well, u really got yourself in this big fat mess. one thing i dont quite understand, why dont u use the rubber? u can get it from the seven eleven store and it is not that expensive right?
if u are still under 21 years old of age then i think there are not many thing u can do and also there are not many document u can sign. u need your parent consent. they are your guardian, if u are in trouble, so are they. i suggest u should go back and talk to them and see how can they help.
you said your gf went missing. did u call her parent? how about her close friend? i think u need to go look for her.
maybe u should respect your gf opinion about the baby. look like she doesnt wanna go for an abortion. let her deliver the baby first and then fighre out what to do next or give it away later.
i remember i saw an advertisment on tv about teen pragnancy where u can look for help. too bad i cant remember the number but this is what i found on the internet, think u can give them a call for help. AG Teen pragnancy and young mums unit, telephone 6348-5674.
Keep dating her until ur parents get used to it. Trust me, one day they will really get used to her
:]
Dude you got urself in deep shit. But fear not, nothing is unsolvable.
Dump the bitch and carry on living your life.
she stuck me with a wooden chair,objects and a knife deep into luckily my forearm. I was send to 24 clinic to get the stab stitched. I have the records and scars on me to proved. So who is bullying who.
Base on the violent behavior ALONE, it is reason enough to dump her.
She casually called me and said she will have sex with other guys and find a new person. She doest need me and will not return and will survive.
This too is enough to dump her 10 times over, dude. To add, the stealing incident? Steal from within the family tree? That is like a scum to the society. For god sake, if you need to, steal from an outsider!
So i ask you, whats her saving grace?
Now let us move on. You mentioned that you are from a good family background, yet currently you have financial difficulty. So the only conclusion would be you are still schooling perhaps? Understand this dude, your good family background is your birthright, your privilege that only a few can get to enjoy. You have access to something called the Parents Fund. Make full use of it. Use it for a good education, use it for a startup funding, use it to bed more chicks. You understand that you are in a good position to be in?
The other advice are crap and this is the only one you need:
Dump the bitch and carry on living your life. Be a realist man, these pple are just giving generic advices on morality. You cannot even be sure if the baby is of your blood. But if its really urs, you might have some trouble if she decides to pursue. The local law is unfortunately not on our side. But since you make it as if she is a dumb, uneducated and ignorant ah lian then you should have nothing to fear. She probably doesnt know of the existant of the protective(over) charter.
You have a good future ahead. Play your cards well.
u MAKAN HER
U CLEAN THE SHIT PLS
DONT ASK HER TO CLEAN THE SHIT FOR U
THAT WAT A REAL MAN SHOULD DO~!!!!!!!!!
you already made your decision. so what do you need from us?
Originally posted by Le Toro:Dear All,
Please bear with me. I have no one else to turn to. And hope someone could give me good sound advise or solution to the problem. I am very deeply traumatized and stressed now.
My parents are't fond of my gf. In fact one of my parent hate my gf to the core. And swore to disown me and cut me off completely if i were to marry this girl. One of the few reasons for this are my gf are from a inferior and a lower class society. In fact, this is nothing serious. The major part is she is a very slow person and not very street smart either. In other words, a hindrance and a burden in life. Not only that, she is very weak in health and is loaded with all kinds of little little minor illness. Any guy who have the sane mind to date this type of woman are digging his own grave and only brings more headache more financial stress and other unseen probs.
I do see and understand my parent's harshness for their point on this. They only mean good for me and my future. I do not blame them. And i have moved out from my parents and stay with my friends along with my gf for now.
My gf is expecting now. And i am in a dillemma. Due to unstablity,lack of money,stress on parent unacceptance,and many more other things. I decided best is for her to go for termination for now. She do not want to. And have went missing.
Please advise the best way out for me. Thank you
Are you regretting your decision and is looking for a way out of your relationship?
How come I didn't read how much you LOVED her and want to be with her?
Instead I only end up reading about how slow, weak, and a burden she is to you. If you don't want to be with her, don't have SEX with her and made her pregnant ok?
You deserved to be in all of this and you will learn to pay for it through the hard way.
Don't come and seek help if you don't deserve to be helped.
Originally posted by kingstrife:The other advice are crap and this is the only one you need:
Dump the bitch and carry on living your life. Be a realist man, these pple are just giving generic advices on morality. You cannot even be sure if the baby is of your blood. But if its really urs, you might have some trouble if she decides to pursue. The local law is unfortunately not on our side. But since you make it as if she is a dumb, uneducated and ignorant ah lian then you should have nothing to fear. She probably doesnt know of the existant of the protective(over) charter.
