Part 1 of my life
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The butt of the joke is that it took you 5 long years to come to this realization?
Some words of wisdom for you 'don't get married for the wrong reasons'. I'm not rooting for anyone to jump ship at first sign when something isn't right - but if you realized that there're some significant issues in the relationships (or serious character flaws in your partner), then it's really time to take a step back to reexamine the plans.
Marriage is lifelong; and a divorce proved to be more difficult and painful. Don't even take the wrong step, may you have the wisdom to cut your losses whenever necessary
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HelloKittyFan,
This song 女人心事 is specially for you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNpFdC0mIOE
"曾� 我也痛过 我也�过 怨过放弃过
在自己的房间里 觉得幸��弃我别怕�春消� 就�信�纯的美梦
我在这岸看ç�€ä½ 游
ä¸ºä½ çš„å�šæŒ�感动
ä½ ä¼šçš„ 有一天会幸ç¦�çš„" -
this guy sucked, no care and concern give you. Yet giving you so much problems... like comparing and giving unwanted comments... he sucked.
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Hi,
i support the suggestion to ignore him for awhile. he has taken u for granted so u must show him that subconciously, u r still impt to him.
unfortunately he is also very possessive. usually this is a sign of someone insecure about aspects of his life, he also has the need to feel important in front of u.
its good that u r complaining. the day u stop complaining will be the day u give up.
good luck ;)
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Why did you let this guy become your fiance???
One more time he said he wants to spend a night with those girls in retail shop, you tell him straight in the face, go ahead, see whether they want you or not.
And then walk away. Do not turn back. Ever.
Trust me, you won't regret this.
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ya lah.
ur dignity let dog eat liao izit.
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u know.. it's going to be hard letting someone who has been ard and part of ur life for 5 years.. it's like an addiction.. and an unhealthy one at that..
u're gonna get the withdrawal symptoms.. but after the withdrawal symptoms are over.. it's a brand new life..
ditch him.. get a better guy.. or even a pet..
a pet will love and appreciate u if u care for it.. not this guy..
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Originally posted by HelloKittyFan:
jojobeach, you hit a nail.
He does like to keep telling me he's been like that since Day One, esp his stubbornness nature.
He told me if I can't take it, I can leave. I ????Ah girl ah,
5 years of torment is nothing compared to a lifetime of suffering ok ?
You can cry.. you will grieve.. you will get depressed.. it's all part of the healing process.
You will feel lonely, your life will seem meaningless.. by hey. you survived before you met him didn't ya ?
It's time to try out other flavors.. date other men... live life again.
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Originally posted by HelloKittyFan:
I do desperately need a break, I jus gave him a text, telling him we dun mit up for the time being.What was his reply?
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"for thy's seed of love have fallen on rotten land, never will it grow into a healthy tree"
seek not the comfort of an uneven love, the brute of an unjust man whose character is as foul as cow's ditch . seek a mate soul breathes thy air and reads thy mind, who loves you the way you are meant to be loved. not taken for granted and chucked away when unavailing.the family of a festering pig, for the fruit does not fall far from the tree deserve neither pity nor love. if a farrow is as filthy as the rubbish chute, a sow won't be far away gobbling on rubbish.
endowed with barbaric ethics, he is not worthy of your love and devotion. unless you considered thyself as worthless, if not; leave and set yourself free from the depths of hell and torture.
Please heed our pleas...
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After reading your posts, i can't help but to feel for you. You really need a break from this relationship. A break to give you a breather, a clear mind and time to think about all these things. It takes two hands to clap and it takes efforts from both parties in a relationship to make it work. Your fiance has certainly been insensitive to your feelings during the course of your relationship and has not even tried to put himself in your shoes.
Learning to let go of certain things is very hard. Especially when it comes to a relatrionship because of the responsibility that we have towards the relationship as well as the guilt that we may feel towards the other party. But maybe it's time to let go off this relationship le. Don't make yourself go through such agony le.
é•¿ç—›ä¸�如çŸç—›. You must jiayous orh =]
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Relationships don't have to be a bed of roses but eventually, do you see a satisfying r/s with a happy man down the road?
If that possibility is nowhere in sight after 5 years, I think not.
It's best to evaluate the value of this r/s and try answering your own questions objectively. Break it down.
What foundation is your r/s built upon?
Mutual support for each other? Partnership? Trust?
Is your sex life still satisfying?
Are you still attracted to him? Does he still rock your world in bed?
Disagreements are common but if the bickering is wearing you out and he's constantly making nasty remarks, then it's definitely going down hill.
He mentioned he will commit a month's paycheck to sexy women on the streets, I wouldn't worry if I were you because he doesn't sound like the type with the goods the pull that one off. Being in a r/s doesn't mean you stop being attracted to others, so the red flag, imho, is the resentment building up inside of him. He sounds like he's seething from something.
What about yourself?
Do you want to meet new people or are you be satisfied with just him on your horizon. Forever?
Since the both of you run in the same family and social circles, why don't you seek second opinions from family and close friends? What do they think of him?
