Problems with Parents
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Originally posted by rainee:
Well at least for her if she is ever in my plight she can sell off her 30k ring to pay for the banquet lor
she won't be in ur plight if someone can give a 30k ring... -
Originally posted by parn:
Marriage marks the bonding between two people and their FAMILIES.It is not always necessary for the bride and groom to foot the bills for the wedding reception and it should be as affordable as it can be for both families of the bride and groom.
If either families preferred a granduer wedding reception, then both families should work together with the bride and groom to decide the best possible wedding reception affordable.
It seems clearly that both families weren't communicating and this could be one of the problems that many forumers here has failed to factor that missing piece of information into rainee's situation. People just plainly read what others type nowadays without much processing and understanding isn't it?
If rainee sincerely seeks help from forumers in here, she should be more honest and be transparent about her feelings and her current situation. Withholding information on purpose and especially those informations that may place her in a disadvantageous position in her stance at sgforums may indicated that she might already have a clue that she was in the wrong. Even so, the advices that she received may not be relevant to her current situation as a single piece of additional withheld information could change the composition of the situation entirely. I'm not surprised if she realised that she's not getting the real help that she seeks in here because of that.
I would've expected a moderator to give better and neutral advice to rainee. Just because people here knows her more than her parents, doesn't means they should be taking sides with her and support her even though what she was doing or thinking is wrong and without morals.
If the TS wasn't rainee and it was some nobody that nobody knew about, then people wouldn't have felt obliged to take sides and would've change their stance to neutral and advised more sensibly. So as a moderator, don't take sides and do give sensible advices to other forumers who needed help.
Advising children to go against their parents is definitely a BAD advice to suggest. If you are a parent and people suggested to your child/children to go against you, what would you feel? Would you have agreed with those advices too?
Children don't and will never have that luxury of choosing their parents in their life, that is the law of nature and it is there for us to respect and obey.
Whoever agrees with advices that encourages children to go against their own parents will one day find themselves in the parents position. So be warned of what you have advised others as it will come back to claim you.
Don't be a moderator if you are unable to resist the temptations of joining the wrong crowd to give morally incorrect encouragements to forumers in need of help.
This is a public forum and everyone is entitled to have their own viewpoint. Just so long people don't start insulting etc, everyone is welcome to participate in the discussion.
Obviously you have issues with my point of view, that's completely fine with me. However, I appreciate that you stop making false accusation or assumption that I am taking side. FYI, I don't even know rainee in person other than that she is one of the forumers of Sgforums.
Whether I am fit to be a moderator or not, well again, everyone has a different viewpoint and expectation. I am not here to please everyone so if you really have an issue with me here, you have a choice not to post on AA. However, if you want to continue to participate in the discussions, you're most welcome to do so just so long as you would refrain yourself from making further derogatory comments to anyone!
Your cooperation is much appreciated!
Cheers!
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Originally posted by rainee:
Then meanwhile where should me and my hubby stay?
how many rooms is your flat?If 3-rooms flat, shld have 1x Masterbed room + 1x bedroom
If 4-rooms flat, shld have 1x masterbed room + 2x bedrooms
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Originally posted by dcx:
how many rooms is your flat?If 3-rooms flat, shld have 1x Masterbed room + 1x bedroom
If 4-rooms flat, shld have 1x masterbed room + 2x bedrooms
Yea, good idea...but there is always the question of privacy...
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Originally posted by parn:
If that's what you really think, then I hope you will be able to find the answers that you seeked from the rest of the other forumers.If you really have helped, why are they still up in arms trying to fulfil both conditions the parents set?
How is it that they fulfil the conditions without first fulfilling the requirements required to fulfil the conditions in the first place?
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Originally posted by rainee:
Yea, good idea...but there is always the question of privacy...
you have to balance your current and future living equation liao...just dun make too much noise at night...try to enjoy the making of life in silence for only 1 yr or so...after that year, as loud as you can...lol
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it's only 1 or 2 yrs nia...after that, no worries of such issues liao....
quite worth it leh....
Not say i want to say...since already married liao, must be mature & realistic enough to understand n plan liao...
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Originally posted by dcx:
it's only 1 or 2 yrs nia...after that, no worries of such issues liao....
quite worth it leh....
Not say i want to say...since already married liao, must be mature & realistic enough to understand n plan liao...
Yea I understand what you are trying to say...
Actually we are quite confident we can hold the banquet by 2010...just that my parents unable to wait until then...they want me to hold it as soon as possible, hopefully by early next year...then move in to my own house straight after that...
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Originally posted by rainee:
Yea I understand what you are trying to say...
Actually we are quite confident we can hold the banquet by 2010...just that my parents unable to wait until then...they want me to hold it as soon as possible, hopefully by early next year...then move in to my own house straight after that...
