Opinions from guys (or girls) point of view?
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Originally posted by Rock^Star:
U know...he got stunned when u confessed and then he said he "will give give u an ans soon". In other words, this came as a shock to him, he's unsure of his feelings for u and he needs some time to cool and think about it, in case he makes a wrong decision.Then he says he's not ready for a r/s. That to me, is pretty lame but a gentlemanly reason to tell u "ur not the one".
Ur fren seems to me like a person who forces himself to be calm and collected (well, he seems to be doing quite well). He tries his best to incorporate rationality in his thoughts. Even if he told u he has thought of u.....it seems more like stemming from guilt but definitely not the "bastard leading u on". He seems like a pretty disciplined person.
Oh well anyway, he does seem really difficult to chase cos he doesn't believe in coming out alone with a gal. There are people made for people in this world, so he may well just not be the one "whom u will end up with".
What do you mean by being 'lame'? in what way? And what's with the guilt. He hasnt done anything wrong? Or rather, i dont think so, in my point of view.
Do you believe the saying about 男追女隔层山， 女追男隔层纱？
The future is always unknown. And if he's not the one, i'm sure i'll meet my Mr Right one day :)
Thank you very much for your reply. It seems really logical to me :)
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Originally posted by R-emo:
From what i've heard from GUYS, most guys actually like girls to take initiative.
Blame it on me for being ignorance. But judging from your username, i dont recall seeing any GUYS name that start with val. So if that's the case, telling me you will never like any girl who confesses to you seems like something NORMAL. But then again, if no GUYS name start with val & yours do, if you will like to confess to girl, maybe you reply the wrong thread? Do read the title of this thread again.
Not that i'm against homo, in fact i'll still respect them because they're just being themselves. Nevertheless, i will not respect people who dont respect themselves to start with. And to be frank, even if people like YOU, who want to reply to this thread, they're most welcome because i'll treat all with respect as long as they respect themselves too. And definitely, i'm grateful that people are actually willing to take time to read the thread & reply.
By the way, you say normally. Sadly, most people like to tell me that i'm always the exception. I'm confident of myself, and by confessing, it further prove the point. At least i dont feel upset with my look & have the courage to confess. I wont hide at one side crying over my look, be it good or bad.
Last but not least, not all people are like SOME, who is so SUPERFICIAL & only love the SURFACE. If you fall into that category, i feel for you. You've NEVER love anyone truly.
Do search for the inner beauty of the others. For some may look good on the outside but sucky inside, & vice versa.
Thanks for your reply.
doesnt change the fact that you are desperate and cheap. the more a girl shows me she likes me and gets all clingy and keeps calling the more sick i get of her. you cant be pretty. no pretty, self loving girl would pursue a guy in that manner. i get chased around a lot by really ugly girls so i know. only ugly girls chase. pretty girls are reserved and get chased instead cause they know they are attractive and guys flock to them instead of the other way round. anyway, you are being dumb for taking a long time to type all that shit out for a guy who doesnt even care about you. dumb slut. -
Originally posted by val.:
doesnt change the fact that you are desperate and cheap. the more a girl shows me she likes me and gets all clingy and keeps calling the more sick i get of her. you cant be pretty. no pretty, self loving girl would pursue a guy in that manner. i get chased around a lot by really ugly girls so i know. only ugly girls chase. pretty girls are reserved and get chased instead cause they know they are attractive and guys flock to them instead of the other way round. anyway, you are being dumb for taking a long time to type all that shit out for a guy who doesnt even care about you. dumb slut.Not sure if the above applies to all ugly gals. Coincidentally, the friend I mentioned earlier falls into the category you mentioned above.
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got what. valentino, valsil, val kilmer, vincent valedon, vincent valdez, valiere... i can still name more leh... want?
anyways i think val. was abit rude tho i hate to admit; there's some grain of truth in what he said. women who come on too strong are quite a turn off. and please dun get me wrong i'm not saying you are in particular.
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Originally posted by newcomer:
got what. valentino, valsil, val kilmer, vincent valedon, vincent valdez, valiere... i can still name more leh... want?
anyways i think val. was abit rude tho i hate to admit; there's some grain of truth in what he said. women who come on too strong are quite a turn off. and please dun get me wrong i'm not saying you are in particular.