You have a good future ahead. Play your cards well.
we are all climbing different paths through the mountain of life, and we have all experienced much hardship and strife.
there are many paths through the mountain of life, and some climb can be felt like the point of a knife.
some paths are short and others are long, who can say which path is right or wrong?
the beauty of truth is that each path has its own song, and if you listen closely you will find where you belong.
so climb your own path true and strong, but respect all other truths for your way for them could be wrong.
Originally posted by Le Toro:I think i am screwed big time just as you guys said. I guess there is no way out except to kill myself. Both my parents are from the elite society. And there is no way they will accept my so called 'uncivilized' gf and even worse the child. To them, is it a image thing and reputation. And that their socialist/capitalist frens will mock at them and how silly their son has gotten in life. They will disown me 100 percent.
As for me. I do not know wheater i could live with such a abusive ungrateful wife. I caught her stealing one time from her aunt bag. She denied it. And put on a very good show. She was't like this the 1st time we met. All sweet and demure. The stealing part was suspected on me as i was sleeping in that room. I just keep silent as i do not want to exposed my beloved gf. But she show no remorse or help to argue when her aunt said i took it.
As for screwing her, I do not even recall when likely the process taken place. Sex was almost none existance and stressful. I could not even hug her when sleeping.
Haiz..
huh, u mean the kid's not urs? are u ok?
Huat liao lor
Dear friends,
Thank for all your valuable advise. I am sorry that i did not elaborate clearly. I am under extreme stress and duress.
Just to elaborate more so that u all could advise me and have a better idea on my situation.
I do love my gf very much. More than anything else. I do not know why. I cant explain it. If not, why would i left the comfort and protection of my luxury home and faced the harshness of life all by myself. Only a insane person will do that. I have disappointed and let down my parents. I choose to cut all ties with my own family to be with a girl. I have disgraced them. When i walked out of my comfortable home that night..I cried..I love my parents very much too. I have disappoint them. An unfilial ungrateful son.
My gf has changed. She is not the original person i knew once from before. From being very supportive and understanding. She starts abusing me. Both verbally and physically. I could not do anything about it. I could take it. But i could not take humilation from her. It hurt me badly more than anything else. She will degrade me and humilate me in front of many people. Saying things that are untrue and most of time she enjoys to exagarate. Portraying me as the bad guy while she is the angel heroine. Everyday when i walked past my neighbours, i will walk with my head down and endure the dirty looks thrown upon me. I did nothing wrong and nobody really know about my gf true behaivour. I am both mentality stress and physically stress. I am tired and have to work to support her everyday.
There was times, when the police was called in by her. She cried and told the police that i was hurting her and etc etc etc. All i did was to hold her down so that she could not harm me. When she was hold down and could not do anything to me. She started to shout vulgarity and degrading words. I used mine palm to silent her as i do not want our neighbours to be irritated. She told the police that i was suffocating her and was trying to kill her. She couldt breathe and was helpless etc etc and cried like a harmless bi-ch and hided behind the officer acting she was very afraid of me. Nevertheless i was put in the wrong. And was going to be charged by home affairs. Later that bi-ch who had her fun, decided to drop the case. I was off the hook.
I started thinking. Can i live with this changed person long enough? She has changed. And what was the problem with her ? But i was saying to myself. Maybe i give in to her, maybe have a nice talk to her to solve the problem. Nothing works, I even brought a self help book on 'what woman really wants from men" to help save this relationship. She was not open to suggestion nor try to improve herself. I am the one who is constantly changing to suit her. She thinks i am very mafan and a pain in the ass. And disgusting.
Just to explain alittle about her. She was bring up in a very unhealthy background. Her mother has died when she was very young. Her father has left. She was brought up by grandmother. Quit school at very young age. And dated many different guys. Even her health was quite bad. She does drinking from time to time. She did not cared about her own personal well-being. A human walking self destructive person. I readed somewhere if a person doest love him/herself it is impossible for such pple to love others. They have to love themselves first. It is impossible to talked to her and show her affection. I been there done that. In a scale of rating i considered myself to be very nice & understanding person already. A nearly perfect bf i have to say. A sane average joe would have ditch this kind of negative individual off in 3 seconds. When my pay came every end of month. I would bring her out to enjoy alittle and brought her branded stuffs here and then. With the little money i have, i hope and sincerely want her to enjoy the finer things in life and stop being so negative and love each other. Since i live in luxury life before, I do not indulge in it and do not mind. I give it to my gf to enjoy. I start her to learn use branded stuffs like Clinique. I brought a whole set of the package worth 1k plus to pamper and love herself. I brought her a little small diamond ring, high end bags and clothes now and then. After paying rent to my friend. I am left very little money. And was fine with it. I also have a debt of 15k that i occur up from friends when i was very down. I could not afford to pay it back now and most of mine friends shun and avoided me now.