"Huh? Like that ah? How huh? No money..." -
Originally posted by dcx:
"Huh? Like that ah? How huh? No money..."I have been saying something along that line to them for the past few times they bring this issue up...they just say that I am useless lor, unable to earn more to pay for everything.
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Originally posted by rainee:
I have been saying something along that line to them for the past few times they bring this issue up...they just say that I am useless lor, unable to earn more to pay for everything.
Yeah... coupled by a hubby that is also starting his freelancing business also....
Haiz need more time to save up...
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Originally posted by NekoRin:
Yeah... coupled by a hubby that is also starting his freelancing business also....
Haiz need more time to save up...
*Goes into private chat mode*
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Originally posted by parn:
You truly do not LOVE your parents at all.Please only talk about terms and conditions with strangers and friends, but not to your own parents!
What kind of love are you showing to your own parents if you don't even LOVE them enough to OBEY THEM?
How would you feel if one day your daughter also shares the same thinking as you? Even though you will treat your daughter better, but that doesn't means you won't be put into the same situation as your parents are facing from you at the present.
You know your parents aren't as bad as you make them out to be, there are worse parents out there and there are also many living examples of children who have overcame situations like this with their own LOVE!
Do you really expect to bring your parents down on their knees and restrained themselves to live their remaining lives to do your bidding and die in the way that you would've wanted of them?
Drop this entire ego thing for the sake of your own future, and go humbled yourself before your parents and let them know that you LOVE them and do love them for as long as you lived.
Don't be like many of the forumers here who do are not wise enough to appreciate their own parents and even have the unthinkable thoughts of going against their own parents who have painfully brought them onto this world and brought them up to be an independent individuals.
You can do better than them and you have the choice to correct your life right where you parents would've wanted you to become.
if she don't love her parents? why do she even bother to post... she can jsut abandon them
if she don't love her parents why does she even bother to give them money?
Loving them is one thing Obey them is another thing...
if one day your dad want you to go and kill someone for him you obey him?Get facts right before farting your smelly transexual ass here..
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Originally posted by rainee:
I have been saying something along that line to them for the past few times they bring this issue up...they just say that I am useless lor, unable to earn more to pay for everything.
That's pretty typical....especially from malaysian families...it's not a matter of not able to earn more to pay for everything....
You & him dun earn 10k per month...
To hold everything togather also need time to save up...
As sugguested earlier, you can choose to rent out the spare rooms and shorten the "savings" time....
Otherwise, no choice,you already scrimb to the max and that's the most you can save and the min. time required to fulfill the wedding dinner..
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Erm Rainee, don't you find that giving 40% of your salary to your parents is a little too much?
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Originally posted by crimsontactics:
Erm Rainee, don't you find that giving 40% of your salary to your parents is a little too much?
yeah in regards to that. rainee what does ya parents spent on?
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Fwah this thread so many pages liao.
Btw.
Congrats to rin and rainee.
U cant always compromise for your whole life.
So just do wad u can, no one would blame you.
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Originally posted by crimsontactics:
Erm Rainee, don't you find that giving 40% of your salary to your parents is a little too much?
Yes, but this is something I have agreed to so what to do?
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Originally posted by kengkia:
yeah in regards to that. rainee what does ya parents spent on?
I dunno what they spent on, not interested to know also. I am able to give them 40% of my pay happily as long as they dun come and pester me.
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Originally posted by seotiblizzard:
Fwah this thread so many pages liao.
Btw.
Congrats to rin and rainee.
U cant always compromise for your whole life.
So just do wad u can, no one would blame you.
Yes, I know. What I am afraid of is they will come and create trouble for me at my workplace. They have done it before as well.
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Originally posted by rainee:
Yes, I know. What I am afraid of is they will come and create trouble for me at my workplace. They have done it before as well.
Tht sucks.Why would they do tht?
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Originally posted by rainee:
Yes, but this is something I have agreed to so what to do?
And why did you agree on such a thing in the first place?
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Originally posted by rainee:
I dunno what they spent on, not interested to know also. I am able to give them 40% of my pay happily as long as they dun come and pester me.
u must find out what they want ultimately, guess no use playing high and seek with them...u plus both ya parents age can be 100 plus yrs old le not children anymore. u will have to piece together bit by bit like jigsaw puzzle what they do with the money back then. this is a way to start finding out their real intentions. i say again NO BEATING AROUND THE BUSH! Small details like where they spend the money on also very impt. just liken it like police investigation of a murder like tt.
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Originally posted by seotiblizzard:
Tht sucks.Why would they do tht?
To get me to give in to them?
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Originally posted by crimsontactics:
And why did you agree on such a thing in the first place?
So that I would be able to come and work here in peace?