Yes I agree.. any person who come on too strong is a big turn off.
That's why one must master the Art of SEDUCTION.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Yes I agree.. any person who come on too strong is a big turn off.
That's why one must master the Art of SEDUCTION.
oh noes.... jojo gonna seduce you to the dark side -
diam lah
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LOL
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Originally posted by R-emo:
What do you mean by being 'lame'? in what way? And what's with the guilt. He hasnt done anything wrong? Or rather, i dont think so, in my point of view.
Do you believe the saying about 男追女隔层山， 女追男隔层纱？
The future is always unknown. And if he's not the one, i'm sure i'll meet my Mr Right one day :)
Thank you very much for your reply. It seems really logical to me :)
"I'm not ready for a r/s" is a very common way of rejection. And lame because it's not true most of the time. It's a way of not hurting the other party.There was this girl who liked me and when I expressed, she said she's "not ready for a r/s". But it was not a form of rejection....because her fondness for me signals were clear, it's just that she had a bad r/s which ended terribly just a few months back.
Your case, the guy is hardly even showing the faintest of signals and even rejected u....that is after he has rationalised his thoughts.
Guilty because he felt he has hurt u.
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Originally posted by val.:
doesnt change the fact that you are desperate and cheap. the more a girl shows me she likes me and gets all clingy and keeps calling the more sick i get of her. you cant be pretty. no pretty, self loving girl would pursue a guy in that manner. i get chased around a lot by really ugly girls so i know. only ugly girls chase. pretty girls are reserved and get chased instead cause they know they are attractive and guys flock to them instead of the other way round. anyway, you are being dumb for taking a long time to type all that shit out for a guy who doesnt even care about you. dumb slut.There's a lot of truth in what u say but calling someone a dumb slut when she is down is so unwarranted. She has already made it clear she wants to know 1) his stand 2) his thoughts. When someone is in the picture, that person cannot see the picture.
Who's the dumb shit here now, eh?
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lol
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Originally posted by val.:
doesnt change the fact that you are desperate and cheap. the more a girl shows me she likes me and gets all clingy and keeps calling the more sick i get of her. you cant be pretty. no pretty, self loving girl would pursue a guy in that manner. i get chased around a lot by really ugly girls so i know. only ugly girls chase. pretty girls are reserved and get chased instead cause they know they are attractive and guys flock to them instead of the other way round. anyway, you are being dumb for taking a long time to type all that shit out for a guy who doesnt even care about you. dumb slut.What is this? What right do you have to call someone a dumb slut? She is not exactly going around to sleep with guys, is she?
People have the rights to post things here without being insulted openly.
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Originally posted by val.:
doesnt change the fact that you are desperate and cheap. the more a girl shows me she likes me and gets all clingy and keeps calling the more sick i get of her. you cant be pretty. no pretty, self loving girl would pursue a guy in that manner. i get chased around a lot by really ugly girls so i know. only ugly girls chase. pretty girls are reserved and get chased instead cause they know they are attractive and guys flock to them instead of the other way round. anyway, you are being dumb for taking a long time to type all that shit out for a guy who doesnt even care about you. dumb slut.1) in what stand are you at to say that i'm desperate & cheap?
2) does calling a friend like once or twice a week, or maybe a few weeks once mean clingy?
3) just by confessing ONCE & never mention it to him again means showing more that i like him?
4) and by just treat him as per normal like i've always does over the past one year = pursuing a guy in whatever manner you mean (which i dont understand WHICH manner you mean anyway)
5) i didnt take a long time to type that out anyway, in case your WPM is only a single digit and you think i'm just like you.
6) base on studies (please google around if you're so ill-knowledged), ONLY people who feel ill-secure with themselves will go around calling others name.
7) Congratulation to you this lucky...err...guy?...girl?...hmm....you really confuse me. Anyway, you're one lucky bugger with ALOT of people chasing after you. Do you mean it as you owe them something & they run after you for it?
8) if you dont mean it that way, i feel sad for girls who chase after you. They must be always knocking into lamp post. Do they always wear spec with THICK lenses? They must have dropped it when they're chasing you. Please tell them to be more careful next time, lest they'll trip & fall cause they cant see clearly.