I am not complaining or watever. I just hope that we are united and help each other along to face the hard future. It is all gone now. I told her from the beginning that i will work for the moment and think of something out so that we can get married. A simple marriage would do. But i have to save first and clear debt. Now the rules has changed. She is expecting and i seriously do not have the funds for it. I do not have any money left each month. Sometime have to borrow around again to support the two of us. I am working alone and i am tired. She can go fu ck spider with her resume. It is a joke. I rather her stay at home and keep her mouth shut. I will support her.
I have carefully think and ponder on it..This is wrong timing. I made my decision based on many factors. The results is clearly telling me that termination is the most favourable way. It put an end to everything. And give me time to build up my money. And think wheater really this girl is the one for me long term. Other is i am afraid the child born out will be very weak and sick like her. My plan was to when the time really come. I would buy her health and good tonic to consume.
My planning doest go accordingly. She doest want to..and doest want to listen. I am screwed both ways. As for people saying that i should't do it with her. Please do be realistic . Put two person together under one roof in a bed even if they hate each other to the core. Dun tell me it will not happen.
Stressed
Le Toro
Sorry for explaining very confusingly. I have like a thousands thoughts and sounds coming and leaving my mind now and then. Please feel free to ask me any questions to aid and advise me.
Thank you
You don't fucking place your hand over someone's mouth just to keep someone silent, because it really can suffocate him or her.
From what I can see, the only cause of all these problems and issues you are having is because you think your girlfriend has changed. Why not just go to her, hold her by her shoulders, give her a straight look into the eyes and ask her sincerely, "Why have you changed so much?"
Originally posted by LatecomerX:You don't fucking place your hand over someone's mouth just to keep someone silent, because it really can suffocate him or her.
From what I can see, the only cause of all these problems and issues you are having is because you think your girlfriend has changed. Why not just go to her, hold her by her shoulders, give her a straight look into the eyes and ask her sincerely, "Why have you changed so much?"
What should i do ? Let her shout around like a maniac non-stop for two hours ? My friend in other room is starting to think to kick both of us out.
As i said, It is useless to talk. She will either avoid talking at all and keep silent and make a puck up face. Maybe i am not that well off like in the past. We used to have very happy times together when i have the cash to spend around. Now it is different.
It is not only she has changed..There are many other stressful major factors into play too.
And even if we continue on with this. I have a high feeling we will break off 100 % . Not me initiating it. But my gf initiating it. She once told me she cant stay on too long with any guy. She is bored. She likes to changed often and have excitement. She is something of a person who live for the moment not for the future. So from a two person problems. Become now a three persons problems.
With me bearing all the burden.
Let pause for a moment. Will you take someone like mine gf as your future wife going against your parents ? While you yourself could have a better life from parents support and a better filial and educated girl whom ur parent agreed and doted on like their own? One big happy family together?
Can you tahan 50 years of abuse while u work yourself to death coming to home and your wife who dun appreciated you and spit you in the face. And get stuck into this relationship forever?
Are you willingly to keep forking out with the little money you have left to treat her personal illness bills forever while she sit at home and shake legs. While doest even support or give some moral support to her husband ? Or even a nice word thank you? Or are you tired hubby ?
Will you be tired is she constantly doest want to communicate and share her feelings with you? You will go berserk constantly trying to figure her out. What is she thinking ? etc etc
Will you afraid if one night u are sleeping and she stuck a knife in ur stomach ? Or run away again perhaps with a new guy.
I am sorry. I am tired. I guess my wonderful life is screwed. By fallen in love with the wrong person. There is no way out. Only a dead end.
I am sorry guys. I am tired. Have a good day. Please dun fall into the same situation as me.
Originally posted by LatecomerX:You don't fucking place your hand over someone's mouth just to keep someone silent, because it really can suffocate him or her.