We usually put on our best behaviour in the dating stage, so it's common to expect 50% less after marriage. And even then, most guys will respect their gfs and wives. I have close friends heading into their sixth year anniversaries with their girlfriends and I don't see their r/s disintegrating as badly as yours.
I'd bail if I were you. I'm of the opinion men never dump women, they just display all the signals, then wait for you to walk away.
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this kind of man want for fucK?????
U crazy??
treat u with ZERO respect, u still want???
Go sit down and ask urself wat kind of man u deserve
I treat my gf as properly as possible, i not working can only bring her to mac, long john, at most sake sushi
she dun mind, i can afford . everything is well
That man is still a man???
take u as a bloody punching bag u still want???
his anger , his attitude everything is his problem and he takes it ALL out on you
i never ever take it out on my gf, my problem i settle myself watever problem, badmood, problem with frens i never grumble nor say anything foul to her
i always tried to maintain hapiness with her, advoid spoiling her mood
A man will solve his problem himselve, not take it out on his beloved . He will be able to control his emotions and talk abt it
He is a man but a boy at heart
do u not fear that he will caused u more harm?
do u not fear that he will rob you of your youth?
A women youth is limited
cant agree enought with purpledragon
even dog care abt their owner when they are sad
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Hi there again. I was reading a particular article and found some of what it said worth pondering. For your reference:
Regardless of his appearance in society, her needs aren't important to him. In fact they are a downright nuisance.
If I ever expressed dissatisfaction in the relationships, or anything having to do with my needs being met within our union he would react with a put-down of me rather than seeing the possibility that he was contributing to the problem. Normally I experienced a voicelessness, never really feeling seen or heard, which was what I had experienced as a child. So instead of telling myself that I deserved to be seen and heard, I would plummet into those familiar old emotions that reminded me that I wasn't really worthy enough to be truly visible.
This is the difference between a narcissistic personality and one who is not. A narcissist can't put himself in his partners shoes. He can't imagine what it might be like to be on the other side of the situation. He can only see it from his own perspective, which is a perspective that completely lets him off the hook and puts 100% of the responsibility upon his partner.
The horror I experienced within the relationship was nothing compared to the devastation of leaving. It was during this time that I had to come to the true realization that I had been living a lie and had invested years of my life enforcing this illusion. Suddenly his image of the consistent partner gave way to a rage that I had never before seen in him, yet intuitively I always sensed it was there.
The abuse came in the form of constant invalidation of my reality until I came to invalidate my own reality. I lost trust in myself and my ability to know what the truth was in any given situation. I became dependent upon him for his version of reality so I could make sense of what was going on in my life.
There are a two signs: He doesn't believe he is at fault for anything. He has a certain air of superiority. There are also other obvious signs such as haughty body postures, eccentricity, a charasmatic presence, highly confident appearance, intense and invasive sexual energy, a casual interest in me in order to get something they want, in some I notice a need to constantly talk about themselves, others are quiet and introverted. The most important detection devise is the way I feel. I feel anxious, drained, on guard, inadequate, frustrated, and confused. I think those are the kind of signs we need to listen to the most. How do we feel? Once we learn to trust our own feelings we stop selling our reality for the narcissistic illusion. It is then we are able to call back our power and stop playing into the hands of one who doesn't have our best interest at heart.
http://ezinearticles.com/?The-High-Functioning-Narcissist&id=1373264
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Dear HelloKittyFan,
I do hope you feel better after crying. Then again, I hope that after feeling better at this cry, you would not feel silly at yourself for "kicking up such a big fuss" and doubt whether this matter is really that heavy after all. My personal experience is that after being stifled for so long, at times when I do feel better, I felt strange. Subconsciously, it was as if I am not supposed to feel light and happy! Don't let this soften your will power as you have said, to want to leave.
Like what above forumnites have said, it's not easy on your part to let go of him. Purpledragon84 has put it. It's like an addiction, and an unhealthy one at that. There will be withdrawal symptoms after leaving.
Originally posted by purpledragon84:u know.. it's going to be hard letting someone who has been ard and part of ur life for 5 years.. it's like an addiction.. and an unhealthy one at that..
u're gonna get the withdrawal symptoms.. but after the withdrawal symptoms are over.. it's a brand new life..
ditch him.. get a better guy.. or even a pet..
a pet will love and appreciate u if u care for it.. not this guy..
And like what jojobeach said, 5 years of misery is nothing compared to a lifetime of suffering.
Originally posted by jojobeach:Ah girl ah,
5 years of torment is nothing compared to a lifetime of suffering ok ?
You can cry.. you will grieve.. you will get depressed.. it's all part of the healing process.
You will feel lonely, your life will seem meaningless.. by hey. you survived before you met him didn't ya ?
It's time to try out other flavors.. date other men... live life again.
So do you think you can afford to be çº ç¼ ä¸�清 with him?
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Hi all,
I understood and noted all the posts here; thx to all.