9) you seems to be pretty insecure with your life. For all you can do is assuming, looking at things on the surface, & jumping into conclusion. do you really look THAT terrible to be so lack of confidence?
10) a dumb slut, as labelled by you, dont 'deserve' such attention by you, this seemingly handsome guy/pretty girl. why are you even wasting your time replying anyway? shouldnt you be busy running around cause there's so many people chasing after you? How come you've time to sit down in front of the computer to read forum? Hmm...
P.S.: oh no! you've just wasted your precious time by reading my reply again. apology. please continue running :)
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Originally posted by R-emo:
1) in what stand are you at to say that i'm desperate & cheap?
2) does calling a friend like once or twice a week, or maybe a few weeks once mean clingy?
3) just by confessing ONCE & never mention it to him again means showing more that i like him?
4) and by just treat him as per normal like i've always does over the past one year = pursuing a guy in whatever manner you mean (which i dont understand WHICH manner you mean anyway)
5) i didnt take a long time to type that out anyway, in case your WPM is only a single digit and you think i'm just like you.
6) base on studies (please google around if you're so ill-knowledged), ONLY people who feel ill-secure with themselves will go around calling others name.
7) Congratulation to you this lucky...err...guy?...girl?...hmm....you really confuse me. Anyway, you're one lucky bugger with ALOT of people chasing after you. Do you mean it as you owe them something & they run after you for it?
8) if you dont mean it that way, i feel sad for girls who chase after you. They must be always knocking into lamp post. Do they always wear spec with THICK lenses? They must have dropped it when they're chasing you. Please tell them to be more careful next time, lest they'll trip & fall cause they cant see clearly.
9) you seems to be pretty insecure with your life. For all you can do is assuming, looking at things on the surface, & jumping into conclusion. do you really look THAT terrible to be so lack of confidence?
10) a dumb slut, as labelled by you, dont 'deserve' such attention by you, this seemingly handsome guy/pretty girl. why are you even wasting your time replying anyway? shouldnt you be busy running around cause there's so many people chasing after you? How come you've time to sit down in front of the computer to read forum? Hmm...
P.S.: oh no! you've just wasted your precious time by reading my reply again. apology. please continue running :)
Girl, relax.. there's plenty of losers like Val around.
He's just one of them.. come online to insult people.
I'm very sure in real life.. he is just another nerdy no lifer.
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Originally posted by newcomer:
got what. valentino, valsil, val kilmer, vincent valedon, vincent valdez, valiere... i can still name more leh... want?
anyways i think val. was abit rude tho i hate to admit; there's some grain of truth in what he said. women who come on too strong are quite a turn off. and please dun get me wrong i'm not saying you are in particular.
errrrr. do those sounds like names Singaporean will have? I thought this is a SgForums? Singapore's Online Community? Oh, i forgot. Singapore do have foreigners too :)
i do agree to some parts of what he says. like 'pretty girls are reserved and get chased instead cause they know they are attractive and guys flock to them instead of the other way round.' sad to speak, human beings all have a superficial side. And that includes me.
I'm not perfect. And definitely not right all the time. I accept feedbacks & comments. From which i'll learn to change to be a better person. Then again, not all can take negatives feedback, MAYBE for eg....mr/ms/mrs/mdm val.? i'm not sure! And i wont want to stereotype like he/she does.
oh, and he/she didnt really keep to the same stand about stating that 'normally ugly girls do the chase' to 'only ugly girls chase', did he/she?
Anyway, do i sounds like i'm coming on too strong? Apology. But frankly, do you respect people who respect neither others nor themselves?
Thanks for the reply :)
*R-emo walks off for self-reflection*
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Originally posted by R-emo:
errrrr. do those sounds like names Singaporean will have? I thought this is a SgForums? Singapore's Online Community? Oh, i forgot. Singapore do have foreigners too :)
i do agree to some parts of what he says. like 'pretty girls are reserved and get chased instead cause they know they are attractive and guys flock to them instead of the other way round.' sad to speak, human beings all have a superficial side. And that includes me.