From what I can see, the only cause of all these problems and issues you are having is because you think your girlfriend has changed. Why not just go to her, hold her by her shoulders, give her a straight look into the eyes and ask her sincerely, "Why have you changed so much?"
I think you got the wrong idea, maybe he didnt have a choice.
You are far from self sufficient, a long tedious (evident from the way you post) way from independence.
Moving out was a bad idea in the first place and to make things worse you impregnated a woman you are not even prepared to share your life with.
Instead of dragging yourself down a one way hell hole, you are now at risk of implicating another two.
Please don't.
And save the long boring story of how much you love her but how impossible the situation has become.
You have no magnitude for that kind of sentiment. Consider it your loss.
So spare our ears. Just stick to getting out of this mess.
Le Toro,
Marrying her is out of the question.
Continuing the relationship is out of the question.
Forcing her to abort the baby is out of the question.
She has decided to keep the baby.
And since you have neither the means nor the wish to bear responsibility, then you are in no position to stop her.
You cannot even fend for yourself. You are incapable of supporting her.
Your next step:
Go home to your parents, tell them how you fucked up.
Tell them you are sorry for being an ungrateful asswipe.
Beg for forgiveness.
Go to your girlfriend, apologize for knocking her up.
Tell her it is time to go separate ways.
She can keep the baby if she wants and your only involvement is child maintainence.
As for you, go continue your studies or find a decent job.
Remember, feel free to shit all over yourself.
Just don't shit all over other people.
Grow up.
ps: Look in the mirror, you are no saint yourself. I suggest you lay off the fault finding with your girlfriend, the more you complain about her short comings the less of a person you seem. Not cool.
u are in deep shit and this is not the right place for u to seek help, most of the forumers here are themselves quite screwed up in their lives, y the hell would u wan their advice??
go seek real help, like the pregnancy crisis hotline. most of the ppl here have absolutely no clue about what u are going through, u don't have to put up with all their flamings and condescending comments which are not constructive at all
Originally posted by Le Toro:Let pause for a moment. Will you take someone like mine gf as your future wife going against your parents ? While you yourself could have a better life from parents support and a better filial and educated girl whom ur parent agreed and doted on like their own? One big happy family together?
Can you tahan 50 years of abuse while u work yourself to death coming to home and your wife who dun appreciated you and spit you in the face. And get stuck into this relationship forever?
Are you willingly to keep forking out with the little money you have left to treat her personal illness bills forever while she sit at home and shake legs. While doest even support or give some moral support to her husband ? Or even a nice word thank you? Or are you tired hubby ?
Will you be tired is she constantly doest want to communicate and share her feelings with you? You will go berserk constantly trying to figure her out. What is she thinking ? etc etc
Will you afraid if one night u are sleeping and she stuck a knife in ur stomach ? Or run away again perhaps with a new guy.
I am sorry. I am tired. I guess my wonderful life is screwed. By fallen in love with the wrong person. There is no way out. Only a dead end.
I am sorry guys. I am tired. Have a good day. Please dun fall into the same situation as me.
Hi Le Tero,
I hope you would seriously consider what I have to say.
I've read your posts. I would especially like to quote the post above that you wrote.
Yes, all of us hear you, how you've been through a lot of unfortunate incidents because of this girl. In fact, I could blockquote all of what you had posted listing down all the hardship you had heroically gone through for this lady.
Let me just ask you a few questions that hopefully you could try to think of answers for yourself.
Were you happy in your previous family before you move out? I mean, not the kind of happiness people ordinarily see from the surface, that you've been wealthy, have pampering parents who give you more than enough allowance etc. Did you ever felt an emptiness or boredom no one else seems to fill?
I am going to make some very bold assumptions here. Along came this girl and she gave you the attention you craved. She distracted you from that void and soon you were smitten. In fact, you were so smitten with her that you unconsciously decided to overlook all her short-comings to the point of giving her your blind trust. You willing did all the hardwork, bore the hardship and trusted her without questions because you look to her as the distraction of your void.
In other words, you USED her as your ESCAPE. Because of all her irresponsible ways, she conveniently became your scapegoat for not facing up to life. No doubt, yes, you've been through some very hard times, but did you know that you could achieve twice or much much more with the same amount of effort you put in, minus the blame you unconsciously projected unto this girl? Not that she doesn't have a part to play in causing you grief, but that have you respected yourself enough not to be used by her this way? By using her as an escape this way, is this call true love? You do not need an excuse to be independent and successful. Now that you're away from your parents, isn't it time to stand on your own two feet and seriously take charge of your own life once and for all?