I was attending to some stuff, dats y the late reply; apologies.
Rite now, I am listening to My Love Will Get U Home by Christine Glass.
As I am typing, tears are flowing as well...
It's a nice touching song.If you wonder off too far, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong stars, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself lost and all alone, get back on feet and think of me,
My Love Will Get You Home lyrics on
http://music.yeucahat.com/song/English/2525-My-Love-Will-Get-You-Home~Christine-Glass.html
my love will get you home, boy, my love will get you home.
If the bright lights blind your eyes, my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stripe, my love will get you home
Love is supposed to be one of the greatest feelings ever, one of the supporting strengths in Life....
I guess, in my case, it's a big No No..
Mayb it's wo zhi zao de..
5 yrs could be considered short, can be considered long as well..
I am lost, I am confused, I have no mood to do anything..
I jus wanna rot my day away..
I know I need a break, I am getting one later..
I have booked a tix, heading overseas later in the day..
I jus wanna go to a place, where no one knows me, sort out my thinking, den come back and carry on with Life again. A Life w/o him...
This will be the last reply to this thread, thx to all.
Mayb for 5 yrs I am a blind gal, mayb for 5 yrs I have been silly, mayb for 5 yrs I have been utterly stupid..
Who doesn't want a happy ending? I wan too, but fate doesn't allow it.
No matter how my Love Life has been, I wish all the couples in the world Happily Ever After. I wish all gals will have their happines which they are 'entitled' to.
JiaYOu! -
Good luck to u and Wishing you all the best.
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One question are u from np .
business course ?
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Originally posted by HelloKittyFan:
Hi all,
I understood and noted all the posts here; thx to all.
I was attending to some stuff, dats y the late reply; apologies.
Rite now, I am listening to My Love Will Get U Home by Christine Glass.
As I am typing, tears are flowing as well...
It's a nice touching song.If you wonder off too far, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong stars, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself lost and all alone, get back on feet and think of me,
My Love Will Get You Home lyrics on
http://music.yeucahat.com/song/English/2525-My-Love-Will-Get-You-Home~Christine-Glass.html
my love will get you home, boy, my love will get you home.
If the bright lights blind your eyes, my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stripe, my love will get you home
Love is supposed to be one of the greatest feelings ever, one of the supporting strengths in Life....
I guess, in my case, it's a big No No..
Mayb it's wo zhi zao de..
5 yrs could be considered short, can be considered long as well..
I am lost, I am confused, I have no mood to do anything..
I jus wanna rot my day away..
I know I need a break, I am getting one later..
I have booked a tix, heading overseas later in the day..
I jus wanna go to a place, where no one knows me, sort out my thinking, den come back and carry on with Life again. A Life w/o him...
This will be the last reply to this thread, thx to all.
Mayb for 5 yrs I am a blind gal, mayb for 5 yrs I have been silly, mayb for 5 yrs I have been utterly stupid..
Who doesn't want a happy ending? I wan too, but fate doesn't allow it.
No matter how my Love Life has been, I wish all the couples in the world Happily Ever After. I wish all gals will have their happines which they are 'entitled' to.
JiaYOu!I wish u all the best too, dearie! Do come back soon & start a new life - w/o him!
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silly girl leh!
u still rmb my last post? abt my friend going back to that jerk?? haven't u saw those objections made by the others? as in how she shouldn't go back to him..abt how a leopard cannot change its spots..
is the same as for ur case..if u know that this guy isn't good to u..y do u still stick to him?..
i was taken aback when i saw this : "No hold hands = dun love him."
>> is he a MCP or he's simply childish? =.=''' no offense ah..but i don't think a mature man will have that kind of thinking..love is express through other ways & not by whether a couple is holding hands constantly or not..
but..the final decision still lies with u bah..is ur life & u choose ur own path..
will pray for the best for u =)
people can only give u advise..the choice still lies with u ultimately..go thru the pros & cons..think abt the possibility of a future with this guy..& how's life going to be if u still cont. with him..& most imptly..does he deserves u? does he appreciate what u have done for him?..
no offense again..bt he really sound childish & selfish..taking u for granted..really feel that he doesn't deserve u..
haiish..lots of jerks out there..
"My fault, cos I dunno how to reject him, reject to help him." >> is just that u r too kind to reject him..don't blame it on yourself..
anyway..cheer up k =D
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Cheer up soon okies =] a smile is the best comestic that god has given all the girls so try to make use of it often XD
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leave him and the terrible feeling will be gone and you can start anew!
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It takes two hands to clap.
I wonder what's wrong with TS.
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i wish people would stop using irritating cliches like, it takes 2 hands to clap. if there's no way to go around this, can we at least turn it around, say, "what's the sound of one hand clapping?"
thanks.
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Originally posted by soleachip:
i wish people would stop using irritating cliches like, it takes 2 hands to clap. if there's no way to go around this, can we at least turn it around, say, "what's the sound of one hand clapping?"
thanks.
The sound of singlehood - snap(fingers)Even the above, need two.