Originally posted by MS:1. Firstly, can I ask, do you have a stable career. At the age of 30, you should be earning above 50K annual at least. Also becoming a maestro in at least one field of discipline. If you have a good career, how do you balance your career and your social life?
Im working on that. Should see 50k / Annum or more within the next 2 years. (i just swtich line, very "green" to this new job, hence the pay is not up to the "standard" yet)
Being 30 years old, a gross annual income of 50K is the minimum you should have. It will spell you have between $3K to 3.5K a mth, 2.5mths bonus and up to $2K of overseas travel allowance. You cannot still wait for ‘within the next 2 years’. By then when you are 32, you will be based on a different benchmark. Do not forget that money depreciates due to inflation. Perhaps at the age of 32 or 33, you should be getting $55K annually. You will be playing catch up forever.
By not having this, you have already punctured your eligibility greatly as someone who cannot even support himself, what makes him think he can afford to run a family.
What I can suggest is for you to think clearly on your career objectives. Of course I am not asking you to become a top sales man or a pastor who can psycho people for donations. But think hard about what you want to do with your life in terms of work. It’s either you become a professional (eg. Engineer, accountant etc.) in a foreign MNC or a management level staff. I will greatly recommend you not to work for large Singaporean companies if you value integrity and a life long career.
2. Do you have a pleasant personality? How to gauge?
Im a gentle person, not tough. still boyish looking. how to gauge?
people commented so. ex boss told me i looked like a boy. never thought im 30.. How?
Looks for a guy aren’t that critical. It is the charisma behind the ugly face. I have ugly friends who have excellent charisma. The rare type of SAF Military officer whom men are willing to stick with him. My this friend looks like the incredible hulk with a much modest torso. He’s outgoing and enjoys sports. He was ditched by his ex gf and he cried. He called me from HK when he went touring with his slutty ex gf who took advantage of him. I told him to dump that slut and come back brand new. He expanded his social circle when he went for his NUS freshman orientation. Got attached with a very pretty gf within 2 or 3 months. They are still together. It has been since 2001.
(a) Do you have a lot of people not on good terms with you at work?
No, im on good terms with the people. even some ex colleagues.
You seem to even enjoy a good relationship with the people who are most likely to clash with you. This shows that you have a peaceful and pleasant personality.
(b) How's the relationship between you and your family?
Not on good terms with Father, treat my mother nicer. gave money to both parents.
I am not on good terms with my dad too. He’s basically a lazy bum who leeches on my mum and aunts. I also know a few other friends who are like that.
(c) Can you confidently say you have good friends? And these friends are the sort who will visit you should you be hospitalized, trust and stand up for you should you be maligned?
A. I have some good friends (not really alot), most nice girls that i know are already attached. There is this female friend whom i liked, and on the verge of breaking up with her bf. i consoled her and gave her insights to good relationship from books i read. (I liked her before, expressed my feelings, but was rejected. I checked out her friendster, the BF is much..much better looking.)
There are people who stand up for me. yes( i took some time to think this question honestly yes)
Your friends circle within your comfort zone seems to be quite stable. But you need more than that. You need to build up a more elaborate network of acquaintances.
3. Do you have a good social circle? As in having people asking you out or you have a healthy list of people whom you can invite for dinner or outing?
No, i dont have a good social circle. most of the time, i would spend on video games and time at uncle's place where I play with his kids. occaionally once in every 3 months, I would be asked to join in karaoke or drinking session by friends.
This is a lethal killer. You need to spend time outside more. And spend time with friends who bring friends. Join outings organized by friends more often. If they don’t then you can organize outings. For example meeting up for movies in a large group.
Have you gotten your car and bike licence? Go and upgrade your career first before you buy a vehicle. Regardless it’s a bike or a car. Then join these group outings. You can never underestimate how much magic a car can do with opening up a new horizon of choices. But of course, with an influx of new choices, there will always be good and bad. Be careful on your choices. A wrong move can land you in even deeper shi_t than now.
Amongst all the people I know who rides or drives, I seldom come across people who have never had a gf before. Or perhaps they had but broke off when I met him.
This is because a car is sadly… an icon of wealth or stability even though it may not be true. And the more expensive your car is, the more likely you will attract attention including the wrong ones. But do not rush into buying a car and end up with debts just in order to look good. Manage your finance and buy a car only when you are confident you do not put a strain on your finance.