I am sorry. I am tired. I guess my wonderful life is screwed. By fallen in love with the wrong person. There is no way out. Only a dead end.
Your life is not screwed because you fell in love with the wrong person. Your life will only continue to be miserable because you keep pushing blame. You are tired because you have been pushing the focus on others. What about yourself? Have you seriously sat down and actually planned what you want in your life and what is the kind of girl you would want to eventually marry? What are your hobbies and what do you enjoy doing that you would do all over again to relax yourself? What are the things that you find meaningful?
One's purpose in life will not just drop from the sky nor come by because some girls showed you that little bit of extra care and attention. Many times, you would have to find it yourself. That is why life has been described as a journey. Have you started walking at all?
There is this thing called 'choices' in life. We get to choose. Make your choice and then ACCEPT it. If this girl has gone missing and you have CHOOSEN to do all you could, worrying about this matter incessantly is not going to make her come back. Just like we can only curse under our breath when we miss the last MRT, choosing to feel unhappy about it is not going to make another train appear magically right before your very eyes. Why not just hum and sing song meanwhile? Make yourself a little happier before the train comes along again?
Don't be a people pleaser. Not everyone walks the same path as you. You don't have to answer to them so long as you answer to yourself. Do you know what is important to you? Example, values such as respect, love and devotion. After identifying what are the important values to you, are you living up to them, or are you allowing others to trash them? If it is the latter, then why are you CHOOSING to ALLOW others to trample your beliefs and thus CHOOSING to feel miserable this way?
I should applaud you for mustering up your courage to post on AA forum here. You CHOSE to post here.
I hear you. I saw all that you wrote about what you've gone through which no doubt words would not be enough to even come close to experiencing the agony in real life. I hope that helps to get the rage and confusion off your chest.
I hope this is where the escape ends and taking charge of your own life starts.
Your life starts today. CHOOSE to live life, and shape it every single day. Rome wasn't built in a day.
All the best!
Originally posted by Le Toro:I think i am screwed big time just as you guys said. I guess there is no way out except to kill myself. Both my parents are from the elite society. And there is no way they will accept my so called 'uncivilized' gf and even worse the child. To them, is it a image thing and reputation. And that their socialist/capitalist frens will mock at them and how silly their son has gotten in life. They will disown me 100 percent.
As for me. I do not know wheater i could live with such a abusive ungrateful wife. I caught her stealing one time from her aunt bag. She denied it. And put on a very good show. She was't like this the 1st time we met. All sweet and demure. The stealing part was suspected on me as i was sleeping in that room. I just keep silent as i do not want to exposed my beloved gf. But she show no remorse or help to argue when her aunt said i took it.
As for screwing her, I do not even recall when likely the process taken place. Sex was almost none existance and stressful. I could not even hug her when sleeping.
Haiz..
Are you choosing to be in love with an illusion?
Originally posted by Le Toro:Dear Pitot,
Please do get it wrong.I do spared a thought for her. And i am serious about her and not what u just said. I loved her greatly. In fact, i do not allow her to work. As i like her to stay at home and relax and enjoy life. Although i am not a wealthy person. I feel the tiredness is worth it. At times she abuse me both verbally & physically. So please understand i am a victim too in this case. I am sort of stuck. She is no all at an timid and innocent angel. I cant describe it..Something between an ah lian and a uneducated lazy slow person. You get what i mean?
There afew time, she stuck me with a wooden chair,objects and a knife deep into luckily my forearm. I was send to 24 clinic to get the stab stitched. I have the records and scars on me to proved. So who is bullying who.
I do not want to get off. three things in my mind now. Lack of money , parents unacceptance, Uncertain relationship. She casually called me and said she will have sex with other guys and find a new person. She doest need me and will not return and will survive.
I do not want to end this relationship. It is just that this is not the time yet. Do u get what i mean Pitot ? I dun even have money to eat a mcdonald meal let alone fund a birth operation fee that cost thousands.
Love is supposed to be free. Only fear latches on. To me, love is about faith and respect. It should empower, not make one insecure.
An old adage still applies:
If you love someone, set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, she never was...
Originally posted by popikachu:This...
Might be life and death of a living being...
And... you might be playing against time...
"For pregnant women and their partners who need help. For example have doubts abt keeping the baby, are confused, need help and support, etc. : 1800-6868623
• Pregnancy Crisis Service 6339 9770• Babes, for teens with child & the child in them, http://www.babes.org.sg"
Quote from this thread.