I'm not perfect. And definitely not right all the time. I accept feedbacks & comments. From which i'll learn to change to be a better person. Then again, not all can take negatives feedback, MAYBE for eg....mr/ms/mrs/mdm val.? i'm not sure! And i wont want to stereotype like he/she does.
oh, and he/she didnt really keep to the same stand about stating that 'normally ugly girls do the chase' to 'only ugly girls chase', did he/she?
Anyway, do i sounds like i'm coming on too strong? Apology. But frankly, do you respect people who respect neither others nor themselves?
Thanks for the reply :)
*R-emo walks off for self-reflection*
r-emo,
Do you know what are your strength and weaknesses ?
Do you know what kind of girl that guy likes ?
Do you know how to pick your battle so you have a bigger chance of victory ?
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Originally posted by Rock^Star:
"I'm not ready for a r/s" is a very common way of rejection. And lame because it's not true most of the time. It's a way of not hurting the other party.There was this girl who liked me and when I expressed, she said she's "not ready for a r/s". But it was not a form of rejection....because her fondness for me signals were clear, it's just that she had a bad r/s which ended terribly just a few months back.
Your case, the guy is hardly even showing the faintest of signals and even rejected u....that is after he has rationalised his thoughts.
Guilty because he felt he has hurt u.
Thanks, now i understand more. Previously really is clueless to what you're saying :) and sadly, i do fall into the category of 'not ready for a r/s' too. Which i've told him that also. He has his life while i have mine. In which i'm really busy with as well and i'm not too sure if i can commit myself. Though i confessed, i didnt want to misled him either.
Anyway, indeed. I'm blinded when it comes to my own matter. But i can always have a clear view of others matter so i do have alot of friends coming to me when they faced problems themselves. I'm AA among my friends, haha.
Oh, by the way, i wasnt down. Just curious to his stand & thinking. In fact, i wasnt really hurt because i already anticipated his answer so i was prepared for it. But like most, just stubbornly want him to tell me personally, haha.
Thanks for your reply :)
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Originally posted by rainee:
What is this? What right do you have to call someone a dumb slut? She is not exactly going around to sleep with guys, is she?
People have the rights to post things here without being insulted openly.
errrr, do you mean that can be insulted in secret? lol.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
r-emo,
Do you know what are your strength and weaknesses ?
Do you know what kind of girl that guy likes ?
Do you know how to pick your battle so you have a bigger chance of victory ?
Haha, i'm not agitated to begin with. Just find it amusing.
And hey! You got me thinking. More or less i do have an idea. Just that i never piece those random thoughts together.
Thanks for highlighting them to me :)
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Originally posted by R-emo:
Hi all, a new-comer here. Just hope to hear some opinions from guys (or girls) point of view with regards to the situation.
Before i go into anything, i'll just state my belief first.
I'm sure alot out there heard of this before: In life, there'll always be three people in your life. The one you love the most. The one that love you the most. And the one that you eventually end up with. Most of the time, they wont be the same person. And if he/she is, congrats :)
Ok, do pardon the length. Here goes.
I came to know of this guy, let's name him, W, last year. To me, he's just a normal friend then. We message occassionally. Sometimes daily, depends if there's anything to chat about or not. (By the way, he's in ns now)
He'd kind of accompanied me through some highs & lows in life, since i'll pretty much message him when i'm bored. So it kind of becomes a 'habit' to message him. This 'habit' pretty much lasted for a year.
He's shy in person, but pretty lame when messaging. We'd never gone out together before. Not one-on-one (due to his religious belief that guy & girl shouldnt hang out one-on-one, & i respect that), neither in a group. I did see him once in a blue moon when there's service. But nothing else from there.
As a friend, i'm guilty but to say, i've flare up at him alot of times with some trivial things. I'll ignore his messages & even treating him invisible in person. Then when i shimmer down a few days later, i'll just message him as per normal like nothing ever happens.
But all the while, he'd never, NEVER ever get angry with me before. This really amaze me. Seriously, even at times i find myself really unreasonable & i cannot stand myself. I really wonder how he manage to bear with me. He told me that he'd been a pretty short-tempered person. But he'd learn not to get angry easily.
I dont know. I think that pretty much started things? I mean, which friends dont quarrel? Who wont hurl hurtful remarks at each other when angry? He never did. And slowly, lately, i realised i started to develop feeling for him, STRANGELY ENOUGH. Since he doesnt really fall into the catgory of the type of guy i'll fall for. It's just very mild feeling, but i noticed it.