4. Given a day off eg. Sunday, how do you spend it?
Play games or go uncle's place to spend time there.
Please… refer to the above.
5. What are the factors you ask for before deciding to know more about the girl?
Attractive.
Firstly, you don’t have a choice now. Don’t keep in mind that you are going for a matchmake everytime you go out in a group outing of mixed genders. Go with an open mind just with the intentions of making friends. Talk more and make suggestions. Initiate going to certain places, be sporting if your suggestion is rejected.
Therefore the aesthetics of the girl is not the priority for you now. Rather the attractiveness of her inner cultivated beauty.
6. Do you fool around with girls? That means never serious about girls before? ie. Active ONS player.
Never fooled around with girls before, Been to disco less than 10 times in my life. By the way, i couldnt drink. 1 glass of beer is enough to make me sick and puke.
Im serious in the girls im after, never succeed. perhaps i picked the wrong ones
I’ve seen a show on a dating flop. This man in his late thirties who has never been on a date. Works as a computer technician earning a modest income. The show host matched him up with a girl and dresses him up for the event. Told him to kick all his dirty bad habits and arranged for them to meet at a café.
The flop lived up to his name and was unable to start a conversation. He was utterly quiet for a long time before he made his debut speech that totally killed the chances. The first and last sentence he spoke was “I may not be a good bf, but I am a good husband.”
The girl was already utterly disgusted by the lack of speech and the first sentence has to be such an atmosphere drencher.
I am not asking you to start fooling around and hate girls. But start to be open minded and initiate more group outings. Regardless it’s a cycling event, BBQ, group movie cum dinner session.
Being good looking only secures the first impression. But a good looking jerk will soon be detested by many.
In conclusion, basically I can figure you out as a replica of some of my friends. A nice guy without looks nor discovered talent earning a below average income. Having a wrong concept about relationships and personality on this aspect. So desperate to rush into any potential opportunity for a relationship. And this desperation led to anguish as the rushing in causes a negative impact on the girls.
To a man, looks is only secondary but achievements are mandatory. If you want to attract girls, you need to have a reasonably stable and strong career which you lack now. A good pleasant personality which you already have. A sensible and open minded concept on relationships which I think you need to improve. A charisma which shows you as a capable young man rather than a timid mouse.
I wish you good luck and hope my advise helps.
Thank you very much. i had copied this to my important folder. Thank you once again.
Originally posted by seaworld:sadly to say, sg gers dun have x-rays powers...they only see what's outside....
money, got car is not important to them, they want someone they can bring out and show to ppl..if u get what i mean...
that teacher is not the only one i chase, i chase quite a number..all cannot go beyond that line...end up bye bye...that teacher is only plain jane ger next door....
plastic surgery is the only way left for me...
Wei, dun be so down...... happy to say that my peers around me not like that. But if you are finding those that looks like model or actress, then sorry to say, u are right.
but i realise that most of my gal friends sign up NIE recently.... Perhaps can intro u lor.
But dun expect model figure or face la. Just normal gal. ok?
Originally posted by Bak la va:
Wei, dun be so down...... happy to say that my peers around me not like that. But if you are finding those that looks like model or actress, then sorry to say, u are right.but i realise that most of my gal friends sign up NIE recently.... Perhaps can intro u lor.
But dun expect model figure or face la. Just normal gal. ok?
NIE i think alot young gals sign up LOL
Hi
Someone called me to go to his church to meet up his friends. join a cell group and get to know more people. miracle would come. he said. ok.. thats all.. thanks everyone. i take everyone's word as a pinch of salt here..
You guys take care. Im closing this negative nickname "wontwannadiesingle". i wont die single, i wont let that happen.. haha..
I exercised today... ran 3 km today.. panted like an animal after 40 mins. Im arranging to do gym at my uncle's place this weekend as well. gonna plan to do this more often. im gonna pick up another hobby, not sure what yet. its planned. Im forsaking computer games- playing it less now. Im calling the cell phone numbers in my contact to arrange more meet up with friends. i just did.. 3 numbers.. only 2 picked up. one had his numbers changed. all not free.. : (.. I will try to meet more people by begging some people to bring more people for me to meet. guys or gals welcome..
I could see myself hitting the salary range soon when the boss yesterday, says he could give me a salary increment if im able to pick up in my job soon enough, He is grooming me as a future manager. he says. Im working hard now to make it happen soon, by year end.. i must and i will.
Im feeling good already
You guys take care.
Amen.