Le Toro, call those numbers to seek for professional help. And most impt, go back to see your parents! Or do u have siblings that u can talk to. Let them help to convey.
All parents will forgive their beloved child, no matter what happen, go back to ur home, start fresh with them.
As for ur girl, if u really done ur best n couldn't find her, just wait for her to come to find you when she is out of $$, unless some unknown wants to support her.
Are u sure the baby is urs? If yes, then accept it. SHE WANTS TO BIRTH THE BABY!!!!!!! I hope that u can take the baby with u home to ur parents. If can't then perhaps adopt the baby to others. BUT NOT THE BABY TO BE WITH HER. Unless u want ur baby to be like her.
JIA YOU, shi shang wu nan shi, zhi pai you xin ren.....
if you really love her, just stay by her and ur parents will come to accept her someday.
speaking frm personal experience, my bf's mum used to hate me, i cant even go up to my bf's hse. My bf stood by me, creating chances for me and his mum to meet, and as time passes, she slowly accepted me, and nw we get along really well. :)
hmm, just a qn.. if u knew she was "uncivilized', why did u want to get together with her in the first place?
Originally posted by lalala1999:if you really love her, just stay by her and ur parents will come to accept her someday.
speaking frm personal experience, my bf's mum used to hate me, i cant even go up to my bf's hse. My bf stood by me, creating chances for me and his mum to meet, and as time passes, she slowly accepted me, and nw we get along really well. :)
hmm, just a qn.. if u knew she was "uncivilized', why did u want to get together with her in the first place?
Dear lalala1999,
Thank you for sharing your experience. I am glad that i am not alone in this situation. I do not mind her background. It is just that my parent unacceptance that cause me headache. I do not want to slight my parents and anger them too. I want to be a filial son to them. And they are not young anymore too. I just want to play my part as a good child.
When i moved out. I have a plan to be successful so that i prove to my parents that she does not burden me a single bit. And i can solely support her without using my parent funds. But it takes some time to acheive this. The rules has changed. We are struggling and there is more problems coming.
If my parent knew my gf is expecting. They will gladly kill me i suppose. A traitor to them and a shame to the family. If i were to born into a simple family. This would be no issue at all. But i was born into a fark up and sophisticated class of family. Where family members are constantly getting together nosing around and checking whats others are up to currently.
Anyway i think this is a good link to those who are in my same situation. http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_300/379_love_tip.html
Le Toro
She gives you a purpose to live. A reason to be allive.
The problem is, in return she gives you hell.
Thinking of that, makes you frustrated. Which is natural.
Just don't dwell too much on her trantrums, and continue to look after her the best you can. That is what you want to do, is it not?
Who says life must be happy? Life is to be lived, by doing things for yourself and others. Happiness, sadness are just feelings, that comes and goes. A sense of purpose in life is more important.
If you live only for yourself, you will find life empty, even with great wealth. Many wealthy personalilties with empty life has commited sucide.
Do good to others.
Dear friends,
We decided to ahead with it. One thing is can we just born the child out first. Before we married each other? Is it illegal according to the law ? Please advise me. Thank you dear friends.
Le Toro
Originally posted by Le Toro:Dear friends,
We decided to ahead with it. One thing is can we just born the child out first. Before we married each other? Is it illegal according to the law ? Please advise me. Thank you dear friends.
Le Toro
Le Toro,
My heart goes out to the baby. Given a broken family.. before he/she is even born.
If you are unsure if the baby is yours.. there is paternity tests before birth .. although it may carry some risks .
But first and foremost.. you must get her to a obstetrician, put her on a care plan.. the doctor will monitor both the health of the mother and baby during her pregnancy.
You really shouldn't be so afraid of your parents... remember.. that baby is also their grandchild.
Your parent may be dissapointed with you.. but they do not want to see their child and grandchild suffer because of their own anger....
Time will help heal and reconcile whatever wrong you have done....just give it some time.
You will break their heart.. if they ever found out.. you had to kill your own child because they were not able to accept your choices.....
Now that you are going to be a father yourself.. you should understand what it is like to be a parent. If you can understand where their anger comes from.. you will know how to deal with it.
No it is not illegal.. but you, your wife and the child will face some disadvantages...
You can still have your name on the baby's birthcert even if you don't marry your gf.
Good luck and be strong.