I still remembered i once told him, i wanted a 'house-husband'. Someone who would do the housework. And he replied that he's fine with doing housework. And though he dont know how to cook, he's willing to learn. He seems like the 'perfect' guy for me. I have to say, as i've earlier stated, i believe he'll fall into the third category. The one that i'll hope to end up with eventually, since, like i say, the feeling is very mild. And i know he wont be the one i'm going to love most. But i think up till date, he's the one that suit me the most.
As i'm really afraid to fall deeper & get rejection (yes, i agreed i'm selfish), i decided to 'test water'. So just when i realise i've feeling for him, a day or two later, i decided to confess. But just in case, i 'tested water' the whole day. So i asked him if he'll accept a girl if she confessed. He replied that it'll depends on who she is, & i was like 'but if you dont like dont even need to depends what? just reject', which he agreed upon. After which he just stopped replying, saying that he doesnt feel really comfortable talking about bgr matters.
That's it. I've the 'do it now or never' mentality. So i just confessed, via sms. I didnt really goes to him with 'i-like-you' kind of thing. But i just do it my way which he understands anyway. He was stunned. And told me he'll give me an answer soon. Which he did next day afternoon. He rejected me saying that he dont intend to go into a r/s now or anytime soon. To avoid any awkward & continue to be friend, & to be truthful, i just told him that i'm not really serious & the feeling is really mild & i was just being really random & laugh it off.
Right now, we're back into the friend zone. However, there seems to be a barrier somewhere. Since then, i called him pretty often. Nothing better to do, you see. Just bored, as usual. I assume he's pretty bored too in ns? Assume. There was once when he, too, told me that he thought of me & wanted to call me, but didnt in the end. Anyway, i summarise the story & told a guy friend of mine. Who say that W is just a bastard trying to lead me on. Which i do agree with abit. How can anyone reject a girl already still say will think of her? But i think W is just not such a person? He doesnt seems like. Cause he seems like the pretty good listener & good friend to other friends too.
Anyway, since the confession, we still message as per normal. Most of the sms-es are initiated by me, as usual, but sometimes he'll just message me too. However, lately he hasnt been picking up my calls anymore. Though he'll still message me after that asking if i'd called him & so on. He just say he's not able to, the phone not beside him, he's busy, not convenient in ns, etc. I just absorb everything, with the thinking that he's just avoiding me & refusing to pick up those calls (i guess most will agree with me over here). And well, i just take it as it is.
So the last time i called him was on last Saturday. Which he pick up & didnt bother messaging me back after that. And on Sunday, i decided not to message him. But at night, he messaged to apologise that he's really sorry about not being able to pick up the calls lately, in which, i didnt reply back. We havent been in contact these few days. He didnt bother taking initiative to message me also, neither did i.
So right now, i'm just wondering, what's his stand?
Maybe is just i think too much. But he'd absolutely no interest in me. Fret not, i'm all ready to move on. And in fact i'm not staying at the same spot? At least i dont feel hurt or what.
Just that i'm wondering, what he's actually thinking?
Will you guys be able to give me your two penny thoughts from your point of view?
Thank you very much, and sorry for the lengthy...essay? Apology.
Maybe....he will also think like u....no hard feelings...like...just as a penpal...? I m not mocking at ur feelings..but this also possible to happen...rite?
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well, he could be sick and tired of you being so dependent on him or giving him crap. he could be leading you on. he could be just not ready for a r/s.
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R-emo, i didn't read the 3 pages of replies so I'm not sure if someone has said something similar.
From a guy's point of view i think he is attracted to you in some way but the feeling is also mild. He sounds like a pretty nice guy to me.. goes for service, willing to learn to cook etc etc.
I was just wondering if he's the kind of guy that doesn't mix around much with girls? Because honestly, I think its quite a poor reason he doesn't think he should hang out with a girl one-on-one due to religious beliefs. If its a friend, its a friend. Why bother if its a guy or a girl? Sure seems to me that he's got some issues mixing with people of the opposite sex. Maybe that's the reason why he rejected you.
Like you said he's a little shy... probably a little too shy then. -
just another friends to hang out with..
not totally serious to start a r/s with u