laughing my ass off. Yea, I am evil, but I don't even think about how he would be lonely, bla bla etc. I just see it as his retribution.
The reason why you still feel guilty is because you allow yourself to be. You still think of you and him as an item. You have to get this fact into your head: There is no longer "US" between the two of you. The day he decided to go with the girl and left you behind, you are no longer in his life, you are no longer obliged to date him exclusively.
So keep an open mind and go out with other guys. Don't feel guilty if you start to like one of them. You have the right to live freely and happily ever after without him.
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go out with sgf men lo.. so much activities.. you like hunting can find those mouse hunters lately.. or eating go gluttony sessions, or dunno what else la.. so much things u can do..
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Join us gluttony later become fat cannot blame anyone hor =X